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RAW emanated from Hampton, Virginia, of all places. Jerry “the King” Lawler and Michael Cole were on commentary.

Highlights:
Rey Mysterio is the new WWE Heavyweight Champion…for an hour.
JR is back!
John Morrison is back!
John Cena is the new WWE Champion after a battle between Super-faces.
CM Punk is back!!!!! And he has a new T-Shirt and possibly a commemorative cup.

Match Summary:
Rey Mysterio defeated The Miz by pinfall for the WWE Championship.
Dolph Ziggler defeated Evan Bourne by submission.
Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres defeated Melina and Maryse by pinfall.
Zack Ryder defeated Michael Cole by pinfall.
Alberto Del Rio defeated Kofi Kingston by submission.
John Cena defeated Rey Mysterio by pinfall for the WWE Championship.

Opening Segment:
The opening segment is the one-fall match for the WWE Championship.
Rey Mysterio versus The Miz
The diminutive Chula Vistan came out first, followed by the Miz. The entire RAW locker room was set to watch the match on one small TV in the backstage area. Announcements were made once both competitors were standing in opposite corners. The two locked up. Miz bullied Rey to the corner and then let him out of the corner. Rey adjusted his mask. The two locked up again leading to a side headlock by the Miz. Rey whipped him off ropes. Shoulder block by Miz followed by a two-count. Rey followed series punches. Off the ropes, Rey kicked Miz in the face. Rey then hit a hurracanrana off the ropes. Rey tried another hurracanrana, but Miz caught him and then hoisted him up in the air, landing his face on the top turnbuckle. Rey took some time on the ground. In the corners, Rey received Miz’ running sit-through clothesline. Miz continued with an almost-Garvin Stomp. Miz kneed Rey in the back and then cinched in a rear chin lock. Rey battled out of it but then caught a knee to the midsection after bouncing off the ropes. Near-fall by Miz. Miz measured Rey and delivered a kick to the midsection while Rey was down. Miz choked Rey on the second rope, but the referee backed him off. When Miz returned, Rey caught him with an elbow. Miz then whipped Rey under the ropes and out of the ring. Rey flipped over as he landed. As Rey approached the apron, Miz delivered a low drop kick to his face. Positioning Rey on the apron, Miz went for a knee lift to Rey’s head but missed. Rey head-scissor-ed Miz and flipped him head-first into the steel steps, which JR always pointed out weighed 200 lbs. As both men regained their wits, RAW took a commercial break.

Back from commercial, Miz had Rey in another chin lock, but Rey fought out of it. Miz, though, hit his backbreaker-neck breaker combo and earned a two-count. Miz went back to the chin lock and held it. Rey slowly fought to his feet and broke free w series of elbows. Miz went for a suplex, but Rey flipped out of it. After three standup-switches, Rey whipped Miz shoulder-first into the steel post. Rey then, from top rope, landed on Miz’ chest, knocking him back to the mat. Off the ropes, Rey hit a body press and earned a two-count. Miz avoided a swinging kick and then administered a DDT to Rey, earning a near-fall. Miz then circled his down opponent. After a stiff boot to the head off the ropes, Miz earned another near-fall. Miz paused in frustration after failing to earn the three count. Miz approached Rey and Rey, from his back, kicked Miz in the head three times. Rey rolled up Miz and earned a close near fall. Rey then went for the 619 but missed. Miz hit a sit-through power bomb and earned a near fall. More frustration by the Miz, as he huffed and puffed in order to catch his breath. Miz then signaled for the SKF and stalked Rey as Rey recovered. Miz cinched in the full-nelson, but Rey grabbed the ropes and avoided the move. Rey ended up upside down in the corner, held up by his foot Miz charged with a knee, but Rey flipped up onto the top rope to avoid it. Rey jumped off the top rope and landed in a hurracanrana that put Miz in 619-receipt position. Rey hit the 619, followed by the flat splash from the top rope. Rey earned the pinfall and was named the new WWE Champion.
Winner by pinfall and new WWE Champion: Rey Mysterio.

