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AT & T CENTER, SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS

Welcome from San Antonio, where we shall see, amongst other bouts, if Zig-Swag can become tag champions, John Cena can re-take the WWE championship for the eleventh time, and if Mark Henry can continue to fill his self-proclaimed ‘Hall of Pain’. On commentary tonight we have Michael Cole, Booker T and Jerry Lawler – presumably he’s better now after being planted through the announcer’s table the other week.

WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: JACK SWAGGER & DOLPH ZIGGLER (W/ VICKIE GUERRERO) VS. AIR BOOM (KOFI KINGSTON & EVAN BOURNE) (CHAMPIONS)
No sooner has Justin Roberts begun the introductions for the opening bout, than Wicked Witch of the WWE, Vickie Guerrero comes out to her ear-piercing shout of “excuse me!!!” to make her own intro’s for her current stable. Dolph appears to have had another hair-cut, and both men are decked out in red, white and blue kit. Air Boom, who together weigh less than Mark Henry, come down to what should have been a rapturous reception, but the crowd seem rather subdued. The referee, who looks like the lead singer from Maroon Five, shows us the tag team gold, and we’re set to go. Kingston and Ziggler kick things off, with Ziggler looking to contest two bouts on the trot, with his US title defence straight after this match. Ziggler grounds Kofi and locks in some technical moves, before Kingston breaks free and catches him with a nice flying forearm and monkey flip that sends Ziggler somersaulting across the ring. There’s a near fall, before Kofi tags in Evan. Ziggler is back on top, and in comes Swagger. He’s immediately sunset-flipped for a two count. Kofi is tagged in, and hits a nice double-team mule kick move off the top rope. There’s lots of quick tags from the champions, and a good looking double dropkick to a floored Swagger. Swagger goes down under a double bulldog from Air Boom, and Swagger is looking in need of tagging his partner. Swagger catches Kofi off the top rope and slams him down, allowing Ziggler to come in for some action. A nice standing dropkick from Ziggler results in a two-count, and Ziggler tries to slow things down with an arm-lock. He certainly needs to conserve his energy for the tiresome Zack Ryder, who could do a bit of a ‘Money In The Bank’ and take advantage of Ziggler if he’s sufficiently worn down. Swagger is back in now, and shoulder charges Kofi, before cutting him off and slapping a headlock on one half of the champs. Kofi reverses, and dives over to tag in Bourne, who lands a flurry of nice kicks before taking out Ziggler. He gets a two count after another evil looking kick to the face. Vickie goads Bourne as he mounts the turnbuckle, and goes to hit Airbourne. Swagger gets his knees up though, and both men need to tag out. Ziggler gets in first, and there’s a two count from the resulting pin. Ziggler is battering Bourne in his own corner and applies yet another arm-based submission while Vickie screeches on. Bourne reverses Ziggler’s submission into a pin, but he can’t get any purchase. Swagger is tagged in, and hits some stomps on the smaller man. He flattens him with a running body splash off the ropes, and it seems the crowd haven’t really woken up yet – it seems unnaturally quiet in the arena. Swagger goes to knock Kofi off the apron, but Bourne takes advantage and rolls up Swagger for another two. Swagger is sent to the outside, which gives Bourne a chance to try and tag Kofi in. Swagger pulls him off the apron however, and Zig-Swag double team Bourne illegally as Kofi tries to protest. Bourne is looking quite worn out now, but then again, Ziggler must be feeling it now as well. Swagger grinds his weight into Bourne’s stomach, but Bourne fights back, only to be comprehensively slammed to the mat. Swagger tries another body splash off the turnbuckles, but has his jaw jacked by Bourne as his knees come up. Kofi now gets tagged in, and opens up on Ziggler. He is shoved to the corner, and takes both Swagger and Ziggler out, before hitting a massive cross-body on Ziggler for the closest fall of the match yet. He’s fired up though, and hits a Boom Drop before signalling for his finisher. Ziggler gets wearily up, but as he goes for it, he modifies it into the SOS. Swagger breaks up the pin, and Ziggler manages to roll Kofi up for another near fall. Kofi floors Ziggler with a big kick, and Bourne hits Airbourne for a cover, and the 1-2-3! Air Boom are your winners!
WINNERS: AIR BOOM (TITLES RETAINED)

