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June 8, 2011 – Day Ten: Favorite TNA Match // A Song That Makes Me Fall Asleep

June 4, 2011 – Day Six:

Favorite Finishing Maneuver

I'll be honest with you guys. My first gut reaction to this was the same as Hustle's – The Powerbomb. I have always loved that move and have legit used it before and it can be quite devastating. However, there are two reasons that I am not going to go that route here. First, Hustle already posted some great vids of powerbomb action so it would be a tad redundant. Second, there are so many different varieties that I find it hard to categorize them all together, and some I like more than others. My favorites are probably Undertaker's Last Ride and Ahmed Johnson's Pearl River Plunge, but there are so many good ones I decided to avoid using it and look deeper for another option. When I did that, I remembered the one finishing move that I like better than the powerbomb.

The Diamond Dust

This might be a move that not a lot of people are familiar with, but The Diamond Dust is legitimately the only finishing move I have ever seen that made me jump and cringe at the same time. Everyone here has presumably seen a Stone Cold Stunner before, and we all know how the impact is felt across the throat as it drops across the shoulder of the person delivering it. To put a little physics into play here, the real impact is proportional not only to the mass of the person being dropped by it (the stunee), but also to the momentum of the person delivering (the stunner). This momentum can be quite high when the stunner is a guy the size and build of Steve Austin.

Now, enter Masato Tanaka – the innovator of the Diamond Dust and all around badass mofocka. Tanaka is 2 inches shorter and about 15 pounds lighter than Austin, but at 6'0" and 238 lbs. is certainly not small by any stretch (and gigantic for a Jap). Taking a Stunner from this guy would certainly not be a pleasant experience, much the same as if you took one from Austin. Now, imagine taking this Stunner business one step further, and instead of hitting it from a standing position, delivering it with the addition of a flip off the ropes. Looking back at physics again, this adds a shit-ton more momentum to the maneuver than a simple stunner. Go back and watch that video again and you'll see what I mean.

When I first saw that move, I about lost it. I had never seen anything reach out and grab me like that, and in all honesty I haven’t since. Sure, there have been some high spots or single instances that have been OMG moments, but folks, Masato Tanaka hits this every match. And he always hits it well, and it always looks amazing. It's also incredibly realistic. If someone did that to you in real life, you sure as shit wouldn't be getting up for a while. If ever. I can't think of another move, including the powerbomb, that has as much of a "wow" factor as this one does. So please, give that video another 6 or 7 views and let it really sink in. Tanaka is the man, and this is the move.

Honorable Mentions: The Pedigree (<3 HHH), The Crippler Crossface, The Pearl River Plunge

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A Song That Reminds Me Of Somewhere

"Mikan no Uta" by Sex Machineguns

Alright, I decided to go with this one for a few reasons. First of all, I will be incredibly fucking surprised if you've heard of this band, let alone this song. Sex Machineguns is a Metal band out of Japan, and though they look weird as fuck, they have some decent music. Second, the whole point of doing this challenge was to give a bit of a different spin on things, so this song fit in perfectly for that. Lastly, with my upcoming move back to the United States, I'm beginning to wax nostalgic about my time here in Japan.

This song reminds me of the city in which I currently live – Matsuyama, Japan. Matsuyama is in Ehime Prefecture, and the singer of Sex Machineguns is from Ehime. He wrote this song specifically about this area, and it is quite popular here because of that. However, this song isn't exactly about the area. You see, Ehime Prefecture is very famous for its tangerines. They were cultivated and presented as gifts to royalty throughout Asia for centuries, and they were known for being the best tasting tangerines in the world. I've had some, and I'd be inclined to agree, quite honestly.

So what does that have to do with this song? Well, the Japanese word for these tangerines is "mikan." This song is called "Mikan no Uta" which literally translates to "Song of the Tangerine."

A Metal song about Tangerines?

A Metal song about Tangerines.