Postmatch, Rey kneeled in the center of the ring and accepted the belt from the referee. Rey stood on the second rope and held the belt high. As Rey went across to the opposite corner, Miz attacked him, knocking him down. Miz was cleared of the ring by the referee. At this point, Alberto Del Rio came in with the briefcase and demanded that the match be started. Rey immediately landed a splash on him from inside the ring down to the floor. Del Rio, knocked back, vociferously demanded that the match NOT start and that he not cash in his briefcase opportunity.
Backstage, other superstars congratulated Rey and showered him with champagne. Last in line was John Cena. After an awkward pause when the two men faced each other, Cena congratulated Rey on his championship. After a short interview, the champagne shower continued.

Lawler and Cole, after explaining that Rey Mysterio is the first WWE Champion under the new HHH regime, reset the events of last week leading to McMahon’s dismissal and HHH’s ascension. Later on tonight, HHH would be giving the State of the WWE address.

Dolph Ziggler versus Evan Bourne
The two men locked up. Ziggler side headlock, Bourne Irish whip leading to a dropkick. Ziggler rolled out of the ring, and Bourne gave chase. Bourne kicked Ziggler’s leg. Bourne then went for a kick to the head, bit Ziggler avoided it and hit a leg drop. After a near fall, Ziggler stomped on Bourne in the corner. Ziggler then measured Bourne and hit a drop kick, earning another near-fall. Ziggler locked in a side headlock on Bourne, who struggled to get to his base but eventually did . Bourne broke free with a series of elbows. Ziggler countered with an attempt at a suplex, but Bourne, after being vertical, managed to get down. Ziggler rushed at Bourne in the corned but missed. Bourne hit a series of kicks, a dropkick, and a clothesline on Ziggler. Bourne went for a cover and earned a near-fall. Bourne went to the top rope and went for the air Bourne. Ziggler avoided it. Bourne landed on his feet and hit the Zig Zag. Ziggler lifted Bourne and applied the sleeper in the center of the ring. Bourne tapped out. Winner by submission: Dolph Ziggler.

(I was reliant on closed captioning since I had no sound on my TV; so the closed captioning described Alberto Del Rio as the “Mexican Artist Cat.” I love closed-captioning.)
Backstage, that Keystone Beer tool Keith Stone came over while the Bellas were arguing with Eve Torres. Torres was complaining about how the Bellas pull the twin magic rigmarole. At this point, Keith Stone concurred and said he knew what it was like to go twin. At this point, he lured one of the Bellas over to the side and pulled out a solitary green magic marker. The camera panned back over to Torres and the other Bella. The camera panned back over to Stone, and he had already drawn a beautiful, elaborate, multi-colored tattoo on one of the Bella’s entire right arm. Torres was pleased.
Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres versus Melina and Maryse I’m just glad to see Maryse. Maryse, after taunting Kelly Kelly, administered a Stinkface to Torres in the heel-diva corner. Kelly Kelly hit Melina with a Lou Thesz press and series of punches, followed by an ass-slap. Maryse saved Melina from a pinfall after being on the receiving end of a bulldog. Kelly Kelly finished-off Melina with a leg drop, earning the pinfall. Winners by pinfall: Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres.

Backstage, R-Truth pled his case to HHH. It was probably about conspiracy, but I wouldn’t know, since I couldn’t hear and since the closed-captioners were obviously not interested in writing down what R-Truth was saying. Lawler and Cole announced that HHH would announce a major reinstatement.

State of the WWE address HHH, Chief Operating Officer of the WWE, came out to the ring to deliver the State of the WWE address. HHH began by acknowledging that Vince McMahon and McMahon’s vision is the reason why WWE is the global phenomenon that it is today. The crowd cheered this. After congratulating Rey on his championship, HHH said that now that he’s in charge, he can do things a little bit differently. HHH said that there would be a second WWE Championship match so that the man who got cheated out of a rematch opportunity could get his rematch: John Cena. Both men are in agreement that there needs to be this match and it needs to be tonight. HHH then brought up the topic of a superstar that he thinks the whole world wanted back on RAW. The crowd was chanting CM PUNK CM PUNK. HHH then announced the return of a thinner Jim Ross. Lawler was ecstatic, but Michael Cole was not pleased about this. JR got a huge pop from the crowd, from what I could see. JR offered his hand to Michael Cole, who looked at HHH in disbelief and then turned his back to JR. Cole then threw his headset down and took the microphone and addressed HHH. Cole said that HHH was talking about the future of the WWE but then brought out a member of the walking dead, JR. Cole had done everything that was asked of him for the company, including putting JR’s foot in his own mouth. Cole said that working with JR is something that he just refuses to do. Cole then leveled personal attacks against JR and then threw a tantrum at HHH. HHH asked Cole if he was done. HHH said that his first inclination was to fire Cole, but it would cost the WWE more than if Cole stayed. HHH said that if Cole refuses to work with JR, then he forfeits all future earnings. HHH said that Cole can take the night off and mull it over. Cole said that he’s not quitting under any circumstances, and he’ll continue to do commentary. HHH reiterated that he gave him the rest of the night off, and that he will need the time to get ready for his match. Cole was upset at having to compete, protested that he was retired and his gear was in the WWE Hall of Fame, and begrudgingly retired up the ramp to get ready.

