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1. Day 534 - Capitol Punishment Predictions (What I'd Do & What I Think Will Happen)

2. Day 535 - Capitol Punishment Review

Day 534

It's prediction time! Last week, I decided to go in a bit of a different direction with my picks for TNA's Slammiversary, and it was well-received, with people asking me to do it for Capitol Punishment, as well, just to see what my booking mind would do. They say that they read about me speaking positively and negatively about the way people are booked, or about what's going on, so they want to read about what I'd do. That's what I'll do here. Once again, you'll get my match-by-match picks of who I think will win, but you'll also get my match-by-match picks of what would happen if I were in charge. No more wasting time. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!!

Big Show VS Alberto Del Rrrrrio
What I'd Do: To be honest, I'm not really a fan of this feud at all, and based on crowd reactions, I'm not alone in that line of thinking. In this match, you have Big Show, who has pretty much done it all in this business and is coming to the end of his career, and you have ADR, who the company is supposedly looking to lean on heavily for the future. If that's the case, this one is a no-brainer. Show isn't going to be pinned cleanly, especially with the new rampage that he's been on recently, but ADR needs the victory a lot more. That's why I'd have ADR pick up the victory after some interference, probably after a miraculous return by a near-death Ricardo Rodriguez. Yes, that would probably lead to another match between the two in the future, but unless you want to go with the unrealistic route of ADR beating Show into retirement or beating him so badly that Show shakes his hand and gains respect for him, it has to happen this way.

What Will Probably Happen: I think the company is stuck on what to do with ADR. They want to push him to the main event scene, but they realize the crowd isn't anywhere near ready for that, but by placing him in feuds like this, it actually hurts his stock even more. Because he isn't a veteran with plenty of respect in the locker room, I think he'll end up getting the majority of the blame for the crowd response, whether he deserves it or not. I do think ADR gets the win here, but not in any way that helps him at all. I'll go with ADR getting a disqualification victory after Show refuses to stop beating on him, or something along those lines.

Rey Mysterio VS CM Punk
What I'd Do: This is another match that comes down to who needs the win more, and that person, without a doubt, is CM Punk. As funny as it sounds for someone of Rey's size, he's pretty much teflon at this point. Win or lose, he's going to remain in the same general position on the roster, and will have the same general reaction from crowds. Punk isn't so lucky. I hate to say this, because it's not the "proper" way to do business, but with all of the rumors and reports that Punk is unhappy and thinking of leaving the company, perhaps the company should be trying to make him happy, in hopes of getting him to re-sign? I'm not saying they should pull what WCW pulled with Chris Benoit back in the day and give him the World Title the day before his contract expires, only to have him leave, anyway, forcing the company to vacate the title. That's just dumb. If Punk is unhappy with his standing in the company, then see if you can improve his standing. It's not that difficult. Therefore, I'd go with Punk getting the victory here and moving on to something else soon.

What Will Probably Happen: The opposite of everything I just said, basically. Look for Mysterio to win, probably due to backfired interference on the part of Mason Ryan. Then we can get that Mason Ryan VS CM Punk feud everyone's been dying to see.

Kofi Kingston VS Dolph Ziggler - Singles Match for the United States Title
What I'd Do: This is a tough one for me, as I'm a big fan of both workers, and really, the United States Title is somewhat dead at this point. This week alone, I've had several people ask me who the champion was, because they didn't even remember. That's not a good sign for Kofi Kingston, which is exactly why I'd let Ziggler win the title here, to see if he can do something special with the title instead. Maybe the heat magnet that is Vickie Guerrero can help him with that somehow. Not that Ziggler doesn't get reactions on his own, but Vickie just adds that extra element to things.

What Will Probably Happen: I'm starting to notice an unfortunate trend here, with my predictions of what will probably happen being the opposite of what I'd do if I were in charge. This one is no different. I'm going with Kingston retaining the title, and the company continues not to know what to do with Ziggler. On the bright side for Ziggler fans, if he isn't in the US Title picture, that frees him up to go after the WWE Title, right? Right?!?

