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1. Day 534 - Capitol Punishment Predictions (What I'd Do & What I Think Will Happen)

2. Day 535 - Capitol Punishment Review

2.5 Day 536 - Capitol Punishment.. just kidding.. Raw Running Diary

4. Day 537 - The Summer Of Punk 2?

Day 534

It's prediction time! Last week, I decided to go in a bit of a different direction with my picks for TNA's Slammiversary, and it was well-received, with people asking me to do it for Capitol Punishment, as well, just to see what my booking mind would do. They say that they read about me speaking positively and negatively about the way people are booked, or about what's going on, so they want to read about what I'd do. That's what I'll do here. Once again, you'll get my match-by-match picks of who I think will win, but you'll also get my match-by-match picks of what would happen if I were in charge. No more wasting time. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!!

Big Show VS Alberto Del Rrrrrio
What I'd Do: To be honest, I'm not really a fan of this feud at all, and based on crowd reactions, I'm not alone in that line of thinking. In this match, you have Big Show, who has pretty much done it all in this business and is coming to the end of his career, and you have ADR, who the company is supposedly looking to lean on heavily for the future. If that's the case, this one is a no-brainer. Show isn't going to be pinned cleanly, especially with the new rampage that he's been on recently, but ADR needs the victory a lot more. That's why I'd have ADR pick up the victory after some interference, probably after a miraculous return by a near-death Ricardo Rodriguez. Yes, that would probably lead to another match between the two in the future, but unless you want to go with the unrealistic route of ADR beating Show into retirement or beating him so badly that Show shakes his hand and gains respect for him, it has to happen this way.

What Will Probably Happen: I think the company is stuck on what to do with ADR. They want to push him to the main event scene, but they realize the crowd isn't anywhere near ready for that, but by placing him in feuds like this, it actually hurts his stock even more. Because he isn't a veteran with plenty of respect in the locker room, I think he'll end up getting the majority of the blame for the crowd response, whether he deserves it or not. I do think ADR gets the win here, but not in any way that helps him at all. I'll go with ADR getting a disqualification victory after Show refuses to stop beating on him, or something along those lines.

Rey Mysterio VS CM Punk
What I'd Do: This is another match that comes down to who needs the win more, and that person, without a doubt, is CM Punk. As funny as it sounds for someone of Rey's size, he's pretty much teflon at this point. Win or lose, he's going to remain in the same general position on the roster, and will have the same general reaction from crowds. Punk isn't so lucky. I hate to say this, because it's not the "proper" way to do business, but with all of the rumors and reports that Punk is unhappy and thinking of leaving the company, perhaps the company should be trying to make him happy, in hopes of getting him to re-sign? I'm not saying they should pull what WCW pulled with Chris Benoit back in the day and give him the World Title the day before his contract expires, only to have him leave, anyway, forcing the company to vacate the title. That's just dumb. If Punk is unhappy with his standing in the company, then see if you can improve his standing. It's not that difficult. Therefore, I'd go with Punk getting the victory here and moving on to something else soon.

What Will Probably Happen: The opposite of everything I just said, basically. Look for Mysterio to win, probably due to backfired interference on the part of Mason Ryan. Then we can get that Mason Ryan VS CM Punk feud everyone's been dying to see.

Kofi Kingston VS Dolph Ziggler - Singles Match for the United States Title
What I'd Do: This is a tough one for me, as I'm a big fan of both workers, and really, the United States Title is somewhat dead at this point. This week alone, I've had several people ask me who the champion was, because they didn't even remember. That's not a good sign for Kofi Kingston, which is exactly why I'd let Ziggler win the title here, to see if he can do something special with the title instead. Maybe the heat magnet that is Vickie Guerrero can help him with that somehow. Not that Ziggler doesn't get reactions on his own, but Vickie just adds that extra element to things.

What Will Probably Happen: I'm starting to notice an unfortunate trend here, with my predictions of what will probably happen being the opposite of what I'd do if I were in charge. This one is no different. I'm going with Kingston retaining the title, and the company continues not to know what to do with Ziggler. On the bright side for Ziggler fans, if he isn't in the US Title picture, that frees him up to go after the WWE Title, right? Right?!?

Wade Bar-ruh VS Ezekiel Jackson - Singles Match for the Intercontinental Title
What I'd Do: I like Zeke Jackson. I really do. However, I don't think he's ready to be a singles star just yet, and I definitely don't think he's ready to be holding championship gold just yet. I think it was a mistake to split him from The Corre so soon. As for what I'd do, I'd go with the same prediction that I went with last month for Bar-ruh. I'd have Bar-ruh get the win after interference by a returning Skip Sheffield, and then after the match, we can see a SWERVE~! with Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater revealing the Corre breakup was all a plot. Before anyone says anything.. I realize we just got word that Sheffield had to have another operation on his foot, but I'm just hoping that it's a SWERVE~! to make people think he isn't returning soon. I'm hoping. I can hope, can't I?

What Will Probably Happen: The streak continues.. I think it's clear that someone with some sort of power in the company is a fan of Ezekiel Jackson, as he continues to get pushed, whether he appears ready and deserving or not. With Bar-ruh's ridiculously inconsistent booking thrown into that mix, I think Zeke Jackson becomes the new IC Champion here.

Alex Riley VS The Miz
What I'd Do: This match just screams "first match of many". There's all the potential in the world for this series, and could very well take us all the way to SummerSlam. For that to happen, and for that to be kicked off correctly, The Miz needs to have some sort of positive gain here. Therefore, I'd have The Miz get the win, after some sort of underhanded shenaniganery. Maybe due to a foreign object behind the referee's back. Maybe due to pulling the tights. Maybe even have him pull off some slick countout victory. However it happens, Miz needs some sort of momentum after basically being neutered in the last couple months.

What Will Probably Happen: Hallelujah! Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition! I think we have our first "match" of the event! WWE can't be dumb enough to fuck this up, can they? Even they have to see that this feud could be money for them if they let it stretch out and give Miz some of his momentum back, right? Let's hope so. The Miz wins after some blatant douchebaggery.

