1. Day 436 - You know what WWE needs to bring back?

2. Day 437 - Victory Road.. wow.

2.5 Day 438 - Raw Running Diary

Nigga, just stop it.. everybody knows Ro's a muh'fuckin monster..Day 436
This is video from the tsunami that hit here the other day. This is footage from another island, but it still shows you what happened in Hawaii. It's crazy, sure, but it's nothing that caused tens of thousands of casualties or anything. Very thankful for that, to say the least.

Back in 2008, I did a column requesting that World Wrestling Entertainment bring back the King Of The Ring tournament. I also requested that the winner of the tournament be someone unexpected (a different push for someone, not having a jobber win). Almost immediately, plans to bring KotR back were announced. Sweet. Then, the show happened, and who won? William Regal. Not who many people were predicting. Awesome. It's good to ask for something, and then for that something to happen.

If asking for something nicely worked then, it would make sense for me to ask for something else, wouldn't it? Well, actually, I'm about to ask for two things, but they're tied together.

I know that Vince McMahon isn't exactly very high on bringing in WCW-created ideas, and that's actually understandable, but there are times when you have to look beyond the previous wars and just accept good ideas as good ideas. You know what good ideas do in the wrestling business, Vince? They make money. You like money, don't you? Of course you do.

No, folks, I'm not talking about War Games. With news that a War Games DVD set is going to be released this year, I'm thinking that we'll get to see a brand new War Games match to coincide with the release of the DVD.

I'm actually talking about BattleBowl and the Lethal Lottery.

For a lot of you, that's before your time, so allow me to explain. In 1991, WCW decided to hold a "Lethal Lottery" at their annual Starrcade pay-per-view. It was a tag team tournament, of sorts, with a twist. They put the names of everyone on the roster into a tumbler and randomly drew teammates and opponents for every match. You might have regular tag team partners on opposing sides in a match. You might have mortal enemies teaming together in a match. You had some really interesting matches and teams. Through the years, you had:

- Sting teaming with Abdullah The Butcher in 1991
- Larry Zbyszko teaming with El Gigante in 1991
- Cactus Jack teaming with Johnny B. Badd in 1992
- Vader & Dustin Rhodes VS Kensuke Sasaki & The Barbarian in 1992
- Brian Pillman & 2 Cold Scorpio VS Barry Windham & The Great Muta in 1992 (Windham & Pillman were tag partners)
- Sting & "Dr Death" Steve Williams VS Jushin "Thunder" Liger & Erik Watts in 1992
- Brian Knobbs teaming with Johnny B. Badd in 1993
- Ricky Steamboat teaming with Lord Steven Regal (aka William Regal) in 1993
- Sting teaming with Jerry Sags in 1993
- Ric Flair & Steve Austin VS 2 Cold Scorpio & Maxx Payne in 1993
- Road Warrior Animal & Booker T VS Road Warrior Hawk & Lex Luger in 1996
- Rick Steiner & The Booty Man (lolololol) VS Scott Steiner & Craig Pittman in 1996
- Ric Flair & Randy Savage VS Arn Anderson & Eddie Guerrero in 1996

The winners of the Lethal Lottery matches would then go on to participate in that night's Battlebowl Battle Royal, and the winner would be named Lord Of The Ring, or something along those lines. It was even complete with the prize of a ring, not unlike NFL players receive for winning the Super Bowl. I think WWE could pull off a very successful tournament along those lines. Imagine things like Wade Bar-ruh having to be on opposing teams with Ezekiel Jackson, or if Randy Orton had to team up with CM Punk.

I know what some of you are thinking, though..

"Don't we have enough pay-per-views already?"

You're right. We do have enough pay-per-views. It could be argued that we have too many pay-per-views, but you know the deal.. different column, different time. The fact that there are enough pay-per-views leads me directly into the second thing that I'm asking for..

Between 1988 and 1997, NWA/WCW put on 35 "supercard" events that they called Clash Of The Champions. Just reading those words probably made a lot of you old-school wrestling fans smile a bit, I'm sure. Again, for those of you younger fans, let me break it down.. Clash Of The Champions was basically a pay-per-view quality show held on free television. They were usually held every couple months, but again, were very solid events. Some of the greatest matches in the history of the business took place at Clash cards..

