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Raw emanated from Portland, Oregon, where the people are particular about how “Oregon” is pronounced. Thanks, Josh Matthews, for pronouncing it the way I pronounce it…even though it will probably annoy Oregonians, who prefer it pronounced the way Lawler later pronounced it.

Highlights:

The WWE eulogized “Macho Man” Randy Savage in a video package.

Bret Hart was there…and he’s still got it.

Ricardo Rodriguez ran over The Big Show with a 2011 Ferrari Spider.

New Tag Team Champions: David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty

R-Truth wants his son back.

Match Summary:

David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty defeated Big Show and Kane by pinfall.

Jack Swagger defeated Evan Bourne by pinfall.

Brie and Nikki Bella, Maryse, and Melina v. Beth Phoenix, Gail Kim, Eve Torres, and Kelly Kelly. No match.

Kofi Kingston defeated Drew McIntyre by pinfall.

John Cena and Rey Mysterio defeated R-Truth and CM Punk by pinfall.

Opening Promo:

Jerry “the King” Lawler came out to the center ring to cut a post-foot-kissing match promo. Lawler declared that the national nightmare was over: Michael Cole had been beaten. He knew Cole would weasel out of actually kissing his foot; so Lawler had a backup plan…which was Bret “the Hitman” Hart. Hart’s music hit, and he got a huge pop from the crowd as he came down to the ring. After playing to Portland and to RAW fans, Hart declared that, despite his historical differences with Lawler, he always respected Lawler. Hart, along with the rest of the world, had NO respect for Michael Cole, and he was happy to be there to help Lawler.

At this point, R-Truth came out to his sans-music entrance. As he made his way to the ring, he admonished the crowd not to boo him, said repeatedly that it was an honor to be in Hart’s presence, and that he couldn’t believe his eyes. Truth asked Hart if he was a ninety-time WWE Champion, and Hart responded that it was something like that. While the crowd was booing Truth, Truth told Hart, “Don’t listen to them”…as if they were booing Hart…Classic! Truth asked Hart if he knew how many title matches that Truth has had. A big zeeero. Truth told Hart his life story about how rapping and dancing for the fans had not gotten him anywhere because he never gave the fans anything. He then told Bret Hart, “Help me to help you to help me” and borrowed Hart’s sunglasses. Truth, in a hilarious move, went to the barricade to find an eager fat little white kid on whom he could bestow Bret Hart’s pair of sunglasses. He put the sunglasses on
this little Jimmy, posed with him, said he was now the nice R-Truth, said that now he was next in line for a title match. When the crowd booed, Truth said, “I don’t think so,” took the sunglasses back, and reentered the ring. Truth then explained to Hart that, after taking out John Morrison and defeating Rey Mysterio the previous night, Truth realized that actions speak louder than words. Beating up a Hall-of-Famer was on the agenda for tonight. Bret Hart, who’s still got it, by the way, told Truth that he got title matches because he was the Best there is, the Best there was, and the Best there ever will be. Truth hasn’t had any title matches because he is a lunatic. R-Truth got angry and said that he would not be disrespected…and Cena’s music hit.

Cena hobbled out to the ring and said that it’s about time that he and Truth had a little talk. Cena said that he and Truth used to be cool. Truth cut him off and exclaimed, “Used-to is a rooster from Brewster!!” (It sounded better than it looks in print). Truth then made the point that Jericho made last summer: that the entire conspiracy is about Cena. He added that the people make sure that everything is all about John Cena. Cena countered that Cena makes sure it’s about the fans. Truth belittled the fans who buy Cena’s newest shirt, wear his newest wristband, and see his newest movies.

Then, out of nowhere, Truth screams, “I want my son back!!!” WHAT!? (I have no idea where that came from. And the announce team did a good job of acting like they also had no idea.)

After pausing for a moment to collect his thoughts, Truth said that Cena and Hart were the same. They were propaganda machines. Truth stated that he did not care about anyone. At this point, the anonymous GM sent an e-mail. The GM agreed that Truth was impressive last night at Over the Limit, but he still needed to see more from Truth before granting him a title match. So, the main event for tonight’s RAW will be a tag-team match: R-Truth and CM Punk versus John Cena and Rey Mysterio…with special guest referee Bret Hart. A furious R-Truth left the ring angrily. Bret Hart re-gifted his sunglasses back to little Jimmy, and Cena followed behind to say hi to little Jimmy.