WWE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: ZACK RYDER VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER (CHAMPION) (W/ VICKIE GUERRERO AND JACK SWAGGER)
Ziggler certainly didn’t want to end the last match in the position he did, lying on his face in the corner of the ring, as he now has to defend his United States title! With Air Boom still in the ring, Ryder’s music hits, and possibly the most irritating superstar in WWE at the moment, Zack Ryder, emerges. Ziggler still isn’t on his feet, but manages to get to a vertical base in readiness for the match. Vickie is still at ringside, and Ryder goads him to get involved in the match. Ziggler charges him, but Ryder takes full control and lays into the current champion. Air Boom watch on from the ramp way, as Ryder takes a close fall. Ziggler is thrown to the turnbuckle and pinned again, but Ryder can’t end it. Ziggler fights back with a neck breaker, and both men are down. Swagger is also still at ringside, and eggs on the champion who slithers out the ring for some respite. Air Boom stalk him, and grab Ziggler before tossing him back in the ring. No disqualification is awarded however, but the referee does send Air Boom to the locker room. Ziggler is practically out of it, and Ryder is waiting to begin his assault again, which he does, landing a big flapjack move for a two count. Ryder misses a body splash and hits the ropes, hurting himself, giving Ziggler a chance to regroup. Ziggler gets up first and hits some stomps, before arrogantly flicking sweat onto Ryder and getting a close fall. He gets an arm-bar going on, but I doubt even Ryder will tap to this. I was wrong about Ziggler having a haircut, he just had it slicked back, I fear. Ziggler slams Ryder down, but can’t get the match won. He hits a move remarkably similar to the Stinger Splash on a hapless Ryder, who is crawling to the ropes. Ziggler goes for another splash, but misses, only to avoid Ryder who tries to land a big boot on Ziggler in the corner. Ziggler hits a Fameasser leg-drop, but again it’s only a two! Ryder has lost a lot of his momentum now, and Ziggler traps him in the corner with some kicks. Ryder hits a big knee to floor Ziggler, then practically takes his head off with a shot to the head. Swagger tries to interfere by grabbing Ryder’s leg, which he shakes off. Ziggler misses a Zigzag, but as Ryder turns around, Ziggler annihilates Ryder with a super kick, to take the match via pinfall! A big well done to Ziggler, he can go and have a well deserved bath now!
WINNER: DOLPH ZIGGLER (TITLE RETAINED)

Not an overly successful night for camp Guerrero, but one win out of two will have to do. We’re backstage with CM Punk and Triple H, who have a bit of a chat about what has to be done and how Punk may have felt in the past that Trips was trying to screw him over. They need to know they’re on the same page – I think they might be, if only for tonight. I do like Punk’s t-shirt, I must get one of those. We get some outdoor footage of San Antonio – it does look rather nice there. Michael Cole thinks he sees Jim Ross on the back of the boat, and says that’s what he’s doing for a living now. I thought he was going to make some jibe about his weight, but he reigns it in.

WWE DIVA’S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: EVE TORRES VS. BETH PHOENIX (CHAMPION)
Ah, another Diva’s match! I can’t wait! Is it me, or is the Diva’s championship being defended more often than the Intercontinental belt recently? We’re treated to a taped segment from earlier, where Natalya and Beth attack Barbie Barbie (um, Kelly Kelly) before Eve breaks it up and there’s generally a lot of screaming and hormones going off. I do like Beth Phoenix, I’d certainly not f*** with her. She’s like a modern day Chyna for God’s sake. We can only hope for a Kharma vs. Phoenix face off when she’s back from maternity. Eve Torres comes out, apparently dressed as a camp Xena: Warrior Princess. Shame Natalya isn’t accompanying Beth, I quite like her. Beth goes straight for Eve with the hair, and they lock up in the corner with Beth forcing Eve onto the top rope. Eve lands some unconvincing knees, and botches a flip into a pin attempt. Nice forearm from Beth for a two count. Eve kips up and does a rather delightful cartwheel to try and escape one of Beth’s moves. Lawler makes a remark about ‘granny panties’. Eve smacks Beth with a nice roundhouse kick, and seems to be trying to take her skirt off. But no, she’s wrapped what seems to be her belt around her wrists and has tied her to the ropes! She then kicks her butt several times, before Beth escapes. She slips to the outside, and then takes Eve’s legs out when she follows. Beth lifts Eve clean off the apron and drops her on the guardrail before landing some kicks and tossing her to the ring. Beth gets another two-count, before applying a submission move that looks about as painful as eating an ice lolly. Another close fall for Beth, who seems to be losing her patience a little. Beth puts Eve in another submission, and urges her to start crying. To egg her on, she begins slapping her back, but Eve snaps and lashes back at Beth and lands some big punches. She brings Beth to the mat, and hits a nice senton splash for a two count. Lawler asks Booker if he could imagine being married to Beth. Eve climbs on Beth’s shoulders and gets a sleeper style submission on, but Beth doesn’t look like tapping. She struggles to the ropes, and Eve is forced to release her. Eve slams Beth into the turnbuckle, but Beth pulls her head down onto the top rope, before setting her up for the Glam Slam. Eve reverses and gets a very close fall, and Eve floors the champion with a big kick. Eve clambers to the top and goes for a moonsault, but misses. Beth now picks Eve up again for the Glam Slam and this time, nails it. One pin-fall later, another title is retained!
WINNER: BETH PHOENIX (TITLE RETAINED)

