Believe The HIPE - Year 2, Week 16 (4/16 - 4/22)

17:11 Publicado por Mario Galarza

1. Day 471 - Return Is Jericho

2. Day 472 - Lockdown

2.5 Day 473 - RAWnning Diary

4. Day 474 - Jon Moxley is coming

5. Day 475 - Shake, shake, shake.. shake, shake, shake.. shake up the rosters

Day 471
You guessed it.. #FuckYouMattHardy

Everyone knew that Chris Jericho would be returning to the WWE roster eventually. Even before it was announced that he'd be competing on Dancing With The Stars, people were already making predictions as to when he'd return, who he'd return against, etc. He's always been about keeping the door open, but never actually coming out and saying that he will return. With Edge's sudden retirement, that opened the door even further. The door was open, and.. well.. Jericho finally decided to walk on through.

In case you missed it, Jericho did a video where he basically asked the WWE fans to continue voting for him on DWTS because they're coming down to the wire (a quick Wikipedia check reveals that Jericho is one of the final eight celebrities left). In the video, he made it official, saying that he will be returning to the world of wrestling once his run on DWTS is over. Two things stand out about all of that..

1. It's pretty clear that, with Edge's retirement, someone in the company reached out to Jericho and said that he's needed now more than ever, or perhaps Chris saw it himself. Like I said earlier, he's been really vague and loved to drop hints this entire time about a return, and now, all of a sudden, in what almost amounts to a throwaway moment, he reveals that he's officially coming back? Sounds like his decision was rushed a bit, one way or another.

2. It seems a bit backwards to tell WWE fans that you'll return to the company when your run on DWTS is over, but that you want them to continue voting for you so that you'll advance further. The WWE fans that want Jericho back will go out of their way not to vote for him now, just so he'll be eliminated quicker and be back on WWE programming sooner.

That Wikipedia search I did earlier also informed me that the season finale of DWTS is on May 24th, which, obviously, would be the last possible date that Jericho would have on the show. That's a Tuesday night. It's also the first Smackdown taping after the Over The Limit pay-per-view. So, if he makes it to the finale, he'll miss at least that much time. The funny thing about that schedule is that the first WWE live event after May 24th is a Raw brand house show in Jericho's old stomping grounds of Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. It would be cool to have him return in front of his Canadian fans, but let's be honest.. he's not making his return at a house show, hometown or not.

I've seen some people say that his return should be started with another series of vignettes, just like his "save_us" return, as well as his "countdown clock" debut back in the day. That's fine and all, but don't you think people would be expecting it at this point? Just about any super-secret vignette is going to have people pointing in Jericho's direction. Even the vignettes that led to The Undertaker's return in February had people saying it had to do with Jericho, and there wasn't a damn thing in those vignettes that had anything to do with Chris Jericho, past or present.

Personally, I'd hold off on his return a bit, no matter what happens on DWTS. WWE has back-to-back episodes of Raw in June (the 13th and the 20th) that will be three-hour shows. It is heavily rumored that one of two dates is when the WWE Draft will take place. By the way, the June 13th episode will be taking place in Long Island, New York. Where is Chris Jericho from? If you guessed Long Island, New York.. well, then you'd be correct. I'm not sayin.. I'm just sayin.

Jericho returning at the Draft would be a good idea, in my opinion. Hell, have the Draft on June 20th, but have him make his return on the 13th, allowing Teddy Long and the anonymous Raw General Manager to try and see if they can get Jericho on their side for their show. Either way, that would be the best possible option, if you ask me. It's when the roster gets shifted, so it opens the possibilities of Jericho returning and being able to participate in fresh feuds against people he's either never faced before, or hasn't faced in a long time. That also gives Jericho some time to get back into ring shape. He's a veteran, and has been keeping himself in shape with DWTS, of course, but ring rust can get to even the best of them from time to time. Most important to the overall product, though, it would give the company more star power to use on the road to SummerSlam, which is the second-biggest show of the entire year. Edge is gone. We have no idea if/when The Undertaker will return. Kane could realistically be gone by then. We have no idea if/when Triple H will return. Shawn Michaels is gone. The Rock isn't going to wrestle until WrestleMania, more than likely. Chances are, Steve Austin isn't going to wrestle again, and even if he does, that has to take place at WrestleMania. While the company continues trying to build new main event names, Chris Jericho could really come in handy for them.