Backstage, Kane and The Big Show were by the arena’s loading area talking about their match against New Nexxus. Big Show was leaning / sitting on a black car which was kept kinda off camera until Ricardo Rodriguez came over to them hurriedly to admonish them. Big Show smushed Rodriguez in the face and sent him flying about ten feet and into the floor. The Essence of Excellence Alberto Del Rio then came over to them. Del Rio, who seemed angry, referred to Big Show as a “malditto fenomeno” and referred to the champs as “perros infelices”. He yelled at the champs to respect his things and keep their hands of his stuff. Kane, who couldn’t be bothered with Del Rio, started to walk away, and Del Rio warned him, “Si, vete.” As it turns out, the car on which Big Show was leaning was Del Rio’s 2011 Ferrari Spider, worth $250,000.

WWE Tag Team Title Match:
Big Show and Kane versus David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty

CM Punk was on commentary with Josh Matthews for this match. The King commented that if CM Punk and Mason Ryan couldn’t win the titles last night at the pay-per-view, then he didn’t think that anyone could take the titles from Big Show and Kane…foreshadowing? This match was forgettable. I ran out of fingers counting Otunga’s botched moves. Again, Kane was not believable as the partner getting beaten on and needing to make the hot tag. The end of this match was excellent in that it was intricate and surprising. Big Show grabbed McGillicutty’s neck to signal an upcoming choke slam. Mason Ryan climbed the ring apron. Kane sloppily clotheslined Ryan off the apron, with his momentum carrying him over the top rope, too. Otunga ran to Big Show, who grabbed his neck with the other hand. As the crowd prepared to witness a double choke slam, CM Punk climbed the ring apron and kicked Big Show in the back of the head. McGillicutty and Otunga
then administered a DDT to Big Show, who flipped over towards the very center of the ring upon impact. McGillicutty covered Big Show; the referee came over; and McGillicutty scored the pinfall. Winners and new WWE Tag Team Champions: David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty.

From the announce table, Lawler announced the next pay-per-view event, Capitol Punishment, and the cartoon poster featuring a caricature of President Obama was displayed.

Next, this week’s promotion about That’s What I Am focused on the Randy Orton DVD signing at a Wal-Mart in St. Louis. The promo showed long lines and happy fans who commented on being able to meet Orton. (No biggie…my fraternity brother Spicer met Orton in Strong Island, NY). When a parent of a kid in line talked about the anti-bullying message and how it applies to her scrawny son, the promo on That’s What I Am turned into the anti-bullying message. I was glad to…again… hear the anti-bullying message on RAW because my DVR did not successfully record this week’s GLEE.

Backstage, the new middle-aged interviewer guy tried to interview Big Show and Kane about their loss. Show was not happy and screamed at his interviewer. Then, the situation took a turn towards the awesome. A smiling Del Rio came over and made a comment that referred to either Otunga and McGillicutty being tough or Big Show and Kane not being so tough…then he slapped Big Show and ran away off-camera. As Big Show gave chase, the cameraman was knocked over and the screen got f’d up for a moment, during which there was the sound of a car, a crash, and a scream. Once the camera was restored, the scene was Del Rio laughing behind his Ferrari, which was being driven by Ricardo Rodriguez. Big Show was lying on the floor, doubled over in pain. Some items on a cart were knocked over. Ricardo Rodriguez ran over Big Show and hit him in the right knee with the Ferrari. Big Show writhed in pain. Kane, that kind and loving soul, tended to his friend
rather than to give chase to Del Rio. Kane beckoned EMTs to come over.

After commercial, Big Show was stabilized and was being tended to by EMTs. It seemed like they had a heart monitor with them, but it was beeping way to slowly to be hooked up to Big Show’s heart after getting hit by a car. Big Show insisted on making it to his feet and refused to sit or lie on a stretcher. Big Show had a real problem putting any weight on his right knee. This post-commercial portion of the segment did not add much to the scene overall.

Jack Swagger versus Evan Bourne

Swagger overpowered Bourne from the opening lock-up and continued dominance with punches and elbows. Swagger hit what looked like a Rock Bottom and earned a near-fall. Swagger then applied an arm bar that turned into an elbow lock. Swagger missed his weird splash in the corner, and Bourne tried to capitalize with some kicks to Swagger’s leg. Swagger attempted an ankle lock, but Bourne rolled through and out of it. After a couple of reversals of some moves, Swagger hit a Powerbomb and earned the pinfall. Winner by pinfall: Jack Swagger.

After the match, Swagger ran around the ring in a circle as he likes to do. During his last lap, he was greeted by Bourne’s foot and was knocked down. Bourne ran away and smiled from the top of the entrance ramp. Swagger was furious.

