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1. Day 506 - Over The Limit Predictions

2. Day 507 - #FuckYouCreativeTeam

2.5 Day 508 - Raw Running Diary

4. Day 509 - If you think Kharma is a bitch now, wait until her third trimester..

5. Day 510 - Who Is "The Best"? (Introduction)

Day 506

Writer's Note: I'd like to send a very sincere "thank you" to Randy Savage for sacrificing himself so that he could go to heaven and personally stop the rapture from taking place. Many an elbow drop was delivered, and for that, we are all safe. Praise be to Macho.

WWE Over The Limit is tomorrow, and you know what that means.. it's prediction time. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!!

Sin Cara VS Chavo Guerrero
Before anything else, I'll say this.. I don't care if he shoots him in the face and brings 20 other people in to attack Sin Cara.. if Chavo Guerrero wins this match, the WWE Creative Team is full of people who should be drawn and quartered on live television. Chavo hasn't been booked to look good since early 2008, when he was the ECW Champion. Then, of course, he lost the title to KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE at WrestleMania 24 in negative-two seconds, and it's been all downhill from there, where he even jobbed to Hornswoggle for what seemed like months on end. The writers weren't even smart enough to give Chavo a victory on Smackdown leading into the pay-per-view. Damn.. maybe they really will have him win here. I wouldn't be surprised to see Chavo lose, but attack Sin Cara after the match or something, just to keep the feud going, but Chavo winning here? Ha. I laugh at the idea.
Winner: Sin Cara

Brie Bella VS Kelly Kelly - Singles Match for the Divas Title
I can't think of a single reason to be excited for this match, unless Kharma decides to get involved during a match, instead of her usual post-match routine. People are merely going to be counting down the seconds until Kharma makes her appearance, but as for the match itself, I think "twin magic" will come into play once again, and the usual Bella tomfoolery will lead to Brie retaining the title. Once the match is over, it should be interesting to see what Kharma does, as she has had interaction with both Kelly and the Bellas, so we can only hope she destroys all three of them and puts them all on the shelf. I'm guessing that Kharma will wrestle soon.. eventually.. maybe.. probably.. and when she does, she'll probably win the Divas Title. More people want to see her destroy Brie Bella, though, so it makes sense to keep the title on Brie for now.
Winner: Brie Bella (Still Divas Champion)

Rey Mysterio VS R-Truth
The build-up to this has been well-discussed by people, and the reaction seems to be split down the middle. Some feel it has been masterful, especially in such a brief amount of time now that John Morrison is injured, and that R-Truth is really coming into his own as a heel. Others feel things were hastily put together, and that R-Truth, while different and moving in a fresh direction, isn't fully believable in this new role. Either way, I think this could very well turn out to be a match that steals the show. As I've said on a few occasions, when wrestlers work with Rey Mysterio, they're able to step their games up. Most of them aren't used to being the bigger man in their matches, so when they face Mysterio, they can add aggression and new moves to their arsenal, and Rey's selling of that new offense makes them look like a million bucks. Throw in the extra aggression that Truth is already using with this heel turn, and there's plenty of potential for Rey to take quite the ass kicking. Does the company go with the "proven commodity" in Mysterio here, or do they roll the dice with Truth? It really depends on how John Morrison's rehab is going, to be honest. If Morrison is able to return at the "best case" scenario given in the initial timetable after he had surgery, he'll be back in time for the company's next pay-per-view, Capitol Punishment. If he does, there's no doubt that he'll be facing Truth at the event, so the "smart" decision would be to have Truth get the win at Over The Limit to give him momentum. However, if Morrison has to wait for the "worst case" that was given in the initial timetable, you're probably looking at a return for him at Capitol Punishment or very soon thereafter. If that's the case, I would think the Rey/Truth feud has to continue on for Capitol Punishment. I'll play it safe and say that Morrison won't be rushed back. I think he'll be brought back at Capitol Punishment itself and will be the reason Truth loses. For Over The Limit, though, I don't think we're going to get a clean victory at all. It just makes sense to have Truth get himself disqualified after Rey begins making his big comeback. Then they have reason to continue feuding for another pay-per-view.
Winner: Rey Mysterio by DQ

Jerry Lawler VS Michael Cole in a "Kiss My Foot" Match
Words simply cannot express just how baffled I am that we've reached this point in the Lawler/Cole/JR feud. Giving them one match was enough, but at this point, it's just ridiculous. I don't know a single person.. Lawler fans and Cole fans included.. that are looking forward to seeing them wrestle each other again. Each and every time they face each other, I say the same thing.. this had better be the time Cole finally gets his come-uppance and the feud ends. I really, really mean it this time. It sickens me that they take up so much time on Raw every week. They get promo segments, and even when other matches are taking place, all they do is argue with each other and talk about themselves. That does zero for the overall product, and I don't know how the creative team isn't aware of that. Lawler wins here, and after Cole kisses Lawler's foot, Lawler gets extra revenge by forcing Cole to kiss his own foot, a la what Bret Hart made Lawler himself do at their "Kiss My Foot" match. I'm not even going to bother trying to predict anything about Jack Swagger turning face. I don't know what the hell they're thinking at this point. If he turns face, great. If not, it's time for the *Kanye shrug*..