Beth seems to be taunting Eve by stroking her cheek as she lies in the ring, and gloats a little before heading off with the title. Backstage, Matt Stryker has the Big Show, who seems to be in his pyjamas. Stryker is basically saying he doubts Big Show is prepared, but Show feels Mark Henry is the one who isn’t ready. It’s at this point the wife tells me she prefers my goatee to Big Show’s, which has flecks of grey hair in it. Has Big Show always had his beard? I don’t think he has, has he? I remember when he had long hair…God, that was ages back. Big Show threatens Stryker with a fist, and says “vengeance will be mine” before storming off. We get a trailer for the Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels DVD, which looks worth a punt if you like either of the featured wrestlers.

CHRISTIAN VS. SHEAMUS
Back to ringside, and we have arch-whinger, Mr. One More Match, Christian. I always want to know what he’s banging on about when he comes out of the locker room and appears to talk to everyone. This one has been ongoing for some weeks, culminating most recently as Christian attacked Sheamus on Smackdown. I can’t say this one seems that much of a mystery – I think this will be a sure fire win for Sheamus, he just seems to have more going for him at the moment. Booker T shares my sentiments, and feels Sheamus will “mow this boy down!” Christian seems reluctant to enter the ring with the Celtic Warrior, but eventually does so, with the referee holding Sheamus back. This is like that time Big Boss Man refused to enter the Royal Rumble…we lock up, and Christian goes for a slap to Sheamus’ face. Sheamus shoves him back, then goes to ground and slams him down with authority, before missing an elbow drop. He’s back on it with a strong shoulder block though, and a barrage of punches and kicks in the corner that nearly sees him disqualified. It seems Christian’s entire offence revolves around slapping people, and for his troubles, he’s placed over the ropes and has his chest battered by the Irishman. TO add insult to injury, Christian is then suplexed back into the ring, after being held vertically for about twenty seconds. Cole seems to have genned up on his Irish mysticism history, as he’s going on about war cries and battle traditions left right and centre. Christian is taking control now, landing a neck breaker, then forces Sheamus back into a corner, only to see him fight back again. Christian chokes Sheamus out on the ropes, before Sheamus pounds his shoulder into his midriff repeatedly. Christian avoids a shoulder charge and rolls up Sheamus for a near fall. He lands some elbows to the head, and tries to keep Sheamus down with a chin-lock. Sheamus powers out, but takes more than a few moments getting to his feet. Christian again has Sheamus on the ropes and stands on his back to wear him down. He climbs the second rope and gets a two count after a back elbow drop. On the ropes again, Christian hits a textbook dropkick, then climbs the ropes a third time. This time though, he misses a big head-butt, and Sheamus is back in the saddle. He has a violent look in his eyes, and floors Christian with a flurry of clotheslines. Christian jumps straight into a throwaway slam, which earns Sheamus a two count. Sheamus again tries to suplex Christian into the ring, but is sent over the top rope by the Canadian. Christian runs to meet Sheamus getting back in, but Sheamus meets him instead with a big shoulder charge for another two count. Christian wriggles out of a gorilla press slam, and hits inverted DDT, but Sheamus can’t be put away. Christian awaits Sheamus getting to his feet, but the bigger man tries to manoeuvre him for the Celtic Cross. He can’t do it however, and drags him into the middle of the ring for a cover. Christian tries to hit the Kill Switch, but Sheamus reverses into the Celtic Cross, but again cannot hit it. Christian is on the middle rope, but again jumps straight into a punishing back-breaker from Sheamus for another two count. Despite his control, he just can’t hit the winning shot. Sheamus psyches himself up for the Brogue Kick, but Christian hits a spear out of nowhere, for yet another close fall. Christian is battered in the head by Sheamus, who then climbs the ropes himself. Christian pushes him down and slaps him while he’s on the top rope. He nails a hurricanrana off the top rope, and aims to go for a match finishing spear, but this time Sheamus DOES hit the Brogue Kick, and levels Christian for the pin-fall victory!
WINNER: SHEAMUS

