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1. Day 499 - Manage This

2. Day 500 - Does wrestling really matter?

2.5 Day 501 - Raw Running Diary

4. Day 502 - On the count of ten.. Draw!

5. Day 503 - Cornucopia

6. Day 504 - New Blood

7a. Day 505 - Rest In Power, Macho

7b. Day 505.5 - Smackdown Running Diary

Day 499

If you've been a reader of my work for a long time, you'd know how much I miss the days when managers were all over wrestling. Whether it was Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, Mr. Fuji, Col. Robert Parker, Sister/Sensational/Queen Sherri, Mr. Perfect, Slick, JJ Dillon, Capt. Lou Albano, Paul Bearer, Sunny, Miss Elizabeth, Jim Cornette, etc, etc, etc.. they brought something different to the business, and it's an aspect that we've seen slowly die out through the years.

Well, this week on Superstars, we got a bit of a surprise when Tyson Kidd came to the ring for his match with Trent Barreta. Accompanying Kidd to the ring was one of the most legendary and flamboyant personalities in the history of the business, Michael P.S. Hayes. Hayes cut a promo before the match, and he talked about how athletes need coaches, and vice versa, to win championships. It was a short promo, but it was effective, and it explained why he was out there.

Kidd won in a really good match that is worth going out of your way to check out, and he displayed some new aggression and had some moments where he seemed to be wrestling a "smarter" match, and the commentary did a nice job in pointing out that it seemed as though Hayes had already worked with Kidd before the match began.

I can't put into words just how much I approve of Michael Hayes being Tyson Kidd's manager. Kidd is far too talented to be wasting away on Superstars, and often, not even doing that. However, his lack of mic skills have really hurt him during his brief WWE career. Pairing him up with Hayes allows him to focus on his in-ring work, while one of the most charismatic talkers in wrestling history handles his promos. Will it lead to several WWE/World Title reigns for Kidd in the next several years? Chances are, no, it won't, but it's a nice start for a bigger push than he's been getting. Let's not forget two very important factors here..

1. Tyson Kidd is a Smackdown roster member, and Smackdown is the brand, as I've mentioned several times, that caters more to smaller workers and/or the workers that can "go" in the ring. Kidd is a smaller worker, and he can "go" in the ring. It works well for him.

2. Who is the head writer for Smackdown? Michael Hayes. That doesn't mean he can book Kidd for a 24-month undefeated streak, with title victory after title victory, but wouldn't you want to write yourself into storylines a bit more if you were in his position? I'm assuming the idea to give Kidd a manager wasn't done so that Kidd can be released in a week or two, so that would lead me to believe he's sticking around. Giving him a manager means some sort of push, which would take him from appearances on Superstars to appearances on Smackdown itself. If he continues putting on impressive performances, and there's no shortage of people on Smackdown he can do that with, Hayes will be able to write himself onto television more often.

What's next, though? Will Kidd be the only wrestler that Hayes manages? If you look up and down the Smackdown roster, there are a lot of people that could use his guidance. Brodus Clay, Ezekiel Jackson, The Usos, Heath Slater (if The Corre split up), Justin Gabriel (ditto), Sin Cara (if they decide they want to add some sort of depth to his character), Ted DiBiase, Trent Barreta, Yoshi Tatsu, etc. I'm not necessarily saying Hayes needs to be the leader and mouthpiece of some new stable, although, if done right, it sure wouldn't be a bad thing to see it happen, but I don't think Hayes' guidance will end with Tyson Kidd.

The most likely outcome will have Hayes guide Kidd to a few months worth of victories, but some sort of disagreement will come up.. perhaps Kidd will decide not to follow a piece of Hayes' advice, or Hayes will think Kidd is getting "soft", etc.. and it will lead to a face turn for Kidd when Hayes' new client is revealed and he attacks Kidd. Just for the sake of example, let's use Trent Barreta here. Kidd gets a push as a face, and by then, he'll hopefully have learned enough from his time working with Michael Hayes that he can carry promos on his own, and he gets into a nice televised feud with Barreta, who Hayes is now trying to groom and push towards something better. It's a tried-and-true booking method, and has been successful on many occasions.

Either way, I'm just glad that it appears Tyson Kidd is on the verge of something. He's been one of my favorites in the company since he debuted on ECW in February 2009. There should have been big things for him as a member of The Hart Dynasty, but the company split the team up, and for what? Neither Kidd, nor his partner David Hart Smith, have been pushed since the split. Natalya hasn't received much of anything since the split, either. It was the epitome of breaking up a tag team for absolutely no reason whatsoever. It's not like splitting The Rockers up so that Shawn Michaels can be pushed as one of the biggest singles wrestlers of all-time. It was a split that nobody gained anything from, and that's a shame. Kidd deserves better than he's been getting, so here's hoping that his pairing with Hayes is the start of that. Thank you, WWE. Thank you for at least attempting to bring managers back to the spotlight.

What about you, ReaderLand? What are your thoughts? Do you think Tyson Kidd is on the verge of some sort of push? Do you think Michael Hayes will end up managing anyone else, either at the same time as Kidd or after Kidd? Holla at ya boy and let me know what's on your mind.

Writer's Note: Some of you have been asking, and yes, the second issue of LoP Magazine is on its way. I've been spending a lot of time in the last few days working on my additions to the issue. In the debut issue, I posted the beginning of a very lengthy fantasy booking series which involves TNA. The first issue saw the press conference that would change TNA forever, and the second issue will feature the first month of actual booking. I'm talking full fantasy booking here, ladies and gentlemen. Changes to the roster, new characters, new roles, new feuds, everything. I'll keep everyone further updated as to when the issue officially drops, but once again, we're looking at the 20th, so it's less than a week away.

The HiPE Playlist: "Little Rock" by Collin Raye.. "Rope The Moon" by John Michael Montgomery.. "I Swear" by John Michael Montgomery.. "I Can Love You Like That" by John Michael Montgomery.. "Carrying Your Love With Me" by George Strait.. "I Cross My Heart" by George Strait.. "Don't Take The Girl" by Tim McGraw.. "The Dance" by Garth Brooks.. "To Make You Feel My Love" by Garth Brooks.. "The Thunder Rolls" by Garth Brooks

Strut that ass!

Hustle
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-Team Sleep--------------------------Day 500
Pause. Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause. Pause x10. Drake is definitely the favorite musical act of Ricardo Rodriguez.

*By Request*

It feels weird writing about TNA so often in a short amount of time, but that's the way the cookie crumbles, I guess. A loyal reader and self-proclaimed "closet TNA fan" asked me about TNA's new shift in marketing, and their whole "wrestling matters" campaign. Specifically, he wanted to know what things TNA could easily change about their current product to make the "wrestling matters" campaign actually count and look legit.

As I mentioned in yesterday's column, my LoP Magazine entries for the month are full-blown fantasy booking of the company, and just what I'd do if I were in charge, so this will be a little different. I'm not going to overhaul rosters or anything along those lines here. These are just things they could do without much effort at all. Things they could do today, if need be. Things they could do for free. As is usually the case with me when I do list columns, this will be in no particular order. I'm just listing them as they come to my head. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!!

Get the World Title off of Sting: Sure, he still carries a lot of "name value", but it's difficult to brand your company about wrestling and how much it "matters" when your top guy is so limited in the ring these days that he can't even participate in reasonably lengthy matches. I'll give Sting credit.. he still moves around pretty well for a 52-year-old, but at this point, he should be nothing more than an occasional featured performer, and even that's being generous. God forbid we actually get the rumored Sting VS Hulk Hogan match at Bound For Glory in October. Its rumored that the match will be for the World Title. If that's the case, you might as well cancel the entire "wrestling matters" garbage right now, because there's no way that match is going anywhere near 10 minutes, and will probably feature so much overbooked nonsense that it makes our heads spin. Hey, speaking of that..

Let some matches end cleanly once in a while: Let's take a look at tonight's Sacrifice pay-per-view, as an example..

