1. Day 485 - Extreme Rules Preview

2. Day 486 - SummerSlam Predictions

2.5 Day 487 - Raw Running Diary

4. Day 488 - Bad Time To Be A Peep

5. Day 489 - A New Heat Magnet?

6. Day 490 - One of these days, Alice. Pow! Pushed to the moon.

7. Day 491 - Smackdown Running Diary

Day 485

Extreme Rules is now upon us. It should come as no surprise to anyone then that it's prediction time here on The HIPE Train. Uh-huh.. you know what it is..

Rey Mysterio VS Cody Rhodes - Falls Count Anywhere Match
As I've mentioned on several occasions, Cody Rhodes might be the early choice for WWE MVP in 2011. He's come so far with his new character in such a short amount of time. His "Dashing" character was already standing out, but this new twist on it, with Cody feeling that he's a disfigured freak and is out for revenge on Rey Mysterio for injuring him in the first place, has been fantastic. This is the end of the feud, as Mysterio was drafted to Raw, so I'm expecting both of them to go all out here. There's two lines of thinking for picking a winner here. On one hand, you'd think that Rey should get a big victory to "win" the feud and move to Raw with some momentum. On the other hand, Rhodes needs the momentum more than Mysterio does, and could become a legit main event contender with a feud-ending victory here. I think I'm going to pick against "WWE logic" here. Perhaps this is more of me hoping than anything else, but I think Cody Rhodes is set to have a huge 2011 on Smackdown, and a win here launches him in that direction.
Winner: Cody Rhodes

Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross VS Michael Cole & Jack Swagger - Country Whipping Match
Lord have mercy. The Lawler/Cole match at WrestleMania went on entirely too long, and is the leading cause of suicide, worldwide, so far in 2011. Any sort of repeat here is going to cause some sort of a riot with the Tampa crowd. If this match ends in any way other than Michael Cole tapping out or getting pinned, followed by him blaming Swagger for the loss, followed by Swagger finally having enough of Cole's yelling and laying him out.. well, not only will I lose faith in the WWE Creative Team, but I'll also boycott any segment involving anyone in this match for a while. Do the right thing, WWE. If you don't want to listen to me, then listen to Spike Lee..

Nobody wants to see this feud continue. Even the people I've talked to that actually like Michael Cole's whole character think this entire storyline has gone on for far too long and needs to come to an end this weekend, one way or another. I'm really crossing my fingers.
Winners: Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross

Layla VS Michelle McCool - No Disqualification, No Count-Out, Loser Leaves WWE Match
If this match was just announced with no news bits that came before it, everyone and their mother would be finding ways to send their condolences to Layla for the pink slip that she's about to receive. However, the match did come with news bits from before the announcement. Apparently, The Undertaker has requested that his wife (McCool, for those out of the loop) join him at home while he's away from WWE television, which led to the somewhat last-minute change to the match (which would explain the hasty edit job on Smackdown, when it went from a Loser Leaves Smackdown Match to the current stipulation). Now, it appears almost obvious that Layla will get the win here, sending McCool away for the next several months, as you've gotta think Taker will be off the road until at least the end of the year. It could even lead to some sort of push for Layla afterwards, but let's not get too ahead of ourselves. Hopefully these two can continue the momentum they built up on Smackdown this week, putting on an interesting fight for a few minutes, as the entire storyline has featured the most entertaining work that either woman has participated in since joining the company. We shall see.
Winner: Layla

Randy Orton VS CM Punk - Last Man Standing Match
Another interesting match here. Like with the Mysterio/Rhodes match, there are multiple ways to look at this match and who could/should win. Since Orton is about to move to Smackdown, where it will clearly be his show, title or not, logic would lead you to believe he needs a big win here to put an end to this feud so that he can show up strong on Friday nights. Of course, Orton has looked strong for 126 consecutive weeks, including every single week of the Punk feud, so it's not like he needs the help that a win would give him. Then, going back to the other side of things, there's the stuff I mentioned the other day about Punk possibly being de-pushed and potentially set to leave the company soon. Punk's finisher is better-suited to win a match of this type, and he also has some cronies that can come in and help him out. At face value, things should be in Punk's favor here. I just can't shake the idea of Super Orton making another appearance here, though. Punk beats Orton down.. Orton gets back up. Punk hits Orton with Go To Sleep.. Orton gets back up. Mason Ryan, Davod Otunga and Michael McGillicutty interfere and beat Orton down.. Orton gets back up. Orton gets some help (a face turn for Ted DiBiase, perhaps) in getting rid of the rest of the NexSES.. Orton hits Punk with an RKO, then an RKOP.. Punk doesn't get up.. Orton wins. The thought of it all just scares me, and if it actually happens, or something even remotely close to it happens, I might have nightmares for a month. I have no faith at all in the way the Creative Team handles their booking of Randy Orton to call for anything other than an Orton victory here, but I really hope I'm wrong.
Winner: Randy Orton

The Miz VS John Cena VS John Morrison - Triple Threat Cage Match for the WWE Title
Subtracting R-Truth from this match and adding John Morrison improves the workrate a bit, but not by a whole lot. However, I don't think it's too wild an idea to think that Morrison (and Truth before him) is in the match to take the pin/submission, keeping both Miz and Cena looking strong. Cena's been beaten by Miz on multiple occasions at this point, so another loss wouldn't make a whole lot of sense, but it's clear that Miz is being treated as something special, so you don't want him to get "squashed" like people say when they don't understand the word in a wrestling context. If Cena beats Morrison to win the title, Miz has himself an automatic gripe that will land him a rematch. If Miz beats Morrison to retain the title, Cena has himself an automatic gripe that will lead him to fight even harder for another shot, which Miz will surely try to deny him. R-Truth will probably find himself involved somehow, and could even be the reason Morrison loses the match. The Miz continues to have an epic title reign, at least by today's standards. Extreme Rules will mark Day 160 of his reign, which is the longest WWE Title reign since Triple H held the belt for 210 days before dropping it to Edge at the 2008 Survivor Series. Since then, only Randy Orton (June 15th, 2009 - September 13th, 2009) and Sheamus (June 20th, 2010 - September 19th, 2010) have even held the title for 90 days. Miz has already held the title for more days, total, than names like Edge, Ric Flair, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Jericho, Big Show, Batista, Mankind, Jeff Hardy, "Sycho" Sid Vicious and Sgt. Slaughter. Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me at all if his reign went beyond 210 days, which would make it the longest WWE Title reign since John Cena had to vacate the belt after suffering a torn pectoral tendon in October 2007. That would take Miz beyond the Over The Limit and Capitol Punishment pay-per-views, and fittingly, take him into Money In The Bank as the WWE Champion. That sounds like an interesting idea, but first, he must get through Extreme Rules. I think he can do it. Giving him the win at WrestleMania, only to have him drop the title at the next pay-per-view just doesn't fit for me. I think, by hook or by crook (more than likely by crook), Miz walks away with the title in his possession once again. He has just enough on his side to get the win in a cage.. Alex Riley can distract Cena, and Truth can attack Morrison.. this allows Miz to either sneak out of the cage or get the Skull Crushing Finale on Morrison for the victory. Rejoice, Miz fans. It could be another awesome night.
Winner: The Miz (Still WWE Champion)