A nice win for Sheamus, even if he took his sweet time getting there. Perhaps now Sheamus can get back into contending for the WWE title again? Backstage, David Otunga is with John Laryngitis, who are joined by Miz and R-Truth. They thank Laryngitis for reinstating them, and how he’s doing a much better job at managing Raw than Triple H did. Truth says he’s heard some rumours, and wants to know why they were reinstated. Laryngitis says they have potential to be the world’s best tag team, then changes his mind and says he just likes the way they suck up…Truth then says he can suck up a lot better than Miz, which they then argue about. They agree that neither of them suck as bad as Triple H – they’re starting to sound a bit like Beavis & Butthead now. They then say CM Punk sucks so bad that Booker T says he’s a ‘SUUUCKAAAAAA!’ – my God, who wrote this drivel? We get a little ‘DID YOU KNOW’ fact as well, which tells us Survivor Series 2011 sold out in less than 90 minutes! Bad luck if you didn’t get tickets, folks.

TRIPLE H & CM PUNK VS. THE MIZ & R-TRUTH
OK, let’s see what happens here. I’d like to see Punk and Miz come out together, but I don’t think that’ll happen. Also, when are Miz and Truth going to use their ‘Awesome Truth’ tag team name? That’s brilliant! We get a rather lengthy highlight recap of the events leading to this tag contest, before Miz and Truth make their way out to their new ‘remix’ – basically Truth’s old entrance music but with “you suck!” added instead of “wassup?” It’s mildly entertaining, but rather embarrassing at the same time. They’re interrupted by Punk’s entrance theme, and as I thought they’re coming to the ring separately. Does anyone else feel this ought to have been a no holds barred match? You know, considering how much Punk and Triple H wanted to get their hands on the pair? At the very least, make it Tornado Tag rules! Incidentally, have you heard William Shatner’s version of Triple H’s entrance theme on Youtube? It’s excellent, possibly better than the Motorhead version. It’s nice to see Trips still seems to have the ability to get the crowd going, and that he seems no different to when he’d swagger to the ring back in the early 2000s. Punk and Miz will see us off here. This is a nice way to begin, with both men roughly the same size, and it’s a quick witted opening, with Triple H slapping Miz in the head and allowing Punk to take the advantage. Triple H is tagged in straight away, and in comes R-Truth, who tries to stare HHH out. The crowd are most definitely behind HHH/Punk however, and Truth looks quite scared. HHH hits a big shoulder charge, sending Truth recoiling. They lock up again, but it’s HHH who lands the heavier blows, before Truth showboats a bit and gets punched in the chest to send him to the floor. HHH gives him a D-X taunt and tags in Punk, who can only get a one count after flooring Truth. Miz gets tagged in, and runs straight into a stretch submission from Punk. He slams Miz’s head into HHH’s boot, and they hit a nice double suplex on Miz. Miz tries to slam HHH down, but is put in the figure-four leg lock to huge ‘WOOOOOOO’ chants from the crowd. HHH grabs Punk’s hands for leverage, and they do it again while Truth tries to protest their dubious teamwork. For a third time, Punk and HHH work together, but Miz will not tap. Punk tags in after HHH releases the hold, and gets Miz on the ground in an arm-bar. For a team who are meant to be the fan favourites, they’re not employing very clean tactics. Miz gets a forearm in Punk’s face as he charges him in the corner, and Truth gets tagged in. As he sees to Punk, Truth tells various crowd members to shut up, as Punk gets to his feet and reverses a headlock into a backdrop to send both men down. Punk gets the tag first and HHH clears house, hitting a spinebuster and a knee-lift on Miz, before clotheslining both men clean out the ring. He pursues them, and slings Truth back in, before levelling Miz with some big blows. Truth baseball slides HHH to take him out, however. Truth comes out to work HHH on the outside, before he tosses him back in to stop the ref’s count. Miz tags in and goes mental, landing a huge number of kicks on HHH. Awesome Truth hit a double shoulder block for a two count, and Truth goes back to a front head-lock to wear down The Game. HHH fights his way out, but is caught off the ropes by a spinning forearm smash. Miz tags in once more, and they’re doing a decent containment job on HHH in the corner, before Miz hits a high knee and then a head-lock from behind. Punk can do little but look on and try and give some encouragement, but HHH once more tries to fight out of the hold. Miz hits his backbreaker/neck breaker combo, and stops HHH from crawling back to his partner. A double kick to the head earns Truth a two count, and then it’s back to the submission with Truth slapping a scissor hold on him with his legs. HHH manages to stand with Truth on his shoulders, before falling back to send both men to the canvas. Truth is nearer his corner, and tags Miz in first, but he is practically beheaded by a thunderous HHH clothesline. Again both men in the ring are down, and Miz tags Truth back in, but HHH hits big DDT and now must surely get the tag! Once more, Awesome Truth gets a tag but this time Punk gets in and unloads on both men. Truth gets a knee to the face, and as he bulldogs him, manages to clothesline Miz at the same time! Miz is slammed down as Punk seems to contemplate his next move. He goes up top, and kicks Truth away as he tries to interfere. HHH slings Truth out the ring and over the security barrier, as Punk hits a huge elbow drop off the top rope! He signals for the GTS, as HHH and Truth brawl on the outside. But out the crowd comes KEVIN NASH AGAIN and distracts HHH. Miz takes full advantage and hits the Skull Crushing Finale with some assistance from Truth as Miz gets the pin on him! Kevin Nash is mauling HHH now at ring side, throwing him into the ring steps before chucking him into the ring and landing some huge knees! He’s taking HHH apart now, and actually looks in good shape considering he’s still not wrestled properly since he came back. He hits a huge Jacknife Powerbomb on The Game and stalks his prey before leaving the ring with HHH folded up on the mat. Just as quickly as he appeared, he walks back through the crowd at a leisurely pace. Booker T tries to ask why he did what he did, but Nash continues his slow walk out the arena as HHH lies prone in the ring!
WINNERS: THE MIZ & R-TRUTH