- Ink Inc VS Mexican America featured something in the vicinity of 45 bits of interference from Sarita and Rosita

- Brian Kendrick VS Robbie E featured interference from Cookie

- Mickie James VS Madison Rayne featured interference from Tara

- Crimson VS Abyss featured teases of weapon usage

- AJ Styles VS Tommy Dreamer was changed to feature No Disqualifications, allowing them to brawl instead of actually wrestle, and still featured interference from Bully Ray

- Sting VS Rob Van Dam featured a weird brawl where both men were out of the ring for considerably longer than the usual 10 count, but the match wasn't thrown out

That's ridiculous. The typical TNA PPV is full of interference, ref bumps, overbooking and nonsensical decisions (calling for DQs in cage matches, counting pinfalls in submission-only matches, etc), and Sacrifice was no different, although at least it was basically just toned down to interference. How does that prove "wrestling matters" exactly? It's the exact same product TNA has been putting on, with no changes whatsoever.

Stop trying to ruin your "Golden Boy": TNA has already ruined Samoa Joe. At one point, he was primed to be the next big thing in wrestling, and in one of the worst cases of not listening to your fans that I've ever seen, the company royally fucked up his push and ruined him. I don't think he'll ever reach legit main event status again, and it's a shame. TNA has tried to ruin AJ Styles on multiple occasions, but, as a sign of just how much the TNA fans love him, they continue rooting for him as if he were someone special. The company has him jobbing to Tommy Dreamer, for fuck's sake. Tommy Dreamer was a jobber in ECW, when he was in his 20s. Now he's 40 and we're supposed to believe he's going to be winning matches? Fuck outta here with that garbage. TNA tried to turn AJ Styles into Ric Flair Jr, and that certainly didn't work. They're always trying to do all these different things with AJ, instead of just letting him loose and having him work his ass off for people. It shows how lost and in their own little world the TNA writers are. They have no idea what they have in AJ Styles, and if they continue taking him for granted, he'll be on the WWE roster before you know it, and TNA fans will be out for blood at every Impact taping. Wise up, TNA.

Prove that "wrestling matters" by letting your wrestlers wrestle: Sounds simple enough, doesn't it? Let's look at the match times for Sacrifice (these times come from another site, not me, so don't blame me if there's something wrong)..

- Ink Inc VS Mexican America went 9:39

- Brian Kendrick VS Robbie E went 6:41

- Mickie James VS Madison Rayne went 6:57

- Kazarian VS Max Buck went 11:21

- Crimson VS Abyss went 10:43

- Beer Money VS America's Least Wanted went 13:51

- AJ Styles VS Tommy Dreamer went 13:04

- Kurt Angle & Chyna VS Jeff Jarrett & Karen Jarrett went 10:19

- Sting VS Rob Van Dam went 12:43

An entire pay-per-view without a single match reaching the 14-minute mark? Seriously? We get episodes of Raw, Smackdown and Superstars that have longer matches than that. To compare it, let's look at the match times for WWE's Extreme Rules event that just took place..

- Randy Orton VS CM Punk went 20:06

- Sheamus VS Kofi Kingston went 9:09

- Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross VS Michael Cole & Jack Swagger went 7:04

- Rey Mysterio VS Cody Rhodes went 11:43

- Layla VS Michelle McCool went 5:24

- Christian VS Alberto Del Rrrrrio went 21:05

- Big Show & KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE VS Wade Bar-ruh & Ezekiel Jackson went 4:15

- The Miz VS John Cena VS John Morrison went 19:50

That's two matches that went over the 20-minute mark, and one more match that barely missed joining that group. Sacrifice had 96:18 of in-ring action, averaging out to 10:42 per match. Extreme Rules had 98:36 of in-ring action, averaging out to 12:19 per match. If TNA wants to go out of their way to talk about how pro wrestling still exists in their company, and.. again.. that "wrestling matters", their matches need to show that. There were a few matches tonight that had no business even being on a pay-per-view. Take out Kendrick VS Robbie E. Take out Crimson VS Abyss. That's over 20 minutes of pay-per-view (counting introductions, entrances, etc) they would have saved. Matt Morgan VS Scott Steiner has been booked better than either of the two matches I just mentioned, so if they really felt the need to, they could have thrown that match on the show and given it between 8-10 minutes. The rest of the time could have been used to beef up the rest of the matches. Hell, some would even argue that Ink Inc VS Mexican America had no business hitting the 10-minute mark, and Styles VS Dreamer had no business reaching 13 minutes. Spread things out a bit, if that's the case. Give more time to other matches, although, if you really look at it, what else could they have done with that weak card? Give Matt Hardy and Chris Harris 20 minutes to work with? Let Sting and Rob Van Dam huff and puff (get it?) through 20+ minutes? I'll pass.

It's honestly not that difficult. There's so much talent on the TNA roster, and it's a crying shame that the current product is what it is. They have all the potential in the world to be pulling in Raw-like numbers if they really put their minds to it. If "wrestling matters", though, it would be nice if they actually tried to prove it, instead of just talking the talk and then giving us the same fucking routine that they've been giving us.

Damn, I spent Day 500 on that?!? Son of a bitch.

The HiPE Playlist: Nothing tonight.

It's nice to see him smiling again.

He won't be smiling.. WHEN I MURDER HIM!!!

-------------------------Day 501

"Push it to the limit.."

9:00pm: Here we are, with yet another "go home" episode before a pay-per-view. I guess that means I shouldn't be expecting too much in-ring action this week.

9:01pm: The WWE Champ.. is.. here. John Cena is out to start the show.

9:03pm: Before Cena can even get a word in, Alex Riley is out to interrupt him. Riley really doesn't learn his lesson, does he?

9:05pm: Yeah, we really don't need Alex Riley cutting the promos for Miz. It's just not working, even with his cheap heat garnering by making fun of the hometown San Antonio Spurs and their failure in this year's NBA Playoffs.

9:07pm: Cena's fans love him so much that they cheer anything he says. All he did was say Alex Riley's name, and the crowd popped. That was kinda weird.

9:09pm: The camera just zoomed in on Miz as he blinked his right eyelid. His left one, on the other hand, didn't move. Creepy.

9:11pm: The anonymous Raw General Manager is allowing Miz to choose John Cena's opponent for tonight, and is also allowing him to choose the match stipulation. If he really wanted to humiliate Cena and teach him a lesson, he'd book Cena against the rest of the Raw roster in a Bra & Panties Match. I'm just saying.

9:15pm: Kofi Kingston VS CM Punk? Hmm.. this has potential to be great, and it also has potential to be a disaster. It's a match that features, perhaps, the two most inconsistently booked members of the entire Raw roster. Someone has to come out of this match looking strong, right? Right?!? I'm guessing this isn't for the title, since it hasn't been mentioned yet. That probably points towards a Punk victory.

9:21pm: Sure enough, Punk wins, and the match was quick. However, that match was put together by a five-year-old. Kofi's dominating most of the match, then misses a jump to the turnbuckle and gently falls to the mat. That's enough to incapacitate him for a GTS from Punk for the pinfall? It just looked dumb. I guess this means Punk will be going after the United States Title, perhaps at Over The Limit.

9:29pm: Kelly Kelly VS Brie Bella? I'm guessing this is also non-title, and I'm also guessing that I'm not going to give a rat's ass about the match. Bring out Kharma already.

9:32pm: Kelly Kelly wins. Yawn. The Bellas attack her after the match. Yawn. Kharma's music hits. I'm awake again. Beat all three of them, homegirl.

9:34pm: Kelly Kelly's fake eyelashes look stupid. Yeah, I said it.

9:36pm: FINGERTHUMP OF DOOM~!

9:37pm: I wonder how many consecutive weeks they're going to make Kharma beat random Divas up without actually letting her get in the ring and wrestle? I'll say this, though.. if she gets in the ring and wrestles someone like Brie Bella, it will be a huge waste of time.

9:43pm: No, don't let Rey Mysterio cut a promo. Come on.

9:44pm: Damnit.

9:46pm: Rey calls R-Truth out, and.. we go to commercial break. Wonderful.

9:49pm: Another really slow first hour of Raw. It's becoming something of a trend.

9:50pm: The commercial break ends and Rey is standing in the exact same spot, in the exact same position, as went the show went to break. He stood there, perfectly still, for three minutes, apparently. That's hilarious.

9:50pm: Instead of Truth, Alberto Del Rrrrrio and Ricardo Rodriguez come out.

9:52pm: ADR and Rey go back and forth, speaking Spanish to each other. I get that a lot of the fans in San Antonio will get what they're saying, but what is everyone else supposed to do?

9:54pm: Mysterio VS ADR. No surprise there.

9:54pm: ..and the show goes to commercial almost immediately after the match begins. Fuck. Lame as hell.