Winner: Jerry Lawler

Big Show & KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE VS CM Punk & Mason Ryan - Tag Match for the Tag Team Titles
Another odd match here, as I mentioned in my Raw Running Diary. You book CM Punk to defeat the United States Champion in a non-title match, and then place him in a match for the Tag Team Titles later in the show. Brilliant. Just brilliant. The booking of both the NexSES and Corre go back and forth between making them look strong and making them look like trash, but, as formidable a team as the champions are, there's just less that can be done with them on both shows. The extra travel and matches work better with younger workers and ones that aren't carrying around 800-ish pounds between the team members. Unfortunately, if Punk and Ryan win the belts, they'll be lucky to hold them until Capitol Punishment. Remember, the company can't help but give them the teeter-totter booking, after all. The NexSES win here, probably with some help from Michael McGillicutty and/or David Otunga, and we all begin hoping that maybe it will make Punk happy for a little while, in hopes that he sticks around.
Winners: CM Punk & Mason Ryan (New Tag Team Champions)

Wade Bar-ruh VS Ezekiel Jackson - Singles Match for the Intercontinental Title
Current Big Thing is a son of a bitch. In the Over The Limit preview column that SkittleZ posted yesterday, CBT predicted the exact outcome for this match that I've been thinking would happen here. Props to him, I guess. That's what I get for waiting until the night before the show to post my predictions. In case you didn't read the SkittleZ, column, though, I see it like this.. Zeke is rolling along, and is about to pick up the win, when Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel make their presence known. Zeke is able to get through it, but Slater and Gabriel's interference still distracts the referee enough for Skip Sheffield to make his surprise return to the company, dropping Zeke with a stiff lariat. The ref turns back around in time to see Bar-ruh lift Zeke up and hit him with the Wasteland to get the win. Skip tweeted two weeks ago that he was set to return "very soon", so it makes sense. The Corre lost Zeke, obviously, so they're really lacking in the "muscle" department. Then we'll see just how true the rumors of Vince McMahon being a big Skip Sheffield fan really are.
Winner: Wade Bar-ruh (Still Intercontinental Champion)

Randy Orton VS Christian - Singles Match for the World Title
Which Randy Orton is going to show up? Will it be the "Viper" that we all know and some of us love, or will it be..

..that guy? Either way, I think Orton and Christian have a lot to live up to here. Their match on Smackdown was really good, and if they follow it up with a dud here, it will be quite the disappointment. I think Christian knows how important this match is to him, win or lose. If this match ends up flopping, and Christian doesn't win, he knows that could, and probably would, damage his standing of the eyes of those who matter within the company. He'll work his ass off here, and he's enough to help Orton look strong, as well. I still think we're going to end up with a Christian heel turn out of this entire thing, and to help move that along, I think it would be for the greater good to have him lose here. Another "failure" here would go a long way in causing him to finally snap and be pissed at Orton for "taking his dream away". Maybe we'll even get some of that heel turn after the match here when Orton is celebrating, and offers a handshake to Christian after he finally gets up. We shall see.
Winner: Randy Orton (Still World Champion)

John Cena VS The Miz - "I Quit" Match for the WWE Title
Whether you're a Cena fan or a Miz fan, chances are you already assume Cena is going to win this match. The thinking is that Cena's character just isn't built to say "I Quit" for any reason, no matter what happens. Of course, the obvious rebuttal to that is neither was Mankind's character back in 1999, but he still lost an "I Quit" match to The Rock. Sure, he lost because Rock had a segment of an earlier Mankind promo, where he uttered the words "I Quit", played, and that's what led to the loss, but it was still a loss. We could be seeing something along those lines here, but that wouldn't fit in with Miz saying he had something new planned to win the match. He said we have never seen his method before, and, of course, we've seen the Mankind method before. Sure, the average wrestling fan doesn't remember that match at all, but still.. I don't think that's what it will be. In the end, I don't think it will matter, because I'm one of those people that feel Cena wins the match. Yes, that means I typed out all of those sentences for no reason. Miz will try.. and try.. and try.. and try to get Cena to say the words, but it just won't happen. As much as I continue denying it when people say that Cena will probably end up holding the WWE Title for an entire year so that he can bring the title into WrestleMania 28, I just can't figure out a good time for Cena to lose it. Maybe it's a future column topic or something. I don't know. Another pay-per-view ends with John Cena and Randy Orton on top of the wrestling world, though.
Winner: John Cena (Still WWE Champion)