Well that was unexpected. Not that Nash got involved, but that HHH and Punk lost! HHH is only just moving, and is accompanied from the ring with two referees. That powerbomb certainly looked painful; HHH seemed to land on the side of his head and walks away clutching his arm. Backstage, Laryngitis is with current WWE champion Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez, who has a lovely black eye. Laryngitis is saying something, but his voice is so husky I can’t tell what the bloody hell he’s on about. Probably that Del Rio ought not to lose against Cena. Ah, we get that great trailer for the WWE’s anti-bullying campaign, which even features former WCW champion David Arquette! After this, we’re treated to a mini-tour of Louis Tussaud’s in San Antonio, and see their waxworks of Undertaker, Cena and…um, The Predator from ummm…The Predator. Lovely stuff!

CODY RHODES VS. RANDY ORTON
As Orton is introduced, we get a recap of the events leading to this match, including Orton smacking Rhodes about the face with the ring bell, and Rhodes humiliating Orton with his paper bag routine. Rhodes comes down flanked by his baggers, and his title belt, which is not on the line tonight. But it should be. It’d be a return to the olden days when stars like Triple H won the IC title in 2001. Cole is still making a big deal of the “nine staples” Rhodes had in his head, and the face mask Rhodes STILL has on, which is surely pushing the boundaries of believability by now…Rhodes takes it to Orton early on, but is soon clotheslined out the ring and has his formerly pretty face bashed off the ring steps. Rhodes goes for his kick off the ropes, but Orton avoids him. Rhodes is using his quickness in this match so far, which seems to be holding him in good stead. Rhodes lands a nice inverted suplex, and then a knee drop to the back of the neck. Orton is battered in the corner, before Rhodes hits some knees to the midriff while bouncing him off the ropes. Booker T makes the statement that he can’t be great just because he’s brought back the old school white strapped Intercontinental championship. Lawler says he wouldn’t be champion if he didn’t have his mask which he uses as a weapon. Christ guys, what’s with the hating here? Rhodes is still in control, stomping Orton and leering at the crowd. Rhodes seems to be trying to put Orton in the Walls of Jericho submission, and does so! Orton looks to power out though, but can’t seem to. Eventually though, he manages to grab a leg and forces his way out. Orton is whipped to the corner, and reverses Rhodes’ charge into a pin. Orton opens up on Rhodes, before Rhodes manages to hit an Alabama Slam to get a two count. Rhodes complains about a slow count, but he should really be worrying about Orton, who can explode at a whim. He goes up top, and completely misses a moonsault, colliding with the floor quite hard. Orton slowly gets to his feet and stalks Rhodes, hitting him with clotheslines and a snap powerslam off the ropes. Rhodes stuns Orton with a quick punch, but is dropkicked out the air as he jumps off the top rope. Orton gets a two count, before he tries to hit a gutwrench powerbomb, only for Rhodes to hit his quick kick off the ropes for another near fall. Orton sets Rhodes up for his in-the-ropes DDT, before Rhodes counters and Orton counter-counters (!) into a back-breaker. Orton appears to be gearing up for a finisher of some sort, but first hits a gutwrench back-drop for a two. Orton seems frustrated at the counting, and measures Rhodes again, planting him on the turnbuckle. He hits some methodical punches, before going for a superplex. Rhodes knocks him off with a head-butt, and this time manages to land a moonsault on a standing Orton. He can’t put him away however, and goes back to the top AGAIN. He tries some sort of flying headbutt – although he appeared to jump OVER Orton, but soon manages to land the Cross Rhodes after one of his baggers tries to distract Orton – and Orton kicks out! Rhodes shouts in frustration, and slings himself to the floor and taunts Orton by copying his floor pounding in readiness for an RKO of his own, but Orton dropkicks him, then DDTs him from the ropes. Now Orton shows Rhodes how to do an RKO by pounding the floor! Orton throws Rhodes into his second bagger, who appears on the ring apron, and as Rhodes staggers back, gets caught out of nowhere with an RKO from the true master of the move for the pin-fall! I nearly forgot the Orton Beardwatch, but things appear to be going backwards, as it’s almost exactly the same as last month. If anything, he now appears to be rocking the Don Johnson designer stubble look now.
WINNER: RANDY ORTON

I guess that was necessary to get it all out of Orton’s system, but perhaps now he like Sheamus can get back to matters more important than former members of his stable. We get a trailer for The Rock’s big return match at Survivor Series – where it’s rumoured he’ll be teaming up with John Cena…didn’t see that coming. Recap time for Big Show vs. Sexual Chocolate, but you know all about why Big Show is challenging for the title, so I’ll fast-forward and get to the action itself.