9:59pm: Rey's leaning forward, and ADR kicks him in the back of his head. It makes perfect sense that Mysterio would then fall backwards. Smooth.

10:02pm: Truth interrupts the match by screaming like a fucking idiot about Mysterio being a thief. Truth.. you're holding this thing called a microphone. It usually makes your voice louder and helps to project it to people. You don't need to yell like that. Who do you think you are? Mr Anderson? Fuck outta here with that nonsense. At least you're more interesting than Anderson is, though.

10:03pm: Rey wins by DQ after Ricardo Rodriguez interfered in the match, and now Truth is in the ring, attacking Rey. He's yelling again. He doesn't have the mic this time, though, so it's not as bad.

10:06pm: I coughed at the same time Truth said "got", so I thought he just told Mysterio that he was going to get shot this Sunday night. I had to rewind just to make sure. That would have been taking his heel character to another level, I'd say.

10:08pm: LMAO @ the WrestleMania 27 DVD/Blu-Ray commercial referring to the event as the "greatest WrestleMania in history". Holy shit, that damn near made me shit myself. Dave Chappelle couldn't write a funnier joke than that. Good one, WWE.

10:12pm: A contract signing between Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole for their match at Over The Limit. Oh, no. This isn't going to help the show at all.

10:15pm: Lawler signed the contract without reading the fine print. That means he's going to be the middle section of the Human CentiPad! Oh.. I guess it just means it's going to be a Kiss My Foot Match at Over The Limit. Wonderful. Let's move on already. They've signed the contract. Get to the next segment already.

10:18pm: I'm going to put a bounty on Michael Cole's head. A certain amount of money if you slap him and document it through video. More money if you punch him and document it. Even more if you put him in the hospital and document it. If you murder him.. well.. we'll discuss it in private.

10:20pm: Jack Swagger walks out on Cole after Cole repeatedly put him down. Now is the company's chance to pull the trigger on a Swagger face turn at Over The Limit. If he attacks Cole, he's going to get a huge face pop. Make it happen, WWE.

10:26pm: Another non-title match, this time featuring the 14-foot-tall Tag Team Champions, Big Show and KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE.

10:28pm: Big Show and KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE defend their titles against CM Punk and Mason Ryan at Over The Limit. Alright, so why did Punk get the victory over the United States Champion earlier in the show? What the fuck?

10:29pm: David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty are out to face the tag champs tonight.

10:29pm: lol @ the crowd response almost completely dying out once Otunga and Imperfect were revealed as the second team in this match. This is as dead as the crowd has been for anything all night, and that's counting the Divas match.

10:32pm: How the hell has Otunga not improved in the ring after all these months? He still looks like he's never wrestled a day in his life. WWE must really want to keep Jennifer Hudson happy.

10:33pm: With interference from Punk, Otunga and Imperfect pick up the victory. Two wins for the NexSES this week, as well as the announcement that Punk and Ryan get a shot at the Tag Titles this weekend. With the roller coaster booking the group gets, I guess that means Punk and Ryan will lose the match at Over The Limit in 30 seconds.

10:39pm: Jerry Lawler is bullying Michael Cole now. It's kinda funny. Cole is apologizing now, because he realizes that his backup has walked out on him, but Lawler keeps telling him to shut up and telling him how he's going to beat him at Over The Limit. B.A.*, Lawler, don't be a bully.

10:42pm: Zack Ryder sighting! lol @ Ryder giving John Cena one of his shirts. It would be absolutely hilarious if Cena wore Ryder's shirt to the ring.

10:47pm: Here we go.. who has Miz chosen as Cena's opponent for tonight? I'm crossing my fingers for it being Kharma.

10:48pm: The match is going to be No Holds Barred. I guess that means we'll get some interference of some sort.

10:49pm: Damn, Cena's not wearing the Zack Ryder shirt. Jack Swagger attacks Cena, and Miz announces Swagger as the opponent. Well.. umm.. maybe he won't be turning face this weekend. Cena VS Swagger should still be good, though. It always has been in the past.

10:56pm: Cole, on commentary, continues to talk negatively about Swagger, saying he's only in this match because he's trying to use the fame that he (Cole) gave him, and how Swagger should be fined for using the General Manager's laptop as a weapon during the match.

11:00pm: Decent enough match. Cena gets the win after making Swagger tap out. Nice performance from Swagger, though, minus one awkward spot where he dropped Cena sloppily.

11:04pm: Miz is basically promising that he's going to do something never before seen to get the victory over Cena at Over The Limit. I hope he's not playing on taking a page out of The Iron Sheik's playbook on how to make people humble.

11:06pm: Hmm.. Cena gets the upper hand in the final segment before a pay-per-view. Will the same old wrestling booking come into play here? If so, that means Miz wins the title back. We shall see.

#ThankYouEdge: Rey Mysterio VS Alberto Del Rrrrrio.. Hopefully the last episode of Raw that we'll have to devote large chunks of time to a feud between announcers.. Zack Ryder making another cameo appearance.. John Cena VS Jack Swagger

#FuckYouMattHardy: Booking the United States Champion to lose a non-title match to a man he isn't even going to be facing at the next show.. For that matter, Kofi Kingston's booking, in general

Grade: C+. Pretty "meh", mostly.

The HiPE Playlist: Raw.

That rug really tied the room together.

-------------------------Day 502

*By Request*

I was having a back-and-forth e-mail conversation with one of my readers about different wrestlers and whether or not they were a "draw", and he gave me a column idea where I discuss the biggest "draws" in the history of the business. Then we started whittling it down a bit, because I didn't want to step outside of my knowledge boundaries and discuss Lucha Libre and Puroresu like that, so we decided to keep it to "draws" in North America. Then, instead of having to step outside of my boundaries again by looking at things that happened 60 years ago, we decided to keep it to the last 30 years or so.

This isn't going to be an exact list. Some of the names on the list will be "obvious".. they've sold out arenas, headlined huge cards like WrestleMania, etc. Other names won't be so "obvious".. they may have never wrestled on a "huge" stage like a WrestleMania, but where they did wrestle, people came from miles around to watch them. This is definitely an inexact science, but let's get on with it, in no particular order once again. I'll be looking at five names here tonight, and if/when time permits in a future column, I'll look at some more.

Hulk Hogan: If you're surprised to see him on this list, you're an idiot. For damn near a decade, Hulk Hogan carried the World Wrestling Federation on his back. Fans all over the world came to watch Hogan. Sure, there were some other big stars in the company in that time, but there was no doubt who "the man" was. Even when people like The Ultimate Warrior pinned Hogan cleanly at WrestleMania 6, it could be said that Hogan was still the bigger star. At the pay-per-view following WM6, SummerSlam 1990, Warrior's WWF Title defense against "Ravishing" Rick Rude did have the main event slot, but Hogan's match against Earthquake got more television time and had top billing on the event poster. At the following pay-per-view, Survivor Series 1990, Warrior's team was featured in the opening match, while Hogan's team was in a match later on. The main event of the show featured another elimination-style match featuring all the survivors from the previous matches on the show in a face VS heel matchup. The two "final survivors"? The Ultimate Warrior and.. Hulk Hogan. At the 1991 Royal Rumble, Warrior's title defense against Sgt. Slaughter was early in the show, while Hogan's Rumble victory was the main event. Then, of course, came WrestleMania 7, where Hogan won the WWF Title back in his match with Slaughter. In the year between WM6 and WM7, Hogan was booked better than Warrior was, and remained in the "top" spot, even without being in the actual top spot. That's how big of a draw Hogan was back then.

Then you move ahead to WCW, where his face run wasn't working the way people would have expected. He was still wildly over, and was still very successful, but it was becoming clear that the wrestling industry was changing, and Hogan's "goody-goody" act didn't have the same effect as it did. That's when history was made with his heel turn, further proving the type of draw that Hogan really has been. People spent good money to see Hogan, whether it was to cheer him on in his new "cool heel" role with the nWo, or to see WCW's top faces beat Hogan's ass.

Then, of course, you have his return to TitanLand, with his big "nostalgia run". He was clearly breaking down, physically, and couldn't even work a half-decent match with anyone, but fans were still coming out in droves to see him and were eating his act up with a spoon. With his original WWF run, the wrestling scene in the company wasn't about workrate and lots of fancy in-ring action, so it's one thing for Hogan to be successful then. However, by the time Hogan returned to work for Vince McMahon, workrate was important, and the fans still came to see Hogan wrestle.

