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RAW emanated from Las Vegas, Nevada. Tonight was the return of RAW Roulette. Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole were on commentary, with Booker T doing spin-aroonis for Raw Roulette.

(You’re reading the words of a guy who loves Vegas! This Vegas edition of the RAW Review is dedicated to my usual Vegas road-trip buddies Darrell, Marissa “the Killah,” Alex, Pauline, O’Neill, and, of course, Geraldine. Chula Vista represent!!)

Highlights:

CM Punk rants and gets the plug pulled on him to close RAW.

R-Truth defeated WWE Champion John Cena in a tables match (with an assist from CM Punk).

RAW Money in the Bank Ladder Match set: Alberto Del Rio, Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, Rey Mysterio, Alex Riley, The Miz, Jack Swagger, and R-Truth.

Shawn Michaels delivered three sweet chin musics…and promised NOT to shamelessly promote his outdoor adventure show premiering tomorrow.

Match Results:

Kane defeated CM Punk by count-out.

Sin Cara defeated Evan Bourne by pinfall.

Kofi Kingston defeated Dolph Ziggler by pinfall.

Alberto Del Rio defeated Big Show by climbing out of the steel cage.

Kelly Kelly defeated Nikki Bella by submission.

R-Truth defeated John Cena in a Tables Match.

Opening segment:

Shawn Michaels’ early 1990s self-sung music intro hit, and Michaels made his way to the ring. Shawn began by saying that he really did try to stay away, but he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t just stop cold-turkey after twenty-plus years of doing something. It was the fans that made him the Show-Stoppuh, the Main Event, Mr. Wrestlemania. Michaels then complained that guest hosts often are there to only plug their other projects. Shawn Michaels, however, said he would not do that. Michaels would not…and did not…talk about his new outdoor adventure show premiering tomorrow night on another cable network.

At this point, CM Punk’s music hit, and he came to the ring with McGillicutty and Otunga. Punk said that he was happy because he was leaving on July 17th. Punk then railed Michaels for going out a loser by losing to The Undertaker. Punk, however, will go out a winner by winning the WWE Champion. One of the reasons Punk is leaving was all of the WWE Universe. The people would rather stand and cheer for a has-been like Michaels than get on their knees and beg the present and future to stay. Michaels said the people cheer for him because they know he is better than Punk. Punk admitted that Michaels WAS better than him, but he is not better than Punk now. Michaels then admitted that Punk has his style and Michaels has his own…and Superkicked David Otunga, knocking him out cold.

At this point, the anonymous GM came in and announced that Punk was going to make his last three weeks in the WWE count. Punk was going to have the first match of the evening, and the RAW Roulette spin revealed a “mystery opponent,” which was no mystery because it was revealed to be Kane and the match was next. As Punk stared at the Titantron in fear, Michaels then delivered a sudden super kick to McGillicutty, and Kane’s entrance music hit.

Kane v. CM Punk (Mystery opponent match)

Kane began with an uppercut chop and then threw Punk out to the floor, where the beating continued. As Kane pounded on Punk seated in the corner, the crowd chanted CM PUNK, CM PUNK. Kane earned a near fall and then whipped Punk to the corner where he followed Punk with a clothesline in the corner. Punk then reversed momentum, and sprung to the top ropes to attempt a jump. Punk landed in choke slam position for Kane, but avoided the choke slam by kicking Kane in the head. Punk was firmly in control and began working on Kane, as Lawler and Cole began discussing why Punk would want to leave the WWE if he was at the pinnacle of his career currently. Punk attempted a superplex on Kane, but Kane resisted it and head-butted Punk down to the mat. Kane was going to jump, but Punk rolled out of the ring and began walking back up the entrance ramp. The referee continued the count and counted out Punk. Winner by count-out: Kane.

Sin Cara v. Evan Bourne (No count-out)

Michael Cole acknowledged that the voting for last week’s power of the people match crashed the WWE servers, and this was the match that the people really wanted. Booker T and Eve did the spin for the match stipulation. The match would be a “no count-out” match. Oooh, what a great stipulation on a match with two faces. Unbelievable!!!!

