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VERIZON CENTER, WASHINGTON, D.C.

UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: DOLPH ZIGGLER (W/ VICKIE GUERRERO) VS KOFI KINGSTON (CHAMPION)

Uh-oh, it’s time for Screetch Witch and Shorty (I refer to Dolph’s new shortened blonde locks, which means he can’t really do that ‘flicking the sweat at your opponent’ move anymore). Kicking off the Capitol Punishment event is this match for the United States title; quite apt seeing as this event is staged in Washington. There’s some nice to-ing and fro-ing from both men in the opening exchange, but I feel Dolph might just edge this one – more than anything I’m quite bored with having Kingston as a champion, and his seeming inability to defend whatever gold he’s holding at the time. It’s nice to see him in a title defence at last…a thunderous chop from Kingston brings a ‘GOODNESS!’ from Booker, who is on commentary tonight along with Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler. Kingston gets a close two count after a bizarre top-rope splash onto Dolph’s back, but then nails his signature Boom Drop. Dolph is staggering around but manages to avoid the Trouble In Paradise and then kicks out of Kingston’s S.O.S. move. Kingston is appearing a little desperate now, going for covers whenever he can, but Dolph keeps on coming back. This match is closer than I thought it would be; I had imagined a fairly routine win for Kingston but Dolph is certainly holding his own. Dolph sets Kingston up for a superplex, but Kingston pushes him off and another top-rope splash results in a two count. Kingston slows the pace down somewhat, but Dolph latches a sleeper-hold on the champ, only to get rammed into the turnbuckle. Up goes Kingston again, and tries for the Trouble In Paradise again but misses. Vickie gouges at Kingston’s eyes, sending him into another sleeper-hold. It looks like Dolph went for the Zig-Zag finisher, but botched it a little. The referee appears to stop the match as Kingston lies lifeless (well, perhaps not literally) but certainly title-less, as Dolph is announced as the new United States Champion.

WINNER BY SUBMISSION: DOLPH ZIGGLER (NEW CHAMPION)

Ooh, a shiny black limousine appears, containing R-Truth, who is immediately accosted by work experience boy Josh Matthews. Truth still has Cena’s belt, and his now trademark bottle of water. He tells everyone that the champ is here, and gets in everyone’s face, including Eve. He dedicates tonight to “the little Jimmies” before he heads off, probably for a pasty and a shower before his match. The Miz is getting interviewed backstage by Todd Grisham about his upcoming match with his ‘NXT reject’ Alex Riley. I can’t really see Riley getting one over on his former boss, but I guess he could get lucky. We get the obligatory recap package of how Miz and Riley got into this sticky state, including Riley becoming a disappointment in his eyes. To be fair this last bit was quite entertaining, as it’s the age old fantasy of having a go at your boss! I can’t help feeling that this match would have been better off as a No Disqualification match, but there you go.

THE MIZ VS ALEX RILEY

There is some truth in what Michael Cole says, that Alex Riley is only really where he is because he was picked to be Miz’s henchman – there’s just something about him that I can’t really see being a champion in his own right. As thought, the two are right at each other as this one kicks off, with Riley chasing Miz around the ring and laying into him with kicks, before Miz is straight back on the offence. Miz gets a nice kick to the head in, before some general taunting. I don’t think there’s too much danger of this one being overly technical, so perhaps fans of suplexes or nice submission wrestling would like to look away. Booker adds some more sense when he comments on Miz having the edge in terms of experience, but you get the feeling that Riley may be given the win to keep the people happy. A win for The Miz would generate some quite considerable heat on him though, and keep up that cocksure, egotistical demeanour he has. Riley, after a brief period of attack is sent to the outside, and Miz weighs him up methodically before powering another boot into him. Miz tells Riley that he’s the important one, which in the grand scheme of things, is probably not far from the truth. Miz is having fun now, letting Riley lash out but dodging his blows. He does connect with one or two, but Miz gets on Riley’s back and wears him down to the mat again. Riley fights his way out, before a lovely reverse neckbreaker gets a two count for the Miz. Miz hits his turnbuckle clothesline, before he puts Riley down with an axe-handle off the top rope. Riley is deposited on the top rope and strung up, before Miz batters him with some kicks. Riley avoids a running dropkick, and manages to free himself off the ropes, with both men down. Riley hits a spear and rains punches down on The Miz, and the comeback is on. A spinebuster earns Riley a two-count. Miz is really feeling it now, and tries to get some respite in the ring, but gets tossed to the guardrail and into the announcer’s table for his troubles. Michael Cole tries to berate Riley, telling him that Miz nurtured him, but Riley slings Cole off the table. The distraction has given Miz time to recover however, and he throws him back in the ring and fetches his briefcase. The referee grabs it back, not wishing the match to end with a disqualification. As Miz turns, Riley nails him with a DDT not too dissimilar to that which Edge utilised during his career, and covers him for the win. Riley takes his applause as Cole bangs his fists on the announcer’s desk in frustration.