The HiPE Playlist: "Jar Of Hearts" by Christina Perri.. "Beware" by Big Pun.. "Still Not A Player" by Big Pun & Joe.. "The Dream Shatterer" by Big Pun.. "It's So Hard" by Big Pun & Donell Jones.. "Brazilian Crying Season" by Charles Hamilton.. "Come On Pretty Baby" by City Side.. "Just One Night" by Ekolu.. "Honestly" by Ekolu.. "If I Was Your Man" by Ekolu.. "It's The Way I Feel About You" by Ekolu.. "She's Music To Me" by Ekolu.. "Do What Lovers Do" by Three Plus.. "Is This Love" by Three Plus.. "Don't Have To Think Twice" by Three Plus

Hey, Stu, your rent's due, motherfucker! Now, don't be pulling that falling down the stairs shit on me again, you hear?!? You conscious! Every month, the same damn thing!

Hustle
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-Team Sleep--------------------------Day 507

It amazes me how lazy the WWE Creative Team can be sometimes.

Alright, most of the time.

Okay, okay.. damn near all of the time.

We basically get the same main event names, month in and month out, year in and year out. Those main eventers are pretty much booked exactly the same, month in and month out, year in and year out. Midcarders aren't paid attention to, month in and month out, year in and year out. It's just a continuous circle for.. you guessed it.. month in and month out, year in and year out.

It's crystal clear that they don't know how to take chances or how to branch out a bit, and always revert back to the "safe" method of booking things. What we saw at the end of tonight's Over The Limit pay-per-view proves that. The Miz was dominating John Cena in their "I Quit" match. Absolutely dominating him. We got a rehash of the 1999 Royal Rumble "I Quit" match between Mankind and The Rock with a recording of Cena saying "I Quit" from a previous promo was played, and the match was ended in favor of Miz. Replaying the Mankind/Rock ending was bad and lazy enough. That wasn't the end, though.

As the referee is going to retrieve the WWE Title to present it to the new champion, he sees a tape recorder on the ground near Cena. He picks it up, notices the tape is at its end, and rewinds it. When he hears the recording of Cena's voice, he restarts the match. It is at this point when things begin to unravel. Cena took Alex Riley out pretty easily, then proceeded to whip Miz with a belt like Miz just disrespected Massa. He ends up chasing Miz to the stage and locks the STF in, and Miz says "I Quit" after a second or two. Cena seemingly gets his ass kicked for 20+ minutes, before dishing out an Attitude Adjustment through an announce table on Riley, which took him out completely. Then the stuff that led to Miz losing the match.

Here's something you folks probably never thought you'd see in one of my columns..

SuperCena went too far.

The WWE Creative Team.. wow.. there really aren't any words to accurately describe their incompetence sometimes. This isn't the 1980s anymore. I'm sure most of you are aware of that minor detail, but it doesn't seem like the Creative Team is. We know damn well that Vince McMahon isn't aware of it. Wrestling fans, in general, are too smart for the old Hulk Hogan routine of getting beat up for a while, then "Hulking up" and hitting three or four moves to win a match. Back then, fans ate it up. Those were the times, and the people loved Hogan. People didn't question the booking.

2011 is a different beast, though. People are questioning the booking. They can't book Cena like that all the time. They can't book Randy Orton as SuperOrton all the time. They just keep going back to the same thing again and again. This isn't necessarily about how strong the booking just made Cena look. Instead, it's a lot more about how weak the booking made The Miz look. This is easily the weakest that Miz has looked in years. Yes, years. You probably have to go back to 2006, when Miz was squashed by The Boogeyman at the Armageddon pay-per-view for the last time Miz looked this bad. Even before he was the WWE Champion, he was always having some sort of success and legitimacy as the United States Champion or through his reigns as one-half of the Tag Team Champions, but this.. this sets him back through everything that he accomplished.

I get that he's a heel, and that "I Quit" matches are made for the faces to look good and come out victorious, but Miz looks like a bitch now. He gave up after some belt lashings and no more than two seconds in a submission hold. That's it. Hornswoggle takes more punishment than that on a regular basis. Michael Cole, through all of his heel bravado and braggadocio, takes more punishment than that. Every single Diva that has ever been employed by the company takes more punishment than that. This just about finishes Miz in the eyes of the casual viewer. Nobody's going to take him seriously now. They have no reason to. He's nothing more than a bitch in their eyes now, and for what? To give Cena a victory he was going to get, anyway?!?