Christian VS Alberto Del Rrrrrio - Ladder Match for the World Title
Just about everyone alive thinks Christian is a shoo-in to win the World Title here. It certainly makes sense. ADR was drafted to Raw. The Miz, John Cena and John Morrison are all members of the Raw roster. Unless Raw is going to get both the WWE Title and the World Title, even on a temporary basis, Christian winning here just makes sense. In fact, things are pointing so strongly towards Christian that you have to start thinking it might be too good to be true. Christian, of course, is an IWC favorite, and it's no secret the company doesn't always give the IWC what it wants to see. Would anyone really be shocked if ADR wins the title, brings it to Raw, only to have Teddy Long pull a trade to get ADR back on Smackdown? Ricardo Rodriguez and Brodus Clay are still members of the Smackdown roster, after all, and at this stage, there's no point to either one of them without ADR. Another thing is that you've got to expect Randy Orton to be next in line for a World Title shot? Unless he turns heel, putting him up against Christian isn't going to make much sense, and it isn't going to be very fun for Christian or his fans. Orton VS ADR fits, so that's what I'm thinking. Those rumors about a potential Cena VS ADR match at SummerSlam this year? I don't buy them. A lot of this prediction is simply because everyone is picking Christian, so if ADR wins, I look like a genius, but in reality, I'm pretty sure Christian does win and gets the Edge treatment where he drops the title in his first defense at the next pay-per-view. We shall see.
Winner: Alberto Del Rrrrrio (New World Champion)

If the World Title match goes on last, expect Christian to win the title. If the WWE Title match goes on last, look for ADR to win the World Title, and for Cena to end the show by getting some sort of revenge on Alex Riley and/or The Miz.

I'm also thinking we're going to get a United States Title match between Sheamus and Kofi Kingston, based on Sheamus' attack on Kofi this week on Smackdown. If that happens, expect Kofi to win the title and prevent Smackdown from having both midcard titles on the show. However, if my ADR scenario goes down, that would lean towards Sheamus retaining the title, or this match not taking place at all. Then Sheamus or Intercontinental Champion Wade Bar-ruh can be part of Teddy Long's trade to get ADR back on Smackdown with the World Title.

Writer's Note: The brand new LoP Magazine is now officially available for purchase. On the site, you're able to preview the articles, and then you can sign up for a subscription, which will then take you to PayPal. Handle your business, and the rest of the mag will be available for your reading enjoyment. LoP writers like myself, Tito, Morpheus, Mazza, Rey Ca$h and many others have all spent a lot of time and effort in contributing to this project, so please support it by clicking the LoP Magazine logo and doing your thing..

Writer's Note Part Deux: If you follow me on Twitter, you already know what this news is about, but I'm going to turn the month of May into Grind Time, ladies and gentlemen. During May, not only will I deliver an edition of The HIPE every single day, but I'll also be delivering a brand new, totally separate column every single day, and that's not even counting the multiple articles I'll be writing for the second issue of LoP Magazine. 31 days in May, and I'm looking to see if I can do 70 columns. It's fun to push yourself every now and then. Keep your peepers peepin to the LoP main page at some point in the day for my new "series".

The HiPE Playlist: "Who Run It" by Spodee.. "For The People" by Donny Goines, Bobby Creekwater & Mikkey Halsted.. "Cloud Of Endo" by STS, Freddie Gibbs & Tony Williams.. "Certified Shit" by Jackie Chain, Rittz, Jarren Benton & Young Scolla.. "Rocks & Rolls" by PRGz.. "Phone Numbers" by Wiz Khalifa, Trae Tha Truth & Big Sean.. "Cabin Fever" by Wiz Khalifa.. "GangBang" by Wiz Khalifa & Big Sean.. "Hustla" by WC & Juvenile.. "Going Nutz" by Royce Da 5'9

I've just decided to switch our Friday schedule to Monday, which means that the test we take each Friday on what we learned during the week will now take place on Monday, before we've learned it, but since today is Tuesday, it doesn't matter in the slightest. Pencils ready!

Hustle
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-Team Sleep--------------------------Day 486
Who knew Obama was a Hulkamaniac?

*By Request*

Now that Extreme Rules is over and done with, people are already looking ahead to SummerSlam, even though there are a few more pay-per-views in between now and then. People were asking me for a few SummerSlam predictions even before Extreme Rules began, but now that it's over, it's a little easier to try and figure out where things are going.

I guess it's time for me to change my mind about whether or not I think a John Cena VS Alberto Del Rrrrrio for the WWE Title match is going to happen at SummerSlam. I didn't buy it, at first, but my opinion is changing. I want it to be known that I not only predicted a victory for The Miz tonight, but that I wanted a victory for The Miz tonight. Everyone coming me about how I'm probably thrilled that Cena is the new WWE Champion need to head in a different direction with their nonsense. John Cena as the new champion opens the door for a lot of things in the next few months, the first of which is having to grant Miz his rematch. From there, a feud with R-Truth isn't out of the question. If the company is serious about trying to give Truth any sort of push, he should come out on top in that feud. He and Cena have history, of course, and Cena would probably stand up to Truth, wondering what's been wrong with him recently and why his attitude has changed so drastically. Miz and Truth should keep Cena busy for the next few months, while also giving ADR some time to build himself up as a strong, legit contender on Raw for SummerSlam.

Kharma made a nice debut tonight, coming out after the Layla VS Michelle McCool match, hitting McCool with an Implant Buster and sending her off into a storyline-imposed "retirement". Instant reaction is that she's a Smackdown performer now that she came out after a Smackdown match, but I don't necessarily buy into that just yet. I think Kharma will make an appearance or two on both shows before everything is finally settled. She had a picture of The Bella Twins as her Twitter profile picture for a while, which could be a possible indication of where she's headed next. I stand by what I said when Brie Bella won the Divas Title in the first place.. she's a transitional champion, protecting Eve from being smashed, for some reason. I wouldn't be surprised if Kharma is the Divas Champion before the Over The Limit pay-per-view in three weeks. As far as SummerSlam goes, there are a few options. Gail Kim would be a good opponent, based on the chemistry they had in their matches in TNA, but when was the last time Gail Kim was booked to look competent for two weeks in a row, let alone to the point where she'd be competing for the Divas Title? People that care about the Divas division are excited about the idea of a potential feud between Kharma and Beth Phoenix, or even Kharma and Natalya. It's a definite possibility. Melina is also a possibility, if they would like to send some sort of message to her, with as much trouble as she supposedly continues to get in backstage. When Kharma's vignettes began to air, and it looked like she was anti-Barbie, the first name that immediately popped into my head was Kelly Kelly. They've built her up as an underdog in the past, and have shown that they want to push her, so it wouldn't surprise me at all. In fact, that's the match I'm going with. Kharma VS Kelly Kelly for the Divas Title, and it's probably time to start saying your goodbyes to Kelly after Kharma squashes her like a bug.