Wade Bar-ruh VS Ezekiel Jackson - Singles Match for the Intercontinental Title
What I'd Do: I like Zeke Jackson. I really do. However, I don't think he's ready to be a singles star just yet, and I definitely don't think he's ready to be holding championship gold just yet. I think it was a mistake to split him from The Corre so soon. As for what I'd do, I'd go with the same prediction that I went with last month for Bar-ruh. I'd have Bar-ruh get the win after interference by a returning Skip Sheffield, and then after the match, we can see a SWERVE~! with Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater revealing the Corre breakup was all a plot. Before anyone says anything.. I realize we just got word that Sheffield had to have another operation on his foot, but I'm just hoping that it's a SWERVE~! to make people think he isn't returning soon. I'm hoping. I can hope, can't I?

What Will Probably Happen: The streak continues.. I think it's clear that someone with some sort of power in the company is a fan of Ezekiel Jackson, as he continues to get pushed, whether he appears ready and deserving or not. With Bar-ruh's ridiculously inconsistent booking thrown into that mix, I think Zeke Jackson becomes the new IC Champion here.

Alex Riley VS The Miz
What I'd Do: This match just screams "first match of many". There's all the potential in the world for this series, and could very well take us all the way to SummerSlam. For that to happen, and for that to be kicked off correctly, The Miz needs to have some sort of positive gain here. Therefore, I'd have The Miz get the win, after some sort of underhanded shenaniganery. Maybe due to a foreign object behind the referee's back. Maybe due to pulling the tights. Maybe even have him pull off some slick countout victory. However it happens, Miz needs some sort of momentum after basically being neutered in the last couple months.

What Will Probably Happen: Hallelujah! Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition! I think we have our first "match" of the event! WWE can't be dumb enough to fuck this up, can they? Even they have to see that this feud could be money for them if they let it stretch out and give Miz some of his momentum back, right? Let's hope so. The Miz wins after some blatant douchebaggery.

Randy Orton VS Christian - Singles Match for the World Title
What I'd Do: If you've paid any attention to my columns recently, you'd know my answer for this one. Christian deserves a shot to be a World Champion for more than "five" days. He needs a chance to prove that he can help the rapidly-sinking Smackdown brand. If it works, great, you've solved a big problem. If it doesn't work, at least you'd know for sure. To give him a chance, though, he needs to win the title here, so that's exactly what I'd do. Christian picks up the victory to become the new World Champion, and we'll see what that does for ratings, and if it brings back the viewers that tuned out of Smackdown once he dropped the title in the first place.

What Will Probably Happen: Damn, we couldn't get two in a row. I just don't think the company has enough faith in Christian at all, and will continue booking themselves into a corner by continuing to make Randy Orton dominant on a brand where there are no legit contenders for his title at this point. It's a shame, really, but look for Orton to retain the title, further sending Christian off the deep end.

John Cena VS R-Truth - Singles Match for the WWE Title
What I'd Do: Take Truth to a KKK rally and "accidentally" leave him there. Other than that, there's not much else I'd do. Even the people that are really liking Truth's new heel character don't necessarily want to see him as the WWE Champion, and most of those people hate John Cena, so that's really saying something. Truth is the guy that can get a laugh out of you from time to time, but he's still annoying enough to where you don't really want him around too often. John Cena continues rolling and gets the win here. Sorry, folks.

What Will Probably Happen: Another "match" for me. Awesome. I've said it before, in various places, but the company has kind of put themselves in a tough spot with booking Cena VS The Rock a year in advance. It's going to be a huge match regardless of what happens, but to maintain the overall "shine" of the match, Cena has to be on a major roll heading into WrestleMania 28. He's already facing off with a legend, and will be the underdog in many people's eyes to begin with, but if Cena has spent the year losing to glorified midcard talent, that doesn't help the situation at all. Putting the WWE Title on Cena means one thing.. a year-long title reign is becoming very likely. Whether it does end up happening or not, Cena should win here, adding another few weeks, at least, to his reign.