How difficult would it be to book a fucking match that features plenty of give and take? The storyline was that Miz would need to go above and beyond everything he's done in the past to get the victory, and that's fine. Let him showcase increased aggression. Let him take chances that he wouldn't otherwise take. Let him get desperate. Not only does he want "his" WWE Title back, but he wants to go down in history as the man that made the mighty John Cena say "I Quit". At the same time, though, Cena's entire life has been revealed in storylines as being a wrestler, and being the champion is at the very top of that. To make sure he keeps the title, and to make sure he doesn't have to give Miz the pleasure of bragging to the world for the rest of time, Cena should be able to showcase increased aggression, as well. Cena should be able to take chances that he wouldn't otherwise take. Cena should be able to get desperate. Back and forth for 25 minutes, drawing the crowd in, building both men up. Cena eventually gets the win, and he looks strong for doing so, but at the same time, Miz looks strong because of just how much Cena had to do to get the victory.

Fuck you, Creative Team. I have no booking experience whatsoever, and I can figure this shit out. It might be a bit of an exaggeration on my part, but you may have just ruined one of the people you're supposed to view as the future of the company. Sad. Even as a Cena fan, I can't accept this garbage.

The HiPE Playlist: "I Seen A Man Die" by Scarface.. "Hand Of The Dead Body" by Scarface & Ice Cube.. "Southside" by Scarface.. "Smile" by Scarface, 2Pac & Johnny P.. "Look Me In My Eyes" by Scarface.. "In My Time" by Scarface.. "Guess Who's Back" by Scarface, Jay-Z & Beanie Sigel.. "My Block" by Scarface.. "I Ain't The One" by Scarface & WC.. "Big Dogg Status" by Scarface & Wacko.. "Girl You Know" by Scarface & Trey Songz.. "Burn" by Scarface & Z-Ro.. "Dollar" by Scarface.. "Who Do You Believe In" by Scarface.. "High Powered" by Scarface & Papa Reu

Older the berry, the sweeter the juice.

Man, it's "blacker the berry, sweeter the juice".

Yeah, well, she blacker than a muh'fucka, too.

-------------------------Day 508

9:00pm: After watching the end of Tough Enough, I have no doubt in my mind that "Stone Cold" Steve Austin gets his absolute jollies by verbally abusing these kids in the bottom three every week.

9:00pm: Well, we got a "In Memory Of" for Randy Savage to start the show. Not quite the lengthy video package that some people were hoping for, but eh, the night is still young.

9:02pm: Jerry Lawler starting the show with a promo. Not quite the start to Raw I was expecting. I'm also going to try and stop having sentences in tonight's Running Diary begin with "Not quite.." again.

9:04pm: Lawler brings out Bret Hart, fresh from his surprising return to the company at Over The Limit.

9:05pm: Alright, now R-Truth is out to interrupt Bret's promo.

9:06pm: "How many championship matches did I been in?" - *facepalm*

9:06pm: "I didn't care about the little Jimmies like you did." - Pause.

9:07pm: "I need to find me a little Jimmy." - Pause. Truth, you're fucking killing me out here.

9:08pm: Truth giving Bret's glasses to a kid in the front row, and then saying that should mean he's next in line for a title shot probably wasn't a shot at Teddy Long's decision to give Randy Orton a World Title shot based on popularity, but damn if it didn't come across as one.

9:10pm: It's another one of those segments with 29 people being involved. Now John Cena is out before Truth and Bret skip right past the first five piers and brawl at pier six.

9:11pm: "Used ta' is a roosta' from Brewsta'.." - WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS UNINTELLIGENT MOTHERFUCKER TALKING ABOUT?!? All of his promos are ranking ridiculously high on the unintentional comedy scale. Whatever makes him stand out, though, I guess.

9:14pm: John Cena & Rey Mysterio VS CM Punk & R-Truth, with Bret Hart as the special referee, is tonight's main event. Interesting.. we've already hinted at a feud between Cena and Truth, and reports from earlier today said that a possible feud between Cena and Punk is coming, so tonight could be the start of that.

9:16pm: Big Show and KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE are talking backstage, only to be interrupted by Ricardo Rodriguez, who gets bullied away, only to be saved by Alberto Del Rrrrrio, who cuts a promo on both men in Spanish, which sends the 14-foot-tall Tag Team Champions walking away, but not before Josh Matthews randomly yells out KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE's name on commentary. Seriously. That's all he said. I'm not sure he's aware of where he is right now. Someone should check to see if his nose is bleeding.