Specifically a Metal song about how the Tangerines from Ehime are the best in the world and everyone knows it. In the choruses where they are screaming out "Mikan! Mikan! Mikan!" they are literally cheering for a fruit. The best part about this song, though? Hearing my 55 year old boss, who is the traditional stoic elder Japanese statesman, rocking this song at Karaoke. He. Knew. All. The. Words. Sometimes Japan can be pretty fucking weird and cool all at the same time. Though I'll be glad to be heading back home, I'll definitely miss it here when I'm gone. Cheers, Matsuyama! MIKAN!!!

Honorable Mentions: "New York State Of Mind" by Billy Joel, "New York City Don't Mean Nothing" by Savatage, "Closing Time" by Semisonic

June 5, 2011 – Day Seven:

Worst Finishing Maneuver

There are a lot of moves that came flashing into my head when thinking about this topic. The Worm, of course, is a prime example of everything a finisher should NOT be. Hustle already spoke about that bad boy at length, though, so let's move on. If we look to the past, we have Lex Luger's Running Forearm that was supposed to be so effective because of a metal plate in his arm. Of course, anatomy doesn't work that way, and this was just a shitty move all around. On the present scene, we've got a move of epic shittiness in the form of Santino's Cobra. Sure, it's entertaining, but fuck. However, even considering these moves, there is one that stands head and shoulders above the rest as the worst finisher of perhaps the ever.

The People's Elbow

Now, don't get me wrong. The Rock is one of my favorite performers of all time. I think there are few people as capable as him when it comes to just about all aspects of the wrestling business. However, his finishing move just plain fucking sucks. It gets the crowd hyped up, for sure, but the move itself, if you take the time to see it for what it actually is, leaves a lot to be desired insofar as being a finisher is concerned.

First of all, the move suffers from a similar problem as The Worm, in that there is a ridiculously long set up time. If the opponent was sufficiently incapacitated for long enough to allow the Rock to play up to the fans, look around the arena, take off his elbow pad, toss it to the fans, do that weird arm crossing thing, bounce off of the ropes, jump over the opponent, bounce off the other set of ropes, come running up to the opponent, do some sort of action meant to mock his opponent, and then finally hit them with a weak standing elbow drop, then chances are the Rock really didn't need to waste all that time and could have pinned them beforehand.

Aside from the amount of overtime required for the set up, there's the actual move itself. We are not talking about a flying elbow, or a diving elbow, or even an elbow smash to the face. We are talking about a dude standing over a prone opponent, and hitting them in the side of the chest with a falling elbow. Sure, the mass of the wrestler can lead to that being a potentially painful blow, but is it really FINISHER painful? When you consider moves like the DDT, F-5, Stunner, or even the Rock Bottom, I would have to answer a firm "Hell No" to that question.

I know the crowd gets hot for The People's Elbow (and The Worm and The Cobra for that matter), but that still doesn't change the fact that, as a finishing maneuver, The People's Elbow is weak as fuck, and just doesn't have the kind of impact that should come to expect from a potential finishing maneuver. I mean, hell, even Cena hits the AA after that weak-as-fuck Five Knuckle Shuffle bullshit. Come on, Rock. You can do better.

Honorable Mentions: The Worm, The Cobra, Lex Luger's Running Forearm

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A Song That Reminds Me Of A Certain Event

"Hey Leonardo" by Blessid Union Of Souls

When my wife and I started dating, I heard this song in passing once, and it was just perfect to describe us and our relationship. I made a joke about how it should be "our song" and she kind of shook her head and smiled. I dug the song enough that I started singing it out at karaoke, and of course always dedicating it to her when she was around, which wasn't very often. In fact, we were married for over a year before we ever lived together because she was finishing grad school in Ohio while I was doing so in New York. So, when we were together, this was always my dedication to her.

Then I took it one step further. As I mentioned, I was singing this fairly regularly at karaoke, and as you already know by now, I am a massive karaoke addict. So, I did what anyone in my position would have done…

That's right, folks. I asked my wife to marry me at a karaoke bar by changing the lyrics to that song into a marriage proposal. I am one seriously classy mother fucker, if I do say so myself. Which I do.