Writer's Note: I've plugged the LoP Turntable.fm room before, but I'll plug it here again because it will be the one-stop entertainment shop during pay-per-views, starting with Capitol Punishment. We'll have people in there, playing music for the times when the show is boring, and when you want to pay attention to the show, you can just mute the speakers. We'll also have the chat going strong, with people discussing the event and whatever else comes up. Come check us out at..

LoP Turntable.fm Room

Writer's Note Part Deux: In case you missed it in yesterday's column, a Hustle Fan Page has been created on Facebook. It now sits at 310 "Likes" and climbing. Here's the "Like Box" for you to check the page out and/or to add to the "Likes"..

I've already announced it on the Fan Page, but I'll announce it here, as well.. July is my birthday month, but to show how much I love my readers, some of you will be the ones receiving presents. You see, July is Reader Appreciation Month here on The HIPE Train. During the month, I'll be selecting random readers to receive prizes, bought and paid for by me and sent to them. The exact prizes are yet to be determined, but they'll probably be along the lines of a DVD of their choice (WWE, UFC, RoH, TNA, or whatever company you want), some sort of wrestling merchandise (a shirt of your choice from WWEShop, etc) and things along those lines. The "grand prize", tentatively, will be a copy of WWE '12 for the system of your choosing that I'll order and have sent to your home or local GameStop on release date.

I'm also going to be taking more reader requests for columns in the month of July, as well as providing an opportunity for a random reader or two to appear in a column with me. Those details haven't really been worked out yet, however, but you have to "Like" the Fan Page to keep updated on what's going on.

Oh, and if July's Reader Appreciation Month works out well enough, and I get enough "Likes" between now and then, expect another Reader Appreciation Month for December, in time for the holidays, with even bigger prizes. I have some special things in mind for then. Again, you have to "Like" the page first, though.

The HiPE Playlist: Nothing tonight.

I am not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink. I already have one.

Hustle
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-Team Sleep--------------------------Day 535
Hayabusa was one of the best high-fliers of the 90s, but a botch ended his career in an instant. Not for the squeamish (especially the slo-mo).

I didn't want to do a mini-review of Capitol Punishment, but I've already had several people ask for it, so I'm going to listen to ReaderLand once again. That's just how I roll, ladies and germs.

Going into the pay-per-view, expectations were low. Damn near at an all-time low, actually. The entire card was full of singles match, without any sort of gimmicks or stipulations. Some of the matches are ones that we've seen time and time again. People were unhappy with the way the event had been booked. People were upset about how the booking was looking for the future. Some people were predicting a year-low buyrate for the event. Some were even predicting an all-time low buyrate for the event. You name it, there were complaints about it.

The show started with Dolph Ziggler becoming the new United States Champion in a nice opening match with Kofi Kingston. It was one of those matches that we've seen on numerous occasions, but it almost always ends up being a quality bout, and this one was no different. I'm hoping.. I'm praying.. that Dolph is given a chance to help build the title. The United States Title has been an absolute wreck for a while, and putting the belt on Ziggler is a chance to solve that. With Vickie Guerrero still at his side, any match he's in is sure to get extra attention. Now it's up for the company to find some faces on Raw to put in Dolph's way. I'm not trying to get anyone's hopes up or anything, but Dolph recently became involved with Zack Ryder on the internet. It's not exactly outside the realm of possibility for Ryder to celebrate both he and Ziggler being champions (which he's already done on Twitter), leading to Dolph "turning" on him, saying that he (Ziggler) is a real champion, while Ryder's "Internet Title" is make believe, leading to Ryder finally getting legit television time as he goes after the United States Title. I'm just saying.