The two began the match on the mat, with Bourne cinching in an armbar. Cara did a snazzy reversal / escape, but Bourne then locked in a hammer lock. Cara then did some high-fling moves, including the one where he runs to the top rope and then, holding Bourne’s arm, flips over Bourne and throws him all the way across the ring.

(This is an aside…but Sin Cara, PLEASE NAME YOUR MOVES so I don’t miss half your match trying to figure out how to describe these moves of yours!!)

Cara launched himself through the second rope and into Bourne for a shoulder block. Outside the ring, Cara looked like he was mounting Bourne in some sort of Torture rack, but Bourne reversed it and swung into a hurricanrana on the floor. The two made their way back into the ring and exchanged three near falls with cool looking stacks. Bourne hit a standing moonsault on Cara and earned a near fall. Wow, great height. Bourne went to the top for Air Bourne, but Cara moved, and Bourne landed on his feet. Cara then hit a move that was a hurricanrana-into-an-F5 (Lesnar’s old finish), earning the pinfall. Winner by pinfall: Sin Cara.

Backstage, Kofi Kingston was talking with Booker about his upcoming match with Dolph Ziggler, and Vickie came in to do the spin. Luckily for Kofi, he won a “player’s choice match,” which meant he could choose the stipulation. Kofi chose to have Vickie banned from ringside…and another injustice from last week’s voting was corrected.

Kofi Kingston v. Dolph Ziggler (Vickie banned)

Kofi came out first. When Vickie came out to introduce Ziggler, a cadre of referees came out to prevent her from even delivering the introduction. As soon as the match began, Ziggler got out of the ring and acted like he was cool with being counted out. Kofi chased him down and dragged him into the ring. Back in the ring, Z had the early advantage until Kofi hit Z with a Tito Santana Flying Forearm that sent Z out of the ring and down to the floor. Kofi then body slammed Z on the floor. After lifting up Z, Z rammed Kofi‘s head into the steel post, leaving Kofi hurt and Z recovering from the body slam. After coming back from commercial, Z firmly controlled Kingston with a headlock on the mat. Kofi was trying to get to his feet and eventually got there with some punches to the mid-section. Ziggler then hit a leg drop to the back of the head and earned a near-fall. Ziggler then ground his forearm and elbow into Kofi’s face along the ropes.
Kofi fought back with some uppercuts to the stomach until Ziggler hit a neck breaker and earned another near-fall. Kofi managed to roll up Ziggler and earn a near-fall. Ziggler then tried to throw Kofi over the top rope, but Kofi somehow stayed in the ring and then executed a Trouble in Paradise on Ziggler’s face, earning the pinfall. Winner by pinfall: Kofi Kingston.

Backstage, Booker T was standing at the wheel with hot Maryse commenting on Kofi’s victory when Alberto Del Rio came over and complained that he shouldn’t have to face Big Show again. Booker T said he don’t make the matches, he just makes the spins….And it was Alberto Del Rio’s turn to spin. Del Rio, who noticed Maryse’s hotness, let her do the spin. While the wheel spun, Maryse told Del Rio that she was all about nice cars, clothes, and shoes. When Del Rio noticed what match stipulation won on the spin, he was upset and left the set while muttering to himself. Maryse spun a “Steel Cage Match”. Booker followed up with a classic, “She did not just spin that. Tell…me…she did not…just…spin that.”

Alberto Del Rio v. The Big Show (Steel Cage)

Amazingly, the cage was set up around the ring, even though the roulette spin had only happened a moment before the commercial break. Alberto Del Rio rolled up in a yellow Lamborghini convertible with 560 horsepower and worth $275,000. Big Show lumbered down to the cage, favoring injuries. The match started with Big Show in control. When he ran at Del Rio in the corner though, Del Rio moved. Del Rio then delivered a series of kicks to Big Show’s knee and head. Del Rio went for a near fall, but Big Show threw Del Rio halfway across the ring to get out of it. Del Rio then locked in a leg lock on Big Show and held it while Mark Henry came down to the ring. Big Show gained back some momentum until Del Rio DDT’d Big Show. Del Rio then tried to climb out of the ring in the corner, but Show easily stopped him. Big Show then threw Del Rio into another corner. Then, the Big Show climber to the second rope and delivered a superplex on Del Rio. At
this point, Mark Henry ripped the cage door off of its hinges as Del Rio and Big Show tried to recover. Henry dragged the cage door into the cage and kicked Big Show in the head. Del Rio crawled his way to the door and out to the floor. Winner by escaping the cage: Alberto Del Rio.