Another thing that people are wondering is what side of the face/heel fence Jericho will be on when he returns. He's going to be a face when he returns, folks. It might not last long before he turns, but when he does come back, it's going to be as a face. There's not much that he could do right now to get a crowd to boo him upon his return. Honestly, the only thing I could think of right now is if he returned at Extreme Rules, cost Christian the World Title and then cut a promo about how he (Jericho) is the greatest Canadian champion in the history of the company, not Edge, not Bret Hart, etc. That would turn the crowd on him pretty quickly, but there's not much else. If he returns and attacks John Cena? Get real. Same goes for Randy Orton. Daniel Bryan isn't over enough to win the crowd over against Jericho yet. Morrison isn't over enough with the smark crowd to win them over against Jericho. Maybe they could have Jack Swagger turn face by attacking Michael Cole at Extreme Rules, and then have Cole "recruit" Jericho to come in and take Swagger out. This is why I think the Draft is an important puzzle piece here. Right now, as it stands, I think Raw could use Jericho more as a heel, while Smackdown could use him more as a face. Let the rosters change up a bit, and let things fall into place some more, and Jericho should be able to return as a face for either show with no problem. Like I said, he might not stay face for too long, because he's just that good at playing a heel, but we'll take it one step at a time.

I'd like to see Jericho come in and help to put someone over. It doesn't matter if he's a heel or a face for that. He could be a really big name to help get Sin Cara over. Jericho's familiar with the Lucha Libre style and makes for a much more high-profile victory than Primo does. He could also help to continue a push for Cody Rhodes, because back-to-back feud victories over the likes of Rey Mysterio and Chris Jericho would pretty much assure Cody of a main event run, which is something he's showing that he deserves. Dolph Ziggler could also use someone like Jericho putting him over. Same for Wade Bar-ruh. Same for Drew McIntyre. Same for Kofi Kingston. Same for Alberto Del Rrrrrio. Same for Daniel Bryan. The list goes on, and that's why Jericho is still so valuable for World Wrestling Entertainment. He can come in feud with just about anyone, and you're almost assured of good matches coming out of the feud. His added value is that he's big enough and seasoned enough that he doesn't need to be going after the World Titles and WWE Titles of the world.

That last sentence made me think of something else, actually. People are always saying that the United States and Intercontinental Titles have been devalued through the years, right? There's an easy solution on the horizon. Put Chris Jericho in the title picture for either belt. Of all the main eventers in the company, only Jericho could be in a feud for those titles without it looking like a serious demotion of some sort. A month worth of classics between Jericho and the likes of Bryan, Sheamus, Kingston, Bar-ruh, Rhodes, McIntyre, etc would be fantastic, and would definitely put some added shine on the midcard titles.

I've shared a bunch of my thoughts and opinions, but now, it's your turn, ReaderLand. What do you want to see, as far as Chris Jericho goes? Do you even want him to return? Face or heel? Raw or Smackdown? Who do you want to see him feud with upon returning? Holla at ya boy and let me know what's on your mind.

Writer's Note: We're down to the Final Four in Hustle Madness 2011, folks. Click the following link to check things out, and to get your vote in..

Hustle Madness 2011 - Final Four

Writer's Note Part Deux: #FuckYouMattHardy (now a group on Facebook, so click to join:

#FuckYouMattHardy

The HiPE Playlist: The NBA Playoffs.

It's hard to rob a gun store, man. They've got guns.

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-Team Sleep--------------------------Day 472
Carly Foulkes is just too cute. She makes this my favorite commercial going right now.

So, who watched Lockdown? Raise your hand if you did.

I'm looking..

I'm looking..

I'm glancing around, and I don't see too many hands in the air, whether or not they're waving as if they don't care. Because a lot of you didn't watch it, allow me.. your friendly neighborhood hustler.. to break some things down for you. Thank me later. No Drake.

- Could TNA have made the holes in the cage any bigger for the cameramen to get unobstructed shots? Those fucking things are big enough for people to fit through, which would pretty much defeat the entire purpose of having a cage, wouldn't it? "Nobody can interfere, unless they, you know, climb right on in here" isn't a smart idea.

- If you're going to put eight X-Division wrestlers into a match, why would you make it elimination rules, knowing they won't get that much time to work with?!? The match lasted a little over 13-and-a-half minutes, which meant fall after fall after fall, coming in rapid succession. People are being eliminated in the match off of regular moves. It's ridiculous, and it just makes these guys look poor. I'm not saying everyone needs to kick out of six finishers before finally being pinned, but damn.. there's no way to take them seriously when clotheslines are leading to their elimination. Normally, the X-Division matches are nothing but spotfests. They're good for what they are, but they don't offer much else. This wasn't even on that level. It was just.. there. I'm not necessarily a fan of Max Buck as a singles competitor, but you know what? I'll give TNA credit for trying to push someone new, which is what they're trying to do with Max in his new heel persona. They'd better play their cards right, though, because crowds aren't really buying into him just yet.

- A random-ass tag team four-way.. on pay-per-view.. without the Tag Team Champions. Someone should be fired for thinking of that. Put the match on Impact, where it belongs. I've said it before, but I'm not a fan of #1 Contender-style matches taking place on pay-per-view, unless it's one of those rare situations where the match takes place at the beginning of the show, and the winner(s) goes on to face the champion(s) later on the card. That's just me, though. This match was another one that was merely.. there. Nothing stood out. Nothing was great, but nothing was horrendous, either. I'm not sure I see the point in making somewhat of a big deal over British Invasion reuniting for this, only to have them job, though. That, and I'd much rather see a Beer Money VS British Invasion match. That's almost guaranteed to be good stuff, while Beer Money VS Ink Inc means that Beer Money had better have their working boots on, or the match is going to suck. Just an odd booking choice, that's all.