Randy Orton VS Christian - Singles Match for the World Title
What I'd Do: If you've paid any attention to my columns recently, you'd know my answer for this one. Christian deserves a shot to be a World Champion for more than "five" days. He needs a chance to prove that he can help the rapidly-sinking Smackdown brand. If it works, great, you've solved a big problem. If it doesn't work, at least you'd know for sure. To give him a chance, though, he needs to win the title here, so that's exactly what I'd do. Christian picks up the victory to become the new World Champion, and we'll see what that does for ratings, and if it brings back the viewers that tuned out of Smackdown once he dropped the title in the first place.

What Will Probably Happen: Damn, we couldn't get two in a row. I just don't think the company has enough faith in Christian at all, and will continue booking themselves into a corner by continuing to make Randy Orton dominant on a brand where there are no legit contenders for his title at this point. It's a shame, really, but look for Orton to retain the title, further sending Christian off the deep end.

John Cena VS R-Truth - Singles Match for the WWE Title
What I'd Do: Take Truth to a KKK rally and "accidentally" leave him there. Other than that, there's not much else I'd do. Even the people that are really liking Truth's new heel character don't necessarily want to see him as the WWE Champion, and most of those people hate John Cena, so that's really saying something. Truth is the guy that can get a laugh out of you from time to time, but he's still annoying enough to where you don't really want him around too often. John Cena continues rolling and gets the win here. Sorry, folks.

What Will Probably Happen: Another "match" for me. Awesome. I've said it before, in various places, but the company has kind of put themselves in a tough spot with booking Cena VS The Rock a year in advance. It's going to be a huge match regardless of what happens, but to maintain the overall "shine" of the match, Cena has to be on a major roll heading into WrestleMania 28. He's already facing off with a legend, and will be the underdog in many people's eyes to begin with, but if Cena has spent the year losing to glorified midcard talent, that doesn't help the situation at all. Putting the WWE Title on Cena means one thing.. a year-long title reign is becoming very likely. Whether it does end up happening or not, Cena should win here, adding another few weeks, at least, to his reign.

Writer's Note: I've plugged the LoP Turntable.fm room before, but I'll plug it here again because it will be the one-stop entertainment shop during pay-per-views, starting with Capitol Punishment. We'll have people in there, playing music for the times when the show is boring, and when you want to pay attention to the show, you can just mute the speakers. We'll also have the chat going strong, with people discussing the event and whatever else comes up. Come check us out at..

LoP Turntable.fm Room

Writer's Note Part Deux: In case you missed it in yesterday's column, a Hustle Fan Page has been created on Facebook. It now sits at 310 "Likes" and climbing. Here's the "Like Box" for you to check the page out and/or to add to the "Likes"..

I've already announced it on the Fan Page, but I'll announce it here, as well.. July is my birthday month, but to show how much I love my readers, some of you will be the ones receiving presents. You see, July is Reader Appreciation Month here on The HIPE Train. During the month, I'll be selecting random readers to receive prizes, bought and paid for by me and sent to them. The exact prizes are yet to be determined, but they'll probably be along the lines of a DVD of their choice (WWE, UFC, RoH, TNA, or whatever company you want), some sort of wrestling merchandise (a shirt of your choice from WWEShop, etc) and things along those lines. The "grand prize", tentatively, will be a copy of WWE '12 for the system of your choosing that I'll order and have sent to your home or local GameStop on release date.

I'm also going to be taking more reader requests for columns in the month of July, as well as providing an opportunity for a random reader or two to appear in a column with me. Those details haven't really been worked out yet, however, but you have to "Like" the Fan Page to keep updated on what's going on.

Oh, and if July's Reader Appreciation Month works out well enough, and I get enough "Likes" between now and then, expect another Reader Appreciation Month for December, in time for the holidays, with even bigger prizes. I have some special things in mind for then. Again, you have to "Like" the page first, though.

The HiPE Playlist: Nothing tonight.

I am not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink. I already have one.

Hustle
E-mail: HIPRNFeedback@gmail.com
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-Team Sleep--------------------------Day 535
Hayabusa was one of the best high-fliers of the 90s, but a botch ended his career in an instant. Not for the squeamish (especially the slo-mo).

I didn't want to do a mini-review of Capitol Punishment, but I've already had several people ask for it, so I'm going to listen to ReaderLand once again. That's just how I roll, ladies and germs.

Going into the pay-per-view, expectations were low. Damn near at an all-time low, actually. The entire card was full of singles match, without any sort of gimmicks or stipulations. Some of the matches are ones that we've seen time and time again. People were unhappy with the way the event had been booked. People were upset about how the booking was looking for the future. Some people were predicting a year-low buyrate for the event. Some were even predicting an all-time low buyrate for the event. You name it, there were complaints about it.

The show started with Dolph Ziggler becoming the new United States Champion in a nice opening match with Kofi Kingston. It was one of those matches that we've seen on numerous occasions, but it almost always ends up being a quality bout, and this one was no different. I'm hoping.. I'm praying.. that Dolph is given a chance to help build the title. The United States Title has been an absolute wreck for a while, and putting the belt on Ziggler is a chance to solve that. With Vickie Guerrero still at his side, any match he's in is sure to get extra attention. Now it's up for the company to find some faces on Raw to put in Dolph's way. I'm not trying to get anyone's hopes up or anything, but Dolph recently became involved with Zack Ryder on the internet. It's not exactly outside the realm of possibility for Ryder to celebrate both he and Ziggler being champions (which he's already done on Twitter), leading to Dolph "turning" on him, saying that he (Ziggler) is a real champion, while Ryder's "Internet Title" is make believe, leading to Ryder finally getting legit television time as he goes after the United States Title. I'm just saying.

While I still think The Miz should have defeated Alex Riley (he didn't, of course), I'm going to hold off on any real opinions of the match result just yet. The match itself was fine, although the company is coming dangerously close to having Riley follow the "John Cena Formula" with the match, as he was dominated for the majority of the match, only to come back and win at the end. It shows how lazy the writers really are, and that they have no idea how to build a face these days. What I'm excited about is something small (No Glacier). I'm excited by the fact that The Miz has brought back his briefcase. It's a not-so-subtle hint at the fact that Money In The Bank is the company's next pay-per-view event. Right now, you'd have to assume that Alex Riley is the odds-on favorite to win Raw's Money In The Bank match. It makes sense for his push, and it makes sense in the storyline, feuding with the man who won Raw's MITB last year. All that is for a different column, though.