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: BIG SHOW VS. MARK HENRY (CHAMPION)
Big Show comes out first, and he’s looking good for his first match in several months. I think it’s rather too soon for Big Show to suddenly become champion after so long without a singles title, but we’ll see how this plays out. Henry lumbers to the ring as menacing as ever – I wonder if he can put Big Show in the World’s Strongest Slam? He weighs more than Henry does, and he’s not faced a man heavier than him for a while. Don’t expect this one to get too technical, folks – this one should be all about power. Big Show begins hammering Henry with fists, and Henry is down and out the ring! He slaps the announcer desk in annoyance, as Big Show watches on, knowing he’s riled the champion. Henry seems to want the referee to get Show to back off, but the challenger charges him and pulls him back in the ring over the top rope. Show even lands a super kick which sees Henry scurry outside the ring again, perhaps in a bid to wind Big Show up. Henry asks the timekeeper for his belt back, and looks to leave the arena. Big Show stops him and gets him back in the ring, only to thunder towards Show and take his legs out. Henry body slams Big Show scarily easily, and hits a massive elbow to the back. Both men seem quite agile for their size, and now Show is clutching his leg again. Henry has certainly noticed this, and is now focusing his attacks on the area, dropping elbows on it and yanking it out of position in a submission move. These are good tactics from Henry – he has Big Show down and in pain, and the match could be shorter than we expect! I hope he doesn’t end up not being able to continue like he did in his match against Alberto Del Rio some time ago. Show twists all his weight and forces Henry out the move, but his leg gives out and Henry gets a near fall. Once more the champ goes back to the leg, slapping an ankle lock on him. Show refuses to tap however, and again forces Henry off. Both men get to their feet and rush each other, colliding in a HUGE double clothesline that lays both men out! Big Show bounced about a foot off the mat! Both men are on their knees now, exchanging big fists and head butts. Back on their feet, Big Show nails Henry with about seven head butts and then a massive clothesline. He charges Henry in the corner with a splash, and then hits a body slam of his own, before calling for a choke slam on the champion! He lands it, and goes for a cover, but Henry kicks himself out. Now Show is gearing up for his knockout blow, but Henry kicks him in the guts and instead lands the World’s Strongest Slam – and Big Show kicks out! Henry is distraught, and Show is not getting up easily. Seemingly out of ideas, Henry heads out of the ring and stands on the apron, before going to the top rope. Show is up however, and choke slams him right off the top! But this time Henry kicks out at two! Show looks to be in a lot of pain, and on the verge of tears himself! Show is now looking at the ropes himself, and gets out to ascend the turnbuckle. This time Henry catches him and climbs up with him. He goes for a superplex, which will surely destroy the ring if he hits it! AND IT DOES! As Show lands, the ring shudders and collapses as the far corner gives way and the ropes snap, leaving the ring on a dangerous slant! Both men are down and out of it, and the referee falls to the ground with the massive impact. Nobody seems sure what will happen next, but I imagine there will be some sort of double count-out…we have a doctor down now to check on Big Show, who appears to need assistance. Henry looks in better shape, but he’s still not moving that much. A stretcher is brought down for Big Show, but the doctor seems to be telling the medical dude that the stretcher is too small for Big Show, which seems a given. We get a reappearance of the cool little buggy last seen at Wrestlemania to take The Undertaker away. John Laryngitis and Teddy Long come down to ringside (or what remains of the ring, and survey the damage. Mark Henry began moving a little then, but is now motionless again. Big Show is starting to shuffle to the buggy, and makes it, but he seems in a bad way. Well I should think Henry has retained the title after all this, and the match will be deemed a draw? We’ve had no official announcement though, as Henry needs to be taken out the ring as he is also unable to continue. Henry seems to be refusing help, and shoves two referees, two medical people and Teddy Long out the way as he insists on crawling to the backstage area. Is someone going to repair the ring, or are we going to have the last match of the evening contested in some weird ‘Broken Ring Last Man Standing Match’? Ah, here’s Laryngitis to give us some word on the decision for the match. He tells us that we will have the WWE championship match, but not who (if anyone) won the Henry vs. Show match! And now we seem to be moving on…
WINNER: UM…NOBODY. LET’S CALL IT A DRAW (HENRY RETAINS TITLE)