WINNER BY PIN-FALL: ALEX RILEY

ALBERTO DEL RIO VS BIG SHOW

We’re given a highlights package of the run-up to the Big Show and Alberto Del Rio confrontation. We’re shown Big Show being slapped in the face, then injured at his hands and his retribution when he demolished Del Rio, Ricardo Rodriguez and then Mark Henry, before wrecking the ring area. This ought to be a good match, I don’t think it will be a squash match for the Big Show by any means, but it’ll be interesting to see how Del Rio fares against such a big man. There’s no Rodriguez along with Del Rio tonight, so it’s weird to hear an introduction for him in English. Big Show rushes Del Rio as he’s walking down the ramp and takes an immediate upper hand. With no Rodriguez to protect him or cause a distraction, Del Rio is free to get thrown around ringside, before getting unceremoniously dumped back in the ring. Mark Henry then makes an appearance, and throws all 485 pounds of Big Show over the announcer’s desk, before slamming him through it. I’m not even really sure if this match has properly kicked off yet, but surely this evens things for Del Rio and should slow Big Show down. Perhaps they’ll put Henry against Del Rio instead? But no, Henry is back on the Big Show, slamming his leg into the ruins of the desk. Del Rio is still in the ring, looking like he’s waiting for a train or something as Big Show is attended to by the referee. Big Show is slowly getting to his feet, while Del Rio demands the referee begin counting him out, which he does. He gets to seven before Big Show slides back in the ring. I think you can count Del Rio to go for the injured leg in this one…! Big Show manhandles Del Rio again though, punishing him with some big slaps and going for an early chokeslam before Del Rio works on the leg and bringing the giant down to the floor. A two-count from Del Rio sees him get literally thrown off, before a massive chokeslam sees Del Rio roll to the outside for some comfort. Del Rio is lifted back in by his hair, and a top rope move from Del Rio sees him caught in another chokeslam grip! But again Big Show is worn down, before he lifts Del Rio off and backdrops him. Del Rio goes for his patented armbreaker move, but on Big Show’s injured leg, which is quite inventive. Big Show refuses to tap out, but doesn’t seem to be moving nearer the ropes either. He eventually reaches out and forces Del Rio to break the hold. Del Rio is up and waiting for Big Show to rise, which he does, dripping with sweat. But then he’s down again, the pain in his leg seemingly too much. Del Rio is liking this, smirking as the big man fails to stand. The referee calls for the bell, and the official decision is that Del Rio has won! You have to feel for Big Show really, but you do get the feeling this is building to a bigger bout, perhaps at Summerslam? Quite a weird ending to this match, I can’t remember the last time I saw a match stopped, but there you go.

WINNER BY MATCH STOPPAGE: ALBERTO DEL RIO

Big Show is helped away by about sixteen referees, and we’re treated to R-Truth backstage with a photographer. He wants some photos taken now, because after his match he’ll be all sweaty.