Backstage, Michael Cole did a sort-of walk of shame by some snickering technicians and by four divas, including Eve. Cole offered his hand to Eve, who responded by lifting her leg up to offer Cole her foot. Cole despondently removed his hand and continued on his way.

After commercial, the WWE graphic stated that RAW was the #1 show on cable TV last Monday, beating out several other networks…including Bravo, which meant that RAW beat out the season premier of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Fast Five has grossed $506 Million so far this year and is the top-grossing movie of 2011.

Michael Cole came out to a chorus of “You suck toes” chants. Cole stood before the announce table and offered what seemed like a sincere apology to the King, Josh Matthews, the timekeeper, the fans in Portland, and everyone at home. He apologized for his reprehensible behavior and iterated that he just wanted to come home to the announce booth and sit next to the King and do commentary like he has done every week. Lawler said that it sounded good and thanked Cole for the professional apology. He also thanked Cole for giving him the photo for this years Christmas cards. On the monitor, the photo of a JR’s BBQ sauce-covered Michael Cole on his stomach in the Sharpshooter with a mouthful of Lawler’s foot. Cole acknowledged that he deserved it. Lawler also plugged Altoids, and the cameraman focused on the Altoids tin for about four seconds before Lawler handed it to Cole.

The Miz’ music sounded, and the Miz came to the ring with Alex Riley. Miz took the mic and iterated that there was only one reason why he did not win the championship last night…Because of A-Ri. This was not a one-time phenomenon, as the Miz recounted several instances of A-Ri’s actions costing him victory. It was not Cena that fought a handicapped match last night: it was the Miz. Miz then asked the anonymous General Manager for another chance at Cena for the WWE Championship, with the stipulation that A-Ri would be banned from ringside. After several seconds, the GM responded by saying that the Miz’ request was denied. The Miz is done with John Cena. Miz then slowly turned towards A-Ri and declared that this was all A-Ri’s fault. A-Ri countered by reminding Miz that, ‘It wasn’t like I said I quit;” so he couldn’t have cost Miz the match. A furious Miz flipped out and began to bully A-Ri in a manner that the anti-bullying
campaigns would protest. If it weren’t for the Miz, then A-Ri would not even be in the WWE. Miz then fired A-Ri from his personal services contract. He then smushed A-Ri in the face. This ignited A-Ri, who retaliated with a series of punches. The battle spilled outside, and A-Ri threw Miz into the barricade. A-Ri continuously punched Miz and ripped his button-down shirt into shreds. A-Ri then threw Miz over the announce table, rammed his head into the table, and then threw Miz back into the ring. Chants of “Riley! Riley!” began. The beat-down continued. A-Ri then screamed something at Miz, threw him from the corner to the center of the ring, and then paused at the ropes. A-Ri delivered one more stomp to the head, for good measure. Miz was laid-out in the center of the ring in a seemingly semi-conscious state. Miz had some huge welts on his back from last night’s I-Quit match.

8-Diva Tag-Team Match:
Brie and Nikki Bella, Maryse, and Melina v. Beth Phoenix, Gail Kim, Eve Torres, and Kelly Kelly.

With all the divas there, what was Kharma going to do? The match started with Kelly Kelly and one of the Bellas. Kelly Kelly executed a Lou Thesz Press, slapped Bella in the ass, and then did her running bulldog. At this point, Kharma came out, and all eight divas stopped what they were doing to focus on the threat. Beth Phoenix seemed to be the one organizing the divas to meet the threat. As Kharma entered the ring, the line of divas evolved into a circle. Who was Kharma going to choose? Kharma, with a poorly-chosen shade of lipstick, looked around and then went down to her knees. She then began to cry, followed by talking to herself…followed by the segment ending with more questions and less answers. For the match result, the assumption is: No Match.

Kofi Kingston v. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre came out to only the second portion of his entrance music…as had happened since his de-push. McIntyre began the match as the aggressor, focusing on Kingston’s knee. Kingston either mis-timed a jump or landed wrong, but he ended up clutching at his knee. McIntyre then really began to focus on the knee, ramming the knee into the steel post outside the ring and following that up with a figure-four around the steel post. Kofi hobbled around and regained some momentum when he countered McIntyre. McIntyre attempted to lift Kingston up by his foot, and Kingston countered with a huge kick to the head. Kingston then hit the boom drop. He then signaled for the Trouble in Paradise, but his knee gave out before reaching McIntyre. McIntyre then hit a running Powerbomb on Kingston, but Kingston kicked out at two. McIntyre then had Kingston in the corner and delivered two stiff clotheslines. McIntyre attempted one more clothesline in the center of the ring, but Kingston countered it and then executed his Arm Trap somersault STO (Space Tornado Ogawa) for the pinfall. Winner by pinfall: Kofi Kingston.