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP LAST MAN STANDING MATCH: JOHN CENA VS. ALBERTO DEL RIO (CHAMPION) (W/ RICARDO RODRIGUEZ)
Presumably while they repair the ring and administer the necessary injections to put Mark Henry and Big Show out of their suffering, we get the highlight package for the build up for the Last Man Standing match, which ought to be good. As Del Rio is introduced, it seems nobody has bothered to try and put the ring back together, and Del Rio doesn’t seem happy at the state of the whole thing. I was sort of half-joking when I said is the ring going to remain as it is, but it seems we’re going to have an interesting Last Man Standing match this evening. Cena doesn’t seem too impressed with the ring either, so this is all very amusing. Let’s see if there’s any inventive ways these two can use the ring, which is, frankly, buggered. Del Rio hasn’t even taken his scarf and belt off yet, and has a look on his face like he can’t really believe this match is going ahead. Cena has a change of attire on tonight, with some green-tinted camouflage shorts and a black t-shirt on. So, it looks like we won’t be seeing any Irish whip-related moves tonight. As we kick off, the chants of ‘LET’S GO CENA, CENA SUCKS!’ begin. Cena right away goes for an Attitude Adjustment on Rodriguez, but Del Rio breaks it up. Del Rio has taken the early advantage in this rather surreal set up, and gets kicked out/off the ring to the outside. Del Rio begins his attack on Cena again, before throwing him into the ring post. Cena rolls back into the ring, and is easily floored again by Del Rio. So far, Del Rio has been rocking the kicks, but he’s thrown to the ground by a game Cena, who hits a slam and numerous elbow drops. He begins landing fists on the champion, before Del Rio lands a double foot kick to Cena, but he’s favouring his neck rather a lot. He hits a series of backdrops, but Cena comes back with a clothesline and tries for the Attitude Adjustment, but Del Rio counters with knees to the back. Del Rio examines the ring ropes to see if he can do anything with them, but it seems futile. Neither man has got the other down for any proper length of time yet. Cnea hits some shoulder blocks and gets Del Rio set up for the five knuckle shuffle, but he can’t do it, so hits Del Rio from a standing position. Del Rio fights back and hits a German suplex to the mat. Cena gets up on the count of four, and power bombs Del Rio, using a fair bit of energy to do so. Del Rio manages to get to his feet on four, and deals with Cena with a spinning back-breaker, and hits some solid kicks. Del Rio drags Cena over to one of the fallen turnbuckles, and lays it across his chest. Del Rio takes a run up and stomps the turnbuckle into Cena, which keeps him down as he tries to free himself. He gets up on eight, and catches Del Rio with the Attitude Adjustment as he charges him down, and now both men are on the mat! It takes to eight again for Del Rio to get up, and Rodriguez tries to intervene as Cena gets Del Rio in another Attitude Adjustment attempt. Del Rio tries for the Cross Arm-breaker, and then applies a sleeper hold, more in an attempt to wear him down than to keep him down for ten. Del Rio releases the sleeper and lets the referee count Cena out. He backs off as the count reaches five, and now he’s stirring. Del Rio tries to throw Cena out the ring, but it’s reversed and instead it’s Del Rio who flies through the air where the ropes used to be, and straight into the security barrier! It’s seven before Del Rio gets to his feet and now Cena slings him into the barrier again. Del Rio launches Cena into the ring steps as he clutches the announcer’s tables to