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: WADE BARRETT (CHAMPION) VS EZEKIEL JACKSON

Wade Barrett, the Intercontinental Champion, struts about announcing that he’s far from happy to be here. He walks out to the ramp, and begins laying into America’s problems, and how in a few years, everyone will be speaking Chinese. He thinks America looks all shiny from the outside, but inside, it’s a hollow shell – like his opponent, Big Zeke! This generates a fair amount of booing for Barrett, which is funny to see as a fellow Brit. It seems Ezekiel Jackson gets bigger each time we see him. With The Corre seemingly disbanded, this rematch for the I.C. title should be a bit more level, seeing as we won’t have Gabriel and Slater running down after five minutes to lay into Jackson. It seems written that Barrett will lose this one, as the crowd start up a chant of ‘USA! USA!’ and are all behind Jackson. Barrett gets caught in a torture rack submission, but escapes, only to get laid into again by the challenger. Barrett is really getting a pounding here, but manages to fight his way back into it, going for an ill-advised early cover. Jackson goes for a strong clothesline, but Barrett impressively reverses into a huge sidewalk slam, before going to a headlock to wear his former teammate down. Barrett tries to get Jackson up into his Wasteland finisher, but he avoids it. Barrett manages to roll Jackson up for a two-count pin, then manages to land a pumphandle slam for another two count. Jackson gets trapped in the corner of the ring, and is assaulted by Barrett, who stops his attacks each time before the five-count. Jackson fights back with an elbow and a series of clotheslines, before psyching himself up and body-splashing Barrett in the corner. Both men vye for position, and Barrett hits his Wasteland finisher, but only gets a two in the pin. Barrett can’t believe it, and goes back to pummelling Jackson, before having a stroll around the ring, surveying the crowd. Jackson catches Barrett with the series of bodyslams, hitting four in quick succession, before hoisting Barrett up in the submission, which Barrett taps out to. A good showing for Ezekiel Jackson, who wins a well deserved title at last.

WINNER BY PINFALL: EZEKIEL JACKSON (NEW CHAMPION)

Jerry Lawler enters the ring, and asks Jackson how it feels to be the new champion. Jackson tells us that its really, really awful. Only joking – he thinks it’s the greatest day of his life (couldn’t have seen that coming). Jackson rambles on about domination or something, and walks off, triumphant.

CM Punk is backstage being interviewed by Josh, and comments about historical Washington and all the politicians from the city. Punk tells us he’s not a liar, and Rey Mysterio is one instead. Punk however, tells us he’s using us, whereas Mysterio doesn’t. He also says when he wins, he will do the most intelligent thing the WWE has ever seen…

CM PUNK VS REY MYSTERIO

Oh Christ, what get-up is Mysterio going to have on tonight| Ah, its quite sedate by the wee jumping jack’s standards – black. We’re told the rivalry between these two is 1-1, so this must be the decider. Again, I’m rooting for Punk – I really can’t wait for the day Mysterio hangs up his boots. Saying that, he does get some good offence in early on Punk, making the most of his size. Mysterio goes in with some low kicks, before he’s slammed by Punk and covered but only gets a one-count. Punk goes for an elaborate sequence of moves, but ends up with Punk sitting on him for a cover. Punk inevitably ends up in position for a 619, but Punk wisely avoids it. Mysterio launches himself onto Punk on the outside of the ring, who catches him and sends Mysterio face first into the crowd barrier. Punk is building some momentum here, getting Rey up in a painful looking submission hold. Punk is being intelligent here and keeping Mysterio grounded – he’s not really been able to get into this match and showcase his aeriel skills. Mysterio fights his way loose of Punk’s leg scissors move, but is instantly caught in a backbreaker as he bounces off the ropes. Back to the leg scissors, Punk manoeuvres Mysterio into a couple of pinning predicaments, and seems to be whispering into Mysterio’s ear. Mysterio sets Punk up again for a 619, but a reversal leads to a two-count for Punk. Some knees to the gut butter Mysterio up for a stretch submission, which has Mysterio groaning like he REALLY NEEDS THE TOILET. Mysterio seems to be struggling on his feet a bit at the moment, but he’s fighting back, and sends Punk over the top rope with a head scissors. He nails Punk with an aeriel move from the apron, landing a moonsault with great effect. Mysterio is up top, and hits a flying headbutt for a close two-count. A cross-body off the ropes by Mysterio is reversed, earning a close pin for Punk. Mysterio then lands a vicious kick to the head, but Punk won’t go quietly. Again Mysterio goes to the top, but Punk is ready and intercepts him. After some headbutts to the back, Punk sends Mysterio crashing to the mat with a super backdrop. Punk caught a lot of the move too, and a two-count is all. Punk is now clutching an arm as he tries to regain his feet. Mysterio dodges a shoulder charge from Punk to the turnbuckle, and hits a 619 out of nowhere which sends both men outside the ring. Punk is rolled back in, before Mysterio goes up top AGAIN, before Punk brings his knees up and gets a two off the pin. Screaming in frustration, he signals for the end, and the GTS! He gets Mysterio up ready for the move, but Mysterio reverses with a superb hurricanrana for a two-count. Mysterio kicks out again after a massive head kick, and Punk really does look done in now. Mysterio reverses the GTS into a 619, but is caught by Punk into ANOTHER GTS which is delivered with great force, and enables Punk to nab the victory.