Backstage, a re-blonded Dolph Ziggler was sitting on a couch with Vickie Guerrero watching Kingston’s match in earnest.

WWE aired a promo for Capitol Punishment in the press-conference style that Coors Lite uses with NFL coaches. Reporters asked WWE-related questions and plugged-in Obama’s answers on other topics.

After commercial, WWE aired yet another ant bullying promo. Several superstars and divas warned that no one likes a bully…not in school, at church, at the library, at the zoo. Also, Daniel Bryan said no one likes cyber-bullies. Again, I’m glad for these anti-bullying promos because it allows me to get my anti-bullying fix before I get the chance to watch GLEE over and over again.

Backstage, Alberto Del Rio was being interviewed. A clearly agitated Del Rio said that he didn’t know what to say. Big Show brought this on himself by disrespecting Del Rio. If you disrespect Del Rio, you gotta pay. However, he did not expect this to happen. This was not Del Rio’s fault. It was all Ricardo’s fault. Ricardo was an idiot. Ricardo was a “malditto chumaco baboso.” At ringside, a sedate Michael Cole added that Big Show had been brought to a local medical facility and that maybe they’ll have an update on his condition later.

The next five minutes were devoted to eulogizing “Macho Man” Randy Savage. Jerry Lawler set up the video package with some really nice words. The package itself began with photos accompanied by a soft piano-only version of “Pomp and Circumstance” and an announcer-type voice saying nice things about Savage and his career overall. The next segment featured some more still shots set to an orchestral version of “Pomp and Circumstance” and a eulogy that mentioned specifics such as the famous Wrestlemania III match with Ricky Steamboat and his Slim Jim catch-phrase. Next, video clips of interviews, memorable quotes, matches, signature moves, and entrances with different outfits was set to the song The Scientist by Coldplay. It was a nice, respectful package.

Main Event:

John Cena and Rey Mysterio versus R-Truth and CM Punk

Bret Hart came out first. As Hart entered, Lawler thanked Cole for showing the 1995 footage from the original Kiss-My-Foot match because it gave him the idea to call Bret Hart for yesterday’s pay-per-view match. Cole responded that he didn’t think he’ll ever be able to get the taste of Lawler’s foot out of his mouth.

Cena and Truth began the match. Truth lunged at Cena but missed completely. Cena countered with a series of punches and throws, culminating in throwing Truth cleanly over the top rope and down to the floor. After the commercial break, Punk was on top of Cena in the corner. Cena then went into a Super Cena mini-mode by executing a running bulldog and then a suplex on Punk. Punk then stomped on Cena and tagged in Truth. Truth continued with more stomps. Truth then whipped Cena into the corner, and Cena reallllly slowed down before his chest made impact with the turnbuckle. Truth earned a near-fall. Cena mounted a bit of offense, and Truth quickly tagged Punk. Punk came in and executed his moves with a deliberateness and smoothness that we come to expect from him. Beautiful Russian leg sweep and roll-over into a cover for a near-fall. Punk tagged Truth, who hit a suplex on Cena and earned a near-fall. Truth, not happy with Hart’s slow count, got in Hart’s face and yelled at him. Hart did not back down at all, yelling right back at Truth. Truth then whipped Cena to the corner but met Cena’s boot in the face when he charged him. Truth tagged-in Punk. Cena went for the STF, but Punk kicked him off and away. Punk attempted the GTS, but Cena blocked it and hit a DDT. Cena inched desperately towards his corner to tag Mysterio. Punk grabbed Cena’s foot to prevent the hot tag, but Cena punched him away and then lunged to his corner to make the hot tag. Rey executed a series of quick moves, earning a two-count when R-Truth came in and made the save. As Truth celebrated with his back to Mysterio, Mysterio drop-kicked him in the back, causing him to land in 619-receipt position. Punk interfered with the 619 and then attempted a GTS, which was countered and turned into a head-scissor throw and landed Punk in the 619-receipt position. Mysterio executed a nice 619. Bret Hart then decked Punk and applied the Sharpshooter to him in the center of the ring. While held down, Mysterio landed a leg drop from the top rope on Punk. Bret Hart then released the Sharpshooter and counted the pinfall. Winners by pinfall: John Cena and Rey Mysterio. Cena, Mysterio, and Hart continued to celebrate in the ring, and the credits began to roll.

Source: wrestlingtruth.com