stay upright. Rodriguez is lifted up by Cena and planted groin first onto the collapsed ring post! Del Rio is then dumped on top of it, battering Rodriguez’s nether regions a second time! Both men are outside now, and Cena picks up the ring steps to use as a weapon. He carries them over to where Del Rio is, but misses as he throws them at him. Del Rio punishes Cena with more blows, and tries to ram Cena’s head into the steps again, but Cena manages to stop himself. Del Rio retrieves the larger set of steps, and tries to dump them on Cena, and does so, right in the face! Cena is flat out, and allows the ref to count again. On eight, Cena gets to his feet, and battles Del Rio up the ramp way. They go backstage through the curtain, and now Del Rio is thrown across a table laden with drinks. The count reaches six as Cena upends a large cabinet, trying to topple it onto Del Rio, who escapes. Del Rio lays Cena out on top of the cabinet and slams him down hard. Del Rio meanwhile is trying to pull a large trolley out as Cena collapses in the backstage interview area. Del Rio pulls the interview set down on top of Cena, trying to bury him under the heavy metal screens, and gets three, then four of them down on top of the challenger. The referee pleads with him to stop, and then begins counting. On eight, Cena frees himself and battles again with Del Rio as they move to another backstage area in the dark. They find their way back to the ramp way of the ring area, and exchange fists. Rodriguez, recovered from his groin injury, leaps on Cena’s back, but is shrugged off. Del Rio, taking advantage of the distraction, shoves Cena through the gigantic ‘V’ structure at the top of the ramp way, and sets up a table nearby. He slumps Cena over it, then climbs some of the scaffolding at the top of the ramp. Cena recovers, and then pulls Del Rio off and through the table! Cena, as done in as he looks, is still the man on his feet, and the referee begins his count – and gets to eight. Cena and Del Rio battle near the technical area and in the crowd, before Del Rio is thrown over the security barrier to the ring side area. Cena is thrown over the announcer’s desk and into the commentator’s chairs, as Del Rio removes the desk cover and monitors from the Spanish desk. Cena however, runs Del Rio alongside the ring by his head and sends him crashing into the barrier, before levelling Rodriguez for about the fourth time in this match. Del Rio tries an Enziguiri kick, but can only kick the ring post and tremble in pain afterwards. Cena moves the ring steps near the Spanish announcer’s desk, then carries Del Rio in the Attitude Adjustment position, up the steps and sends the champion crashing through the desk! Cena retreats to allow the referee to count him out, and The Miz and R-Truth come rushing down the ramp to assault John Cena! The referee can only stand and watch as Cena is laid to waste, and was too distracted by the attack to count Del Rio out! He now begins counting Cena as Del Rio gets to his feet, and manages to stand JUST BEFORE THE REFEREE REACHES TEN! But he’s still in this one! Del Rio comes careering into the ring and blasts Cena with the WWE championship. Del Rio hoists himself up and reaches his feet, as Cena is left reeling as the referee reaches ten and declares Del Rio STILL THE WWE CHAMPION!
WINNER: ALBERTO DEL RIO (TITLE RETAINED)

Cena is not quite with it as he reaches his feet, but then falls down again. Del Rio celebrates on the ramp with his title, as Cena tries to focus on what has just happened. It was controversial at the end with the interference, but Del Rio has retained at Vengeance, and that’s all that matters!

Source: wrestlingtruth.com