WINNER BY PINFALL: CM PUNK

I just thought, as this pay-per-view is Capitol Punishment, couldn’t they have furnished us with an Electric Chair Match or a Gas Chamber Match or something? OK, perhaps that’s a bit too much…

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: CHRISTIAN VS RANDY ORTON (CHAMPION)

It’s time again for Christian vs. Randy Orton, a feud I won’t mind admitting I feel has run its course now. I just can’t get used to Christian being Champion material (and seeing as he only had the belt for like, five days, it galls me that he keeps getting opportunities to win it back. “I can beat you Randy” he says over and over again – it would appear not, old chap), and while Orton does suit having the belt, you just wish someone new would get a chance at it. Sorry, my opinion! Feel free to agree however! Saying that, I can’t predict how this one will go, after the results which came as a bit of a surprise earlier in the evening (I wouldn’t have seen Punk getting the win over Mysterio, for instance). Randy’s beard has come on since the last PPV, its perhaps one of the neatest facial adornments in the WWE. Still no sign of him going all ‘vagrant’ though and having it really long and straggly. I’m thinking Tom Hanks in ‘Castaway’…Both men exchange blows early on, but Orton gets the upper hand and puts Christian in a headlock. After some leapfrog off the ropes, he sends Christian down with a shoulder barge and back to the tie-up. Christian batters his way free, but wastes time getting onto the second rope. He tries for a dropkick, but Orton swats Christian away, before being sent to the outside through the ropes. This time, Christian connects with a dropkick off the ropes, before throwing himself outside and…well, missing. Orton despatches him back in the ring, and a two-count follows. Some punches from up on the turnbuckle follow, before Christian is clotheslined over the top rope to the security barrier. He then lays Christian on the ring steps and sets up for his DDT, but Christian reverses and rams Orton headfirst into the steps. A two-count for Christian, and the Canadian has the advantage, stomping Orton into the corner, where he chokes him out with his feet. Christian hits an old school neck-breaker, but its not enough to put the champion away. Ooh, while we’re at it, I thought of another gimmick match for Capitol Punishment – Lethal Injection On A Pole Match! Bear this in mind for 2012, Vince! Orton pulls a two-count out of nowhere, before Christian follows this immediately with a power move for another two. Christian is sent careering into the turnbuckle, and back-dropped with some authority, before hammering away at Christian’s chest. Orton looks like a man possessed, but is also grabbing his head a lot, as if he’s really feeling the toll. Orton levels Christian with some clotheslines and his snap-powerslam. A belly-to-belly suplex results in a narrow two-count, before Christian struggles out of Orton’s DDT he utilises with the opponent’s legs dangling on the ropes. Orton avoids a suplex out of the ring onto the remains of one of the announcer’s tables, and reverses it into a superplex situation. Both men get a lot of hurt off the move, but Orton manages a cover for two. Orton and Christian trade some slaps as they get to their feet, with Orton going for the RKO, then Christian trying to hit the Kill Switch, before Orton hits an elevated neck-breaker for another close call. Again, both men try for their finishing moves, but Christian ducks out of the ring. This time, Orton gets the hanging DDT and delivers it effectively. Orton’s face indicates he’s ready for the RKO, and he hooks Christian up for it, but he reverses again for ANOTHER two count. Christian, getting to his feet and spitting out flecks of saliva, looked a bit like a Christmas turkey then. He’s setting up Orton for the spear, is leapfrogged by Orton, who goes for an RKO, which Christian pushes away, and nails the spear! But it’s only a two-count again! Both men look absolutely spent now. As much as I don’t really relish these two in the ring together, I have to admit they do seem to work well together. Christian climbs to the top, but Orton ducks the move and finally hits the RKO and it’s goodnight Christian – again. Although replays suggest that Christian could have put his foot on the ropes to break the count, but he obviously wasn’t looking. Christian is appealing to the referee that he did indeed have his foot on the ropes, or as good as. Orton looks on pitifully, like Christian is trying desperately to get this match restarted. I don’t think it’ll happen however – they’ll more than likely get a rematch. Orton feels this is the end of the road however, and hammers him with the World Heavyweight belt, laying him out in the middle of the ring.