Ric Flair: Flair's story is pretty well-known, as well. During his time as the NWA World Champion, he went from territory to territory, defending his title against the territory's top guy. He'd always win. Didn't stop people from coming out to watch the match, though. It wouldn't be a surprise at all if Flair single-handedly saved some of those territories, helping them bring in enough money in a single night to keep them going ahead for months. Flair's in-ring work helped him tremendously in those years. You knew what you were getting with Flair. You were getting the man that could "wrestle a broom and carry it to a four-star match". You were getting the man that, at that time, didn't seem to know how to wrestle a match that was less than 30 minutes long. He wrestled all over the world as the NWA Champion, and no matter what city he was in.. no matter what country he was in.. no matter who was on the opposite end of the ring as him.. he was the man the fans came to see.

Abdullah The Butcher: Surprised? You shouldn't be. Terry Funk said it at this year's Hall Of Fame ceremony, and it's true.. Abdullah was so wild and crazy in his time.. so deranged.. so psychotic.. so violent.. that when he was appearing at a show, people had to go watch because, unlike most everyone else in the history of the business, you really never knew what Abby was going to do next. His inclusion here is me cheating a little bit, because he did most of his top drawing in the 60s and 70s, outside of the "last 30 years" window we're running with here, and also because a lot of that success came in places like Puerto Rico, Japan, etc. However, not only have I been able to go back and watch a lot of his work, making me more familiar with it, even before my time, but he still belongs here, because he was still carving people up with his trusty fork into the 80s and 90s. Hell, he was still wrestling in Japan last year, at the tender age of 69. Like Ric Flair, Abby wrestled in territory after territory, all over the place. However, that was Abby's doing. He purposely moved from area to area because he didn't want to wear out his welcome. He felt that, by only staying in one place for a short amount of time, the character's mystique would remain, and it would help draw better when he finally returned to the territory. His matches were train wrecks, which is fitting, because what happens when you see a train wreck? You can't turn away, and you have to watch. That's precisely what fans did for years.

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: This is another "common sense" inclusion. When you're the most successful name in the history of the business, money-wise, you're going to be a draw. A big draw. At a time when millions of people were watching WWE programming every week, the top guy was Steve Austin. When WrestleMania really began turning the corner and became a mega-event every year, it was when Steve Austin rose to the top of the wrestling world, winning the WWF Title from Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania 14. Steve Austin (although, to be fair, he did have plenty of help) helped carry the WWF to heights it had never seen before, and helped Vince McMahon become a billionaire. Had Austin's injury history not become so lengthy, there's no telling what he could have accomplished in the business. He's only 46 right now, same age as The Undertaker, so it's not too crazy an idea to say that Austin could still be wrestling to this day had he not had to retire early. He had about seven years of superstardom, from the birth of "Austin 3:16" at the 1996 King Of The Ring pay-per-view to his final official match at WrestleMania 19. In those seven years, though, he missed several months after the highly-publicized split he had with the company (the "I'm taking my ball, and I'm going home" incident). He missed some time due to injuries, as well, but he was able to make regular appearances, including the beginning of his legendary feud with Vince McMahon, which began while Austin was out with a broken neck that he suffered at SummerSlam 1997. Think about that, though. In only a half-decade or so, his "name" skyrocketed to meteoric heights. He did more in that amount of time than anyone else in wrestling history.. guys who wrestled for 20-30 years.. could accomplish. That's insane.

Kerry Von Erich: For those that only know Kerry Von Erich's work when he was The Texas Tornado in the WWF, you have no idea what you're missing out on. Kerry's face work in the 80s was something else. For my younger readers, picture how females react to Justin Bieber these days. That should give you a good idea of the types of reactions Kerry Von Erich would get all over the globe, and especially in his home state of Texas. Women went absolutely crazy for the guy. His drawing power was great, but it was also different than most, because Kerry Von Erich was drawing in women to wrestling shows. His feud with Ric Flair was fantastic and stretched from Texas to Japan, even featuring work here in Hawaii. Von Erich and Flair headlined a show at the old Texas Stadium, drawing 45,000+ fans to the event, which was a Texas state record for a wrestling event that lasted for a really long time. Again, though, Kerry is listed here because of what he did for the wrestling fan demographic. He helped bring in the younger crowds. He helped bring in the female crowds. So, there you go, Cena Haters.. now you know who to blame for things changing.

The HiPE Playlist: "Rolling In The Deep" by Adele.. "Turning Tables" by Adele.. "He Won't Go" by Adele.. "Lovesong" by Adele.. "Chasing Pavements" by Adele.. "To Make You Feel My Love" by Adele.. "Bring It Back" by Raheem DeVaughn.. "Motivation" by Raheem DeVaughn.. "For Your Type" by Raheem DeVaughn.. "Love Faces" by Raheem DeVaughn.. "Let's Chill" by Raheem DeVaughn.. "6 Foot 7 Foot" by Raheem DeVaughn.. "Look At Me" by Raheem DeVaughn.. "Slow Down" by Bobby Valentino.. "Piece Of Mind" by Rittz

Mongo only pawn in game of life.

-------------------------Day 503

Guess what today is?!?

Wednesday!!!

Guess what that means?!?

Nothing, really. I just couldn't come up with an introduction for today's column. I've been getting a lot of requests about various stories and news bits, so.. you guessed it.. it's another smörgåsbord of topics today, with a bit of random thoughts. Hooray!!! Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!!

Maybe KENTA's voice was "hacked"?
Pro Wrestling NOAH superstar KENTA recently said something to the United Kingdom's Daily Star that has members of the IWC in an uproar. The subject of CM Punk came up, and a not-serious conversation about Punk and KENTA facing off in the future over use of the Go To Sleep finishing move that KENTA made famous. KENTA's response was..

"Please list him up on the wanted list, as he stole my move!"

CM Punk defenders got their underwear all bunched up about it, and they complained that KENTA should stop complaining, that he's being an arrogant prick, that wrestling moves are "borrowed" all the time, that Punk "perfected" the move, etc. First things first.. I'm a huge CM Punk fan, but there's no way in hell that Punk "perfected" the move. He doesn't even come close to hitting the move with the same type of accuracy and effectiveness that KENTA hits it with. Perhaps that has to do with the stiffer Puro style, allowing KENTA to actually hit his opponents, and allowing KENTA's opponents to legit take the knee to the face like they do. Either way, KENTA's version of the move is better than Punk's version.

When I first read the news, it struck me as somewhat strange. According to my trusty friend, Wikipedia, Punk has been with World Wrestling Entertainment since the summer of 2006, and started using the Go To Sleep as his finisher a few months later. That's four years that he's been using the move. Maybe KENTA isn't the biggest WWE fan on the planet, but you know, something tells me that, even if he's never watched a second of WWE programming, he would have known Punk was using "his" move. Someone, somewhere, would have told him about it if he didn't already see it for himself. Have we heard anything from him in those four years? Nope.

I dug a little further and actually read the Daily Star article, and sure enough.. KENTA was laughing when he said the quoted line above. Leave it to the shitty internet reporting to leave that part of their copy and paste job, making it seem like the entire thing was a serious matter. Leave it to the IWC to jump straight off of a mountain, searching for this thing called a "conclusion". Come on, folks.. open your eyes. Open your minds. It's not a big deal.

Drop, Baby, Drop
Last week, I did a column about a potential concern with the ratings for Smackdown. Two weeks ago, Smackdown pulled in a 1.94 rating. Last week's much talked about episode, with Christian's debut as the World Champion and a shocking loss to Randy Orton in the main event, pulled in a 1.72 rating. There was plenty of concern with the rating, but people didn't know who or what to blame.

Was it Christian's fault? Maybe people found out he won the World Title at Extreme Rules and didn't watch Smackdown because they don't care about him.

Was it Randy Orton's fault? Maybe people read the spoilers for the show, saw that he won the World Title, and didn't watch Smackdown because they either were pissed that Christian lost, were sick of Orton, or both.

Was it the fault of, to use a wrestling term, "outside interference"? Smackdown was up against a huge NBA Playoff game, the NHL Playoffs, as well as a huge opening night in theaters with Thor opening that day, and Fast Five being in its second weekend.

I said I wanted to wait another week to see what happened with the ratings. This past week, Smackdown had a much lower-profile NBA Playoff game to go up against. It also had no competition from the NHL Playoffs, as well as a smaller weekend in theaters. All signs would seem to indicate the rating would go up, so what did the show get this past week?