- Hey, speaking of odd booking choices.. if Mickie James' shoulder is injured, wouldn't it have made sense to either scrap the Knockouts Title match for a later date, or to at least make it a tag match of some sort so that other people can carry the workload? If Mickie isn't healthy enough to be participating in matches that last longer than 45 seconds, she shouldn't be in the fucking ring to begin with. I get that it was Madison getting her comeuppance and all, but look at how easily she was defeated. Now look at all of the people she defeated during her title reign. You've just made them all look like total fools. I wasn't a fan of this being on the show at all.

- D'Angelo Dinero continues his multiple-year streak of not participating in a match that rates better than two-and-a-half stars. The Undertaker's WrestleMania streak is impressive, but that's only one match a year. Dinero could wrestle every single week, and sometimes more than once in a single week, and his streak continues on. He's been in the ring with some world-class talent, too, which makes his streak even more incredible. I hope and I pray that he can go back to nothingness now that Samoa Joe made him submit. It was one of the worst feuds that pro wrestling has seen in years, and it would benefit everyone alive if it ended already. Dinero sucks. Let him feud with.. someone else. I don't know. I don't really care, to be honest.

- You could take a lot of what I just said about D'Angelo Dinero and use it for Hernandez, as well. The feud he just went through with Matt Morgan has been awful. Morgan getting the win tonight and doing the "I want the title" motion around his waist pretty much signals that he'll be moving on to something other than this feud. Hernandez only continues to get worse as the months go by.

- Kurt Angle VS Jeff Jarrett. Wow. I don't even know where to begin, really. First and foremost.. you have Referee Brian Hebner trying to count pins in a fall that was clearly labeled as "Submissions Only". Then.. you have Referee Brian Hebner trying to count both men down on the mat in a fall that was clearly labeled as "Pinfalls Only". That's the type of shit that makes TNA look second-rate. It looks like nobody knows what the fuck is going on. Also, can someone tell Kurt Angle to chill out for a little while? The bump he took from damn near the top of the cage was one of the scariest things I've seen in a long time. He came within an inch or two of dying, right there in the middle of the ring. That's not even an exaggeration. He fell from that high, and he basically landed square on his head. It's no secret that he's had neck issues throughout his entire career. If Edge couldn't get medical clearance to continue wrestling, it blows my mind that Kurt Angle can. Maybe he hasn't been seeing medical personnel. Maybe he has, but TNA is allowing him to wrestle, anyway. Whatever it is, it's a little scary that he continues going out there and bumping the way he does. He's going to end up in some serious trouble one day soon. As for the match tonight, it was good. It wasn't their best match, but it was still good, and probably the Match Of The Night. Well, except for the fact that Angle missed the Moonsault by a good two or three FEET. I don't think I've ever seen a top rope move miss by as much as that did, but kudos to the veteran Jeff Jarrett for rolling over and getting into as close a position as he could to make it look like he caught some of the blow.

- I don't know what's more frightening.. the fact that a broken-down 52-year-old continues to be the TNA World Champion, the fact that Rob Van Dam and Mr Anderson were the two best challengers TNA could find, or the fact that we're almost certainly heading towards a Sting VS Hulk Hogan match at either the upcoming Slammiversary event on June 12th or at Bound For Glory in October. Those are all nightmare-inducing. Sting is one of the top names of the last 25 years in all of wrestling, but he just can't "go" anymore. You have to put him in the ring with people that can actually help carry him, and damnit, RVD (or, RDV, as TNA's Facebook would like him to be called, apparently) and Anderson can't do that. It's time for Sting to drop the title and fade off into the sunset, preferably before we get that Sting/Hogan match that will, undoubtedly, end up being one of the worst matches of all-time. For the love of his legacy, TNA, do something, and do it soon.

- Christopher Daniels, Kazarian and Beer Money VS Ric Flair, Abyss, #FuckYouMattHardy and Bully Ray was the main event of Lockdown. The Tag Team Champions, the X-Division Champion and a midcarder VS a 62-year-old man and three overweight midcarders. Look, I get that the return of AJ Styles is supposed to be a really big deal (even though he's only been out for a couple weeks), but this isn't like The Undertaker VS Shawn Michaels getting top billing over the World and WWE Title matches at WrestleMania. This match had no business being a pay-per-view main event. Ric Flair's tired in-ring act of bleeding and losing clothing has no business being in a pay-per-view main event. #FuckYouMattHardy damn sure has no business being in a pay-per-view main event. Kazarian's middle-of-the-pack self has no business being in a pay-per-view main event. Did I mention that #FuckYouMattHardy has no business being in a pay-per-view main event? Well, #FuckYouMattHardy has no business being in a pay-per-view main event. I just don't understand how this happened. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. The match itself was decent enough, but again.. as a pay-per-view main event? I've seen some people say that the match got the final spot because the company didn't want to risk having another debacle of a main event after the Jeff Hardy gobbledygoo. Well, if that's the case, that's nobody's fault but the TNA booking team for putting together a World Title match that everyone knew would be awful. Perhaps if there was a World Title match worth caring about, things could have and would have been different.