- Ric Flair VS Sting for the NWA World Title at Clash 1 (45-minute draw)
- Ric Flair VS Ricky Steamboat for the NWA World Title at Clash 6 (60-minute draw)
- Lex Luger VS Brian Pillman for the NWA United States Title at Clash 9
- Ric Flair VS Terry Funk in an "I Quit" Match for the NWA World Title at Clash 9
- Ric Flair VS Lex Luger for the NWA United States Title at Clash 12
- Ric Flair VS Scott Steiner for the WCW World Title at Clash 14
- Dustin Rhodes & Ricky Steamboat VS Arn Anderson & Larry Zbyszko for the WCW Tag Team Titles at Clash 17
- Sting & Ricky Steamboat VS Steve Austin & Rick Rude at Clash 18
- Ricky Steamboat & Shane Douglas VS Barry Windham & Dustin Rhodes for the Unified Tag Team Titles at Clash 21
- Ricky Steamboat & Shane Douglas VS Steve Austin & Brian Pillman for the Unified Tag Team Titles at Clash 22
- Steve Austin & Brian Pillman VS Ric Flair & Arn Anderson for the Unified Tag Team Titles at Clash 23
- Ric Flair VS Sting for the Unified World Title at Clash 27

You're not going to get a track record like that with Saturday Night's Main Event.

Yes, Saturday Night's Main Event. Vince McMahon's company began airing their own "megacards" in 1985, a full three years before the NWA did it. However, it was clear, from the beginning, that Clash Of The Champions was taken far more seriously, and they have much better matches to show for it.

I highly doubt that the USA Network would pass on the opportunity to air, let's say, six Clash-like events a year, since it seems NBC has pretty much given up on airing SNME from now on. If the company loaded up the cards enough, it would be beneficial to everyone. UFC is creating a really nice business model for that these days. They air major events on free television all the time, and it's doing absolutely nothing to hurt the buyrates of their actual pay-per-views. If World Wrestling Entertainment plays their cards right, airing semi-regular Clash events wouldn't hurt their pay-per-view buyrates, either. In fact, it could actually boost buyrates with the right booking.

Just looking at the current WWE roster, I randomly selected some matchups and came up with the following card for a Lethal Lottery event..

- Mark Henry & Justin Gabriel VS Christian & Chris Masters
- Kane & CM Punk VS Kofi Kingston & The Great Khali
- Dolph Ziggler & Evan Bourne VS Wade Bar-ruh & Big Show
- John Morrison & Ezekiel Jackson VS Rey Mysterio & William Regal
- Daniel Bryan & Zack Ryder VS Tyson Kidd & Alberto Del Rrrrrio
- Jack Swagger & Trent Barreta VS Drew McIntyre & R-Truth
- Sheamus & Santino VS Mason Ryan & Cody Rhodes
- David Hart Smith & Randy Orton VS Vladimir Kozlov & Brodus Clay

Throw in the Battlebowl Battle Royal featuring the winners of the match, as well as a World Title or WWE Title match, and you have a pretty nice card to have your first Clash event with. From then on, you could have the Clash cards be "normal" events. The Lethal Lottery only needs to happen, at most, once a year. It's just an idea whose time has come.

What does everyone out there in ReaderLand think? You can comment on the Lethal Lottery, Clash Of The Champions, or both. I just want to know what you think, so holla at ya boy and let me know what's on your mind.

Writer's Note: As of this very second, it's 10:18pm in Hawaii, and after I finish typing this up and I get it posted, I will put the finishing touches on the opening round brackets of Hustle Madness. Look for it to be posted at approximately 6pm EST, give or take. It will not be my daily entry for The HIPE Train, though, so don't forget to check back in at the same usual time for tomorrow's entry. This is just a final reminder that Hustle Madness is back, and is going wild.