1.69

Yes, it went down again. Sure, it didn't drop a lot, but it still went down. It was the lowest rated episode of Smackdown during the 2011 calendar year, and lowest since the end of October. Smackdown only brought in about 800,000 more viewers than the episode of Impact did the night before, which is the smallest margin in Impact history. The episode also featured the lowest rating in the male demographic since the show moved to SyFy on October 1st.

That's terrible news for the company. While it isn't on the same level as John Cena, obviously, it appears that the male viewing demographic is simply growing tired of Randy Orton and his act. He's not the same badass Viper that he was when he was a heel, and to be honest, they're at risk of ruining his character permanently if they continue down this road. He needs something, whether it's a heel turn or just a bit of a gimmick tweaking, and he needs it soon. My only question is pretty much the same thing I wondered in my column last week.. I wonder just how much blame the company itself will put on Orton? That remains to be seen, I guess. If the ratings dip again this week, there are big problems on the horizon. There is no NBA Playoff game this Friday, which will help, but on the other hand, Friday is the opening day for Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, which is going to put up monster first-day numbers. Keep your peepers peepin for the Smackdown rating to be revealed sometime on Monday morning.

Which masked man was the one that robbed you, ma'am? There are 75,000 of them here.
The California-Los Angeles-Anaheim-Santa Barbara-San Mateo-Inglewood-Compton-Watts-Riverside Angels recently set a Guinness World Record recently at their May 10th baseball game. They handed out Lucha-style masks with the team's logo on them to fans in attendance, and during the game, the record for "most people wearing costume masks at the same gathering" was broken, as nearly 25,000 fans put the masks on at the beginning of the fifth inning.

It was reported today that WWE officials were made aware of this, and talk about WWE breaking that record at WrestleMania 28 has gotten underway. One of the rumored matches for the card was already set to be Rey Mysterio VS Sin Cara. If the company hands out replica masks to everyone in attendance.. whether they be Mysterio masks, Sin Cara masks, or WWE logo branded masks.. you're looking at tripling the World Record, and perhaps even more. It's not "end of the world" type important, but it's still fun to have your names in history like that.

The fans at the Angels game were required to keep the masks on for ten minutes for the record to stand, so I'm assuming the same thing will be required at WrestleMania. That's easy to accomplish. Hand the masks out when fans enter the stadium, and during the inevitable video package that will air during the show before the Mysterio/Cara match, have Justin Roberts tell the live crowd to put their masks on in an attempt to break the record. He'd then tell them to keep their masks on for the match. When the video package is over, the home crowd gets the fantastic visual of 75,000+ people wearing Luchador masks in the crowd, while both wrestlers competing in the match are wearing Lucha masks, as well. What could also add to the visual aspect of the entire thing is the match has been rumored to be Mask VS Mask, in a possible retirement match for Mysterio. Match is over.. Mysterio loses.. he unmasks, along with everyone else in the crowd. Works for me.

Plus, it means free Lucha masks to those in attendance. Sweet. I'm totally there.

Wait.. this is still going on?
This may or may not come as a surprise to any of you, but I'm not paying attention to the current season of NXT. For one, Tough Enough is so much better than NXT could ever dream of being. Two, I'd rather watch a show on television than streaming on some website. Four, it features people that couldn't win NXT the first time they were on the show, so expecting me to care about them the second time around is a stretch.

Just to see how things were going, I checked the show's results this week, and I saw that Jacob Novak was the first elimination. That makes two seasons that Novak was the first elimination. If he ever steps foot in a WWE ring after this, it's a fucking joke. However, what really grabbed my attention is that the first elimination of the show came in the final segment of the 11th episode of the season. Yes, they went through 11 entire episodes before eliminating someone.

WHAT THE FUCK TOOK SO LONG?!?

I get the line of thinking that says "well, nobody's watching, anyway, so we might as well drag this out and get as much out of things as we can", but folks, there's a reason nobody is watching in the first place. They don't have a reason to watch. To make them watch the same second-rate names for months is just cruel and unusual. People have told me the company is trying to build their characters. Well, they've had three months worth of television dedicated to them, plus whatever they had dedicated to them in previous seasons, and let's not forget Darren Young, who was on Raw and Smackdown for a while with the original Nexus storyline. If you still haven't figured out just what these guys are bringing to the table, it's probably because the table is clear. That, or you're an idiot, but because I'm nice, I'm going to go with the first idea.

To make it even worse, there's no word when the next elimination will take place. It could be 11 more weeks before someone is sent home. Just end the season already so the next one can start. Stop wasting everyone's time. Maybe the next season will have someone worth caring about.

You know what TNA doesn't need? Another title.
Let me see if I can get this straight..

TNA has a show called Xplosion that used to air in all of their markets, but now is an international show without airing here in the United States. The show is part-Impact highlights and part-new action. This week, TNA decided to add a new title called the TNA Xplosion Championship (those clever bastards). The title gives its holder the opportunity to challenge any champion on Impact for their title.

When I first read the news, my daily streak almost went into the toilet. I began thinking about why this new title was being brought into play, and all of the nonsensical jibberyjoo led to me damn near having a stroke. For one, Xplosion isn't like NXT, where it's an entirely different brand of workers. The same people that wrestle on Xplosion wrestle on Impact. No, Sting isn't defending the World Title on Xplosion, but let's look at it.. D'Angelo Dinero and Suicide were the first two names in the Xplosion Championship tournament, and those guys are always on Impact. Other names that are appearing on Xplosion recently include Douglas Williams, Okato, Robbie E, Eric Young, Brother Devon, Tommy Dreamer, Max Buck, Jeremy Buck, etc.. all of them are regulars on Impact. Why do they need to go to another show to compete for a chance at a title on the show they're already on? Also, what happens if they win? Say, for example, D'Angelo Dinero becomes the very first Xplosion Champion. Then, say he goes on to challenge Sting for the World Title (because the dumbest wrestler would give themselves a shot at the top title in the company, kayfabe or not). Then, say Dinero wins the World Title. Is he a dual champion? Does Sting have to appear on Xplosion after that? Will we get a brand new tournament on Xplosion every time "their" champion wins a title on Impact?

It's not a good thing when a new title is introduced and it brings up way more questions than it does answers. However, my main concern is that TNA doesn't need another title. This is the company that has 11 Knockouts on the entire roster, and one of them (Chyna) doesn't even really count because she might not make any more appearances. Why do we need a Knockouts Title and Knockouts Tag Team Titles for 10-11 total people? Why not just introduce Knockouts Six-Woman Tag Team Titles already? Then they could throw in a Knockouts Hardcore Title, a Knockouts Television Title, a Knockouts X-Division Title, a Knockouts Bra & Panties Title, and a Knockouts Legends Title? That way all the Knockouts can have a title. Everyone gets a reward! It would accurately describe the pussification of this country, where every kid in every tournament gets a trophy, ribbon, etc, no matter what they did. They could shit on themselves two seconds into the game, and they'd still get a fucking trophy for their participation. It's ridiculous.

Where the fuck was I?

Oh yeah.. Xplosion doesn't need their own title or whatever the hell it will end up being. It's another example of overbooking and overthinking in TNA, and it's something that needs to stop if they're ever truly going to move forward and become any sort of legit competition in the world of wrestling.

Writer's Note: Two related topics here..

1. This is the final request for you folks in ReaderLand to send in questions for my upcoming interview with Jeff Katz. In case you missed last week's column about Wrestling Revolution, click the following link to check it out..

Wrestling Revolution

I'd like to get the questions sent in to Mr. Katz before this weekend gets underway, so again, if you have questions, send them my way.

2. In regards to that group donation to the project that I mentioned in the column I just linked you to, it's time to start sending those donations in. If you have a PayPal account, send your donation to us at lordsofpainmagazine@gmail.com and make sure you find a way to let me know it's for Wrestling Revolution. Doesn't matter how you do it, really. Just so I know who sent what in and who I can thank for the donations (or, if the WR goal isn't met, who I can send the money back to in August). I'll let everyone know officially on the day before the donation is sent in for WR, so look out for that, hopefully in the next week or so.

The HiPE Playlist: Nothing tonight.

I hate you. I hate you. I don't even know you, and I hate your guts. I hope all the bad things in life happen to you and nobody else but you.