To say I was nervous the whole time I was up there would be an understatement, which is weird for me because I'm not a stage fright kind of guy. Thinking about it afterward, I am really glad she said yes, because that shit could have been embarrassing as hell, what with being all in public and whatnot. Luckily, for some strange reason, she did decide to say yes, and the last couple of years have been sheer awesomeness in a bottle. She joked to me afterward that I did that just so I could make sure that would be "our song." Whether or not it has that official status, every time I hear "Hey Leonardo" I think of my wife, and I think of that night in Albany when I asked her for the future, and she gave it to me with both hands.

Honorable Mentions: "Turn The Page" by Metallica (youth group installation), "Sister" by The Nixons (sister's graduation), "The Candle Song" by Ugly Kid Joe (singing my newborn daughter to sleep in the hospital)

June 6, 2011 – Day Eight:

Worst Botch Of All Time

Wow, there are a lot of different ways this can be taken. For me, personally, there are three things that stand out to me as the worst botches of all time, and in all reality either of them could take the top slot from me. However, I can't find video of Droz breaking his neck against D-Lo Brown, which is an injury that has left him paralyzed, and I am pretty sure everyone has seen the video of Sid breaking his leg off the second rope, which was just sickening to watch. Therefore, I will give the third one in my pool the honor of Worst Botch Of All Time.

Kurt Angle vs. Shane McMahon @ King of the Ring 2001 – The Glass Suplexes

First of all, you should know that this was an amazing match, as the highlights in this video show, which is all the more amazing considering one of the two participants isn't really a wrestler by trade. If you haven't seen the match in its entirety, I suggest you seek it out and do so. Kurt Angle's trademark intensity is on full display here, and Shane McMahon's legendary willingness to bump like a rag doll is equally showcased. Excellent by any standards.

I remember watching this match on Pay Per View and thinking just how damn good it was. Then they started to work their way up the ramp. Starting at about 2:27 in the video, you will see what transpired. When Angle grabbed Shane in the bear hug position, I was like "Holy Shit! He's going to throw him through the- HOLY SHIT!" The planned gimmick of suplexing Shane through the glass on the stage went horribly wrong when the glass didn't break, and Shane went crashing to the floor, landing all of his weight on his head and neck. I thought for sure he had broken his neck because he was just dead weight for a while.

Then, in what was almost an unthinkable move to me at the time, they went for it again. I remember thinking that they were just fucking crazy at this point, and Shane was really looking to go out on a stretcher, if he was that lucky. Thankfully, the second time he went through as planned. But it wasn't finished there. The time had come for another suplex through the other glass panel back out onto the stage. This suplex met with the same result as the first, and I actually buried my head in my hands. I thought for sure Shane was done. Then Angle got him back up and tossed him head first through the plate. It was physically draining for me to just watch this match, let alone consider what it must have been like to go through it.

Afterwards, listening to Kurt talk about this match, and how Shane kept telling him to do it again and stick with the original plan, I gained a whole new level of respect for Shane-O-Mac. Any of those bumps could have led to serious injury, and he is lucky as hell he was able to walk out of that match with all his facilities still intact. The interesting thing about this botch is that it really wasn't the fault of either of the wrestlers in the match, but rather environmental factors beyond their control; as in glass panes that were too fucking strong to be used in a breakaway spot. I'm sure there have been worse botches in wrestling, but this is the one that I saw that had the greatest effect on me personally, and so it gets this dubious honor. Props to Shane for living to tell the tale.