The HiPE Playlist: "Whip Appeal" by Babyface.. "Can You Stop The Rain" by Peabo Bryson.. "A Whole New World" by Peabo Bryson & Regina Belle (don't judge me).. "Out Of Touch" by Hall & Oates.. "You Make My Dreams" by Hall & Oates.. "18 & Life" by Skid Row.. "Nite & Day" by Al B Sure.. "Joy" by Blackstreet.. "Before I Let You Go" by Blackstreet.. "Livin On A Prayer" by Bon Jovi

This whole drug shit? It's not a black thing. It's not a white thing. It's a death thing. Death don't give a shit about color.

Hustle
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-Team Sleep--------------------------Day 437

If you folks have paid any attention to what has been going on in wrestling today, then you'd already know what today's column is about.

TNA's Victory Road is now in the books, and while the majority of it was your typical TNA PPV fare (some poor matches, weird booking decisions, non-finishes, an X-Division spotfest), what we got at the end of the show is what everyone is talking about.

Sting was defending his TNA World Title against Jeff Hardy. Before the match could get started, Eric Bischoff made his way out, and eventually changed the match and added a No Disqualification stipulation to it. The match got underway, but not after Sting punched Bischoff right in the mush. There was plenty of time left in the show, so everyone was expecting a 20-minute main event. It's supposed to be the two biggest names in the company, facing off for the biggest prize in the company, so nobody should expect anything less.

The bell rang to start the match. The entire first minute.. literally, the entire first minute featured Hardy walking around, playing to the crowd, basically asking who wanted his t-shirt as he feigned throwing it into the Impact Zone. Eventually, it was all shenaniganery, as he just dropped the shirt, and that was that. At a little over a minute in, we got a collar-and-elbow tie-up between Sting and Hardy. That lasted for a few seconds before Sting broke it with a kick to the gut. Then a punch to the face. Then another punch, sending Hardy into the corner. Sting grabs Hardy by the hair, pulls him out of the corner, nails him with a Scorpion Death Drop and gets the pin.

That was the whole match. I didn't leave anything out. I didn't gloss over anything. I didn't exaggerate any times. That was it. As soon as the match was over, Sting got up, looking a mixture of pissed off and disappointed. Hardy popped right back up after the fall, and was basically just standing there. People were waiting for something else to happen. There must be a swerve coming, right? TNA wouldn't end their PAY-PER-VIEW MAIN EVENT that quickly, would they? Bischoff or Hogan is going to announce a new match with a new challenger for Sting, right?

Nope. That was it.

Word immediately broke out that TNA officials felt that Hardy was in "no shape to compete" in the match. Everyone knows what that means. He's intoxicated on something. I went back and watched things again, and not only does Jeff look like he has somewhat of a difficult time getting up the ring steps at first, look at his face when the official pre-match introductions are taking place. Specifically, look into his eyes. He's not all there. I've been around people that are high on hard drugs, from crack to heroin to crystal meth. I know what people look like when they're messed up on those types of things. Jeff will deny it, I'm sure, as will the right people in charge of things in TNA, but what we saw tonight at Victory Road was a Jeff Hardy that was high as a kite on something much harder than marijuana. Maybe it was just pills. There are only a small handful of people in the world right now that know the truth.

An early report stated that Sting told Dixie Carter that he wasn't going to go out there and have any sort of long match with Jeff in the condition he was in. You're talking about a 50-something World Champion who, by all accounts, isn't even close to 100% physically, and a high-off-his-ass risk-taking opponent. Had they went out there and tried a "normal" match, there's a good chance that someone would have been seriously injured.

What now, though? Where does TNA go? What do TNA fans do?

First and foremost, you have to blame TNA for this. It's not like Jeff Hardy has been Saint-like to this point. They brought him in, knowing his history, and also, knowing his potential future with all of these drug charges that he's facing. They threw everything into his basket, pushing him like crazy, and this isn't the first time that we've heard reports about him showing up to work in no condition to perform. They were so focused on trying to get ratings and trying to one-up WWE that they completely ignored the man's health and well-being. It's sickening, and everyone who has any sort of power in TNA should be ashamed of themselves because of it.

You also have to blame Jeff Hardy himself. Obviously. He's in a high-profile spot in the business he loves. He has a wife and a four-month-old daughter at home that he needs to be concerned about. I don't give a fuck what his reasons are.. for him to place himself in that much danger with a NEWBORN BABY at home shows an incredibly selfish person who is more messed up than anyone might realize. Look, I understand that addiction is a powerful thing, and that it alters the way people make decisions, but if a brand new baby isn't enough to make him realize what he's doing is wrong, what's it going to take?