WINNER BY PINFALL: RANDY ORTON (ORTON RETAINS TITLE)

Who the hell is this goon, coming out with the Bella Twins? Some dunce named Keith Stone is in the building, and is coming to the ring with some beers. I thought it was Santino Marella in a stupid outfit at first, but apparently not. Nobody seems bothered telling us why this man is here, even when the camera changes to Booker, King and Cole. Instead, we get a highlights reel of the build-up to John Cena vs. R-Truth.

JACK SWAGGER VS EVAN BOURNE

I’ve never really known what to make of Evan Bourne. I like his entrance music (my created wrestler on WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2011 has his entrance theme) but he doesn’t really seem that durable. Mind you, Jack Swagger is hardly Mr. Consistency himself. One minute he’s World Heavyweight Champion, the next he’s Michael Cole’s manager for some Wrestlemania gimmick match. You get the impression Swagger could be upset here by his smaller opponent. Right now, Swagger is on the up however, as Bourne has trouble getting Swagger in some more grapple-based moves. He is, in the words of The Rock, bringing it, however, but only briefly, as Swagger punishes him with some inverted back-breakers, focusing on the ribs. He then goes to work on the kidneys with some nasty looking elbows and a wearing chin-lock. Oh, it seems that Keith Stone prick is on the front row with the Bella twins and his beers. I do like Swagger, for all his shortcomings – I think he deserves more of a push again. He lifts Bourne about twelve feet in the air with a backdrop, then batters him up against the turnbuckle again. Swagger lands his running body-splash off the turnbuckle, but only manages a two-count. A few times, Swagger seems to be leaving Bourne just as he gets started, as if he’s afraid the match might get stopped like the Big Show v Del Rio one did. A nice comeback hurricanana from Bourne starts his first real offence of the match, before he’s put down again by the bigger man. Another running splash gets countered, and he puts Swagger on his back before going up top. He avoids Swagger’s attack but runs straight into a big boot as he bounces back off the ropes. Bourne is back on the top rope, and absolutely flattens Swagger with a delightful tornado DDT which gets a two-count. A huge roundhouse kick puts Swagger down again, and then the stage is set for Bourne’s Airbourne move, but Swagger moves out the way. A Gutwrench Powerbomb is reversed into the anklelock, but Bourne wriggles around until he flips Swagger over onto his shoulders for the three count!