If you folks were bored to tears at the mere thought of Big Show VS Alberto Del Rrrrrio, I shudder to think of what you're feeling now that we're being teased with a possible Big Show VS Mark Henry feud, after Henry interfered before the match began and attacked Show. Not only that, but the Show/ADR feud clearly isn't over yet, so we could be getting more of that, as well. What we got tonight wasn't even much of a match. It was more of a storyline-advancer, which is the type of thing that should be taking place on free television, and not at an event that people are spending $50 to watch.

As I said in yesterday's column, I was definitely expecting Ezekiel Jackson to win the Intercontinental Title tonight, even though it isn't the direction I would have gone in yet. The fans just aren't buying Zeke just yet, as evidenced by the night's first vocal "We want Ryder" chant taking place during the match. However, now that Zeke is, in fact, the champion, it opens the door for people like Cody Rhodes to step up, or, perhaps, for Ted DiBiase to step up with Cody's help, while Cody is elevated to the main event scene. Again, though, that looking ahead is for a different column.

CM Punk. CM Punk.. I don't even know what to say, really. He won the match, and now has pinfall victories over John Cena and Rey Mysterio (the top two faces on Raw) in under a week. It's what Punk said before the match that has everyone talking, though. In a promo, Punk said that he would go on to defeat Mysterio and would then do "the most honest thing the WWE Universe has ever seen". Part one has been accomplished, but what is that "honest" thing he's talking about? Most of the early speculation is that he's going to quit, which fits in with him supposedly needing time off, but putting Punk over both Cena and Mysterio on his way out the door? That wouldn't make a whole lot of sense, and would make the company look bad for pushing him up until the very last minute, in hopes of making him happy, only for him to leave, anyway. With his two victories this week, Punk has definitely lined himself up for a shot at the WWE Title should be be sticking around for a bit, which is awesome. He deserves it. Maybe his "honest" decision will have something to do with an often-rumored match with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, possibly at SummerSlam? As of the very second I type this, Punk and Austin are bickering back and forth on Twitter, so it could very well be what happens.

I figured Randy Orton would retain the World Title, and he did, but the ending of the match leaves the door open for Christian to get another shot. His foot was clearly underneath the bottom rope during the pin, so he has a legitimate gripe moving forward. The problem with that, of course, is that we've seen Randy Orton VS Christian what seems like 20 times now. Were the matches good? Of course they were, and tonight's edition was no different. However, now Christian will need to finagle his way into yet another shot at the title, against a champion who is already dead set on not giving him any more chances. Then, if Christian wins the title, guess what? The "rematch clause" comes into play, and we get to see them face each other again. That means nobody else is being built up on a brand that is in dire need of new main event names being built. We shall see what happens, I guess.

Poor Evan Bourne and Jack Swagger. They get thrown together in a match at the last-minute, and the crowd could not have cared less. Actually, I guess they could have cared less. If they all would have walked out en masse, never to return, that would have been a sign of caring less than what we saw tonight. What we saw tonight was an eerily quiet response. Before the match, we got a video package and a ridiculously lame product placement with Keystone Light's Keith Stone hanging out with the Bella Twins at ringside. Then this match. After the match, they actually thought it would be a magnificent idea to bring out a President Obama impersonator to give a speech about various things like how he isn't the anonymous Raw General Manager and some one-liners about R-Truth and Vice President Joe Biden. Then Booker T got in the ring, talked a bit, and decided to teach "President Obama" how to do a Spinarooni, ending the segment. Combine that with a video package for the main event that took place after all of this, and you have nearly 25 minutes of "filler" that had no business being on a pay-per-view. That's what makes it so frustrating when they look in other directions to try and solve what they think are the problems leading to people not purchasing pay-per-views anymore. It's because they're given bullshit like that near-30-minute stretch. That, along with the storyline advancement between Big Show, ADR and Mark Henry, just show how out of touch the company can be (and is becoming). Stop treating your paying customers like shit, and maybe.. just maybe.. they'll keep coming back. Just a hunch.

To nobody's surprise (although you wouldn't know it by some of the complaints I've seen on Twitter and Facebook), John Cena retained the WWE Title, putting us one step closer to that year-long title reign I talked about yesterday. With the fan plant (aka "Little Jimmy") getting somewhat involved in the end of the match, throwing his drink in Truth's face, leading to Cena hitting the Attitude Adjustment for the win, it adds more fuel to Truth's "conspiracy victim" fire. The problem with that is the company is basically doing the same thing on Smackdown with Christian. Christian already thinks the WWE Universe and Teddy Long are working against him, and now, he can say the referee is against him, as well, after the whole "leg under the bottom rope" incident. Unless Christian and R-Truth are about to form some sort of cross-branded team/faction of "conspiracy victims", it's just lazy writing. Yes, even more lazy writing. Amazing, I know.

Because people are always interested in this type of thing, here are my star ratings for the show..

- Kofi/Dolph: 2.75 stars
- Riley/Miz: 2.25 stars
- Show/ADR: 1 star
- Zeke/Wade: 1.25 stars
- Rey/Punk: 3.25 stars
- Orton/Christian: 3.75 stars
- Bourne/Swagger: 2 stars
- Cena/Truth: 2 stars

Two really good matches (Orton/Christian and Rey/Punk), one match that creeps towards that level (Kofi/Dolph), and a few solid performances. Overall, Capitol Punishment was better than most people (myself included) thought it would be, but that isn't going to change the fact that the buyrate number for the show probably will set some record lows. Hopefully, the attraction of two Money In The Bank matches at the next pay-per-view will help to raise the number next month, because the company is in trouble right now, even with a recommendation from me to check Capitol Punishment out if you haven't already done so.

Writer's Note: In case you missed it in yesterday's column, a Hustle Fan Page has been created on Facebook. It now sits at 321 "Likes" and climbing. Here's the "Like Box" for you to check the page out and/or to add to the "Likes"..