9:20pm: Tag Team Title match to start tonight's in-ring action part of the festivities. The challengers? David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty. Holy shit. I can already hear televisions changing channels.

9:23pm: lol @ Punk, on commentary, saying that he had a "120-degree fever" last night, and that's why he and Mason Ryan didn't win the Tag Team Titles at Over The Limit. That Punk.. he's a really tough guy. First, he overcomes an attack by 36 armed assailants last year, and now, he battles through a 120-degree fever. Incredible.

9:28pm: As below average as McGillicutty is, he really needs to be the one handling the majority of the work in this match for his team. Otunga has yet to learn a single thing in an entire year of being on the main roster.

9:30pm: Oh.. my.. goodness. Otunga and McGillicutty are the brand new WWE Tag Team Champions. As if the tag division wasn't a joke to begin with. Yikes.

9:36pm: Jerry Lawler pronounces Oregon as "Orry-gun". Josh Matthews pronounces it as "Orry-gone". Good to know.

9:37pm: Randy Orton signed autographs at Wallywallywallywallywallywally World. Good for him. He seems to be changing a lot in regards to his fan interaction outside of the ring.

9:39pm: Stop screaming at Scott Stanford, Big Show. You'll never get a chance to appear on Zack Ryder's show if you keep that up.

9:41pm: The former Tag Champs are overacting their way right into WrestleCrap here after ADR's car "ran Show over". If you look at the positioning of that little ass car, and where Show was with his leg underneath the car, it didn't look realistic at all. Unless Show was just chillin on the ground and the car ran his leg over, that is. If it just ran into him, the positioning wouldn't have been the way it was. There's got to be someone backstage that thinks these things through beforehand.

9:46pm: I guess this means Show is being written out of the storylines for a little while.

9:47pm: Evan Bourne VS Jack Swagger. No way this match goes five minutes. Might even be lucky to get half of that.

9:49pm: ..I get the grand prize. Swagger powerbombs the living fuck out of Bourne to get the win. As Swagger is doing his victory lap, Bourne kicks him and runs away. The fuck kind of face does things like that? Sneak attacks a heel, and then runs away like a little girl? Seriously?!?

9:56pm: A "You suck toes" chant for Michael Cole as he makes his way to ringside, looking as though someone has shot his dog. Cole is out to apologize to Lawler, and to everyone in the WWE Universe. I'm sure that will go over well with the fans.

9:59pm: Cheap ass plug for Altoids breath mints there, Lawler. How nice of you to hold the tin at such an angle so that the camera could zoom in on the Altoids logo.

10:01pm: Hey, it's The Miz, fresh off of having his credibility destroyed last night.

10:02pm: To nobody's surprise, Miz is blaming Alex Riley for last night's loss, and also blaming him for pretty much every loss Miz has had since losing the WWE Title.

10:05pm: The anonymous Raw General Manager says Miz is done with title shots and will not be granted another one. Gee, I'm shocked.

10:07pm: Miz fires Riley, and just to further my point along, now Alex Riley, the guy who has been booked to look like the most worthless name on the entire WWE roster, is now beating his ass all around ringside. No.. seriously.. Alex Riley just beat Miz down for a good couple minutes, looking like a legit breakout star. I think what this was is a reward for Riley. We've seen it before (especially with Triple H after the Kliq's "Curtain Call" incident years ago).. if you sit back and handle your punishment like a man, you'll earn Vince McMahon's respect. When Riley had his DUI arrest, his booking took a sharp turn downwards, and he was booked to look like a buffoon week in and week out. We never heard a single report or rumor that Riley was unhappy or that he was complaining about anything. Now, this, where he might be on the verge of being handed a nice face push. Of course, at the same time, he now has to depend on the WWE Creative Team to give him a great follow-up next week. Riley gained a lot of momentum tonight, but if he's jobbing to Drew McIntyre, it's all for nothing, regardless of my personal opinion that McIntyre should be pushed more. Let's see what the writers do for Riley now.

10:14pm: The Bellas are teaming with Maryse and Melina to take on the team of Kelly Kelly, Eve, Gail Kim and Beth Phoenix. Will we finally see Kharma here? Will she be able to take out every Diva in the match?

10:16pm: Kharma!

10:18pm: ..what.. the.. fuck.. is going on?

10:19pm: Kharma gets into the ring, and is surrounded by all eight Divas. She then breaks down crying and falls to her knees. The crowd turned on that very quickly, booing and yelling for Kharma to do something. Come on, writers.. the ratings go up when Kharma appears. The fans cheer when she beats Divas down. They want to see her mow through people, and you're going to turn her into a vulnerable high school bully who breaks down when she's confronted about her issues? Damn shame.