WINNER BY PINFALL: EVAN BOURNE

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: JOHN CENA (CHAMPION) VS R-TRUTH

More hype for the main event, which to be honest I fast forwarded as it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. I have a friend who shouts all that “Little Jimmy” stuff whenever I see him and to be honest it’s dead annoying, yet Truth himself seems only half as irritating when he does it. At least he’s not storming around rapping everywhere. Truth has come down to the ring with Cena’s championship belt, which is rather funny, but I can’t see him capturing the title tonight. Cena emerges and seems to be quite glad he’s in the capitol city tonight. I have to admit I’m surprised Truth has this title opportunity, but it’s nice all the same to see someone new get a shot. Although it’s a storyline, you can see Truth’s point about Cena being the poster-child of the company, and the reason why people like Truth don’t get as many title shots as perhaps they feel they deserve. Little has happened so far, with each man measuring the other up cautiously. I can’t hear too many ‘Cena Sucks’ chants from the crowd, which is perhaps because The Rock hasn’t been the guest host of this event. Cena rams Truth’s head into the mat with a Facebuster, but Truth is quick to escape the ring and gather his thoughts once again. Come on lad, you can have a rest after the match. Truth wanders straight into an Attitude Adjustment, but manages to reverse it into an inverted suplex. Truth chokes Cena out in the corner, but breaks before he can get disqualified. Cena is laid out with a side kick, and gets a two-count. Truth does a rather jaunty leg-drop with some dancing, but this only gets a two as well. The crowd do seem in good voice tonight for this match, which is odd as so far this PPV hasn’t really set the world on fire. Both men are locked in a test of strength now, but Truth puts Cena down with a spinning elbow. I find it funny when the commentators are convinced that someone is going to capture a big win or a title by using dastardly moves like ‘the knee drop’ and get all excited when the referee gets to two…like a match would end that way. Although saying that, I did win a match on the original WWE Smackdown game (on Playstation! In 1999!) as Paul Bearer by whacking The Undertaker with a double axe-handle and pinning him, so stranger things have happened…albeit in the digital domain. Cena is in a bad way at the moment, clutching the ropes on the ring apron, before being levelled by an R-Truth clothesline. I wonder if Truth gets all sweaty wrestling in jeans? I’m bad enough wearing jeans on a hot day, let alone throwing a 240 pound man around a ring. Nice to hear sections of the crowd chanting for ‘little Jimmy!’ Truth gets a huge hip toss as Cena rebounds off a turnbuckle, but again it’s only a two-count. Cena forces his way out of a leg scissors, and tries for an STF, but Truth scurries for the ropes before getting back on the offensive and getting a swift two count. Cena appears to be out of it in the middle of the ring, so it’s time for another dance-oriented leg drop which Truth misses. Cena drops his sequence of moves that pre-date his Attitude Adjustment, but Truth escapes and hits a nice jawbreaker style move. No win, though, which Truth looks really confused about, muttering to himself somewhat. Cena gets gingerly to his feet, and avoids a dive from Truth onto the turnbuckle. Truth gets caught in the STF, but Truth grabs the rope, and the hold is released on the referee’s count of three. Truth hits his scissor kick on Cena, which takes it out of both men, but it’s another two count. Truth heads to the top rope, but Cena catches him, rolls over and tries to hoist him up for the Attitude Adjustment, but Truth hits his ‘Rock Bottom’ style signature move. It’s ANOTHER TWO COUNT, and Cena rolls out the ring to avoid further punishment. Truth appears to be taking time out to berate the crowd, and steals a little boy’s cap and has a drink of soda, before the little boy throws the drink in his face. Cena dumps Truth back in the ring, and takes advantage of his cockiness by delivering a damning Attitude Adjustment for the 1-2-3! After the match, the wee lad who assisted in the win gets taken to the ring by Cena, who he celebrates with. It’s a sad day indeed when Cena has to rely on kids to pick up a title defence!

WINNER BY PINFALL: JOHN CENA (CENA RETAINS TITLE)

Ever the boot-kisser, Cena celebrates with some army dudes after getting the win. He’s always doing that, damn it. So, that was Capitol Punishment folks, two new champions and two retentions. Hope you enjoyed this recap, and hope to see you for the next PPV in July. Holler!

Source: wrestlingtruth.com