Honorable Mentions: Droz Breaks Neck vs. D-Lo Brown, Benoit Breaks Sabu's Neck in ECW, Sid Breaks His Leg Off Second Rope, Every Time Billy Kidman Attempts The Shooting Star Press

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A Song I Know All The Words To

Christ, this could be a list upwards of 1000 if I let it. Hell, even if I used only songs I have done at karaoke, the list would be close to 500. I suppose I'll go with the one that surprises most folks when I rock it at karaoke…

"Butterfly" by Crazy Town

Yes, Hustle. A bona fide rap song. I've always dug this song, since I first got the album shortly after it dropped. I forgot about it for a while, until I met my wife. I called her my Butterfly, and it kind of stuck. She likes butterflies, so I got her a butterfly necklace, and I played this song for her and… let's just say she liked it. So, I started to listen to it more frequently and fortuitously enough, it turned out that the place I frequented for karaoke had it in their database. I gave it a try, and shocked the hell out of a lot of people, especially considering my propensity for all things Metal. They weren't expecting me to pull out a rap song, let alone pull it off well.

Which I do. Very well.

I like pulling out some good rap songs every once in a while. I just wish there were more of them, since most rap songs suck worse than cancer of the nuts. I dig on Ice Ice Baby, Gangsta's Paradise, Mr. Wendal, and Things That Make You Go Hmmm, and shit like that. However, I think all of those are a bit easier in the flow than Butterfly (and also a hell of a lot older). So, listen to this song and imagine my overweight pasty ass rocking it like a boss. Like a BOSS.

Honorable Mentions: "One Week" by Barenaked Ladies, "Down With The Sickness" by Disturbed, "Garden Of Eden" by Guns N' Roses, "Walk" by Pantera

June 7, 2011 – Day Nine:

Funniest Wrestling Moment

So much humor, so little time. I am and have always been a huge fan of the use of comedy in wrestling. Perhaps it's the comic in me, having done stand up for a living in my sophomore year of college (not bad pay, but not as regular as one would hope), or perhaps it's because my sense of humor never really evolved beyond middle school. Whatever the reason may be, I am always ready, willing, and able to laugh at a well done comedy segment. Of course, the operative words there are "well done," and as we all know a lot of the comedy attempts on wrestling shows fall far short of actually being funny. At all. In any way.

However, the annals of successful wrestling comedy are incredibly large, and too numerous to count. It is difficult for me to pick a single moment as the funniest, because people like The Rock, Chris Jericho, Steve Austin, Mick Foley, and DX, among others, have done so much in the way of comedy that it becomes difficult to narrow it down. Al Snow coming out as different European stereotypes every week while European Champion was classic, as is Zack Ryder's YouTube stuff now. I don't know that anyone can ever top The Rock and his interactions as far as humor value goes, but if I take everything I have ever seen into account, there is always one little line that jumps to the front of my mind as being perhaps the funniest thing I have EVER heard:

"I don't know. I don't speak Spanish."

Stone Cold and Tazz Backstage

For those of you who don't know the history of this one, Austin had joined forces with the Alliance against the Vince McMahon-led WWF. In a series of segments over the weeks leading up to this one, he would stop and listen to his watch, and then he would announce to the gathered members of the Alliance what time his watch said it is. "Time to whoops Vince's Ass," or something along those lines, but usually funnier.

When Austin told Tazz he doesn't speak Spanish, I about fucking lost it. On the surface, it may not seem like that funny of a line, but considering the way Austin had been using his watch in recent weeks, he was basically telling Tazz he was a nobody with a cheap knock off watch, and with excellent comic timing, which is EVERYTHING in comedy. When I think back over all the countless hours of wrestling I have seen, that line stands out to me as being the time I laughed the hardest. Goldust's line about offering Booker T a bite of his weiner in the segment I posted under Favorite Tag Team is up there too, but this one just takes the cake. WHAT?

Honorable Mentions: The Rock and Hurricane Backstage (The Scorpion King has a tiny dingaling!), Perry Saturn After The Head Injury (the Moppy Era), Just About Anything by The BookDust

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A Song I Can Dance To

First, let me begin by saying that white dudes should never dance. Ever. Especially when they are overweight white dudes. It takes next to a god damn miracle to get me out onto any sort of dance floor. Even slow dancing at weddings and shit makes me uncomfortable. However, there are a handful of tunes out there that have actually inspired my no-rhythm-having-white-boy ass out onto the dance floor, though none more than this one.