Where TNA goes from here is anyone's guess, really. If I had to make a prediction, though, I think we'll see Jeff Hardy booted from Immortal on Impact this week. Hulk Hogan will say that Hardy embarrassed the group by losing such an important match in such a quick fashion. If the company was smart (yeah, I know), they wouldn't mention anything about drugs or Jeff's condition. Just have Hogan put over how important the opportunity was for Jeff to bring the TNA World Title back to the group, and how he failed. Kick him out of the group, and that's it. That leaves him open to seek some sort of help. Perhaps that help is going to prison. Perhaps that help is going to rehab. Either way, it's an open-ended storyline. If he avoids prison time and can get himself cleaned up, they can bring him back down the road to get his revenge against Hogan and his cronies. If he does get prison time, or if he avoids prison time but refuses rehab, you're not using him, anyway, and eventually, people will forget about him.

I just can't get over how much everyone botched the entire main event. If it's clear to people at home that Jeff Hardy wasn't in any condition to compete, it damn sure should have been clear to everyone backstage. Someone should have stepped in and changed the match on the fly. You're talking about a pay-per-view, folks. People paid money, in a recession, to watch Victory Road. To give them that main event is basically slapping every single one of your fans in the face. With all of that extra time left in the show, and with the heels being in charge, how difficult would it have been for Hogan and/or Bischoff to come out after the match was over and book another match? Bring Matt Hardy (who had the best non-gimmick match of his career tonight) out to face Sting. Bring Hernandez out to face Sting. On second that, no, don't do that. Hernandez isn't the safest or smartest worker, and would probably injure Sting. Hell, Hogan and Bischoff could have brought Abyss out in his return to the company. Sting and Matt Hardy, or Sting and Abyss, could have put on a 10-15 minute match on the fly (it's not like any of them are new to the business or anything), and Sting could have walked out with the title again. Something. Anything. Just don't alienate your loyal fan base. The people that have stuck with you through everything, and have defended you through every booking decision that you've made. Now you're stealing money from them.

Before I go, I want to take the time to do something a little different. I know that there's little to no chance he'll read this, but I wanted to address Jeff Hardy himself for a little bit.

Jeff, I know you've heard this from people in your life before, but, as a wrestling fan, and as someone who has seen this far too many times in the past, I'm asking you to get some help for yourself. You're only 33 years old. At the rate you're going, you'll be joining the already-too-long list of professional wrestlers who have died before the age of 40. I know I've made a lot of jokes about you in the past, but this is real.. for you, for your fans, for your friends, for your family, for your wife, for your little girl.. please don't continue going down the path that you're currently walking down. Even if it means having to spend some time in prison, Jeff. Your prison sentence isn't forever. The sentence that you're asking for, otherwise, is.

Writer's Note: In case you missed it, folks, today marked the start of Hustle Madness 2011. Go ahead and click the following link to be taken to the opening round brackets and get your vote on..

Hustle Madness 2011

The HiPE Playlist: Nothing tonight.

I'm single! I love being single! I haven't had this much sex since I was a Boy Scout leader!

-------------------------Day 438

9:00pm: Starting off the show with The Rock.. and he's via satellite again.

9:02pm: Oh, Lord.. this entire Cena/Rock storyline is getting ridiculously corny at this point. Can we just get these two in the same fucking room at the same fucking time? All this talk is getting boring.

9:05pm: So, once again, The Rock has just buried the entire WWE roster and everyone that has worked for the company in the last several years. If John Cena is so untalented, what does that say about the rest of the roster through the years, since Cena has beaten them so many times? I just don't get who benefits from Rock burying the company like this, because he isn't even on the roster.

9:07pm: ..and the segment gets even cornier with the cheesy dramatic music playing, out of nowhere, when The Rock begins to address The Miz. This is terrible, but I'm sure the IWC is eating it up with a spoon.

9:10pm: LMMFAO @ Michael Cole sitting in a huge plexiglass box, to make sure Jerry Lawler doesn't attack him. That's a great visual.