Lockdown was a case of poor booking decisions taking over. Some people are saying the event was awful, but I wouldn't go that far. There was some pretty decent action, but that booking.. man, that booking.. it's really holding TNA back.

Writer's Note: We're down to the Final Four in Hustle Madness 2011, folks. Click the following link to check things out, and to get your vote in..

Hustle Madness 2011 - Final Four

Writer's Note Part Deux: #FuckYouMattHardy (now a group on Facebook, so click to join:

#FuckYouMattHardy

The HiPE Playlist: "Phone Numbers" by Sir Michael Rocks.. "People Under The Stairs" by Mac Miller.. "Hip Hop @ Funk U" by Bootsy Collins, Ice Cube, Chuck D & Snoop Dogg.. "The Execution" by Kid Vishis & Royce Da 5'9.. "Down This Road" by Bizarre & Yelawolf.. "It's Goin Down" by Celly Cel.. "What Would You Do" by Tha Dogg Pound.. "New York, New York" by Tha Dogg Pound.. "Let's Play House" by Tha Dogg Pound & Nate Dogg.. "Damn" by Youngbloodz & Lil Jon

I had a dream one time. I was climbin this fire escape, and I couldn't make it to the top. I climbed through the window of this fly ass crib, with a big see-through 'frigerator. It was full of sammiches. But.. but.. I couldn't open the door, Martin. So I just stood there and cried, man. Oh, yeah.. Bruh Man cried.

-------------------------Day 473

9:08pm: I would thank my DVR, and I guess I still do, but I had a cable glitch for a few moments, so I'm starting the show a few minutes late. I guess I'll be able to fast forward through a commercial break or two and get caught up.

9:10pm: R-Truth is out to start the show.

9:10pm: Jim Ross is on commentary again. That's pretty awesome. #ThankYouEdge. However, Michael Cole is also on commentary again, and for that.. #FuckYouMattHardy.

9:11pm: Wait.. Truth is starting the show with a promo? That's different. I guess he is a main eventer now, though. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to shove a screwdriver into my thigh after having to type out that R-Truth is a main eventer.

9:13pm: John Morrison is now out to join the talking festivities, which immediately makes this opening segment even worse.

9:15pm: What exactly is so bad about taking a swig of water in between matches? I don't think I'm understanding the point of this. Is this the beginning of a heel turn for Morrison or something?

9:16pm: Now, Morrison is preaching to Truth about how smoking cigarettes is bad. CM Punk called, and he thinks both of these guys are fucking hopeless on the microphone.

9:17pm: What the fuck kind of way to announce the WWE Draft is that? Morrison just makes a comment, in passing, that the Draft is next week, so he and Truth might not have an opportunity to wrestle each other again after tonight.

9:19pm: R-Truth VS John Morrison, for Truth's spot in the WWE Title Triple Threat at Extreme Rules. Umm.. alright.

9:21pm: Morrison looks like the valedictorian of the Randy Orton School of Terrible-Looking Clotheslines.

9:22pm: The commentary team has spent more than half of the match talking about each other, and not the match. This is like WCW all over again.

9:23pm: Morrison wins, just like that? What was the point of putting Truth in the match last week then?

9:25pm: R-Truth turns heel. Alright, now I'm really wondering what the hell is going on? Why would you randomly insert Truth into a WWE Title match, remove him from the match a week later, and then give his character a makeover and make him interesting?!? They would have been better served if he turned heel to win the shot at the WWE Title, and made him look like a legit contender instead of a joke.

9:26pm: Truth just stroked Morrison's hair, and then gave him a hug. Somewhere, Ricardo Rodriguez is excited, and is probably touching the anus of a toy poodle.

9:28pm: Does Morrison have no friends? This post-match attack is going on and on, and nobody is coming to his aid.

9:29pm: It's still going. Truth is now smoking, and that brings on a "That's illegal" chant from the crowd, which is hilarious. It then caused a guy to yell out "Think of the children, Truth!", which is even funnier.

9:31pm: They spent an entire fourth of the show on R-Truth and John Morrison. Holy shit.

9:33pm: Evan Bourne VS Dolph Ziggler? I can live with that.

9:33pm: Son of a bitch. Dolph has short hair now, and has been dyed a dark color. He looks like a fucking create-a-wrestler now. Any individuality that he had is now gone.

9:35pm: Dolph looks like Bourne's older brother out there.