-------------------------Day 504

There's been a lot of talk recently that several FCW workers will be getting called up to the main WWE roster at some point soon. It's safe to assume that it will be done at around the same time as the expected roster cuts, to beef up Raw and Smackdown a bit. Makes sense to me. Can't just release a whole bunch of people and leave the shows' rosters looking thin.

Two names that are high on everyone's list for being called up are Richie Steamboat and Seth Rollins. They were both rolling along in FCW, working together as the FCW Tag Team Champions. Well.. they just dropped those titles, so now the rumors of them getting called up soon will really begin. From the moment Rollins signed his WWE contract, people assumed he'd be involved with CM Punk somehow, either as a member of Punk's stable, or as someone to come in and feud with Punk. If you put Rollins up against Punk in a feud, Punk is going to eat him alive on the mic. Punk is a better mic worker than most people in the business, but, while he's not terrible, talking isn't exactly Rollins' strong suit. That's precisely the type of thing that turns live crowds against the face in a feud. All we'd need is a week or two of strong Punk promos, and Rollins would look bad in the eyes of a large percentage of the crowd. If I had a choice between the two options, I'd put Rollins in NexSES. He's a much better worker than Michael McGillicutty, and he's damn sure better than David Otunga, so he adds a lot to the table that isn't currently there. If they are planning on putting him up against Punk, it could be an interesting way to give Punk some time off, as he's supposedly looking for. One of Rollins' finishers in FCW is called the Avada Kedavra. It's a superkick to an opponent that is either seated or on his knees. Harry Potter fans will recognize the name Avada Kedavra, because it's one of the Unforgivable Curses in the series, and is also referred to as "The Killing Curse". While I highly doubt the name of the move will be retained when Rollins moves up to the main roster, it would be a good way to put the move over. Let them have a couple matches or something, either with Punk winning or with Rollins using another finisher. Then, at the end of one match, Rollins busts that out and hits Punk right in the face with Avada Kedavra. Rollins moves on, and Punk is out. Hey, if Randy Orton can punt someone in the head and put them out of action for a few months, a superkick to a seated opponent can do the same. Before any of that, though, there's still something that Rollins needs to do in FCW before being called up. He's still the current FCW 15 Champion. For those unaware, FCW 15 Title matches are 15-minute Ironman-style matches where the person who gets the most falls in the 15 minutes is the winner. It's not a necessity that he drop the title first, though. We've seen champions in FCW make their debut on WWE programming while still owning their titles, and sometimes even under a different name (Jack Swagger was wrestling as Jake Hager and was the FCW Champion when he debuted on ECW with his new name, and didn't drop the FCW Title until a week or so later). However, if Rollins does drop the FCW 15 Title soon, let the countdown begin until he's seen on WWE television.

-----

Steamboat, on the other hand, is a little different. In my opinion, he isn't ready to be called up yet, but carries the bloodline (being the son of a WWE Hall Of Famer tends to come in handy, after all) to be placed on the roster, anyway. However, Steamboat may have been cursed with the same thing that many feel prevented his father from truly being in the conversation of all-time greats, and that is how his entire character is too far geared towards the face side of things. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat never once played a heel during his career, and there's a percentage of wrestling fans who hold that against him, saying that he's "bland", "one-dimensional", "corny", etc. They say the same things about Richie Steamboat. It's different than with John Cena, who certainly has his fair share of people who feel he's "corny", but the people who feel that way also know how good he was as a heel, and want him to return to those roots. Richie Steamboat is definitely in a situation where he'd get the "John Cena reaction" from live crowds all over the world, where the women and children would cheer for him like crazy, and the vocal majority of the men would boo him, no matter what he does. Can they find a way to add some sort of edge to his face character? Will they be able to do something for him that his father could never accomplish and make him a heel? It should be interesting.

-----

The next name on my list is someone that actually gave me the motivation for this column. I've said before that motivation often comes to me at weird times, and this is no different. I was flipping through the stations early this morning, trying to find something to watch, and I stumbled upon some show that had a villain who was a member of the Russian Mafia. The acting was horrendous, but the villain really seemed evil, and it stood out. That led me to go through my wrestling collection, where I found the 2008 TNA World X Cup. In that competition was Alex Koslov, and I watched a few of his matches. I've seen him wrestle before, but this was different. As I was watching, I began thinking of different scenarios and storylines. As I was watching, my mind went back to the WWF in 1995. Headshrinker Fatu was repackaged as a singles wrestler, using the name of Fatu. He was able to tell the youth of the world about his childhood, growing up in the ghetto, being involved with gangs, etc. His entire gimmick was that he wanted to "make a difference" in lives, trying to convince the youth to do right and get their lives heading in the right direction. At one point during that gimmick's run, two large Samoan men would continue appearing at ringside during Fatu's matches. It was never revealed, because the "make a difference" gimmick was scrapped almost immediately, but the two Samoan men were Samu (Fatu's former Headshrinker tag partner, who was working as Sammy The Silk at the time) and Samu's brother (who would later go on to wrestle on the indy scene as L.A. Smooth), together known as the Samoan Gangsta Party. Had the storyline continued to play out, the SGP were going to be revealed as members of the gang Fatu used to be in, and they'd either say that Fatu is a sell out and had forgotten who he really was, or it would lead to a heel turn for Fatu and he'd rejoin his "boys".

Before I get on with this next part, this isn't a prediction of what I think will happen. This is just how my mind works at 5am after an all-nighter. Alex Koslov is now working in FCW under the name of Peter Orlov. I started thinking of ways he could show up on the main roster, and I figured he'd be a heel. He's played a heel for a while and isn't bad at it. I first pictured him as some evil Russian Mafia-type character, but his size (he's roughly the same height and weight as Tyson Kidd) works against him in the area of intimidation, etc. So I started thinking.. and I was thinking some more.. and thinking some more.. and I couldn't help but continue coming back to one name..

Santino.

Yes, that Santino.

I've said, for a long time, that Santino has earned himself something of a big push with how over he's gotten, basically all on his own. For a long time, his in-ring work was nothing short of a joke, as he was merely a comedy character that was over, as a heel, and then as a face. Continuing to get more and more over allowed for the company to try different things with him, though.. giving him longer matches, letting him throw some legit wrestling into his matches, etc. He was still a comedy character, but was taken a bit more seriously, if you know what I mean.

If you go back through Santino's wrestling history, you have to look back when he was in Ohio Valley Wrestling, before he had even signed a deal with WWE. He was wrestling under the name of Boris Alexiev, and had a shoot fighter gimmick of sorts, where he'd come out and destroy his opponents with strikes and submission work. It was that work that caught the attention of WWE officials and what got him signed in the summer of 2006.

I'm sure the light bulb is going on for some of you already.

What if we replace Fatu with Santino and replace the Samoan Gangsta Party with Peter Orlov? Follow along with me here..

Let's say Santino is having a match on Raw one week, and for the sake of the example, let's say he's facing Tyler Reks. During the match, a man in a suit (Orlov) walks to ringside. The announcers won't know who he is, but when Santino lays eyes on him, it's crystal clear that he recognizes the man. Santino goes on to win the match and walks away from the man, almost appearing to be afraid of him or something.

The same thing goes on for a couple weeks, with Santino being visited by this mysterious man. One week, after his match, Santino walks up to the man and asks what he's doing there. The man's response can be something simple like "You know why I am here." in a thick Russian accent. The following week, have Santino lose his match with the mystery man at ringside. As Santino is down, the man gets in the ring with a microphone and cuts a promo about how the time for "fun and games is over" and that he (Santino) needed to remember why he is here. Santino looks sad, and like he doesn't know what to do. The man gives him one more week to "make it right".

The following week, Santino picks up another victory, and once again, the man enters the ring. Again, the man tells Santino to remember why he is here. After a few seconds of contemplating things, Santino turns around and picks his opponent (for example's sake, let's say it's JTG) up. He nails JTG with a stiff suplex, followed by rolling through and locking a triangle choke in. Vladimir Kozlov would then come running down, looking to make the save. When he gets in the ring, though, he smiles, and all three men shake hands and hug. We then get the promo by Santino to tie everything together. He says the mystery man is Peter Orlov, and he says he (Santino) has been lying to people the entire time. He says his "real" name is Boris Alexiev (he has dropped the Italian accent for the Russian accent he had in OVW). He came to America to find success in the wrestling business, etc. For added intrigue to the entire thing, he could name-drop Vince McMahon and say Vince didn't think "Boris Alexiev was marketable enough", so he changed his name to Santino Marella, saying that he could make a lot of money with that gimmick. Kozlov was sent to America to keep an eye on him, but eventually, word came from "higher powers" that there would be no more fooling around. That's why Orlov was sent to find him.