I've already announced it on the Fan Page, but I'll announce it here, as well.. July is my birthday month, but to show how much I love my readers, some of you will be the ones receiving presents. You see, July is Reader Appreciation Month here on The HIPE Train. During the month, I'll be selecting random readers to receive prizes, bought and paid for by me and sent to them. The exact prizes are yet to be determined, but they'll probably be along the lines of a DVD of their choice (WWE, UFC, RoH, TNA, or whatever company you want), some sort of wrestling merchandise (a shirt of your choice from WWEShop, etc) and things along those lines. The "grand prize", tentatively, will be a copy of WWE '12 for the system of your choosing that I'll order and have sent to your home or local GameStop on release date.

I'm also going to be taking more reader requests for columns in the month of July, as well as providing an opportunity for a random reader or two to appear in a column with me. Those details haven't really been worked out yet, however, but you have to "Like" the Fan Page to keep updated on what's going on.

Oh, and if July's Reader Appreciation Month works out well enough, and I get enough "Likes" between now and then, expect another Reader Appreciation Month for December, in time for the holidays, with even bigger prizes. I have some special things in mind for then. Again, you have to "Like" the page first, though.

The HiPE Playlist: "Dance With My Father" by Luther Vandross.. "So Many Things" by City High.. I miss you, Papa (holidays like today can be tough sometimes)

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

-------------------------Day 536

Writer's Note: I'm going to be trying something a bit different this week. For those of you that have been around the IWC long enough, the name Scott Keith should ring a bell. His reviews are almost legendary, and something that he created was the "Hot Poker Up The Ass" system. Usually, when a match is good, you give it a star rating, and that's that. When a match or segment was particularly bad, though, just giving it a low star rating wasn't enough for Scott Keith, so he came up with the Hot Poker Up The Ass routine for just those occasions. He would come up with a list of how many pokers he'd shove up a booker or promoter's ass for coming up with such bad ideas. Thankfully, I'm not going to be spending three hours talking about the sodomy of other men. What I will be doing is introducing the "Nooooooooooooooo" system. It's simple, really. When something happens that is just head-scratchingly bad, I'll post the following link..

Nooooooooooooooo

..and have you press the button one time. Other than that, this will be a regular Raw Running Diary, but with the way things have been going recently, it should be interesting to see just how many times I have to press the button. Let's get things underway. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!!

8:00pm: Another three-hour episode of Raw this week, with a "Viewer's Choice" hook. Last year, we had the debut of the original Nexus (nXtWo FTW) during Raw's "Viewer's Choice" episode. What will we get this year?

8:02pm: CM Punk is out to start the show this week. Will we find out about what he was talking last night, with some sort of "honest" thing coming?

8:04pm: "What kind of awful decisions will you people make tonight? After all, you chose to live in Baltimore, Maryland. You can move, you know!" - LMAO. Punk is awesome.

8:05pm: Punk is demanding that the anonymous Raw General Manager grant him a WWE Title shot at Money In The Bank, which just so happens to be taking place in Punk's hometown of Chicago this year.

8:08pm: The GM has decided to make Punk face Alberto Del Rrrrrio and Rey Mysterio tonight in a Triple Threat Match, with the winner becoming the new #1 Contender for the WWE Title. For one, the GM is the quickest typer in the history of typing, able of typing out four or five sentences and e-mailing them to Michael Cole in less than five seconds. Two, it's another dumb decision by "WWE Management". Mysterio has no business being in a #1 Contender's match, coming off of a loss last night. For continued stupidity by WWE General Managers.. press the button..

Nooooooooooooooo

8:13pm: Brie Bella is defending the Divas Title against the people's choice between Kelly Kelly, Eve and Beth Phoenix. There isn't a chance in hell of Beth winning the fan vote, although she should win.

8:15pm: Kelly Kelly wins with 53% of the vote. Beth had 36%, while Eve had the remaining 11%. See that, WWE? The fans don't give a rat's ass about Eve. Remember that for future reference.

8:18pm: Nobody will ever take women's wrestling seriously when the women scream bloody murder when locked in a rest hold, vocally selling it as if they were just run over by a truck. I'm just saying. It's ridiculous.

8:19pm: Kelly Kelly is the new Divas Champion. The match was as bad as you would expect it to be, but you know what? I've said it in my columns before.. I'm a sucker for people showing genuine emotion after winning a title, and Kelly's tears show that. Props to her.

8:23pm: Evan Bourne will face the people's choice of either Jack Swagger, Mason Ryan or Sin Cara. Swagger and Ryan got zero reaction from the live crowd, while Sin Cara got a pop. They just showed a highlight video of Bourne's high-flying shenaniganery. Seems like a pretty obvious choice of who will win, doesn't it?

8:28pm: Mason Ryan wins? With 51% of the vote? Are you fucking people retarded?!? Press the button..

Nooooooooooooooo

8:30pm: Dear Mason Ryan.. Fix your fucking tights. Nobody wants to see the ridiculous fake tan lines that you have. Sincerely, The Rest Of Society.

8:30pm: lol @ the "Batista" chant breaking out.

8:32pm: Mason Ryan is absolutely, positively nowhere near ready for any sort of push right now. His muscle mass is cartoonish, and he moves around like the roided-up freaks that dominated the wrestling world in the 80s and early 90s. He can hardly move around.

8:33pm: Mason Ryan wins. Pretty much defeats the purpose of the video package for Evan Bourne and all that, doesn't it? Press the button..

Nooooooooooooooo

8:34pm: KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE VS Mark Henry in either a Body Slam Match, an Arm Wrestling Match or an Over-The-Top-Rope Match? Jesus Christ. The wheels are going to fall off the show soon at this rate. Is it possible to vote for None Of The Above?

8:38pm: Raw Roulette returns next week. Give us a TLC Match, and things may be forgiven, WWE.

8:42pm: Yeah, we really didn't need a promo from Mark Henry there. Not exactly the best way to get this entire segment moving along, if you ask me.

8:43pm: Another commercial break. Of course. Let's stretch this out even longer. Build up the suspense for KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE VS Mark Henry in a non-wrestling match until people are simply ready to murder their own mothers to watch it!!!

8:46pm: Arm Wrestling Match wins, with 52% of the vote. Alright, let's get this over with.

8:48pm: Stalling and delays. Wonderful. The crowd is chanting something unintelligible, but it sounds like the last word is "stupid". A "This Is Stupid" chant, perhaps?