9:37pm: Dolph Bourne defeats Evan Ziggler in a match that was too short to really amount to much of anything.

9:38pm: Michael Cole is going to be "knighted" tonight. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it won't be an entertaining segment. Just a hunch.

9:41pm: Seriously, can someone tell 3 Doors Down that they can switch their sound up every now and then? There's no reason for all of their songs to sound the same.

9:45pm: Alberto Del Rrrrrio is going to throw a "Retirement Party" for Edge on Smackdown this week. What's that sound I hear? It sounds like.. yeah, it sounds like people typing on their keyboards that the Edge retirement is nothing but a storyline.

9:47pm: The WWE Title Triple Threat is going to be inside of a Steel Cage. ZOMG dey ripped off Lokdownnnn~!

9:52pm: lol @ Miz having a Chris Jericho moment, cutting a promo going into a commercial break, and when the show comes back on, he's still talking in the ring.

9:53pm: Sin Cara with the DOUBLE FINGERPOINT OF DOOM~! for The Miz and Alex Riley. They should treat him like Family Guy's Evil Monkey. Have him come out and point, but have other people not quite believe that he's real. For example, he beats Sheamus up, and then Sheamus is seen backstage complaining to someone about being attacked, and that person can act like he didn't see anyone. No? Alright then.

9:55pm: Sin Cara is already teaming up with John Cena. Remember when I told you folks that Sin Cara would be pushed quickly upon making his debut? Yeah..

9:57pm: Commercial break, but damn, this has not been a good first hour to the show. I'm hoping the second hour can save things a bit.

10:01pm: Cena's playing the face-in-peril in a tag team with Sin Cara. Wow.

10:02pm: Some people don't really understand the historical value of a Cena/Cara team. Cena is, without question, the biggest name and draw of this generation. In the world of Lucha Libre, Sin Cara (then known as Mistico) was, without question, the biggest name and draw of this generation. This is, technically, a multi-cultural dream team right here.

10:05pm: Sin Cara gets the pin on Riley. Sin Cara was pretty over with the London crowd. He got a better pop there than he has in the United States over the last couple weeks.

10:12pm: Brie Bella cut to cut a one-sentence promo. I'm still trying to figure out the point to that. She'd be better off not saying anything at all.

10:14pm: Eve VS Nikki Bella is basically World Wrestling Entertainment delivering a big "fuck you" to London. You'd think London cheated on WWE back in high school or something.

10:15pm: There is zero reaction to this from the crowd. Fucking hell. It's not that difficult for the company to figure out that nobody cares about Eve or the Bella Twins, but when you put them in a match together, it's twice as bad.

10:25pm: Please.. for the love of all that which is good.. end this Michael Cole shit. End his life if you have to. Whatever it takes to stop all of this is fine with me.

10:27pm: This is still going on. Raw's getting very close to an "F" for the week.

10:29pm: Is that fungus growing on Cole's foot? What the fuck?

10:30pm: I want Michael Cole to be found dead in his hotel room, and I want it to happen soon. This is fucking ridiculous. It's not fair that so many talented people lose their lives through the years, while this fuck is still around.

10:35pm: Santino VS Sheamus is up next. Something tells me this isn't going to help save the show from a painful death.

10:38pm: Again with Cole talking about other things than what's going on during the match currently taking place. This is fucking brutal.

10:46pm: I really don't even know what to say about this episode so far.

10:47pm: Time for the main event. There's a decent-sized chunk of time remaining in the show, which is promising. If this match doesn't hit the three-star mark, I think this episode is going to get an "F". We shall see.

10:51pm: A dueling chant for Randy Orton and CM Punk. Wow. That caught me off-guard a bit.

10:56pm: I was expecting a lot more from this crowd, but I guess, when this is the product they're having to watch, I shouldn't be surprised that they've spent a lot of the time sitting on their hands.

11:00pm: lol @ Punk asking the Referee if it was legal to pin Orton on the outside.

11:00pm: A dueling "GTS" and "RKO" chant. This crowd is decidedly more pro-CM Punk than I would have thought. Then again, Punk has been huge in the United Kingdom for 35 years, if you catch what I'm throwing at you.

11:03pm: Now Orton is getting the John Cena crowd response, with the people cheering for him having much higher-pitched voices, and the people cheering against him having much deeper voices.

11:05pm: Beautiful set of counters from Punk there, first to the rope-assisted DDT, and then to the RKO. The RKO counter was especially nice.

11:06pm: ..all that, and Orton wins, anyway. Fucking fuck.

11:07pm: The NexSES is out to beat Orton down after the match. Let's see if he bounces back and comes out on top.. again.

11:08pm: Mason Ryan looks ridiculous with Wade Bar-ruh's haircut. David Otunga looks ridiculous with his new mohawk, but then again, he looked ridiculous to begin with.