10:25pm: Fuck you, WWE, for changing Drew McIntyre's entrance. Adding the pyro was stupid, but shortening his song on top of that? What the fuck is going on tonight?

10:26pm: Kofi Kingston VS Drew McIntyre in a non-title match? Will Drew win this, and then go on to feud for the Tag Team Titles like CM Punk did last week?

10:28pm: Kofi tweaks his knee, but based on the fact that McIntyre immediately went to work on the knee, it's not a legit injury.

10:30pm: Kofi having to sell the knee injury is really taking a lot out of this match.

10:31pm: Kofi wins. Even on one leg, he can beat Drew McIntyre.

10:31pm: Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero are watching the match backstage, and Dolph is back to being a bleach blonde, which is a step back in the right decision for him. They obviously realize they fucked up in changing his look so much.

10:39pm: ADR is blaming Ricardo Rodriguez for running Big Show over earlier. Is Ricardo going to snap next week and beat ADR's ass?

10:40pm: WWE went from talking about a fake automobile accident to a video package for someone who died in a real automobile accident? Fuck you, WWE. Fuck. You.

10:43pm: Not afraid to admit.. this video package has brought tears to my eyes. We miss you, Mach.

10:49pm: Main event time.

10:51pm: CM Punk with the Randy Savage-esque pink tights with yellow and white boots. Thank you, Punk. Very classy.

10:53pm: lol @ that nerd that tried to squeeze in on Rey Mysterio's pre-match ritual where he touches masks with the kids in the crowd. The idiot leans in after one of the kids leans back, and Mysterio just walks away. That dumbass clearly has no friends in school.

10:59pm: lol @ Truth actually getting quite the loud "CM Punk" chant started. That's more of a reaction, outside of the "What?" chants, than Truth is able to get for himself. Maybe his new catchphrase should just be saying the names of people that are more over than he is, simply to get a reaction from people.

11:04pm: Bret Hart just locked the Sharpshooter on CM Punk for no fucking reason, and Mysterio dropped the dime on Punk, leading to the win. I get that Punk put his hands on Bret earlier in the match, but what kind of "pick and choose" bullshit is that?

11:05pm: While I don't have a .gif of it, after John Cena's Chun Li-like celebration tonight, I'm pretty sure he and Randy Orton had some sort of competition between them to see whose celebratory dance could be cornier. Wow.

#ThankYouRandySavage: Truth's unintentionally hilarious promos.. The possible birth of a new star in Alex Riley.. CM Punk's tribute to Randy Savage

#FuckYouMattHardy: David Otunga owning any title gold.. The incredibly stupid segment with Big Show being "run over", from the improbability of the entire thing to the bad acting.. Evan Bourne's weird face antics of a sneak attack and then running away.. The continued burial of The Miz.. The confusing reaction of Kharma when all of the Divas surrounded her.. Drew McIntyre's continued march towards unemployment.. Absolutely awful placement of Randy Savage's video package coming after a fake "auto accident" with Big Show.. Stupid interference from Bret Hart in the main event.. No good in-ring action

Grade: D-

The HiPE Playlist: Raw.

Bishop, you're crazy!

You know what? Last time you said that, I was kinda trippin, right? But, now, you're right. I am crazy. You know what else? I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck about you. I don't give a fuck about Steel. I don't give a fuck about Raheem, either. I don't give a fuck about myself. Look.. I ain't shit, and you less of a man than me, so as soon as I figure you ain't gon' be shit.. *pow*.. so be it. You remember that, motherfucker, cause I'm the one you need to be looking out for.. partner.

-------------------------Day 509

I have a confession to make.

However, before I get to that, let's talk about Raw. More specifically, let's talk about what happened with Kharma. What we saw was one of the most out-of-nowhere things in recent memory. Kharma has looked like an absolute unstoppable monster with every appearance she's made, and just when she was about to do battle with eight Divas at once, she falls to her knees, breaks down crying and apologizes to random Divas around her.

Today, we received word that Kharma will be out of action for "over 9 months", with no explanation as to why. As we've seen time and time and time and time and time and time again, when a wrestler is injured, we find out about it. If they tear something, rip something, break something, sprain something, need something replaced, etc.. we always know what it is. Even when we don't hear about it when the injury is explained in a storyline, we know about it the next day when so-and-so is announced as requiring surgery and will be out for a certain amount of time. All we got with Kharma is an amount of time (albeit an undetermined amount) that she'll be out, but with no explanation as to why. It's similar to TNA's Desmond Wolfe, really. We never got an explanation as to what has been keeping him away from in-ring time, but we've also never heard any time frame for a return. Not "a few weeks". Not "over 9 months". Not "never again". Just a bunch of questions with no answers.