9:11pm: The Miz gets to talk now. They going to have a John Cena promo after this, just to drag this all on even further?

9:15pm: Even more over-the-top facial expressions. Actually, it's just one expression. It's the same lower-jaw-sticking-out-like-he-has-a-severe-underbite-while-he-shakes-like-he's-freezing-cold shit that a teenager would do if they were cutting "promos" in the mirror, thinking they look "tough". The Miz needs to realize that, while he's supposed to be serious in this role, he's not a "tough guy" heel. He doesn't need to make the facial expressions as if he were. It doesn't work.

9:19pm: John Cena VS Alberto Del Rrrrrio tonight, and The Miz VS The Great Khali right now. Well.. at least Cena/ADR has potential to be entertaining, I guess.

9:23pm: At least it was quick. Alex Riley with the attempted save.

9:25pm: Miz cut Khali's lower back up pretty good with that chair. Ouch. He broke the chair into several pieces.

9:27pm: Damnit, if you're going to air the Snickers Peanut Butter Squared commercial, at least air the full version. The shark at the end always makes me laugh when he says "Eat both squares, please" in that deep-ass voice.

9:31pm: Not a lot of action taking place on this episode so far. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but it's still annoying.

9:34pm: That was quite the loud slap that Snooki just hit Vickie Guerrero with. Funniest part of that entire backstage segment, though, is the fact that John Morrison was sitting down, and was still taller than a standing Snooki.

9:39pm: Daniel Bryan VS Sheamus. Please save us, Mr Bryan. At this point, it doesn't even matter who wins or loses this match. I just want to see something exciting. I want a match that lasts longer than a minute or two. That's not asking for too much, is it?

9:44pm: Hard-hitting so far. Good sign. These two have pretty good in-ring chemistry together.

9:49pm: Beautiful counter by Sheamus, with a Brogue Kick to Daniel Bryan, who was flying through the air. We have a new United States Champion, but I can't be angry at that. It was a good match. One of the best on WWE television in a long time, although that isn't saying much.

9:52pm: Someone from Jerry Lawler's past? I guess this is where "The Mouth Of The South" Jimmy Hart comes into the storyline. He probably won't get much of a crowd reaction, though, unfortunately. If the company really wanted to be slick, they'd bring out Sleazy, Cheesy or Queasy for this segment. Look it up, youngsters.

9:57pm: I dig the storyline a lot, but damn, I still can't fully wrap my head around the fact that Jerry Lawler is facing Michael Cole at WrestleMania this year. Amazing.

9:59pm: It's Grand Master Sexay! The years have certainly not been kind to him. He looks older than his father does.

10:01pm: All that dancing around he did, and now this fool is out of breath, and it's hurting his promo.

10:02pm: The crowd is silent for this. I think the only person alive marking out for this is LoP's very own anonymous.

10:04pm: He's still out of breath.

10:05pm: IT'S JIM ROSS! YES! YES! YES!

10:07pm: Come on, WWE.. let good ol' JR call the Lawler/Cole match. Pretty please? I'd rather he call the entire show, but I'll gladly settle for the one match.

10:11pm: Jack Swagger is out and he locks Jim Ross in the Ankle Lock.

10:12pm: You know, for someone who's been doing commentary for years, shouldn't Cole be able to repeat more than the same one or two lines over and over again at this point?

10:13pm: lol @ Ross going into oversell mode for Michael Cole's version of the Ankle Lock. That was like Shawn Michaels overselling everything Hulk Hogan did at SummerSlam 2005 to mock him.

10:14pm: Edge & Christian are getting a shot at the Tag Team Titles on Smackdown. Oh, no.

10:18pm: Randy Orton VS Mason Ryan. Here's the real test of Ryan's standing on Raw.

10:24pm: Well, he sort of failed the test. He lost the match, but he did get a lot of offense in.

10:26pm: ..and now, Randy Orton has taken out every single member of the NexSES and has sent them all back to FCW. The IWC bitches when Cena eliminates the NexSES in the Royal Rumble, but they mark out for Orton, week in and week out, beating down the entire group and taking them all out. Fucking hypocrites.