8:50pm: Henry gets himself disqualified on purpose just so he could beat KAAAAANNNNNEEEEE up. He could have done this without all of the bullshit. Look at the time stamps. I mentioned, 16 minutes ago, that this "match" would be taking place. I have no problem with Mark Henry delivering a beatdown, but to have all that time spent before it takes place? What a waste of time. For that, it's definitely time to press the button..

Nooooooooooooooo

9:03pm: "Stop what'ing me!!!" - I gotta admit.. I laughed at that line. Props to you, Truth.

9:04pm: Christian's music just got a loud face pop. Probably not the reaction the company is looking for him to get. However, this could be the beginning of some sort of team between Christian and R-Truth that I brought up last night.

9:07pm: The Miz is now out to add to these festivities. It's a clusterfuck segment, but at least it's something different.. so far.. and could be leading to something big.

9:09pm: A loud "Awesome" chant from the crowd. Wow. That was unexpected.

9:09pm: What the hell is happening?!? A "Really?" battle between all three men, which turned into a "Riley?", "Randy?" and "Jimmy?" battle. This is actually entertaining.

9:10pm: Teddy Long is out and books tonight's main event. John Cena, Randy Orton & Alex Riley VS R-Truth, Christian & The Miz. Why is the Smackdown General Manager out here making a match on Raw, featuring four Raw workers? More ridiculous shit with the General Managers. You know what that means.. press the button..

Nooooooooooooooo

9:12pm: Dolph Ziggler will be defending his newly won United States Title against the former champ, Kofi Kingston, in either a Two-Out-Of-Three Falls Match, a Submission Match or a match with Vickie Guerrero banned from ringside. I'm hoping for the first choice, actually. It would be nice to let these two have some time to work with on television.

9:16pm: Vickie's looking nice in that all-black outfit.

9:18pm: That's the second time that Michael Cole has mentioned "#WWEP2P" as the official Twitter trending hashtag for tonight's show, and both times, "#RAWP2P" is shown on the screen. Fucking idiots. Cole. The Raw Producer. Both of them. You guys want to have some sort of communication?

9:19pm: Two-out-of-Three Falls. Nice.

9:21pm: Hey, I get to say this again.. I hate commercial breaks that take place during a match, and especially when it takes place right at the beginning, like a minute or so after the bell rings. Unless you're going to give us a 50-minute match like we got between John Cena and Shawn Michaels in 2007, cut that shit out.

9:25pm: They had a fall during a commercial break?!? PRESS THE BUTTON..

Nooooooooooooooo

9:25pm: I can't believe they cut to a commercial break that early in the match, and then had a fall, putting Dolph up 1-0, during the break. That's just insanity.

9:27pm: Out of nowhere, Kofi wins a fall, evening things up and taking us back to square one.

9:30pm: Some nice nearfalls here. The crowd's really getting into it.

9:31pm: Dolph gets himself purposely disqualified. He wins the match, two falls to one, but he doesn't win the title on a disqualification. That renders things pretty much pointless, doesn't it? Another good match between the two, but at this rate, they'll be feuding with each other for the rest of all eternity.

9:34pm: The Triple Threat #1 Contender's Match will either be a No Disqualification Match, a Falls Count Anywhere Match or a Submission Match. Nice choices.

9:38pm: Shawn Michaels is going to be on Raw next week? Not bad. Should be a nice pop for The Heartbreak Kid.

9:48pm: Booker T said he wanted to see Eve in the Divas Title match. He's certainly not helping his cause there.

9:49pm: ..and now Jerry Lawler said "hundreds of millions" of texts have come in for voting so far tonight. Really? Why stop the hyperbole there? Why not just say you guys have broken the Guinness World Record for text messages sent to one number in one night, and then say it reached into the billions?

9:50pm: Falls Count Anywhere wins for the Triple Threat, and now Lawler says he misread his information earlier, and they've received "hundreds of thousands" of votes. Good job, King.

9:53pm: Another commercial break at the beginning of a match. Press the button..

Nooooooooooooooo

9:56pm: At least the match didn't end during the commercial break. That's a step in the right decision, I guess.

9:57pm: Punk kicks ADR in the back of the head, and ADR falls backwards to sell it. Genius decision.

10:02pm: CM Punk wins. He let Mysterio do the hard work, letting him hit ADR with a 619 and a top rope splash, then threw Rey out of the ring, picking up the pin for himself. CM Punk is the new #1 Contender for the WWE Title. I love it.

10:04pm: Punk just announced his WWE contract expires on the day of Money In The Bank. That requires two button presses..

Nooooooooooooooo

Nooooooooooooooo

10:05pm: They're reliving the storyline Punk had when he was in RoH and first signed with WWE. He won the RoH World Title and said he was taking the belt with him, and now, Punk says he's going to win the WWE Title at Money In The Bank and leave the company with the title. Press the button another two times, just for the thought of Punk leaving..

Nooooooooooooooo

Nooooooooooooooo

10:07pm: Daniel Bryan VS Cody Rhodes in either a Paper Bag Match, a No Count Out Match or a Collegiate Rules Match. The fuck? They're just making shit up now.

10:11pm: Michael Cole just did the "#WWEP2P" shit again, and sure enough, "#RAWP2P" was on the screen. Fuck you, WWE. Wake the people up in the production truck so someone can tell Cole's dumb ass to say it correctly just once. For that, press the button..

Nooooooooooooooo

10:12pm: No Count Out Match it is. Paper Bag Match almost won, which means, once again, the WWE Universe is full of idiots.

10:15pm: ..once again, the WWE commentators would rather discuss whether or not Cody Rhodes is good looking instead of talking about the match taking place in front of their fucking faces. Press the button..

Nooooooooooooooo

10:16pm: Daniel Bryan gets the win in under three minutes, but Ted DiBiase is out to attack him. Booker T just called an Alabama Slam a "Sidewalk Slam" and then made it worse by calling it that AGAIN. Idiot. Cody puts a paper bag on Bryan's head again, but it came after yet another loss. It would be nice if this feud went somewhere. If all they're going to do is have Daniel Bryan win every match, only to be attacked afterwards and have a paper bag placed on his head, then there's no real point to any of it, and both men should head in different directions.