Turn them into a Russian Mafia-like stable, without actually saying they're members of the Russian Mafia. Raw's midcard grows stronger with the push, and hell, you could go ahead and throw Alexiev into the main event if you play your cards right. It would be his "reward" for the years of silly gimmicks, etc. The stable would have varied parts.. the muscle (Kozlov), the high-flier (Orlov) and the technician/submission specialist (Alexiev). Orlov probably isn't going to be pushed to be a multiple-time World Champion or anything, but he's been trusted enough to damn near be a trainer in his time in FCW, working with Sin Cara before Sin Cara debuted (he worked in Mexico with Sin Cara before), and also doing work with Jeremiah of Tough Enough. He has the chops to pull off being successful with his style, having worked in the Lucha Libre style, but also having plenty of training in the Puro style. It's exactly the type of well-balanced style that the company seems to be looking for with its new workers.

Again, this is all something I came up with at 5-something in the morning after pulling an all-nighter, so it might not be the most well thought out plan in the history of plandom, but it's still something that benefits everyone. Santino is deserving of something better than what he has right now. Orlov would be placed in a nice situation right off the bat. Kozlov would get taken seriously again (as far as a character goes, not as a title contender). We, the fans, would get some good wrestling. Raw's roster strength would improve. It's a win/win/win/win/win situation.

The HiPE Playlist: "Mr. Ice Cream Man" by Master P.. "Make Em Say Uhh" by Master P, Mystikal, Silkk The Shocker, Mia X & Fiend.. "Captain Kirk" by Master P, Mystikal, Silkk The Shocker & Fiend.. "A Milli" by Lil Wayne & Cory Gunz.. "6 Foot 7 Foot" by Lil Wayne & Cory Gunz.. "This Is Why I'm Hot" by Lil Wayne.. "I Feel Like Dying" by Lil Wayne.. "Tha Block Is Hot" by Lil Wayne.. "Shine" by Lil Wayne, Hot Boys & Mannie Fresh.. "Ha" by Juvenile.. "Nolia Clap" by Juvenile, Wacko & Skip.. "Down Bottom" by Juvenile & Drag-on.. "Project Bitch" by Big Tymers, Lil Wayne & Juvenile.. "#1 Stunna" by Big Tymers, Lil Wayne & Juvenile.. "Still Fly" by Big Tymers

I'm for truth, no matter who tells it. I'm for justice, no matter who it's for or against.

-------------------------Day 505

There's going to be a lot of reading for you folks in ReaderLand today. Not only will you get my normal Friday entry of a Smackdown Running Diary and my new entry in my 30 Day Challenge series, but you'll get what I'm about to write, which will end up being a full-length column all by itself before I post my Running Diary. When I'm done with this column, it will be posted, and my RD will be edited in at the normal time, so if you're reading this and there's only one column today, check back later. My usual accoutrement (Writer's Note, HiPE Playlist, etc) will come in the second column.

There are days, however, when something happens and it needs to be talked about. Today is one of those days. I'm sure you've heard the news by now, but "Macho Man" Randy Savage passed away this morning after suffering a massive heart attack while driving. His vehicle veered across the median and ended up colliding with a tree, but people are assuming the heart attack was what took his life, based on the fact that the vehicle's passenger, his wife, only had what were described as "minor injuries".

Just yesterday, as part of my 30 Day Challenge, I chose Savage for "Most Deserving To Be Entered Into The WWE Hall Of Fame Who Has Yet To Be Inducted". Here's a little bit of what I said..

"Macho Man" Randy Savage

Let's take a look at some of his accomplishments, first and foremost..

- 4 WCW Title reigns
- 2 WWF Title reigns
- 1 WWF Intercontinental Title reign
- 1987 King Of The Ring winner
- 1995 World War 3 winner

The first two things listed should be enough, really. Six overall World Title reigns. If you've won that many World Titles in your career, you belong in the Hall Of Fame, but Randy Savage's contribution to the world of wrestling goes beyond title belts. He was one of the biggest names in the world of wrestling from the mid-1980s until the late-1990s. He was one of the most naturally charismatic performers the business has ever seen, in any era. A lot of the wrestlers we watch right now would tell you that he is one of, if not the, biggest reasons that they got into wrestling to begin with, and they'd probably list either Savage's match with Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat at WrestleMania 3 or his match with Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania 5 (and the storyline that led up to it) as personal favorites.

Every word of that is true. Let's be real here, folks.. in the coming days and weeks, you're going to read a lot of people overexaggerating their Randy Savage fandom, just like when every wrestler passes away. It's pretty much a general "rule" with most of the IWC.. take a wrestler and rank them on a scale of 1-10, and then, when they pass away, add a couple points to the original ranking you gave them. I'm not going to be one of those people. I know a lot of folks that have legitimately given Savage praise through the years, saying he's one of the best wrestlers of all-time. In my rough draft of my rankings.. which only span throughout my lifetime, because I'm not comfortable enough with ranking guys like Lou Thesz and Frank Gotch, who wrestled long before I was born.. I keep finding myself putting Savage in different spots between #8 and #12. Because I know people are going to ask.. no, I'm not posting my list here. It's not the time for it, but it does give me a future column idea, so don't worry. Even if Savage does end up at #12 on my list, that's still a tremendous compliment. Of every wrestler I've ever seen in the last 30 years, that would mean I feel only 11 of them are better than the Macho Man.

I turn 29 in July. I've been watching wrestling for about 25 of those 29 years. One of the very first big wrestling events I ever watched was WrestleMania 3, which featured Savage's legendary Intercontinental Title match with Ricky Steamboat that I mentioned earlier, so I'm honored and privileged to have been able to watch Randy Savage's career as he was ascending towards the top of the business, through to all of his World Title victories and great moments, all the way up to his retirement. That's why this passing has hit me so hard. When you're a big wrestling fan for long enough, it's like you grow up with these guys. Some can say they were lucky enough to know Randy Savage personally, or have at least met him. I can't say that I've ever met him, but when you see him on television week in and week out, month after month, year after year, it's basically the next best thing. I'm not ashamed to admit I shed some tears this morning. Just an incredibly sad time overall.

Of course, everyone is now discussing the WWE Hall Of Fame. People are outraged that Savage isn't already in the Hall Of Fame, and are taking it all out on Vince McMahon. Folks, I'm going to say this only once, but I'll try to make it as clear as I possibly can.. none of us know the real story about what happened between McMahon and Savage through the years. Sure, there are rumors, and people can make assumptions, but we don't know the truth, and chances are, we might never know the truth. Vince could very well be justified in his decision to keep Savage out of the Hall, but because we don't know, it's irresponsible for us to assume and cast stones towards him for this. With Randy's passing, I do think we'll end up getting his induction into the HoF in 2012 or 2013, but you know what? It's a lose/lose situation for Vince. If he inducts him now, he's "only trying to capitalize financially on Savage's death". If he doesn't induct him, he's "scum of the earth". Ladies and gentlemen.. let's all grow up for a bit. It's Vince's Hall Of Fame. If he wanted to induct Curt Hawkins into the Hall TODAY, he has every right to do so, and there's nothing any of us can do about it.

If you're looking for some recommendations, here are some to check out..

My absolute favorite Randy Savage match of all-time isn't the Steamboat bout, nor was it his high-profile match against Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania 5. Instead, I'd go with his match against The Ultimate Warrior at WrestleMania 7. Of all the matches Savage had in his career, that was probably the best showcase of his in-ring ability. Having a great match with the likes of Ricky Steamboat is fine and dandy, but I could probably have faced Steamboat in the late-80s and had at least a 1.75 star match. For Randy Savage to step in the ring with the likes of Warrior, though, have the match go over 20 minutes and still have it reach 4 stars? Insanity.. or, perhaps more fitting today.. madness. That was Warrior's best match by a country mile. Here's the match..