This is something that was discussed briefly on Twitter earlier, but I think this match makes a lot of sense. Rey Mysterio is a solid enough worker and seller that he can elevate people easily. He gets into some matches with someone and he can make them look like a million bucks. He does it every time he faces off with a "big man" worker, from KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE to Mark Henry to Mike Knox, and everyone else in between. He did it when he faced CM Punk, not that Punk necessarily needed that much help. He did it when he faced Cody Rhodes, and has actually created a potential star in Cody. There's someone on the Raw roster that could really use a feud that makes him look like a million bucks. At face value, people wouldn't assume this person needs too much "help".. you know, since he's fresh off of a five month plus reign as WWE Champion and all.. but the one problem that people had with his title reign is how weak he looked at most times. Escaping with the title, time and time again. Needing tons of interference to accomplish his goals. It would be a nice change of pace for him to ramp up his aggression some more, being pissed that he dropped the WWE Title, and then having his anger grow as he fails to win the title back. Rey Mysterio VS an angry Miz would be fantastic for building Miz in the future, as well as for providing a good match. I've said it on a few occasions, but it's fun when Mysterio faces average-sized wrestlers because they're able to change up their styles so much. The Miz usually doesn't go into his matches as the bigger body, so against Mysterio, he'd be able to use more of a rougher, "bully" style of in-ring work. Combine that with Mysterio's ability to bump around like a pinball, and that's a pretty good recipe for success.

Writer's Note: I have more to type on this subject, but yet another thunderstorm is on the way, and my power has already cut out twice as the storm draws closer. I'm just going to post what I have now before it's too late and I lose everything. I can add more later if the power doesn't go out.

Writer's Note Part Deux: The brand new LoP Magazine is now officially available for purchase. On the site, you're able to preview the articles, and then you can sign up for a subscription, which will then take you to PayPal. Handle your business, and the rest of the mag will be available for your reading enjoyment. LoP writers like myself, Tito, Morpheus, Mazza, Rey Ca$h and many others have all spent a lot of time and effort in contributing to this project, so please support it by clicking the LoP Magazine logo and doing your thing..

The HiPE Playlist: Nothing tonight.

If your bra is too tight, it's uncomfortable. If you're a boy and your bra is too tight, I'm uncomfortable.

-------------------------Day 487
This is some of the shit we were dealing with out here today.

9:00pm: Coming off of a very solid pay-per-view, tonight's episode of Raw is going to be very interesting. We've been promised a huge birthday celebration for The Rock, who will be in attendance from his hometown of Miami, Florida. Pretty much every time Rock is on the show these days, he completely takes over, to the point where it's 88.9% him, and 11.1% the rest of the roster. That hurts the program. Having an entire show dedicated to him scares me a bit.

9:01pm: To no surprise, the show starts with discussion about September 11th, 2001, leading up to WWE holding an episode of Smackdown only two days after the attacks. Still one of the most emotional beginnings to a wrestling program that I can ever remember seeing.

9:03pm: In a beautiful touch, Lilian Garcia has returned to sing the Star Spangled Banner to start the show.

9:05pm: A little too much vocal acrobatics for my liking, but still a fine rendition of the song, leading to a loud "U-S-A" chant.

9:07pm: Raw officially starts with The Rock coming out. I'll tell you this much.. if I don't see Yurple at least once tonight, consider this a failed birthday party.

9:11pm: Rock is the current trainer at the Randy Orton & Mark Calaway School Of Ridiculously Lengthy Entrances.

9:14pm: We had the Star Spangled Banner, and now The Rock is leading the crowd in the Pledge Of Allegiance. Laying it on really thick so far tonight. If someone sings America The Beautiful tonight, there's going to be some angry non-Americans tuning out.

9:17pm: Rock basically just read his own Wikipedia page for a few minutes, and is now being interrupted by the anonymous Raw General Manager. This isn't going to go well for Michael Cole.

9:18pm: ..sure enough..

9:19pm: We're basically getting the same fucking promo from Rock as the night he returned to the company. The "whoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoa.." response to Michael Cole, calling him a "drunk hobbit", etc. Nothing new, after all these weeks?

9:21pm: Michael Cole with a Boston Celtics jersey on for some cheap heat, even though he looks like a fucking idiot now that the Celtics were beaten down by the Miami Heat in Game 1 of the teams' series yesterday.

9:25pm: Rock apologizes to Michael Cole for disrespecting him so often through the years. He offers him a handshake, and you can already see it coming from miles away.

9:25pm: A Rock Bottom and a People's Elbow on Michael Cole. I'm shocked. Once again, Raw devotes damn near an entire half hour to one fucking segment that doesn't deserve that much time, and it's still not done, because Rock wants to keep talking. Now we're getting a performance by lame-ass Pitbull. Jesus Christ. This nigga is talking about Yo Quiero Taco Bell or some shit. The segment just keeps going on and on and on. Can I just give Raw an "F" already?

9:29pm: LeBrick James in a videotaped birthday wish for Rock. It just keeps getting worse. Next thing you know, they're going to have Chris Bosh come out and sing to him while wearing a cocktail dress and posing seductively atop a grand piano.

9:33pm: We're finally about to get a match, and AS I FUCKING TYPE THAT, the match gets put to a stop as R-Truth attacks John Morrison during Morrison's entrance.

9:35pm: The entire heel turn of Truth is continuously being cut out from underneath him. They let him smoke to prove some sort of point, but then the anti-smoking groups threw a fit, and he hasn't been able to do it since. They try to make him some sort of badass heel, and then they make it to where he can't even spell "conspiracy" last night. Don't get me wrong.. I'm about 135% sure that he legitimately can't spell the word, but that's the type of promo that is going to make him an unintentional comedic heel, killing any sort of momentum that they want to build for him.

9:37pm: We go to commercial, still not having seen any in-ring action yet. This is approaching a "G" grade right now.

9:41pm: Kelly Kelly VS Maryse is the first match we're getting tonight. Lawdamercy. Can we get Kharma coming out, at least?

9:42pm: Ha. Almost on cue, it's Kharma. I told you folks she'd be appearing on Raw. Honestly, I don't even care which of the two Divas she goes after. Let her destroy them both. Just get her over.

9:44pm: Or Kharma could just lay Maryse out and leave Kelly Kelly acting horribly in the corner. That works, too, I suppose. On the negative side of things.. we're about 45 minutes into the show, with NO OFFICIAL IN-RING ACTION YET!

9:47pm: Paul Walker is a tool.

9:52pm: Zack Ryder sighting! Sure, he's in the background of a backstage segment, but he's still there.