In the post-match, Mark Henry, holding the cage door, ran at Big Show who was sandwiched between the ropes and the cage. The impact broke the side-panel off of the cage and sent Big Show crashing down to the floor. Mark Henry then angrily taunted an unconscious Big Show and verbally menaced the referees. Mark Henry then exchanged words with the fans (didn’t he get in trouble for doing that on an overseas WWE trip last year?)

Kelly Kelly v. Nikki Bella (Submission match)

Booker T did the spin-arooni for the match stipulation…a submission match. Nikki began the match by working Kelly Kelly’s arm, and it looked like she was trying to rip Kelly Kelly’s arm from its socket. Kelly fought back with a series of elbows. Kelly Kelly then had some trouble cinching in a Boston Crab and appeared to slip backwards while cinching it in…maybe over-cinching it. I hope for Nikki’s sake that her back is that flexible, because Kelly Kelly botching a move in that manner is dangerous. Oh yeah, Nikki tapped-out. Winner by submission: Kelly Kelly.

In the post-match, Brie came in and attacked Kelly Kelly, but Eve came in to even the odds for Kelly Kelly.

After commercial, there was a video package updating the WWE Universe on the progress of Tough Enough winner “Silent Rage” Andy Leavine, including snippets of him training and commentary by him, by Ricky Steamboat, and Dusty Rhodes.

At the wheel, Booker T stood with Rey Mysterio. Rey spun a “tornado match,” which means that all four men of the tag-team match are in the ring at the same time.

Booker T turned around…and in came Diamond Dallas Page plugging the new WCW’s Greatest Matches DVD, which he hosts. As the two WCW stars reminisced, in came Drew McIntyre (really nice to see you, Drew!!!), who made the justified complaint that old-timers keep stealing HIS TV time. Drew recommended they leave, or else they’ll be carted out on stretchers. Boom, sudden sweet chin music to Drew from Shawn Michaels. Michaels wanted a copy of the DVD because he never saw any of those matches while they happened because he was working.

Rey Mysterio and Alex Riley v. The Miz and Jack Swagger (Tornado match)

This match was unbelievably awesome. I was able to keep up with the play-by-play of the first half of the match, but it just got crazy in the second half, and I watched and re-watched on DVR a few times. There was just too much going on to process. The match was not rushed like a TNA match, but it was very fast-paced, as all four men were constantly involved in the action. This match was as good as last week’s Triple Threat match with Del Rio, Punk, and Mysterio.

Highlights of the match were these: A-Ri delivered a niiiice hip toss on the Miz from the top rope and earned a near-fall. Swagger gorilla-pressed Mysterio and dropped him onto the Miz’ knee for a mega-gut-buster. Near the end, A-Ri back-body dropped Swagger over the top rope and down to the floor. Miz knocked A-Ri out of the ring. Miz and Rey stood on the second rope. Rey blocked Miz’ attempts at a superplex and sent his to the floor on his back. Off the top rope, he landed on Miz’ chest. Rey then took it to the two heels. A-Ri delivered a spinebuster on Swagger, but the Miz broke up the two-count when A-Ri covered. Miz then delivered an inverted DDT on A-Ri and earned a near-fall. A-Ri then clothes-lined Miz out of the ring. Swagger then kicked Rey square in the face and went for a cover. Mysterio sold the move but amazingly kicked out. At this point in the match, there was ssooo much great back-and-forth among the four men. There
were attempted power moves and reversals, great saves by partners, and great double-teams. Swagger blocked the 619 and turned it into an ankle lock. The Miz held onto Rey’s head on the ropes while Swagger applied the hold. The match ended, however, with the following combo. While Miz was outside the ring and away from the action, Rey hit a 619 on Swagger. A-Ri delivered an Impaler DDT to Swagger. Rey from the top rope hit his straight splash on Swagger and earned the pinfall. Winners by pinfall: Rey Mysterio and Alex Riley.