While I still think The Miz should have defeated Alex Riley (he didn't, of course), I'm going to hold off on any real opinions of the match result just yet. The match itself was fine, although the company is coming dangerously close to having Riley follow the "John Cena Formula" with the match, as he was dominated for the majority of the match, only to come back and win at the end. It shows how lazy the writers really are, and that they have no idea how to build a face these days. What I'm excited about is something small (No Glacier). I'm excited by the fact that The Miz has brought back his briefcase. It's a not-so-subtle hint at the fact that Money In The Bank is the company's next pay-per-view event. Right now, you'd have to assume that Alex Riley is the odds-on favorite to win Raw's Money In The Bank match. It makes sense for his push, and it makes sense in the storyline, feuding with the man who won Raw's MITB last year. All that is for a different column, though.

If you folks were bored to tears at the mere thought of Big Show VS Alberto Del Rrrrrio, I shudder to think of what you're feeling now that we're being teased with a possible Big Show VS Mark Henry feud, after Henry interfered before the match began and attacked Show. Not only that, but the Show/ADR feud clearly isn't over yet, so we could be getting more of that, as well. What we got tonight wasn't even much of a match. It was more of a storyline-advancer, which is the type of thing that should be taking place on free television, and not at an event that people are spending $50 to watch.

As I said in yesterday's column, I was definitely expecting Ezekiel Jackson to win the Intercontinental Title tonight, even though it isn't the direction I would have gone in yet. The fans just aren't buying Zeke just yet, as evidenced by the night's first vocal "We want Ryder" chant taking place during the match. However, now that Zeke is, in fact, the champion, it opens the door for people like Cody Rhodes to step up, or, perhaps, for Ted DiBiase to step up with Cody's help, while Cody is elevated to the main event scene. Again, though, that looking ahead is for a different column.

CM Punk. CM Punk.. I don't even know what to say, really. He won the match, and now has pinfall victories over John Cena and Rey Mysterio (the top two faces on Raw) in under a week. It's what Punk said before the match that has everyone talking, though. In a promo, Punk said that he would go on to defeat Mysterio and would then do "the most honest thing the WWE Universe has ever seen". Part one has been accomplished, but what is that "honest" thing he's talking about? Most of the early speculation is that he's going to quit, which fits in with him supposedly needing time off, but putting Punk over both Cena and Mysterio on his way out the door? That wouldn't make a whole lot of sense, and would make the company look bad for pushing him up until the very last minute, in hopes of making him happy, only for him to leave, anyway. With his two victories this week, Punk has definitely lined himself up for a shot at the WWE Title should be be sticking around for a bit, which is awesome. He deserves it. Maybe his "honest" decision will have something to do with an often-rumored match with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, possibly at SummerSlam? As of the very second I type this, Punk and Austin are bickering back and forth on Twitter, so it could very well be what happens.

I figured Randy Orton would retain the World Title, and he did, but the ending of the match leaves the door open for Christian to get another shot. His foot was clearly underneath the bottom rope during the pin, so he has a legitimate gripe moving forward. The problem with that, of course, is that we've seen Randy Orton VS Christian what seems like 20 times now. Were the matches good? Of course they were, and tonight's edition was no different. However, now Christian will need to finagle his way into yet another shot at the title, against a champion who is already dead set on not giving him any more chances. Then, if Christian wins the title, guess what? The "rematch clause" comes into play, and we get to see them face each other again. That means nobody else is being built up on a brand that is in dire need of new main event names being built. We shall see what happens, I guess.