10:19pm: Oh, dear God, no.. Vickie Guerrero in a dance-off against either Jerry Lawler, Booker T or Michael Cole. Press it three times, once for each choice..

Nooooooooooooooo

Nooooooooooooooo

Nooooooooooooooo

10:20pm: For the life of me, I'll never understand this company's current obsession with dance competitions, and what makes them think anyone cares about them. They rarely ever draw any sort of reaction from crowds, and the television audience always tunes out. Yet, they keep putting them out there. If I wanted to watch people dance, I wouldn't be watching a fucking wrestling show. IT ISN'T THAT DIFFICULT TO FIGURE OUT. Press the button one more time, for continued idiocy by WWE writers..

Nooooooooooooooo

10:25pm: Vickie's doing the Stanky Legg. The fuck?!?

10:26pm: Michael Cole wins. The crowd goes mild.

10:28pm: Cole repeatedly belly flops in an attempt at doing The Worm, and then proceeds to deliver the worst Spinarooni of all-time.

10:29pm: Cole wins because his boos were louder than Vickie's boos, and then Vickie slaps the taste out of Cole's mouth. Press the button three more times..

Nooooooooooooooo

Nooooooooooooooo

Nooooooooooooooo

10:30pm: The main event is going to be either a One Fall To A Finish Match (umm, alright), a 20-Minute Time Limit Match (umm, alright) or an Elimination Match. Could you stack the deck for one choice any more than that? It's like having the Divas Title match with the choices being 100% Nude Match, Hot Lesbian Action or A Game Of Madden '11 On Playstation 3.

10:36pm: Alex Riley's entrance music is great. Especially the first few seconds. The notes just sound nice. It's still not quite on the level of Drew McIntyre's music, but at least we get to hear Riley's music on a regular basis. McIntyre is on television once a month if he's lucky.

10:40pm: Elimination Match wins. I'm stunned.

10:41pm: Commercial break before the match begins? I like it. Of course, if the match has already gotten underway when we return from break, that goes out the window.

10:45pm: Wow. They actually waited for the break to end before they started the match. Bravo.

10:52pm: Miz hits Riley with a Skull Crushing Finale, and Christian pins Riley to eliminate him. Well, they didn't have Miz get the pin over Riley, but at least he got some sort heat back after being beaten up and defeated by Riley for weeks now.

10:55pm: Good match so far, but the crowd has been relatively quiet (except when Cena is in the ring), which is unfortunate.

11:00pm: Yeah, the crowd is disturbingly quiet, considering just who is in this match and the star power that is being featured.

11:01pm: Cena pins Miz to eliminate him. We're down to a tag match.. Cena & Orton VS Truth & Christian. No real surprises there.

11:04pm: Orton pins Truth to eliminate him, and then Christian immediately hits Orton with a Spear to pin and eliminate him. We're down to Cena VS Christian.

11:04pm: Alright, well, that didn't last long. Cena locks Christian in the STF and makes him tap out. The face team wins. Nice main event.

Well, I called for a whopping total of 20 button presses, but I'll be honest, that's less than I was expecting. We actually saw three lengthy, entertaining matches this week, which is almost unheard of for an episode of Raw. On the other hand, there was still plenty of filler, ridiculous booking and dumb moments this week. It was a definite improvement over recent weeks, though, so I'll give it a C on the strength of the in-ring action alone.

Writer's Note Part Deux: In case you missed it in yesterday's column, a Hustle Fan Page has been created on Facebook. It now sits at 330 "Likes" and climbing. Here's the "Like Box" for you to check the page out and/or to add to the "Likes"..

I've already announced it on the Fan Page, but I'll announce it here, as well.. July is my birthday month, but to show how much I love my readers, some of you will be the ones receiving presents. You see, July is Reader Appreciation Month here on The HIPE Train. During the month, I'll be selecting random readers to receive prizes, bought and paid for by me and sent to them. The exact prizes are yet to be determined, but they'll probably be along the lines of a DVD of their choice (WWE, UFC, RoH, TNA, or whatever company you want), some sort of wrestling merchandise (a shirt of your choice from WWEShop, etc) and things along those lines. The "grand prize", tentatively, will be a copy of WWE '12 for the system of your choosing that I'll order and have sent to your home or local GameStop on release date.

I'm also going to be taking more reader requests for columns in the month of July, as well as providing an opportunity for a random reader or two to appear in a column with me. Those details haven't really been worked out yet, however, but you have to "Like" the Fan Page to keep updated on what's going on.

Oh, and if July's Reader Appreciation Month works out well enough, and I get enough "Likes" between now and then, expect another Reader Appreciation Month for December, in time for the holidays, with even bigger prizes. I have some special things in mind for then. Again, you have to "Like" the page first, though.

The HiPE Playlist: Raw.

Sowse.

-------------------------Day 537

Journey with me, if you will, back to the beginning of the summer of 2005.

The Killers were setting the Billboard charts on fire with their hit single, "Mr Brightside".

Theater-goers were flocking to see such films as Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge Of The Sith, Madagascar, Batman Begins and The Longest Yard.

In the sports world, the San Antonio Spurs and the Detroit Pistons had begun their series to determine who would be the NBA Champions for the 2004-05 season.

In a small wrestling promotion called Ring Of Honor, something big was going down. CM Punk was, arguably, their most popular worker, and when word broke that he had been offered a WWE contract, the fans were understandably upset. Their guy was leaving them. He had an upcoming shot at the RoH World Title, then held by Austin Aries, and everyone figured that Punk would be putting people over on his way out the door, as is usually the case in the world of wrestling when someone is prepared to leave a promotion.

To everyone's surprise, however, not only did Punk defeat Aries to win the RoH World Title, but he immediately turned heel afterwards and began threatening to leave the company with the title and take it to WWE. He even went so far as to come out during an RoH show and sign his official WWE contract, using the RoH Title as a "table" to hold the paper on. To this day, that's one of the most despicable and dastardly things anyone has ever done in RoH. In the end, Punk would go on to drop the title to James Gibson (aka Jamie Noble) and would basically be turned face again, leading to an incredibly emotional farewell match against Colt Cabana that featured more streamers thrown than just about any match you'll ever see in your life, as well as a visibly shaken Punk, who was already a sobbing mess before he even got to the ring.