9:53pm: Santino in a lame character from Rock's new Fast and Furry movie, or whatever the fuck it's called. Hornswoggle comes out as The Scorpion King. The Great Khali comes out dressed in a pink tutu as The Tooth Fairy. All that, just so Ron Simmons can make his triumphant return to say "Damn" again. Holy shit. This is the worst hour in Raw history.

9:57pm: An easy "F" for the first hour of Raw. Unless the second hour ends up being some of the best WWE television I've ever seen, it's not looking good this week.

10:00pm: Odd spot for the WWE Title rematch between John Cena and The Miz, but after what we were given for the first hour, anything is an improvement. If this leads to some more bait and switch bullshit, though, pushing the match back even further, I'm going to lose my shit.

10:03pm: A sign in the crowd with a Charlie Sheen reference. Nice of the Miami crowd to take advantage of pop culture references at the absolute peak of their popularity. I fully expect a Royal Wedding-related sign the next time Miami gets a show, several months from now.

10:09pm: The crowd is hot for this match. No surprise. At least they haven't decided to kill themselves after the garbage they've been given before this match tonight.

10:11pm: Nice match so far. Cena and Miz have definitely built up some in-ring chemistry after having worked together so many times.

10:14pm: Some really believable near falls taking place here. The crowd is really into it.

10:15pm: Miz kicked out of an Attitude Adjustment! Even I got pulled in for that one.

10:15pm: Are you kidding me? Miz is the new WWE Champion?!?

10:16pm: Decision reversed. Cena is still WWE Champion after Miz was basically caught cheating. I was against Cena regaining the WWE Title at this point, but if he would have dropped the belt back 24 hours later, I would have been pissed. I don't give a fuck who it is.. cheap ass title reigns have got to go. All that said, that was a really nice match, especially for television. Good start in trying to turn this episode around.

10:23pm: Tyler Perry needs to burn in hell.

10:24pm: Wow. They're actually airing Cena's post-PPV announcement that Osama Bin Laden was killed? Good decision, in my opinion. It was quite historic. It was definitely news to the large majority of people in attendance.

10:28pm: Rey Mysterio is out for some tag team action. Pause.

10:29pm: Rey's partner? The brand new United States Champion, Kofi Kingston.

10:30pm: Jack Swagger and Drew McIntyre are their opponents. Unfortunately, they're coming out to Jack Swagger's song. Bad choice.

10:35pm: Alberto Del Rrrrrio is on commentary, and it sure sounds like they're going to continue the ADR/Mysterio program, this time on Monday nights. The IWC will say it's old and played out already, but it's brand new and fresh for a large portion of the Raw audience, as they don't watch Smackdown, so they didn't see Rey and ADR feud.

10:39pm: A wrestling program with heels featured on it should never promote anti-bullying campaigns. It completely undermines the product they're putting on television every week. I get that they were basically forced into doing it, but it's still dumb. "Hey, everyone, bullying is wrong, now watch these guys pick on people smaller than them and see as they beat them up for several minutes. Don't forget, though.. bullying is wrong."

10:46pm: Way too much fucking time is being devoted to this Rock birthday celebration. Ridiculous.

10:49pm: We FINALLY get a face-to-face confrontation between Rock and Cena, after the entire show has nearly come and gone. Cena vows to hold the WWE Title all the way until WrestleMania 28, and the mere thought of that makes me shake my head.

10:51pm: Tonight's main event is KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE VS Mason Ryan. Ho. Ly. Shit.

10:56pm: That retarded guy that always dresses up like Hulk Hogan is in attendance. I guarantee you that he's touched a child inappropriately at some point in the last week.

10:58pm: Awful main event, which was basically nothing more than showing how green Mason Ryan still happens to be. He did dominate the Tag Team Champions single-handedly, though, which says a lot about how much they want to push the guy. He performed a really nice Spear on Big Show, though. I'll give him that much.

11:06pm: More Rock knob-slobbing..

11:09pm: VINCE MCMAHON~!!!

11:11pm: Seems like a genuinely emotional Mr. McMahon there. I guess the reports that WrestleMania 27 topped the million-buys mark are true.

11:14pm: While it was a little over-the-top, that was still a really nice video package highlighting Rock's entire life, from his days as a baby until WrestleMania 27. Well done.

11:15pm: Mya's career is toast, but damn, she's still looking fine as all hell.

11:16pm: lol @ "Happy Birthday, The Rock"

#ThankYouEdge: Lilian Garcia returning to sing the Star Spangled Banner.. Kharma destroying another Diva.. John Cena VS The Miz.. The return of Vince McMahon, even if it's only a one-off deal.. The video package for Rock

#FuckYouMattHardy: Yet another long, boring, drawn out 30-minutes to start the show.. John Morrison and R-Truth continuing their feud of nothing but promos, match interference and sneak attacks.. Lame, unfunny backstage segment with Santino, Hornswoggle and The Great Khali.. Cheap, albeit understandable, ending to the Cena VS Miz match.. Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston VS Jack Swagger & Drew McIntyre having all the potential in the world, but basically turning into a 10+ minute segment about another round of matches between Mysterio and Alberto Del Rrrrrio.. Mason Ryan not being ready for the potential push that he's in line to get.. Way, way, way, way, way too much Rock in one episode of Raw

Grade: F

Writer's Note Part Deux: The brand new LoP Magazine is now officially available for purchase. On the site, you're able to preview the articles, and then you can sign up for a subscription, which will then take you to PayPal. Handle your business, and the rest of the mag will be available for your reading enjoyment. LoP writers like myself, Tito, Morpheus, Mazza, Rey Ca$h and many others have all spent a lot of time and effort in contributing to this project, so please support it by clicking the LoP Magazine logo and doing your thing..

The HiPE Playlist: Raw.

We got him.

-------------------------Day 488
Must. Hang out. With. These. Guys.

I know I've done it in the past, but I really don't like discussing spoilers in my columns. There are enough people out there that don't like to have shows spoiled for them, and I don't like having to tell them to purposely skip a day of my columns, but there are just times when something happens, and it needs to be talked about. Today is one of those times. So, consider this your warning, folks.. if you don't want this week's episode of Smackdown to be spoiled for you, come back and visit me tomorrow, when I won't be discussing spoilers. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!!

When the thought of Christian as the World Champion came about, I didn't have a lot of faith that his title reign would be anything special. For one, it took this long for him to reach main event status for a reason. Two, look at the first title reigns of people like Rey Mysterio, Jack Swagger, Sheamus, etc.. they weren't booked to look very special.. which means you had to look at the track record of the Creative Team. Finally, and this is more of a half-serious thing, since Edge is Christian's best friend, I, as well as others, assumed Christian might take Edge's place with the multiple brief title reigns in a short amount of time deal.

Well, here we are, two days after Christian won the title (five days, in the world of wrestling), and he is no longer the champion.

Our new World Heavyweight Champion? Randy Orton.