WWE Wrestlemania 7 - Randy Savage vs... by Joe81425
WWE Wrestlemania 7 - Randy Savage vs... by Joe81425
WWE Wrestlemania 7 - Randy Savage vs... by Joe81425

In that third video, you'll also get to witness my favorite Randy Savage moment.. when he turned face and reunited with Miss Elizabeth. It was beautifully done. It made an 8-year-old Hustle cry at the time, and if I'm not careful, it'll make a 28-year-old Hustle cry, knowing that both Elizabeth and now Savage are no longer with us. By the way, I know it's popular to comment that the "Match Made In Heaven" have been reunited in the proper place, which is fine, but let's not also forget that Randy is leaving behind a wife that was his first love. People know that Savage just had his 1-year wedding anniversary, but what many people don't know is that he was dating this woman for years prior to the wedding. What even less people know is that he had a relationship with this woman before he had even met Miss Elizabeth. If you're the praying type, let's not forget to add her to your prayers, as she is, without a doubt, suffering tremendously right now. Of course, that merely reminds me to remind all of you.. let the people you love know how you feel. Family, friends, significant others.. anybody that means a lot to you.. tell them. The family and friends of Randy Savage don't have that opportunity anymore. If you have someone that you're not on good terms with, and especially if it's over some bullshit, squash it. Once you lose this opportunity, you're not getting it back.

I apologize sincerely if this column seems disjointed. It's almost 11am here, and I have yet to receive any sleep. I pulled an all-nighter, and as it was time to start winding down, the rumors of Savage's passing began hitting the 'net, and I've been awake ever since. I just needed to get something posted, to get it out of my system. It's been a crazy morning. In closing, I leave you with the following picture, which is perfect right now, and pretty much sums everything up..

Rest In Power, Macho. We'll never forget you.

-------------------------Day 505.5

7:30pm: What a day. Thank you, DVR, for holding things down for me once again.

7:31pm: We're starting with a match this week, instead of the usual promo. Nice.

7:31pm: It's a shameful thing, Lobster Head! Sheamus is out to challenge Christian. This could be good.

7:32pm: Picture-in-picture interview segment! I love those! I used to mark out for them on shows like Saturday Night's Main Event, and I continue marking out for them today, even though they rarely do them anymore. It was only Sheamus talking for something like 15 seconds, but it was still awesome to me.

7:34pm: This is a good combination because Sheamus wrestles a very physical style, and Christian is one of the better sellers in the entire company, which will make Sheamus look like an even bigger threat, win or lose.

7:36pm: Booker, the word is "cojones", not "kahunas". Different language, different words altogether, you dumb fuck.

7:39pm: Nice match so far. Christian continues fighting, and he finds an opening to get some offense in, but Sheamus is able to counter it almost right away, controlling the match.

7:41pm: After a two-count for Christian, Booker said that proves how bad Christian wants to win. Why? Because he didn't get the win? Because he went for the pin in the first place? As opposed to what, all of those wrestlers who don't want to win, so they refuse to go for pins? Booker, you're a fucking idiot, and I hope you permanently lose your voice soon.

7:43pm: Christian gets the victory. Hard-fought match. Very nice way to start the show.

7:43pm: Mark Henry (slowly) runs out, and now we have Christian getting beaten down once again.

7:43pm: Randy Orton is out and is just standing there on the stage while Sheamus and Mark Henry are attacking Christian. Can't argue with that strategy, I guess. He has a World Title defense against Christian this weekend, so he might as well let Christian take just a little bit more of a beating before he makes the save.

7:46pm: Brie Bella VS Natalya. Fuck it.. because it's Natalya, I'll watch this match and not fast forward through the Diva matches like I usually do on Smackdown.

7:47pm: "What the hell are you talking about?!?" - I'll say it again.. when Michael Cole continues to look like the genius of the entire operation, you know Booker T is bad. Really bad. When Cole heels up on people like Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross, it's just heel work. When he heels up on Booker, it's all legitimate and makes perfect sense. He's shooting half the time.

7:49pm: ..Brie wins cleanly. Fuck. Today sucks. Kharma, anyone?!?

7:50pm: ..or not. So, Brie wins and we don't get to see Kharma at all. I should have just fast forwarded.

7:52pm: Ezekiel Jackson is cutting a promo, and judging by the way he's talking, I can just tell the "What??" chants have been edited out in post-production.

7:55pm: Ezekiel Jackson, Big Show & KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE VS Wade Bar-ruh, Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel? That face squad is simply unfair. My goodness.

7:59pm: Within 30 seconds, Gabriel took a chop to the chest from Big Show and a forearm to the back from Zeke. I honestly don't know how Gabriel's entire sternum didn't collapse. That was for you, Booker.

8:02pm: The Corre has been on offense for a lot more of this match than I would have expected. I don't know how I feel about that. They need some strong booking, yes, but guys like Slater and Gabriel getting the physical advantage over guys like Zeke, Show and KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE? I don't know about that, and I don't think many people are buying that at all.

8:04pm: Zeke just struggled to pick Gabriel up, and he couldn't do it. This is the man that can lift the Big Show up over his head. *sigh*

8:06pm: The faces win, but that match went on way too long, considering how.. well.. limited most of the guys in the match are. Nice that they gave Zeke a Torture Rack finisher, though, even if he's going to end up killing someone in the move one day.

8:09pm: Chavo Guerrero is going to wrestle! What year is this?!? Awesome.

8:10pm: Chavo says he's going to beat Daniel Bryan in under five minutes. Sad, because this match deserves much more time than that. Let's hope the Sin Cara VS Chavo Guerrero match at Over The Limit gets plenty of time to work with.

8:15pm: With 30 seconds to go, why the fuck would Chavo go for the Three Amigos suplexes?!?

8:15pm: Bryan kicks out of the Frog Splash! I didn't see that coming.

8:16pm: Sin Cara is out, but he saves the FINGERPOINT OF DOOM~! for after his attack on Chavo.

8:17pm: Overall, that was stupid booking. While I don't want to see Daniel Bryan squashed, and would have booked someone else in the match if I were in charge, does Bryan have a match at Over The Limit? Does Chavo Guerrero? Chavo should have been booked to look strong going into the pay-per-view. It's not rocket science, damnit.

8:19pm: Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes are walking to the ring together. Interesting.

8:20pm: lol @ Cody saying that providing the paper bags for the fans came at "great expense" to him. I got more paper bags than that in my house right now.

8:20pm: Cody gives Ted a paper bag and tells him to put it on his head. Ted does as he is told.

8:21pm: Ted says his name is "Corpus Christi" (Smackdown is in Corpus Christi, Texas) and he says he does it because he is "hideous". He's doing it with a cartoonish Mexican accent, too. The fuck is going on? This is funny and weird at the same time.

8:23pm: DiBiase VS Trent Barreta. Let the squash begin.

8:24pm: Hey, it was a squash. Point for me.

8:26pm: The Great Khali VS Jey Uso. Another squash is coming.

8:28pm: Jinder Mahal is out, and he's speaking to Khali in their native tongue. Mahal still hasn't learned how to deliver a slap yet, which isn't a good sign for him at all.

8:30pm: Khali wins. Nobody cares. Why waste this storyline on giving Khali any type of push?!? Use it to create the Russian Mafia stable I wrote about yesterday, damnit.

8:31pm: Main event time. Randy Orton VS Mark Henry in a non-title match. This has potential to be one of the slowest matches we've ever seen.

8:34pm: The crowd is already dead, and then Mark Henry goes on the offensive, killing them even further. It's like taking a dead body, digging it up and then ripping the skull off.

8:37pm: Sheamus is out to attack Orton, drawing a disqualification, and it actually gets the crowd to react to something.

8:38pm: Christian is out, and he's returning the favor to Orton, just standing there on the stage while Sheamus and Henry beat Orton up in the ring.

8:40pm: What.. the hell.. kind of celebration was that, Randy? He did a bit of a dance before he hit an RKO on Mark Henry, then immediately got up and hit a cheerleading split in mid air, followed by some extra dancing..

8:41pm: Just weird.

#ThankYouRandySavage: Christian VS Sheamus.. Natayla returning to Smackdown.. Daniel Bryan VS Chavo Guerrero.. Sin Cara VS Chavo Guerrero being announced for Over The Limit.. Some sort of direction for Ted DiBiase (maybe).. Plenty of in-ring action

#FuckYouMattHardy: Natalya returning to Smackdown and being wasted.. No Kharma.. Six-man tag went too long.. The booking team still not allowing Chavo Guerrero to look strong

Grade: B-

Writer's Note: Don't get used to this "two full length columns a day" thing, folks. Ha.

The HiPE Playlist: Smackdown.

I'm.. Repairman-man-man-man-man..

Source: lordsofpain.net