10:33pm: lol @ Drew Carey being inducted into the WWE Hall Of Fame this year. Eh, sure, why not?

10:35pm: It would have been pretty funny if, during the Drew Carey video package, they showed clips of Brian Kendrick's recent appearance on The Price Is Right.

10:37pm: Wait.. that's all the interaction we're going to get between Zack Ryder and Snooki?!? You missed the boat, WWE. All we got is Snooki saying Ryder's abs are nice. That's it. Boo. Boo to that.

10:41pm: LMAO @ the person holding a "St. Louis <3's Snooki" sign as Snooki walks out. The sign wasn't funny, but the person looked pissed off like Snooki killed their entire family or something.

10:43pm: Vickie Guerrero got back.

10:46pm: Not a lot of time left in this episode, and there's still another match to go, so I'm guessing Trish Stratus VS Vickie Guerrero isn't going to go very long. For good reason, I suppose.

10:48pm: lol @ Vickie trying to fence with one of her shoes. That was pretty funny.

10:49pm: Vickie wins! Thank goodness. The WWE wouldn't be the same without Vickie and her diabolical shrillery.

10:50pm: A decently loud "Snooki" chant from the crowd. File that away under "things I never thought I'd hear from a pro wrestling audience". Wow.

10:51pm: Snooki already performs the Thesz Press better than Trish Stratus ever did. Interesting.

10:51pm: lol @ "YOU'RE NOT EVEN A GIRL, MORRISON!" - I think it was Dolph Ziggler that said it, but it wasn't on camera, so I'm not totally sure.

10:52pm: Lord help us all.. Snooki has a match at WrestleMania. People are going to be upset about it, I'm sure, but damn, take all of the mainstream publicity that the company has received for Snooki appearing on Raw. Now multiply that by 20, because that's how much publicity the company is going to receive with Snooki in a match.

10:58pm: Another nice Sin Cara vignette.

10:59pm: Another Shawn Michaels interview about The Undertaker and Triple H. Wow.. the Cena/ADR match is really running short on time. A 90-second main event?!? Who would do such a thing?!?

11:04pm: The main event is beginning, damn near five minutes after the top of the hour. Yikes.

11:06pm: A commercial break?!? Now?!?

11:12pm: Brodus Clay attacks Cena, causing a disqualification.

11:12pm: Wait.. WHAT? The Rock is here?!?

11:12pm: LMMFAO @ The Miz coming out, dressed as The Rock, complete with bald wig and everything. Best (worst?) part of the entire thing is that you could just about literally hear the wind leaving the crowd's sails when they realized it wasn't actually The Rock. That's actually pretty cruel. It's the second time that a WWE crowd has heard Rock's music in the last month, only to be incredibly disappointed when they realized he wasn't there. It led to a silent crowd last time, and it's leading to a silent crowd this time. Perhaps the WWE should learn their lesson and not do it anymore. If you're going to play Rock's music, Rock damn well better be about to walk out onto the stage.

11:18pm: The crowd simply didn't care about any of that beatdown. Even when he has nothing to do with it, The Rock is ruining this feud, ladies and gentlemen.

Interesting episode this week. We finally got a good wrestling match. Thank you, Daniel Bryan. Thank you, Sheamus. We got the return of Jim Ross, even though, for now, it seems like it was for nothing more than to further along the Cole/Lawler storyline and make Michael Cole a bigger heel. Snooki was a lot more entertaining than most people probably expected, perhaps because she was limited in what she was allowed to do. Not a whole lot to praise otherwise. The show got off to a really bad start with a terribly corny Rock promo, followed by Miz cutting the same promo he's been cutting since this entire storyline began. Lots of silent moments from the crowd. Still, it's an improvement on last week, so the grade will show it. C+ this week. Hooray improvement. I guess.

Writer's Note: Hustle Madness? Why, yes, it is posted and ready for you to cast your votes. Click the following link to do so..

Hustle Madness 2011

The HiPE Playlist: Raw.

Yo, you a serious little nerd.

No, I am a serious little nerd. You see, I use verbs. Verbs are our friends. They help move along our sentences.

Source: lordsofpain.net