"Electric Head Part 2" by White Zombie

Now many of you might see that this song is by White Zombie and think I'm fucking crazy, but go ahead and click play on that bad boy. One thing that always stood out to me about White Zombie was their rhythms and their drummer. This is one of the few metal bands that consistently put out danceable beats. Just listen to the riff and the back beat under it and tell me you can't imagine dancing to it on the floor.

This trait of danceable beats is one of the primary reasons that I am sad White Zombie never really got back together after Rob took a solo hiatus. Even though Rob's first couple of solo efforts had the same drummer, it just wasn't really the same after that. There was something about that magical mix of people that produced some of the greatest Metal-driven dance beats in the history of the ever. R.I.P., White Zombie. Now let's all go shake our asses in honor of your greatness. Rock it.

Honorable Mentions: "Harder To Breathe" by Maroon 5, "Faded" by SoulDecision (yes, really), "Ninja Rap" by Vanilla Ice

June 8, 2011 – Day Ten:

Favorite TNA Match

Remember back when TNA was good? No really, it was. Here's a prime example.

America's Most Wanted vs. XXX @ Turning Point 2004

This cage match- I mean Six Sides of Steel Match –was one of the best matches I have ever seen, and is certainly my favorite TNA match. I am a huge fan of tag team wrestling, and back in 2004, there was a major focus on the Tag Division in TNA. As a prime example, despite no titles being on the line, this match was the Main Event of that pay per view. This rivalry between America's Most Wanted and XXX had turned into an absolute blood feud, and the result was this being the final blow off match in their feud. The winning team would continue dominating the Tag Team Division in TNA, and the losers would be forced to disband forever. The stakes were high in this match, and they seriously delivered.

The action is great from start to finish, but second half of the match is what makes this my favorite TNA match. So many great moves, so much great action and storytelling, and just a perfect example why the company's name of Total Non-Stop Action USED to be appropriate. You could feel the emotion pouring forth from Daniels as he watched helplessly as AMW hit Skipper with the PowerPlex, XXX’s own finishing move, and picked up the pin for the win and sealed the fates of XXX. This was an absolutely phenomenal match, and all four men left their hearts and souls in that ring. When someone talks about how TNA used to be good, this is the kind of shit they mean. Just a flat out excellent match, and the beginning of my bromance with Christopher Daniels.

Honorable Mentions: Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe @ Unbreakable 2005, Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle vs. Christian Cage @ No Surrender 2008, Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin vs. AJ Styles in Ultimate X @ Final Resolution 2005

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A Song That Makes Me Fall Asleep

"Walking And Thinking" by Ra

Finally, Ra makes the number one pick for me in one of these categories. If you've been paying attention, you've already seen this band pop up in the honorable mentions of a couple of previous categories, and with damn good reason. Ra may not have as extensive an audio library as a lot of the other bands I've discussed, but they are most assuredly entrenched in the short list of my favorite bands. The lyrics and musicianship are top notch, and the singer has a very melodic voice capable of many different styles.

This song, though, is one of my favorites of theirs. The message is sort of dark and brooding, and the music fits the feel so well that it can paint a picture all its own. However, the pacing of the song, the melody they use, and the skillful use of background distortions late in the song are a perfect recipe for shipping Morpheus off to the Dream Realm after a few plays on repeat.

I am a pretty high strung dude, and it takes a lot for me to be able to fall asleep most nights, so it is a huge testament to the soothing qualities of this song that I am able to do so with such ease. Usually, listening to music becomes counterproductive for me when trying to fall asleep, because I find myself following along with the lyrics or the music and can't fall asleep. However, this song manages to break through that wall and relzx me right to my core. Awesome song from an awesome band. Period.

Honorable Mentions: "Epiphany" by Staind, "If I Could Fly" by Helloween (yes, really), "The Dreamtime" by Ayreon

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