11:09pm: A long match, a post-match beatdown by three people.. and Orton is still able to jump up like nothing happened and hit Punk with an RKO. Super Orton strikes again. Ridiculous.

#ThankYouEdge: Sin Cara getting another chance to hang with WWE's "big dogs".. Randy Orton VS CM Punk

#FuckYouMattHardy: 30 minutes of the show dedicated to giving R-Truth a character, a week too late, and then taking his WWE Title shot from him, anyway.. Dolph Ziggler looking generic as all hell.. Eve and the Bellas continuing to waste everyone's time.. the entire segment with Michael Cole being "knighted", and then the "kiss my foot" shit afterwards.. Super Orton

Grade: I'm a man of my word. I said that if Orton VS Punk didn't hit three-stars, this episode would get an "F". It did get three stars, so instead, Raw gets a D- this week. Terrible show, overall.

Writer's Note: This is it. Hustle Madness 2011 is down to the main event. Two teams remaining. Which one gets your vote? Click the link to get your vote on..

Hustle Madness 2011 - Final Four

The HiPE Playlist: Raw.

Pam, is that your breath smellin like boiled bologna?

No, that's yo' feet eating through those shoes again.

-------------------------Day 474

Jon Moxley is coming.

World Wrestling Entertainment's latest signee, Jon Moxley, has been one of the top rising stars on the independent scene for the last year or so. He was flying under the radar for a while, but he made the most of his opportunities in various promotions, wrestling different styles and becoming more well-rounded. He's able to wrestle for Combat Zone Wrestling and work their deathmatch style, and he can do it well, winning the CZW World Title twice. At the same time, he can step into a promotion like Dragon Gate USA or EVOLVE and work on his rapidly-improving technical game. That versatility is very valuable in this day and age. As I've said in my columns before, WWE really seems to be looking towards world-traveled versatile workers, able to adapt to multiple styles and get in the ring with multiple workers without a problem.

I've talked to a few people about Moxley recently, and they all brought up an immediate concern that a lot of people tend to have about indy wrestlers and the stereotype that follows them around.. size. People think of the "indy darlings", and they think of smaller workers like Evan Bourne, Daniel Bryan and Kaval. Even CM Punk isn't that big (at 6'1" and about 215-220 pounds, he's actually below average in size). There's not a worry that people need to have about Jon Moxley, though. At 6'4" (he's sometimes billed at 6'5", too) and 235-240 pounds, he's plenty big enough to be on the "big stage" and look like he belongs.

What really works in Moxley's advantage, though, in my opinion, is his promo skills. Many people say that he's probably the second-best promo on the entire indy scene, behind only Eddie Kingston, who is a better "talker" than most of the WWE roster, anyway. Moxley brings his own unique style, as well as a unique voice, to his promos, and that helps him immensely. For a while now, I've seen comparisons between Moxley's promos and Heath Ledger's Joker from The Dark Night, just with the way he sounds, the things that he says and even the manner in which he says them. For example, here's a promo he cut for Dragon Gate USA last year, leading up to a match with then-still Bryan Danielson..

Can you see (well, hear) the Joker similarities? There's nobody in the WWE locker room that can speak like that. Nobody. There's nobody that can come across as that believably crazy. Not even KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE, and that's basically been his entire gimmick for nearly 15 years. Moxley can step in and play a psychotic heel from day one, and he'd get over doing so.

The one thing working against him is the same thing that a lot of people thought would work against CM Punk when he signed his WWE deal.. his personality. Punk never was a "yes man", and often rubbed people the wrong way by speaking his mind, regardless of the consequence. While not quite on Punk's level in that regard, Moxley often finds himself speaking his mind, and again, that could really rub people the wrong way, especially in the WWE locker room, where there's not a whole lot of slack on the rope, so to speak. Maybe he'll be so far in the WWE "dog house" like Punk is always rumored to be that he'll only win six overall titles, inlcuding three World Title reigns, and win Money In The Bank in back-to-back years. Wouldn't want that kind of trouble, that's for sure.

Am I sitting here, predicting a hugely successful WWE career for Jon Moxley, capped off by a spot in the WWE Hall Of Fame? I'm not that crazy.. yet. As is the case with anyone that comes into the company, I'd like to see what the company does with them. He could come in as a very similar character to the one he's been playing over the last few years. He could come in under a luchador mask and be Sin Cara's older brother. It really depends on all of that. There's something that is somewhat scary, though, as far as a new character for him. Everyone knows the company likes to choose some corny names for their new workers from time-to-time. Moxley's real name? Jon Good. Word to Chuck Berry, there's potential for disaster there. Imagine if we got the white version of this for Moxley's WWE debut..

Scary, no?

I'm hopeful for Moxley, though. As a fan of his, I would love to see him succeed as a WWE worker. Only time will tell, but I know this.. I'll be rooting for him.

Jon Moxley is coming.