Title reign not being anything special? Check. Bad Creative Team track record for people's first World/WWE Title reigns? Check. Christian getting the "Edge Special" where he wins the World Title, only to lose it in his first defense? Check. Hey, that's three strikes, and you know what that means.

In my columns, I talk a lot about "face value", and how we initially see certain things. At face value here, people are flipping the fuck out. After all these years, Christian was finally given a chance to be the World Champion, and he dropped the belt mere days later. On top of that, he dropped the title to a man that has seen his popularity in the IWC plummet in recent weeks and months, going from Randy Orton to Super Orton rather quickly. He didn't even get an entire show to celebrate being the champion. He dropped the title on a taped show, where ratings are in the 1.90 range. No pay-per-view. No live show. None of that.

It's no secret that I've become increasingly tired of the Super Orton nonsense. He doesn't sell anything for more than a couple seconds. He doesn't put anyone over. His matches are all slow and methodical, which is usually just a nice way of saying "boring". When he was drafted to Smackdown, I said that it was his opportunity to finally be the top guy on a show. He'll never be bigger than guys like The Undertaker, Triple H and John Cena, so Orton has been no bigger than second fiddle for his entire career. People are comparing him to Mick Foley from when Foley was winning WWF Titles. He had multiple reigns, was very popular, and had a lot going for him, but no matter what he did, he was never bigger than "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, The Rock, Triple H, etc. Everyone and their mother knew Orton would eventually get the World Title, especially with the lack of legit main event names on the Smackdown roster. That's fine and all.. I don't have a problem with Orton winning the World Title. If a storyline is done correctly, I don't have a problem with anyone winning the World Title. However, in this situation.. in this instance.. the storyline wasn't done correctly. That's where the problem is.

To start Smackdown this week, Christian comes out, but it interrupted almost immediately by Mark Henry, who wants a shot at the World Title. Randy Orton then comes out, and he also wants a title shot. The Great Khali comes out, and he wants a title shot. Teddy Long asks the fans which of the three challengers they want to get the shot. Gee, I wonder who the fans would pick? You have a heel, a face that nobody wants to see wrestle, and Randy Orton. Tough choice. More so, when the fuck did title contenders get chosen this way? Why do we even have matches anymore? Why not just bring a champion out, put him in the ring, and put some random challengers up on the big screen? Then you can put a phone number up with texting options, and the fans can vote for who they want to get the title shot. Two minutes later, a winner is chosen.. boom.. we have a title match. If Teddy's going to say it's all about giving the fans what they want, then let's really give them what they want. Hell, no more heels. Only face VS face matches, because in that sense, nobody wants to see a heel. Fuck it.. there's not even the need for title matches. The fans vote for who the #1 Contender is, and then the fans vote on who they like better. If the #1 Contender gets more votes, he's the new champion. Congratulations! Welcome to 2012, WWE!

At face value.. fuck the WWE Creative Team. Fuck the thought of Super Orton running wild on Friday nights. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Here's where things get interesting, though. If you look deeper than face value, there might be something to this title change. Christian was very emotional in winning his first World Title, and rightfully so. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that he'd be upset. Upset that he lost the title. Upset that he wasn't prepared for a match with Randy Orton on Smackdown this week. Upset enough that he just might have to act on his emotions.

That's right.. a heel turn for Christian. In my Draftermath column last week, I said that the Smackdown main event scene was "so lopsided towards the faces it's ridiculous". The show is in dire need of some sort of top flight heel stepping up. Here's the thing with Christian at this point. Having a World Title shot basically given to him because of Edge's retirement, and then going on to defeat Alberto Del Rrrrrio, didn't make Christian "legit" in the eyes of a lot of people. Obviously his "Peeps" have been waiting for him to be the champion, but in a lot of people's opinion, Christian is still a midcard/upper-midcard talent, and nothing more. Beating someone in ADR that is also looked at as nothing more than a midcard/upper-midcard talent didn't help that any. Going on to a heated feud with Randy Orton definitely helps his cause, much more than defending his World Title against the likes of Mark Henry and Sheamus would. I like Mark Henry and Sheamus, but come on, they still need work (even Sheamus) as far as being "legit" is concerned.

Smackdown needs a big main event heel while the likes of Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry, Wade Bar-ruh, Sheamus and Ezekiel Jackson are built up. Christian now has reason, in a heel's way of thinking, to be incredibly pissed off at both Randy Orton and Teddy Long. If it's played out correctly, Randy Orton VS Christian could easily be a money match at SummerSlam. You can just see Christian winning the World Title back after turning heel, only to drop it back to Orton at SummerSlam to close the feud. At that point, Christian would be twice as big as he is right now, which benefits everyone.

Did I mention that there's a big potential problem with this heel turn scenario? I didn't? Oh, well, there's a big potential problem with this heel turn scenario. With as dominant as Randy Orton has been booked to look in the last few months.. beating an entire faction all by himself, dominating the feud week after week after week.. does anyone really think that will change against Christian? Christian is a better worker than any of CM Punk's NexSES cronies, but Orton was dominant against guys like Mason Ryan, who is a big motherfucker. Orton is much bigger than Christian is. We're supposed to believe that, after being that supreme over multiple people at the same time, he'd look weak against Christian? Christian isn't the biggest, the fastest, or the strongest around. Christian doesn't have a huge finisher that can lay people to waste easily. It's going to take some serious booking changes, or a faction on Christian's behalf, to make that heel turn work, otherwise Orton will just smoke right through him, as well, and move on to feuding with someone else. No matter what, though, it's a really bad time to be a Peep. Bad time to be on the anti-Orton side of the fence, as well.

Right now, I totally understand a lot of the frustration from people in regards to this title change. I'm not happy about it myself, Orton or not. I don't know how many times I need to say that I fucking despise short title reigns, and this one was especially short. However, in the interest of fairness, whether the WWE Creative Team has done anything to deserve the fairness or not, I'm going to give it some time and see where this goes. If Christian goes back to the midcard, or if he gets released as some are speculating about, then it's time to start being pissed.

Writer's Note: The brand new LoP Magazine is now officially available for purchase. On the site, you're able to preview the articles, and then you can sign up for a subscription, which will then take you to PayPal. Handle your business, and the rest of the mag will be available for your reading enjoyment. LoP writers like myself, Tito, Morpheus, Mazza, Rey Ca$h and many others have all spent a lot of time and effort in contributing to this project, so please support it by clicking the LoP Magazine logo and doing your thing..

The HiPE Playlist: "Big Pun Is Back" by Joell Ortiz.. "Worldwide Choppers" by Tech N9ne, Yelawolf, Busta Rhymes, Twista, Ceza, JL B. Hood, Uso, D-Loc & Twisted Insane.. "Ordinary Love Shit Part 3 (Closure)" by Joe Budden.. "Boogie Kids" by Camp Lo.. "Stripes (Run D MC)" by Freddie Gibbs & Young Jeezy.. "War At Your Door (Remix)" by Yelawolf, Chamillionaire & Trae Tha Truth.. "So Damn Fucked Up" by Juicy J.. "Who Da Neighbors" by Juicy J.. "Ordinary World" by Duran Duran.. "Under The Bridge" by Red Hot Chili Peppers

Tony, if you're gonna lie to me, tell me there's a broad in the car waiting to tongue my balls.