At this point, R-Truth came out and confronted HHH, asking what the new regime was going to do for him. After all, Little Jimmy cost him the match at Capitol Punishment, and the fear of heights and spiders cost him the MITB briefcase. HHH messed with Truth, as he addressed Truth’s tendency to talk to invisible people around him; so HHH responded to invisible people around him. A frustrated Truth left the ring, saying that HHH may be the Game, but Truth isn’t playing’. As Truth left the ring, HHH said that he resigned another guy, and that guy wanted a piece of Truth. At this point, John Morrison stepped out onto the entryway, clocked Truth, chased him to the ring, and administered a slow-motion beat-down punctuated by a Starship Pain.

Michael Cole came out to the entranceway dressed like HHH, with HHH’s music I’d imagine (since my DVR this morning still has no sound), his water bottle, and feeble attempt at spitting water out.
Michael Cole versus Zack Ryder Long Island Iced Z made his way to the ring. Ryder kicked Cole in the mid-section, used a Woo to set up his new finish, and then delivered a sort-of flying drop-kick-into-a-head scissor. Zack Ryder scored the easy pinfall.

Alberto Del Rio versus Kofi Kingston
Del Rio came out in a Rolls Royce Silver Cloud worth $92,000. Del Rio began with a series of kicks, a snap mare, and a slide-kick to Kofi’s face after bouncing off the ropes. Del Rio whipped K into the ropes, but K ended up climbing Del Rio and then landing in a sunset flip position. K then threw Del Rio outside the ring, where a frustrated Del Rio tried to regroup as RAW went to commercial. After commercial, Del Rio was controlling the action with an arm bar on Kofi. Kofi fought back with some elbows, but a determined Del Rio regained momentum. Del Rio hit the steel post hard with his shoulder as K avoided a spear. Kofi then hit a high cross body off the top ropes. Kofi hit a drop kick, a running lariat, a boom drop, and then signaled for the Boom Drop as he was favoring his arm. K missed the boom drop, and Del Rio hit an arm breaker. Del Rio went for the cover and was clearly frustrated at only earning a near-fall. Del Rio charged Kofi who was laying in the corner, but Kofi sat through the ropes into his usual stylish head kick. Kofi then mounted the top rope while holding onto Del Rio. From sitting on Del Rio’s shoulders, Kofi tried a sunset flip holding Del Rio’s legs, but Del Rio countered it into a pinning combination that Kofi then re-countered. As the referee’s hand was set to count to three, Del Rio grabbed the bottom rope in desperation, breaking the count. Del Rio rolled out of the ring, and Kofi continued to favor his left arm. Kofi approached Del Rio at the apron, but Del Rio snapped his arm across the top rope as Del Rio jumped down to the floor, sending Kofi careening backwards. Del Rio pounced, administering his flip-into-arm bar submission. Kofi tried to fight off the pain, but he ultimately succumbed to the Mexican Artist Cat (Thanks again, Closed Captioning). Winner by submission: Alberto Del Rio.

After the match, Del Rio refused to release the hold for a few moments. A fired-up, excited Del Rio celebrated in the ring as the referee tended to Kofi.

Hey, wouldn’t it be hilarious if Ricardo Rodriguez tried to cash in the MITB briefcase at some point when he happened to be holding it? He does have access to the briefcase.
The Miz was interviewed backstage by Josh Matthews. Miz’ take on things was that the entire mess was Cena’s fault; McMahon was going to fire Cena for all the right reasons; and HHH came in and messed things up. The Miz thinks that this new WWE is a mistake.