Writer's Note: People have been asking for an update on the debut issue of LoP Magazine. Well, the issue was supposed to be released tomorrow (today, by the time everyone reads this), but work schedules came into play (#FuckYouMattHardy), so it had to be pushed back until Friday. I'll continue to keep you updated, but know that it's coming, and it's looking good. I'm telling you.. Uncle Joe's contribution to the magazine is worth the price alone. Keep your peepers peepin, folks.

Writer's Note Part Deux: This is it. Hustle Madness 2011 is down to the main event. Two teams remaining. Which one gets your vote? Click the link to get your vote on..

Hustle Madness 2011 - Main Event

The HiPE Playlist: "Which Way Is Up" by Atmosphere & Aesop Rock.. "Consensual Rape" by Action Bronson.. "Return Of The Mack" by Zo, Phonte & Tigallo.. "Casanova" by Levert.. "Don't Disturb This Groove" by The System.. "When I'm With You" by Tony Terry.. "Shower Me With Your Love" by Surface.. "I Can't Wait Another Minute" by Hi-Five.. "Never Should've Let You Go" by Hi-Five.. "She's Playing Hard To Get" by Hi-Five

All the music you listen to is full of cussing. Why don't you listen to Marvin Gaye? He never swore. Well, until his father shot him.

-------------------------Day 475

So, the WWE Draft is now upon us. It's always an exciting time of year, because it carries the potential for new feuds, new matches and a fresh start for a lot of people. I did a column a while back that was basically a "prediction" piece, but a lot has changed since then, so let's look at it again, shall we?

If I recall correctly, I said that we'd see the United States and Intercontinental Champions switching brands, and I still feel that way today. Sheamus has done a lot in his brief time with the company, and there's not a lot left for him to do on Raw. Even as the United States Champion, he's basically running in place on Monday nights, and a move to Smackdown could really benefit him, in my opinion. On the other side of things, it's a little different today than it was in my original column. I believe Kofi Kingston was the Intercontinental Champion at the time of my first prediction, but now that it's Wade Bar-ruh, I see it as less of a "sure thing". However, if you really look at things, it's not like The Corre is full of nothing but main event talent. The titles don't necessarily mean anything for them, because they're rarely treated as any type of a serious threat. You'll get a week or two of Ezekiel Jackson looking like a monster, but then the next week or two consists of the entire group looking bad. Besides, it's not like Bar-ruh coming to Raw would automatically mean the end of the group. There are other picks, as well as the Supplemental Draft that always takes place later in the week. So, we have..

To Raw: Intercontinental Champion Wade Bar-ruh
To Smackdown: United States Champion Sheamus

A lot of people are calling the move to hold the Draft now a bit of a "panic move" on the part of the company in the wake of Edge's retirement. Well, if that's the case, Smackdown is going to need someone with a big enough "name" to step in now that Edge is gone. I've seen some people say that person will be John Cena. No. I don't think words can properly explain to you how surprised I'd be if Cena ends up being drafted to Smackdown. Love him or hate him, he's the biggest star in the wrestling business, and he belongs on the biggest show. Besides, The Rock is eventually going to come back to promote his match with Cena at WrestleMania 28. Can you imagine that taking place on taped episodes of Smackdown? I can't. Instead, I think another big name will be moving to Friday nights, and that's Randy Orton. He's definitely a big enough "name" to take Edge's place, and like I said about Sheamus earlier, he, too, is kind of running in place. He can only beat CM Punk and the NexSES so many times, right? He can only lose to The Miz after a lot of overbooking and interference so many times, right? Give him another start. That now gives us..

To Raw: Intercontinental Champion Wade Bar-ruh..
To Smackdown: United States Champion Sheamus.. Randy Orton..

Maybe this next one is a case of hoping more than anything else, but I think things are working towards a move for Jack Swagger. A lot of it really depends on what happens at Extreme Rules in the match pitting Swagger and Michael Cole against Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross, but it's not difficult to see a change of scenery for Swagger, no matter the outcome of that match. If Swagger "turns" on Cole, it could propel him to a pretty big face push, and he'd make for a nice new challenger for The Miz on Raw, provided that Miz retains the WWE Title at Extreme Rules. On the other side of things, if Swagger remains a heel, his profile has been raised in the last few weeks, and as more of a badass heel, he'd do wonders in a feud with John Cena or John Morrison if they become WWE Champion at the pay-per-view. It really works out well for him. Our new tally..

To Raw: Intercontinental Champion Wade Bar-ruh.. Jack Swagger..
To Smackdown: United States Champion Sheamus.. Randy Orton..