-------------------------Day 489

Writer's Note: Going to be a bit of a short one tonight, but that's not the main reason for this note. I know that Osama Bin Laden is a bit of a sensitive subject for some people, so I'm just warning those people now that he's going to be brought up in tonight's column. This isn't going to turn into a political or a philosophical debate or anything like that, but some just become uneasy at the mere mention of his name in light of what has happened in the last few days. It's still a wrestling column, though, so don't worry. Oh, and technically, this also involves something of a spoiler, even though it has to do with the dark match at the Smackdown tapings, and not anything that took place during the show. Anyway, let's get on with it.

Apparently, we might be on the verge of seeing Shawn "Khosrow" Daivari back on World Wrestling Entertainment programming. He worked the dark match at the Smackdown tapings, losing to Ted DiBiase. Interesting to see DiBiase basically working as a face, but against a heat magnet like Daivari, it's not surprising. I've seen some people that have voiced (well, typed) some displeasure over Daivari returning at this time, fresh off of the death of Osama Bin Laden, but you know what? I'm not one of those people. I love the idea of Daivari being there, and I hope he impressed enough people that he gets a WWE contract out of it, and not just to where it was a one-time deal.

On a strictly workrate level, he deserves to be with the company. He never really got many chances to show it during his previous WWE run, because he was mainly used as a manager, but he's a very solid worker. He's a little smaller than the average wrestler, but he's approximately Chris Jericho's size, so it's not like he'll come across looking like Hornswoggle against most of the guys already there. However, the reason he should be there has more to do with other things than just his workrate.

As I said earlier, Daivari has always been a heat magnet. As soon as he grabs a microphone, the crowd is booing their asses off. The more he talks, the more he boos. He just has that voice that is loud and grating, and when he starts speaking another language.. fuhgettaboudit. The United States happens to be in an interesting time, with the news that our soldiers found and killed Osama Bin Laden. There's another large wave of patriotism that is washing over the country, but in other places, that patriotism is viewed with disdain. There's even a nice percentage of people in this country that aren't very proud of the way folks are celebrating the death of a human being. In the world of wrestling, though, where "U-S-A" chants break out just because a heel is announced as being from any country other than this one, Daivari could bring something to WWE programming that isn't already there. Look at the two top heat getters on WWE payroll right now.. a commentator (Michael Cole) and a manager (Vickie Guerrero). It's an unfortunate state of affairs when there really aren't any wrestlers on the roster that can get that type of heat. CM Punk is close, but he's just such an entertaining performer that some can't help but cheer for him. The Miz is close, but he's also reaching the point where some people can't help but cheer for him. That's it. Nobody else even approaches their level. Daivari could easily reach that level, and perhaps surpass it, if they let him loose on the mic.

What someone like CM Punk does well in his promos is really believe what he's saying. When he speaks negatively about alcohol consumption, smoking and illicit drug use, it's because he's legitimately against it. What made Chris Jericho's heel promos so great was his belief that his "targets" were hypocrites. You know what? They were hypocrites. However, nobody wants to be told about their flaws and negative traits. Nobody wants to be preached to, whether it's right or wrong. That's the key to being a heel in the world of wrestling. The heel has to believe, no matter what he's saying or doing, that his line of thinking is correct, and that it's the "right" thing to do. With Daivari, there's plenty for him to talk about if they let him loose. I'm not saying he has to come out and say that Bin Laden was a great man, or that he has to praise anything Bin Laden did during his time on the planet. That's the type of heel heat that is going to get Daivari murdered in the parking lot after an event is over. Instead, Daivari needs to talk about how celebrating the death of Bin Laden doesn't exactly make Americans any better than the people they hate. American fans do not want to hear that. Trust me.. I've seen it on Facebook, Twitter and on message boards all over the internet. If you even so much as hint that you aren't thrilled over Bin Laden's death, people are going to assume you're some sort of pro-terrorism nut, and they're going to jump all over you. As soon as Daivari comes out and comes even remotely close to taking Bin Laden's "side" in anything, fans will rain heel heat upon him like it was going out of style. He stands up for himself, his people and his way of thinking, and the heel heat continues. The heel heat that he was able to get during his original WWE run was crazy. It shows how simple some of the American people can be. In damn near every promo he cut, he made sure to mention that he was an American citizen, born and raised in this country (which is 100% true), but nobody wanted to hear it.

I'm not calling for Daivari to become WWE Champion or anything, but I wouldn't mind a slight push for the guy. If he's pulling in great heel reactions, and then stepping into the ring and putting on good matches, I fail to see why he shouldn't be in contention for the Intercontinental or United States (and that could make for some interesting storyline twists and promos) Title.

Of course, now that I've taken the time to do this column, his dark match appearance will be it, and we won't see him on television ever again.

Writer's Note Part Deux: The brand new LoP Magazine is now officially available for purchase. On the site, you're able to preview the articles, and then you can sign up for a subscription, which will then take you to PayPal. Handle your business, and the rest of the mag will be available for your reading enjoyment. LoP writers like myself, Tito, Morpheus, Mazza, Rey Ca$h and many others have all spent a lot of time and effort in contributing to this project, so please support it by clicking the LoP Magazine logo and doing your thing..

The HiPE Playlist: Nothing tonight.

Token, stop giving Tyler Perry money, or he won't go away!

-------------------------Day 490

*By Request*

I actually had several variations of this request coming out of the WWE Draft and my Draftermath column, but this one got multiple requests, so it "wins". I did a column like this a long time ago, but obviously, a lot has changed over time, so, anyway.. tonight, I'll be looking at five names I feel could be in line for their very first WWE/World Title reign between now and the end of WrestleMania 28, based on draft status, new characters, new feuds, etc. Remember, this is people who are in line for their first reigns, so anyone who has already won a World or WWE Title in the past doesn't count. Also, this isn't necessarily five that I think will win their first WWE/World Title reign between now and WrestleMania 28. It's just the five that I think are most likely to do so, and who have been placed in the best situations to do so.

- The first name on this list should come as no surprise to anyone that has been reading my columns in recent weeks and months. It's none other than Cody Rhodes. We're a little over four months into 2011, and through the first third of the year, Cody Rhodes is definitely the WWE MVP. He has the best new character, has improved the most with his in-ring work, and is proving that he can hang with the "big boys", so to speak. As I've mentioned on a few occasions already, the Smackdown main event scene is lacking a bit on the heel side of things, providing opportunities for people like Cody to step up and make a name for themselves. Here's a bit of a warning for some of you.. the next paragraph contains Smackdown spoilers.