Fast forward to now, the beginning of the summer of 2011.

Adele's "Rolling In The Deep" is still doing major damage on the Billboard charts.

Green Lantern and Super 8 are bringing people to the theaters, with Cars 2 on deck and ready for big numbers.

While the sports world waits to see if the NFL will finally end its lockout, there's still a euphoric high going around over the Miami Heat's loss to the Dallas Mavericks in the NBA Finals.

In a very large wrestling promotion called World Wrestling Entertainment, we could be on the verge of something big.. and something familiar.. going down. CM Punk is one of the more over workers in the company, and, arguably, their most popular within the IWC. Word broke that Punk wouldn't be renewing his WWE contract, and the IWC fans were understandably upset. Their guy was leaving them. He has an upcoming shot at the WWE Title, held by John Cena, and everyone figures that Punk will be putting Cena over on his way out the door, as is usually the case in the world of wrestling when someone is prepared to leave a promotion.

Are we really about to experience deja vu? Well, let's look at some possible directions..

- It is very possible that we're about to experience the same storyline that RoH gave us six years ago. Some will be upset about that, but I'm not one of those people. For one, it was very well done, and is still better than most of the things WWE is giving us these days. More importantly, though, is that most of the people watching WWE have never seen the storyline happen, because they weren't/aren't watching RoH. Some of them are RoH fans, but haven't seen the matches, promos and segments from the original "Summer of Punk".

I've already talked to a few people about the subject, but after thinking about it repeatedly, I think the most likely scenario for this.. scenario.. would be to have Punk pin John Cena cleanly at Money In The Bank. Have it be the final match of the show, and have the WWE commentary team actually do their jobs, for once, and sell how frightening it is that a man whose contract will expire in "about an hour" (at the time of the match ending) is now the WWE Champion. Have them give the hard sell for Raw the next night, wondering what the WWE is going to do, what John Cena is going to do, and what the anonymous Raw General Manager is going to do.

When Raw rolls around, Punk isn't there. He doesn't show up in the arena. He doesn't deliver a promo on the TitanTron. He doesn't even have a segment via satellite. Nothing. Cena comes out to defend the company and its fans, and says he wants his rematch, but the anonymous GM says there's nothing that can be done because Punk simply isn't there. Raw ends with no Punk, and presumably, no WWE Title anymore.

The following week, have some sort of loophole revealed that Punk still has to defend the title. The GM could say that the small print of wrestler's contracts states that owning a title supersedes certain things, like expiration dates, and that a champion is still required to defend his title once a month or face being stripped of said title. The GM would say that Punk is being ordered to defend the title against Cena no later than SummerSlam, or the WWE legal team will be looking for him. Again, though, Raw would end with no sign of Punk or the WWE Title.

The following week is when Punk could make an appearance, but only via satellite. Have him say he's talked it over with his legal team and that they had small print of their own inserted into Punk's contract, stating that he would only have to defend the title one time. Whatever. Something. Anything. Either way, Punk will defend the WWE Title at SummerSlam against John Cena.

- Another direction is the one that cynics are going with, and that is all of this being for nothing, ending with Punk being pinned or submitted at Money In The Bank, riding off into the sunset with another loss. Whether any of us would like to admit it or not, this is probably the most likely scenario, no matter how many "clues" are being dropped on us. It's also a scenario I don't want to think about, nor discuss, because it doesn't really add much to the column.

- Another direction features all of this "expiring contract" talks being nothing more than a SWERVE~! and will see Punk stick around because he has quietly re-signed with the company. I suppose this one could happen with any scenario at Money In The Bank. Punk could win the title, show up on Raw and say he used everyone (and especially his hometown fans) for sympathy and that he's never going to leave. Punk could lose the match, show up on Raw and say that he can't leave.. not when he knows he can beat Cena, blah blah blah. Again, it's whatever, and is a simple fix that even the Raw writers can take care of.

- Yet another direction is something that appears "obvious" to a lot of people. Punk wins the WWE Title, and everyone is going crazy over the thought of WWE not having the WWE Title, when suddenly, Raw's Money In The Bank winner cashes in and defeats Punk, sending him off into the sunset and keeping the title on Raw. For example's sake, let's say Alex Riley wins Money In The Bank. The response in the building that night isn't going to be very positive for him. The Chicago crowd is notoriously anti-Cena to begin with, and matching him up against their hometown guy of CM Punk means the crowd should be very pro-Punk. That means there should be a very loud face reaction for Punk beating Cena and winning the title. Riley then coming out to defeat Punk would probably turn that crowd against Riley immediately, giving him a "Cena Reaction", with the women and children cheering for him and the men booing him. That's why, if you ask me, I think this scenario would be much more interesting with a heel winning Money In The Bank. Someone like an R-Truth, or an Alberto Del Rrrrrio or a Mason Ryan (wait, let me explain). Drew McIntyre would have been a good choice, but let's face it.. he's not going from where he is now to the WWE Champion in less than a month. It's just not happening.

Now, before anyone explodes over me even beginning to hint at Mason Ryan being the WWE Champion, I'm merely saying that, if done correctly, it could really get someone over. With Mason Ryan being Punk's right-hand man, the storyline is right there for him to "turn" on Punk at the end of the show, cashing in his recently-won Money In The Bank title shot at just destroying an already worn out Punk. That Chicago crowd would go crazy. Punk's selling would make Ryan look like a thousand bucks (nobody's good enough to make him look like a million bucks yet), and, if everything goes according to plan, sets Punk up to potentially make a triumphant return as a face down the line. The "Mentor VS Mentee" storylines are tried and true in the world of wrestling, and this would be no different, I'm sure, but Ryan needs to improve his in-ring work and be pushed as the monster he could be.

If you're looking for a potentially interesting piece of the storyline, look no further than "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. Punk and Austin have been having a war of words on Twitter for a while, with people hoping to see a potential match between the two. If we get another "Summer Of Punk", that match probably isn't going to happen, but could Austin still find himself involved? Of course. If Cena is trying to convince Punk to "return", Austin could be added to the storyline, as a representative of the company, luring Punk back, only to have it announced, after Punk's return, that he (Austin) is the Special Guest Referee for Punk VS Cena at SummerSlam. Austin pulls off more of his shenaniganery as a referee, screws Punk, and Cena wins to regain the WWE Title. That could very well set up a Austin VS Punk match for down the road, if Punk ever decides to return. A WrestleMania co-main evented by The Rock VS John Cena and Steve Austin VS CM Punk sounds pretty good to me.