Poor Evan Bourne and Jack Swagger. They get thrown together in a match at the last-minute, and the crowd could not have cared less. Actually, I guess they could have cared less. If they all would have walked out en masse, never to return, that would have been a sign of caring less than what we saw tonight. What we saw tonight was an eerily quiet response. Before the match, we got a video package and a ridiculously lame product placement with Keystone Light's Keith Stone hanging out with the Bella Twins at ringside. Then this match. After the match, they actually thought it would be a magnificent idea to bring out a President Obama impersonator to give a speech about various things like how he isn't the anonymous Raw General Manager and some one-liners about R-Truth and Vice President Joe Biden. Then Booker T got in the ring, talked a bit, and decided to teach "President Obama" how to do a Spinarooni, ending the segment. Combine that with a video package for the main event that took place after all of this, and you have nearly 25 minutes of "filler" that had no business being on a pay-per-view. That's what makes it so frustrating when they look in other directions to try and solve what they think are the problems leading to people not purchasing pay-per-views anymore. It's because they're given bullshit like that near-30-minute stretch. That, along with the storyline advancement between Big Show, ADR and Mark Henry, just show how out of touch the company can be (and is becoming). Stop treating your paying customers like shit, and maybe.. just maybe.. they'll keep coming back. Just a hunch.

To nobody's surprise (although you wouldn't know it by some of the complaints I've seen on Twitter and Facebook), John Cena retained the WWE Title, putting us one step closer to that year-long title reign I talked about yesterday. With the fan plant (aka "Little Jimmy") getting somewhat involved in the end of the match, throwing his drink in Truth's face, leading to Cena hitting the Attitude Adjustment for the win, it adds more fuel to Truth's "conspiracy victim" fire. The problem with that is the company is basically doing the same thing on Smackdown with Christian. Christian already thinks the WWE Universe and Teddy Long are working against him, and now, he can say the referee is against him, as well, after the whole "leg under the bottom rope" incident. Unless Christian and R-Truth are about to form some sort of cross-branded team/faction of "conspiracy victims", it's just lazy writing. Yes, even more lazy writing. Amazing, I know.

Because people are always interested in this type of thing, here are my star ratings for the show..

- Kofi/Dolph: 2.75 stars
- Riley/Miz: 2.25 stars
- Show/ADR: 1 star
- Zeke/Wade: 1.25 stars
- Rey/Punk: 3.25 stars
- Orton/Christian: 3.75 stars
- Bourne/Swagger: 2 stars
- Cena/Truth: 2 stars

Two really good matches (Orton/Christian and Rey/Punk), one match that creeps towards that level (Kofi/Dolph), and a few solid performances. Overall, Capitol Punishment was better than most people (myself included) thought it would be, but that isn't going to change the fact that the buyrate number for the show probably will set some record lows. Hopefully, the attraction of two Money In The Bank matches at the next pay-per-view will help to raise the number next month, because the company is in trouble right now, even with a recommendation from me to check Capitol Punishment out if you haven't already done so.

Writer's Note: In case you missed it in yesterday's column, a Hustle Fan Page has been created on Facebook. It now sits at 321 "Likes" and climbing. Here's the "Like Box" for you to check the page out and/or to add to the "Likes"..

I've already announced it on the Fan Page, but I'll announce it here, as well.. July is my birthday month, but to show how much I love my readers, some of you will be the ones receiving presents. You see, July is Reader Appreciation Month here on The HIPE Train. During the month, I'll be selecting random readers to receive prizes, bought and paid for by me and sent to them. The exact prizes are yet to be determined, but they'll probably be along the lines of a DVD of their choice (WWE, UFC, RoH, TNA, or whatever company you want), some sort of wrestling merchandise (a shirt of your choice from WWEShop, etc) and things along those lines. The "grand prize", tentatively, will be a copy of WWE '12 for the system of your choosing that I'll order and have sent to your home or local GameStop on release date.

I'm also going to be taking more reader requests for columns in the month of July, as well as providing an opportunity for a random reader or two to appear in a column with me. Those details haven't really been worked out yet, however, but you have to "Like" the Fan Page to keep updated on what's going on.

Oh, and if July's Reader Appreciation Month works out well enough, and I get enough "Likes" between now and then, expect another Reader Appreciation Month for December, in time for the holidays, with even bigger prizes. I have some special things in mind for then. Again, you have to "Like" the page first, though.

The HiPE Playlist: "Dance With My Father" by Luther Vandross.. "So Many Things" by City High.. I miss you, Papa (holidays like today can be tough sometimes)

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

Source: lordsofpain.net