Now that Randy Orton is the new World Heavyweight Champion, this is the perfect opportunity to push Cody Rhodes to the main event scene. If Christian gets a chance to continue with Orton, whether through a heel turn and a feud or just through his rematch clause, that's fine, but I think Cody has proven that he's worthy of being next in line. In fact, it might even be better for Cody if Orton is busy for the next few weeks, at least. That way, Cody can build up some more momentum after losing to Rey Mysterio at Extreme Rules, and pick up a few victories. A program between Orton and Rhodes is pretty simple to put together with their history together. I just worry that Rhodes would be destroyed and have all of his growth stunted by Orton. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

- Let's keep something of a theme going here with our next name, which is Mark Henry. I'll add a little loophole for him here, because of his previous reign as ECW Champion. He still meets the criteria here, though, because he's never won the WWE or World Title. Take that! Anyway, I think Mark Henry is in line for a push on Smackdown right now. He turned heel, he's a 400-pound monster, and everyone knows that Vince McMahon is a huge fan of loyalty. Ol' Mizark has been with the company for going on 15 years now, has been saddled with some awful things (he is the father of a hand, after all), and as far as we know, he hasn't complained or earned himself a bad repuation backstage. Unless the company decides to really give Brodus Clay a push that he isn't ready for, Mark Henry is the biggest (in size) heel that Smackdown has right now. He could make for a nice change of pace on Smackdown, in my opinion. With all of the high flying and technical wrestling that will be taking place on the show, he steps in and just mows through people. Put the title on him, and it automatically presents a challenge for some face to step in and take it from him. David overcoming Goliath is one of the simplest things to put together in wrestling, and has been successful for decades now.

- You know, we might as well keep the trend going. This isn't necessarily a "controversial" pick, but it is one that is going to get people accusing me of having some sort of bias towards. I'm going to go ahead and do it, anyway, though.. add Daniel Bryan to this list. Alright, now I'm going to wait for some of you to calm down.

..

.

..

Are you alright now? Good. Daniel Bryan was able to get himself over on Raw, which is a brand that focuses more on character and promos. Was he receiving Attitude Era Steve Austin face pops? No, but he was still over. On Smackdown, a brand that, for years, has been the showcase of in-ring talent, regularly having workers put on 20-minute matches, Daniel Bryan has a chance to really shine. Going back to the "Smackdown Six" (Eddie Guerrero, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, Edge, Rey Mysterio and Chavo Guerrero) in 2003 and 2004, Smackdown is the place where the smaller wrestlers can do bigger things. It's the place where in-ring work can often get more publicity than mic skills, charisma or your character. If Bryan gets placed into regular 15-20 minute matches with the likes of Christian, Sheamus, Chavo Guerrero, Tyson Kidd, Wade Bar-ruh, William Regal, Trent Barreta, Sin Cara, Ted DiBiase, Yoshi Tatsu, Justin Gabriel, Cody Rhodes, etc, he has all the potential in the world to achieve great success on the blue brand. He could even carry Randy Orton (yeah, I said it) to longer matches that are entertaining. Orton needs that. Once his matches hit the 10-12 minute mark, they start hitting a wall, and he finds too many ways to slow things down or throw rest holds in. If given a chance, Daniel Bryan could turn the entire Smackdown brand on its ear. Trust me, folks.

- Well, damn, the trend is going to continue, and it's going to continue with another name that might not immediately be a popular decision with a lot of you, and that's Sin Cara. I know what some of you are thinking.. botch this, overrated that, blah blah blah.. and that's fine. However, a lot of you are still forgetting that he came to the company after wrestling a completely different style for several years, and did so without a stay in FCW. Of course he's going to have some initial problems. 100% American workers come from doing several months in developmentals and fuck up a lot in the beginning of their main roster careers, but when Sin Cara does it, the sky is falling? Once he fixes his timing issues, and a communication system can be worked out (pats on the back, facial expressions, etc) with his opponents, he's going to be pushed, and he's going to be pushed hard. I don't know the details of his contract, but I can pretty much guarantee that it wasn't cheap for Vince McMahon to bring him in. You don't take the biggest star in Lucha Libre, several years running, who just so happens to be in the prime of his career, and get him signed for pennies on the dollar. His merchandise is already selling well, and he's carrying the Latino viewing demographic for Smackdown now that Rey Mysterio and Alberto Del Rrrrrio are both on Raw. Sorry, folks, but whether you like Sin Cara or not, you'd better get used to seeing him climb the proverbial ladder.

- For my final choice, not only am I going to stop the trend, but I'm going to go with a bit of a "cheap" pick, because this person has already been main eventing recently, but just hasn't won the World Title. Now that he's on a bigger brand, with a bigger showcase, though, it's only a matter of time before Alberto Del Rrrrrio achieves his "destiny". I have no idea what all the booking with ADR in recent months has been about. People thought he'd beat Edge. He didn't. People thought he'd beat Christian. He didn't. Then the Christian loss turned out to be for nothing. However, what ADR has done in that time is continue to improve in the ring, building in-ring chemistry and showing that he does belong in the main event scene. Early rumors are that the main event of this year's SummerSlam will be John Cena VS ADR for the WWE Title. Now, I know we've seen some talk, both on and off screen, about John Cena holding the WWE Title all year and going into his match with The Rock at WrestleMania 28 as the champion, but come on, ladies and gentlemen.. that's not going to happen. Title reigns just don't last that long anymore. I have no doubt Cena will spend a large portion of the year as champion, because you can't have him jobbing left and right if you have him stepping into the ring with the mythical creature known as Rock, but a year-long reign? No. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if Rock is the one that costs Cena the title, maybe even at SummerSlam. Can't have a pay-per-view in Hollywood without your biggest Hollywood star around, can you? Rock interference.. BAM.. Cena loses the title. ADR is left alone with Rock.. BAM.. Rock Bottom on the new champion. Rock is put over the top names once again. I can see it already.

Who am I missing? Who do the fine folks of ReaderLand think is primed and ready for their first WWE/World Title reigns between now and WrestleMania 28? Holla at ya boy and let me know what's on your mind.

Writer's Note: LoP Magazine is now officially available for purchase. On the site, you're able to preview the articles, and then you can sign up for a subscription, which will then take you to PayPal. Handle your business, and the rest of the mag will be available for your reading enjoyment. LoP writers like myself, Tito, Morpheus, Mazza, Rey Ca$h and many others have all spent a lot of time and effort in contributing to this project, so please support it by clicking the LoP Magazine logo and doing your thing..

The HiPE Playlist: Nothing tonight.

Sorry! I had told Craig an 'em I'm gon' kick it wit em. Gotta go! See you when I see you!

-------------------------Day 491
Do I think Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao need to get their shit together and fight already? Yep.

7:00pm: Thank you, DVR. Here we go with what is going to be a very interesting episode. Let's get on with it.

7:00pm: Haven't mentioned it yet, but it's pretty cool that Edge seemed more emotional about Christian's World Title victory at Extreme Rules than Christian himself was. That's a deep friendship right there, folks.