Rey Mysterio versus John Cena
Two super-faces set to do battle. What will happen? The two bumped fists in a show of pre-match sportsmanship. As the two men set to lock up, Rey kicked Cena in the shin, annoying Cena. He repeated the kick a second time. Next, a series of kicks to Cena’s hamstring. Rey then ended up attempting a sunset flip on Cena after Cena had lifted him up. Rey then controlled Cena with a side headlock. Cena Irish-whipped him but ended up in the headlock again. Cena flipped him back but ended up in the headlock. (Is this 1988?) Cena then suplexed Rey and earned a near fall. Rey continued with the kicks. Cena lifted Rey, but Rey turned it into a bulldog and earned a near fall. Cena pushed Rey into the corner pretty hard. When Cena charged, Rey ducked, and Cena hit the top turnbuckle chest-first. Cena ended up outside the ring, and Rey brought the action to him, launching himself over the top rope into a flip. After dueling misses, Cena clotheslined Rey and brought him back into the ring, earning a near-fall. Cena then slowed the pace by controlling Rey in a gut wrench. Rey made his way back to his feet and hit quite the DDT on Cena, earning a near-fall. Rey went for a kick, but Cena ended up trying to cinch in the STF. Rey made it to the ropes, however. Rey then did a twistless Starship Pain off the middle of the top rope. As Cena made it to his knees, he ended up in 619-receipt position. Rey went for the 619, but Cena caught his legs and dragged him to the center ring. Cena administered an authoritative power slam and earned another near fall. Cena was slow to get to his feet, as was Rey. Cena charged the corner, but Rey greeted him with a boot to the head. Cena started super-Cena-ing and connected his first shoulder block. Rey Rey greeted the second shoulder block with a drop kick that sent Cena reeling. Both men lay spent in the center of the ring. Rey attempted a cover, but Cena kicked out. After a series of trading big moves, Cena hit the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena lifted Rey for the AA, but Rey got out of it with a hard elbow. Cena tried to again position Rey for a power slam, but Rey converted this into a head scissor toss that sent Cena across the ring. Rey earned another near-fall. Both men struggled to reach their feet and did so on opposite sides of the squared circle. Cena walked towards Rey’s corner and felt victim to a drop toe hold, landing Cena’s face directly into the middle turnbuckle. Rey mounted the top rope and landed through Cena’s chest, knocking him to the floor. Rey then applied the STF to Cena?!? In the center ring, too. Rey could barely reach Cena’s neck. Cena powered out of this and tried to lift Rey from holding him at chest height to clean-and-jerking Rey over his head to rack him for an Attitude Adjustment. Cena’s knee gave out, though, and Cena dropped Rey. As Cena tried to get up, he ended up in 619-receipt position. Rey connected with the 619. Cena laid prone on the mat. Ray mounted the top turnbuckle and attempted his flat flying splash, but Cena lifted his knees to block the move. Both men made it to their feet. Rey shoulder blocked Cena into the corner. Rey mounted Cena for a hurracanrana, but Cena threw him out of the corner, almost like a Powerbomb-throw. Cena then mounted the top turnbuckle and landed a big leg drop on Rey in the center of the ring. Mysterio barely kicked out before the three-count. Again, both men struggled mightily to reach their feet. Cena reached his feet first and measured Mysterio. Cena tried to lift Rey for the AA, but Rey frantically countered and sent Cena into the ropes. Rey then went for the 619 once again, but Cena met him in the center of the ring, administered the Attitude Adjustment, and earned the pinfall. Winner by pinfall: John Cena.

After the match, Cena lifted Rey up and the two men stood together, hands raised. Cena then accepted the WWE Championship. At this point, CM Punk came out with his WWE Championship and a new “Best in the World” t-shirt. Punk came to the ring and confronted Cena. Cena raised his Championship in the air. Then Punk raised his a bit higher. (I’m pissed at my technical difficulties because I don’t know who got the bigger pop. I assume Punk did.) Cena then left the ring. And the credits began to roll.

P.S.: Regarding @CMPunk ‘s early-morning tweet, I’m sorry Punk had TSA issues in Norfolk. The Champ should be treated with more respect!
Follow me on Twitter @VanillaMandarin

Source: wrestlingtruth.com