Backstage, Booker T asked R-Truth if he wanted to spin the wheel. R-Truth answered the question with a question, “Is fatback greasy?” R-Truth spun and landed on a Tables Match. Truth was satisfied with the result and began talking to himself about Little Jimmies. Booker T asked him to leave and, when Truth would not leave, Booker left.

John Cena v. R-Truth (Tables match)

First off (and I did write this before the match started), Tables matches are stupid because they’re only done so that a heel can beat a super-face without the super-face actually being pinned or submitting (Sheamus taking the WWE Title from Cena, Miz defeating Randy Orton).

R-Truth started as the aggressor and worked over Cena. Cena reversed an Irish whip into the corner and delivered a nice suplex. Cena then left the ring to fetch a table. Truth followed Cena out of the ring and delivered some shots. Truth then dragged Cena in the ring and stretched Cena’s arms as the crowd did that dueling chant “Let’s Go Cena…Cena SUCKS!” Cena then attempted the AA, but Truth executed what started like a suplex but ended like a Stunner. Truth then left the ring to fetch a table and brought it into the ring and slowly set it up upright in the corner. Truth then attempted a suplex into the table, but Cena reversed it and suplexed him across the ring. Truth ran at Cena, but Cena pulled down the top rope, sending Truth out to the floor. Cena then brought a table from the entrance ramp and brought it into the ring and set it up on all fours. Cena thought of delivering an Attitude Adjustment to Truth. As he set up the
move, CM Punk came to the ring and moved the table. When Cena delivered the Attitude Adjustment, it was to the mat…not to the table. Cena then ran out to the floor and delivered punches to Punk. Cena dragged Punk into the ring lifted him for an Attitude Adjustment…but R-Truth delivered a spear to Cena through the table, breaking the table in half and leaving Cena’s broken body lying there. Winner: R-Truth.

CM Punk grabbed the microphone, as Cena still was laid out on the table in the corner. Punk took the microphone and walked up the entrance ramp and said that he had many things to get off his chest. Punk said that he likes Cena more than he likes others in the back. Punk said he hates the idea of Cena as the best…because Punk is the best. Punk said that Cena is better than him at kissing McMahon’s ass. Cena is as good at Hogan at kissing McMahon’s ass…but not as good as the Rock. Punk said he is the best wrestler in the world and has been since day one. Paul Heyman saw something in him. He was a Heyman guy, just like Brock Lesnar was. Unlike Lesnar, though, Punk was going to leave on top as the WWE Champion. Punk said that he might bring his championship to New Japan Pro-Wrestling or to Ring of Honor. Punk did a real Festivus Airing of Grievances at McMahon and the fans. Punk was pissed that The Rock will be in next year’s
Wrestlemania main event. Also, the WWE never got behind Punk as much as it should have and promoted Punk with cups and magazine covers and movies, like it did with Cena. The fans were blameworthy for buying all of the Cena merchandise and hunting Punk down at airports at 5:30am to sign magazine covers that don’t even feature his likeness. When Punk is gone, the wheel will keep turning. McMahon is a millionaire who should be a billionaire if he wasn’t surrounded by yes-men like John Laurinaitis. (I have never heard anyone mention Laurinaitis’ name on the program as part of storyline discussion or promo-talk. I’m willing to bet that it was the mention of this name that led to the plug being pulled a short moment later) Punk wondered aloud if the WWE will be better off when McMahon is dead but then concluded that it would not…because the WWE will be taken over by McMahon’s idiot daughter and his doofus son-in-law. Then…the microphone
was cut off. AWESOME promo!!!! The crowd booed, maybe because of what Punk was saying or maybe because they wanted to hear more but were not able to. The camera cut off of a frustrated Punk and showed Cena, who was still in the ring trying to recover from the R-Truth spear. And the credits began to roll.

Follow me on Twitter @VanillaMandarin

Source: wrestlingtruth.com