7:01pm: The new champ is out to start the show. It still looks strange seeing him with the title.

7:04pm: Some emotion from Christian. Imagine how incredible it must feel to have a lifelong dream finally achieved. That always makes for a great story in wrestling. When someone wins their first World Title, you can usually tell who has been a fan of the business for their entire lives, and who hasn't. Christian has clearly been a wrestling fan since he was a little kid. We don't need the video packages to tell us that.

7:06pm: Mark Henry is out to interrupt Christian. Didn't take long for him to get somewhat involved in the Smackdown main event scene.

7:07pm: The Great Khali? Why? lol @ there being people in the crowd with Khali signs. Those people need serious psychological help.

7:08pm: Khali wants a shot at the title. Lawdamercy.

7:09pm: Remember when Runjin Singh was turning heel for a few weeks? Apparently you're not supposed to remember that.

7:09pm: Randy Orton has had enough of this, and now he's out to a large pop.

7:12pm: Everyone wants a shot at the title, and now, Teddy Long is coming out. Does he want a shot, too? No, he's giving the fans a chance to choose who gets the first shot at the World Title. That's one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. There's no fucking point in having matches if you're just going to have fans select between random people to get title shots. One of the top faces in the company, a heel, and a face that nobody wants to watch wrestle. Gee, I wonder who is going to get the biggest fan reaction? What a joke.

7:15pm: It's a shameful thing, Lobster Head! I'm so happy that Sheamus doesn't have to come to the ring looking like an asshole anymore. He looked ridiculous.

7:16pm: Daniel Bryan VS Sheamus to start the in-ring portion of the show? Nice.

7:19pm: Typically physical match between these two. It's fun to see them wrestle, because neither one of them really holds back all that much. It brings something relatively different to the table, as far as WWE matches go.

7:21pm: Yes, Booker, you can teach power. Do you think people like Mark Henry and John Cena were born this strong? No, you idiot. Somewhere along the line, someone told them how to do things like lift weights and take care of their bodies, and amazingly enough, they got stronger. Incredible.

7:23pm: Sheamus wins, but another nice match between those two. No surprise to see Sheamus win, really. He's a former WWE Champion, and isn't going to require much to get back to the main event, so a win here goes a long way.

7:27pm: lol @ Cody Rhodes still handing paper bags out to the crowd. It always makes me chuckle a bit when people wear the paper bags during matches, and now, I get a chance to see it again.

7:28pm: That was another good promo by Cody there. I'm telling you.. he's the WWE MVP for the first third of 2011. He's on the biggest roll of anyone not named Randy Orton.

7:31pm: Big Show VS Ezekiel Jackson, one-on-one. This could be very telling for Big Zeke's future. A win here would be huge, and could be a sign of great things to come.

7:34pm: Chain wrestling from Big Show. It's funny that he busts that out from time-to-time.

7:35pm: It's ridiculous how strong Zeke is. It's almost not fair to have the physical attributes that he has.

7:37pm: Not a five-star classic by any means, but Zeke picks up the victory. He could be in line for a really nice push this year.

7:38pm: Thank you again, DVR. I saw way too much of The Rock's birthday shit on Raw, so I'm glad I was able to fast forward through it on Smackdown.

7:39pm: Layla VS Alicia Fox. They really are going to push Layla as a face now, aren't they? Could be fun, as she finally has a chance to shine on her own.

7:40pm: Umm.. alright. A minute-long squash match for Layla.

7:41pm: Kharma!

7:43pm: Kharma just clotheslined Rihanna's DNA right out of Alicia Fox. Somewhere, Chris Brown is laughing. Laughing and abusing another woman, but laughing nonetheless.

7:46pm: Zeke is now getting beaten down by Wade Bar-ruh, Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater in the locker room. A face push for Zeke, perhaps? Interesting.

7:48pm: Sin Cara! You know what that means.. FINGERPOINT OF DOOM~! Interesting to have Chavo Guerrero out on commentary for this match. I'd pay good money to see Sin Cara and Chavo have a feud.

7:49pm: Tyson Kidd is out to be Sin Cara's opponent. Alright, this has some potential.

7:50pm: lol @ Chavo taking credit for every big move that Sin Cara does, and saying that Sin Cara stole it from him. Please, WWE.. Sin Cara VS Chavo Guerrero. Dew eet!!

7:52pm: Chavo has been hanging out with Booker T too much. Sin Cara hits Kidd with his finishing move, and Chavo asks which man gets hurt more by the move. One man stayed down and got pinned, while the other got up and made the pin. I wonder who it hurt more? Next week, Chavo will continue his Bookerisms by watching that move get hit and saying that Sin Cara's opponent could have "shattered every rib in his body with that move".

7:54pm: Main event time. According to my DVR, there's approximately 26 minutes left in the show as Randy Orton makes his entrance. Once Orton's entrance is over, there will be approximately 12 minutes to go.

7:57pm: As Christian was announced as the World Champion, he smiled and shook his head, as if to signal that he was still in a dream, and not reality. Nice.

8:01pm: Hey, Booker just talked about possible broken ribs. I'm a fucking genius.

8:02pm: These commercial breaks are hurting the match. Seems like they just came back from a break, and now, they're going to another one.

8:05pm: What we've seen in between commercial breaks has been fun so far. The crowd isn't quite as into the match as I would have thought they'd been, but perhaps it has to due with them being born between two really popular faces.

8:06pm: Alright, now the crowd is getting into it. It's as if my last entry willed them, three days in the future, to make noise.

8:08pm: Just like that.. we have a new World Champion. Unbelievable.

#ThankYouEdge: Christian's emotion in the promo to start the show.. Daniel Bryan VS Sheamus.. Another solid Cody Rhodes promo.. Ezekiel Jackson picking up a much-needed singles victory.. Kharma's post-match beatdown on Alicia Fox.. A possible face turn and a push for Ezekiel Jackson.. Teasing a Sin Cara VS Chavo Guerrero feud.. Christian VS Randy Orton

#FuckYouMattHardy: A stupid way to crown a new #1 Contender for the World Title.. The Corre further splintering into irrelevancy.. Christian's brief title reign

Grade: Regardless of the result of tonight's main event, I'm happy with this week's episode of Smackdown. Nice focus on the in-ring action, which should always be the brand's focus. Let's go with a B-.

Writer's Note: LoP Magazine is now officially available for purchase. On the site, you're able to preview the articles, and then you can sign up for a subscription, which will then take you to PayPal. Handle your business, and the rest of the mag will be available for your reading enjoyment. LoP writers like myself, Tito, Morpheus, Mazza, Rey Ca$h and many others have all spent a lot of time and effort in contributing to this project, so please support it by clicking the LoP Magazine logo and doing your thing..

The HiPE Playlist: Smackdown.

Last night, the United States dropped four two-thousand pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but my God, do those things even need to explode?

Source: lordsofpain.net