After having a min-discussion on AIM with Morpheus Classic just now, the next idea just makes sense. "Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder has built himself quite the cult fan base with his hilarious YouTube videos. He's even made fans of just about everyone else on the roster, as they always retweet the links to his videos on Twitter and praise how hilarious he is. Even people like The Miz, who can stay in character a lot on Twitter, is always one of the first people to talk about how great the videos are. Let's be honest, though.. even with that cult fan base, he's not doing anything on Raw. A move to Smackdown would really benefit him. For one, his buddies Curt Hawkins and Trent Barreta are there, and damnit, there's still a time and place for them to come together as a group. What sold me on the idea is the thought of Ryder and Cody Rhodes having some sort of interaction. Rhodes, of course, is in the middle of a storyline where he feels that he's hideously disfigured, and not "Dashing" anymore. Thinking about Ryder trying to get Cody to come out to a club with him, all while Cody is still emotionally scarred to match the physical scars he thinks he's suffering from, just kills me. Trying to teach Cody to fist pump, how to dance, etc. Trying to get Cody to say "Woo Woo Woo, you know it". It's great, would get Ryder some television time, and could even show a different side to Cody's character. Then, eventually, Cody could grow tired of everything and destroy Ryder, turning him face and giving us a new feud. Boom. Winning. Duh. Scoreboard time..

To Raw: Intercontinental Champion Wade Bar-ruh.. Jack Swagger..
To Smackdown: United States Champion Sheamus.. Randy Orton.. Zack Ryder..

Well, the Divas will probably be involved in the Draft somewhere. I don't see any huge names changing sides, but since I really don't care enough about the current WWE Diva scene until Kharma (the former Awesome Kong) shows up and fucking destroys anyone, I'll just randomly choose someone from each show that will be switching. Back to the scoreboard..

To Raw: Intercontinental Champion Wade Bar-ruh.. Jack Swagger.. Layla..
To Smackdown: United States Champion Sheamus.. Randy Orton.. Zack Ryder.. Maryse

Last year, there were eight names that changed place during the Draft, so, just for fun, I'll keep it at eight names for this year, as well. That means we're down to the final pick. Just because I can, I'm going to make sure that things aren't even, with equal names coming and going. This next person is someone that really fits in with Smackdown's general vibe. He isn't the biggest "name" on the planet, but he can get in the ring with any opponent, of any size, of any skill level, and he'll work his ass off to get an entertaining match out of it. I'm referring to Daniel Bryan, of course. On Smackdown, Bryan could get into the ring with the likes of Sheamus, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Cody Rhodes, Drew McIntyre, Alberto Del Rrrrrio, Kofi Kingston, Trent Barreta, Christian, Chavo Guerrero, etc, and he could put on 20-minute matches on a weekly basis. They allow things like that more on Smackdown, especially now that we've gotten through the Road To WrestleMania. I kid you not when I say that Daniel Bryan, right now this very minute, could compete for the World Title without anyone finding too much of a problem with it. You can't exactly say the same for him and the WWE Title, even with the history he has with The Miz. He's just not their "star" level, and he remains a ways away from it. No matter who wins the Ladder Match at Extreme Rules, that man could go on to face Daniel Bryan and make some fantastic music. Pause. Our final tally..

To Raw: Intercontinental Champion Wade Bar-ruh.. Jack Swagger.. Layla
To Smackdown: United States Champion Sheamus.. Randy Orton.. Zack Ryder.. Maryse.. Daniel Bryan

It's your turn, ReaderLand. Do you like my picks? What would you change? Who do you think will be switching brands this Monday night? Holla at ya boy and let me know what's on your mind.

Writer's Note: This is it. Hustle Madness 2011 is down to the main event. Two teams remaining. Which one gets your vote? Click the link to get your vote on..

Hustle Madness 2011 - Main Event

The HiPE Playlist: "Nothing New" by Ab-Soul & Jhene Aiko.. "Hell Yeah" by Ab-Soul & Schoolboy Q.. "Moscato" by Ab-Soul & Kendrick Lamar.. "Big Payback" by Ab-Soul & Murs.. "Presidential Shit" by Youngbloodz.. "Damn" by Youngbloodz.. "Uprising" by Muse.. "Awake" by Godsmack.. "Whatever" by Godsmack.. "C'est La Vie" by Protest The Hero

When you're listening to one of our conversations, you might hear the word "motherfucker" about 32 times. Don't be afraid of the word "motherfucker". I'ma break it down to ya. If you're out there this afternoon, and you see like three or four brothers talkin, you might hear a conversation, and it goes like this..

You seen that motherfuckin Bobby? That motherfucker owes me 35 motherfuckin dollars. He told me he gon' pay my motherfuckin money last motherfuckin week. I ain't seen this motherfucker yet! I'm not gonna chase this motherfucker for my 35 motherfucking dollars. I called the motherfucker four motherfuckin times, but the motherfucker won't call me back. I called his mama the other motherfuckin day. She gonna play like the motherfucker wasn't in. I started to cuss her motherfuckin ass out, but I don't want no motherfuckin trouble. But I'll tell you one motherfuckin thing.. the next motherfuckin time I see this motherfucker, and he ain't got my motherfuckin money, I'm gonna bust his motherfuckin head! I'm out this motherfucker!

Source: lordsofpain.net

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