The number just stands out, though. A woman will now be out for "over 9 months". She's pregnant, folks. All the signs point to it. It would even explain why no explanation was given for her absence. Her being pregnant is a far more personal issue that she should reveal to the world when the time is right, if she ever reveals it at all. It shouldn't be something a WWE press release reveals, and it shouldn't be something that a wrestling website reveals, either. If she really is pregnant, I have some things to say..

- First of all, I think the segment we saw on Raw was something of a "shoot". I don't think her pregnancy was anything she planned to happen, and because of that, she went out there, legitimately emotional about having to leave for such a long amount of time, and that led her to cry like she did. Her apologizing to the Divas was real, as well, with her being sorry for "letting them down". If you look at the television ratings and pay attention to the crowd reactions, Kharma was the only Diva that anyone seemed to care about. Without her around, the division is in trouble, and they all know it. They were counting on her to bring added attention to the rest of the Divas and to help them get over, and now, that's on hold for a long time. The first thing I noticed when watching the segment live is that her emotion seemed 100% genuine, and not just "I have to act crazy, so I'm going to look really scary, and then start to cry". That would explain the real emotion, in my opinion.

- Don't be surprised if this is the end of her push. I don't mean that her push is on hold while she's out on maternity leave. I mean the end of her push, in general. The company can't be very happy about this at all. They spent money to bring her in, and put in time to make her pre-debut vignettes and get people interested in her. All that, and now she's out before she could even have a match. I don't know the rules, laws and fine prints that go into the Diva contracts, but if I had to guess, I'd say they can't just release her, or a lawsuit will follow. However, when her time table is done, and she's medically able to return to the ring at some point around WrestleMania, it wouldn't surprise me at all if the Creative Team had "nothing for her" and she sat on the shelf for another month or two before finally being released. Sure, some people are going to say that it would be a good idea to put her in a big match at WrestleMania 28 if she returns in time, but I'm not one of those people. For one, I don't think she'll be back in time. The "over 9 months" thing is important there. She'll have given birth before Mania rolls around, but it's not rocket science to figure out that a woman can't give birth to a baby and go right into taking wrestling bumps a day or two later. She could miss another couple months after the baby is born. She might only miss a few weeks. Either way, a return for WrestleMania is tough, but even if she is able to come back, let's go back to the fact that the company might be pretty upset with her. Putting her in a match at WrestleMania would be like rewarding her, with the extra big pay day that comes to those on the card. They'd probably feel that those bonuses would be better suited to a mix of either Divas that have represented the company all year long, celebrities that will bring mainstream attention to the event (like Snooki), or both. On top of that, they'd have to rush a storyline together to get her on the card, and the highly anticipated matches between her and Beth Phoenix or her and Natalya deserve so much better than that. Honestly, the company has been put in a really tough spot here. I hope I'm wrong. I hope she's able to come back and go right back to destroying people again, only leading to a match of some sort and not another pregnancy. Only time will tell, though.

Remember when I said I had a confession to make? Well, I do.

I'm still waiting to hear from my doctor after the test I put in, but I might very well be the father of the child Kharma is carrying. There's a reason I've had so much positive things to say about her, folks. The only problem is that there's another potential father, and that guy has proven to have some ridiculously potent sperm (pause). Here's a picture of him and his previous lady love..

If he can impregnate a woman who was 77-years-old at the time, imagine what he could do with a 33-year-old. Better yet, don't imagine that. I'm sorry for even giving that idea to you. I'll keep you all posted when the test results come in.

The HiPE Playlist: "Inkredible (Remix)" by Trae Tha Truth, Rick Ross & Jadakiss.. "So Far To Go" by Trae Tha Truth, Meek Mill & Pusha T.. "Slammin Doors" by Trae Tha Truth & Young Buck.. "Comin Through" by Trae Tha Truth.. "Earthquake" by Trae Tha Truth.. "Shit I Seen" by Trae Tha Truth & Yelawolf.. "No Country For Young Men" by Ice Cube.. "Georgia On My Mind" by Michael Buble.. "Crazy Love" by Michael Buble.. "At This Moment" by Michael Buble

Theo, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. No wonder you get D's in everything. Now you're afraid to try, because you're afraid that your brain is going to explode and it's going to ooze out of your ear. Now I'm telling you that you're going to try as hard as you can, and you're going to do it because I said so. I am your father! I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out!