Would you like yet another potential storyline twist? No? Too bad. Let's say the Austin thing goes as I mentioned above. Austin shows up and gets himself inserted into the Punk/Cena match as the referee. However, let's then say that Austin shocks the world by turning on Cena and giving Punk the victory. Punk retains the WWE Title, and we find out that Punk is sticking around. WWE needs some help for the second half of the year. Once SummerSlam is over, things tend to go into the tank for a while until things start working towards the Royal Rumble at the very end of the year. Having CM Punk as the WWE Champion, able to be pushed as a legit top-level heel, is a good start. Having one of the most over names of all-time, in Steve Austin, around, as a heel, is a great way to keep that moving. Cena would need some sort of help, though, if he's going to be going up against multiple people like that. Hmm.. who could help him? Someone that has had some sort of interaction with him in the past. Someone who knows Steve Austin very well. Someone who's a big enough name to really help the storyline out, bring in extra ratings, and potentially help out buyrates. Who do we know that fits those descriptions? Oh.. I got it..

The Rock.

Sure, Rock and Cena are in the middle of their year-long war of words, leading up to their match at WrestleMania 28, but the competitor in Rock would want Cena to look strong all year long, making their match even bigger. The "WWE lover" in Rock would hate to see the games played with the WWE Title. The long-time friend of Steve Austin in Rock would be upset that Austin turned his back on the WWE Universe and "the guys in the back". People like to say that "dream matches" don't belong at "secondary events", and often, they're right. However, with ratings and buyrate numbers struggling like they are, the company needs to do something, or else events like Night Of Champions, Hell In A Cell, Vengeance, etc are going to see piss-poor numbers. Imagine the ratings spike that seeing Steve Austin and The Rock on television regularly would bring in. Imagine the buyrate spike that putting John Cena & The Rock VS CM Punk & Steve Austin on a "secondary event" like Vengeance would bring in. This helps carry the company in what would otherwise be a downturn in almost every aspect of business, and helps them be strong leading into 2012 and the "Road To WrestleMania".

The only problem with the addition of Austin and Rock to the storyline would be what would happen to Smackdown. Smackdown already has a serious lack of big names on the roster, and adding something this big to the "competition" would probably hurt them a lot. Guess what, though? I have a solution for that, as well, but I'll share that in another column, because this one is getting long enough as it is.

For another hint at a potential rehash of the "Summer Of Punk" storyline, I offer you the following picture..

At the top of the picture, you have a LiveJournal blog entry that Punk posted on June 15th, 2005, which is three days before he won the RoH World Title from Austin Aries. At the bottom of the picture, you have tweets that Punk tweeted about the current storyline. Familiar, no? That Punk.. he's a fucking genius. Draw your own conclusions from the picture.

Before I go, I do have one thing to add that is related to tonight's subject. With Punk potentially leaving the company on July 17th, WWE is in dire need of a heel like Punk. A smart one. A great talker. One that even the IWC can be a fan of. One that has been missing for a while. One that has had speculation surrounding him about a possible return. One that has been moonlighting as the lead singer of a rock band. One that is about to go back overseas for a summer tour that ends on.. surprise, surprise.. July 17th. It could alllll be coming together in a nice little package (No Glacier).

I apologize for the column being all over the place and being pretty long, but there's a lot to discuss with this subject. Sad/funny part is that I really only scratched the surface. This column could have ended up being twice as long, at least, but like I said, I do have a continuation coming sometime soon. For now, though, I turn it over to you, ReaderLand, like I always do. What are your thoughts on the scenarios I discussed in tonight's column? Which is your favorite? Which one do you think will end up happening, whether you want it to or not? Holla at ya boy and let me know what's on your mind.

Writer's Note: In case you missed it in yesterday's column, a Hustle Fan Page has been created on Facebook. It now sits at 340 "Likes" and climbing. Here's the "Like Box" for you to check the page out and/or to add to the "Likes"..

I've already announced it on the Fan Page, but I'll announce it here, as well.. July is my birthday month, but to show how much I love my readers, some of you will be the ones receiving presents. You see, July is Reader Appreciation Month here on The HIPE Train. During the month, I'll be selecting random readers to receive prizes, bought and paid for by me and sent to them. The exact prizes are yet to be determined, but they'll probably be along the lines of a DVD of their choice (WWE, UFC, RoH, TNA, or whatever company you want), some sort of wrestling merchandise (a shirt of your choice from WWEShop, etc) and things along those lines. The "grand prize", tentatively, will be a copy of WWE '12 for the system of your choosing that I'll order and have sent to your home or local GameStop on release date.

I'm also going to be taking more reader requests for columns in the month of July, as well as providing an opportunity for a random reader or two to appear in a column with me. Those details haven't really been worked out yet, however, but you have to "Like" the Fan Page to keep updated on what's going on.

Oh, and if July's Reader Appreciation Month works out well enough, and I get enough "Likes" between now and then, expect another Reader Appreciation Month for December, in time for the holidays, with even bigger prizes. I have some special things in mind for then. Again, you have to "Like" the page first, though.

The HiPE Playlist: "Summertime" by Asher Roth & Quan.. "Ronald Reagan Era" by Kendrick Lamar & RZA.. "Marvin's Room" by JoJo.. "Jungle" by Styles P & Royce Da 5'9.. "Gettin It" by Too $hort.. "Definition" by Black Star.. "Nann Nigga" by Trick Daddy & Trina.. "You Don't Have To Hurt No More" by Mint Condition.. "What Kind Of Man Would I Be" by Mint Condition.. "If You Love Me" by Mint Condition.. "Breakin My Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes)" by Mint Condition.. "I Want Her" by Keith Sweat.. "Nite & Day" by Al B Sure.. "On Our Own" by Bobby Brown.. "Every Little Step I Take" by Bobby Brown

I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all.

Source: lordsofpain.net