-------------------------Day 510
I'll put this video up 900 times if I have to, because it never gets old. Damn, Chris Bosh isn't fooling anyone.

Some people are going to view this as a bit of a "cheap" column, but how many of them have written 600+ overall columns? None, I'm guessing. Anyway, I usually try to stay away from "Best Ever" conversations because nobody can ever agree on anything. That's why you'll notice I usually do "Favorite"-based columns, just because it's all my opinions, and no matter how hard some of you try to argue against them, opinions are just that.. opinions.

However, with the passing of "Macho Man" Randy Savage, the floodgates have been opened with people trying to figure out his place in history. Since his passing, I've probably been asked nearly three dozen times just where I'd rank him on the list of Best Wrestlers Of All-Time. My answer is generally the same as I usually give in my columns, in that I can't speak on the workers that were way before my time. Was Lou Thesz better than Shawn Michaels? Perhaps. I'm not going to compare them when I've seen just about all of Michaels' televised career, from beginning to end, and have only been able to see a handful of Thesz matches, none of them live. Therefore, I say that I'll only discuss "Best Ever" if it's "Best Of The Past 30 Years". Then, once again, I have to dismiss the stars of Lucha Libre and Puroresu, unless they've spent a large chunk of their careers here. That means guys like Rey Mysterio are up for discussion, but Mitsuharu Misawa is not. The reason for this is because I look at these guys as an overall talent package, including their ability to speak. If you're cutting a promo, and I literally don't understand a word of it, how am I supposed to judge whether it was good or not? There's no denying the in-ring talent of someone like Misawa, but I don't speak Japanese, nor do I understand it. That's just the way the cookie crumbles.

As I said, I'm looking for the total package (pause, no Lex Luger). Someone like Dean Malenko would score really high in the technical aspect of things, but when you factor in high-flying ability, power game and mic skills, he falls off a lot. Same goes for the aforementioned Rey Mysterio, who can fly around with the best of them, but isn't exactly going to overpower many people, and will also fall short in the mic skills department. It's easier to rank things that way because there isn't just one type of wrestling that entertains me. If all I enjoyed was high-flying action, it would be one thing. I'm opening it up, and evening out the playing field a bit.

It's one thing to have a Hustle Madness tournament and leave it in the hands of you out there in ReaderLand. I respect and appreciate the opinions that people give me, but at the same time, this is my column, and there's a reason that you clicked the link to see what I have to say. What's going to make this fun for me is that I don't even know what the outcome is going to be. I haven't started my research or my rankings yet, so I can't sit here and say that so-and-so is a favorite, or that so-and-so is my early pick to "win". I might even surprise myself with who I end up choosing as the "Best" after all of my scientific research. If I end up picking Matt Hardy, though, I'll need one of you to come down here and shoot me in the face. With a shotgun. Twice.

For now, I'd like to hear who all of you think is the "Best" of the last 30 years, using the overall criteria I'll be using. I don't need to hear your reasoning or having you try to sway my opinion on anything. I just want to know who you folks would choose if you were looking at the best overall package of technical wrestling ability, high-flying ability, power game, mic skills and charisma. I'm not going to be looking at titles won or anything like that, so I don't want you to let that creep into your own decision making, either. If, for example, you think William Regal is the "Best" overall, then don't worry that he has never been the World Champion. He's your pick. Also, and most importantly, don't forget that this is for "Best", not "Favorite". I catch enough shit from people when I tell them John Cena is my favorite wrestler. Imagine the type of feedback I'd get if I told them I think John Cena is the best wrestler. People would shit themselves, and I don't need the bills sent to my place for dry cleaning and new pairs of cotton Dockers, you know?

I want to get things started tomorrow and let this fill up several of my "free" days (do a ranking of the "Best" technical wrestlers one day, the "Best" high fliers the next day, etc, ending in my "Best" overall rankings), but I also don't want to get it started in one week's worth of columns and have to continue it in another week's worth of columns. If I play my cards right, I have five "free" days next week (plus the two Running Diaries, of course), which means I can do technical wrestling one day, high flying one day, power game one day, combine mic skills and charisma for one day, and finish off with the overall rankings. Awesome. Now, I just need to think of a topic for tomorrow.

Gotta love it when I can turn an entire introduction for future columns into a column of its own. Anyway, get those choices in, folks. It's always interesting to see what you folks think, since there's such a broad demographic reading my columns as far as age and ethnic backgrounds go. I'll be back tomorrow.. same Hustle channel, basically the same Hustle time.. with.. well, with something.

The HiPE Playlist: Nothing tonight.

I hate people.

Yeah, they're the worst.

Source: lordsofpain.net