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Day 590

"Bright Lights, Big City.."

SummerSlam is going to be a big pay-per-view, one way or another. Either we move on to a brand new era in the world of pro wrestling, or something will go down that will end up pissing a lot of wrestling fans off. Considering that the NFL is about to return, which means the return of Monday Night Football to go along with it, this is the worst possible time to start driving fans away from the WWE product. No more wasting time. Let's get to the predictions. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!!

Daniel Bryan VS Wade Bar-ruh
What I'd Do: Let them go out there and have a good old fashioned technical battle. With only five announced matches on the card, that leaves each match with the possibility of having more time than usual to work with. With that extra time, Bryan and Bar-ruh could really have a doozy of a match. Like I said, an old school type of match. Chain wrestling, reversals, submission attempts, etc. This would be a very nice first step in helping to build Daniel Bryan's credibility on his journey towards cashing his Money In The Bank Title shot in at WrestleMania 28, and that's precisely why I'd give Bryan the victory here in a nice, hard fought back-and-forth match.

What Will Probably Happen: I think this one "matches", to be honest. Bar-ruh, at this point, is over enough, and is big enough, to be a very good enhancement talent on the Smackdown brand. Maybe that term is a little harsh, but at this very point in time, it's the truth. With his size advantage, and with his main event history, the average WWE fan sees Bar-ruh as the favorite going into this match, especially after being able to beat Bryan down a bit on Smackdown this week. I know this term is overused, especially within the IWC, but I'd look for Bryan to "overcome the odds" here and pick up the victory. It wouldn't surprise me whatsoever if they got 15 or so minutes to work with, too, which means things could get really fun.

Sheamus VS Mark Henry
What I'd Do: Let them go out and have the match that everyone is expecting.. a brawl, with two big brutes beating the hell out of each other. There's no finesse needed here, that's for damn sure. This one makes for an interesting booking scenario. Mark Henry has certainly been booked in recent months as being the most unstoppable monster on the WWE roster. Sheamus, on the other hand, is coming off of a recent face turn, and is getting himself over. He seems on the verge of really breaking out as a star on Smackdown. Both men could really use a big win here. Both men could also really be hurt by a loss here, depending on how it's booked. That makes this a very important match. With Henry being booked as someone that really doesn't care about things like rules, and is only interested in destroying people and injuring them, I think it makes sense to have Sheamus get the win somehow, but for Henry to get his heat back afterwards. It could go one of two ways.. either Henry gets disqualified, but is able to continue some sort of beatdown after the match, with either Teddy Long or Triple H (the thought of Triple H assisting Sheamus is pretty funny) coming out to stop him before he could snap Sheamus' ankle in a steel chair, or just have Sheamus sneak out a victory and get attacked after the match, with the same stoppage by Long or Triple H. Just for the sake of being different than Super Chrisss' pick, I'll go with a DQ victory for Sheamus, continuing the feud for a little while longer.

What Will Probably Happen: Honestly? The other option in the previous paragraph. It could be argued that Sheamus needs the win more than Henry does, and because of that, I do think that Sheamus will pick up the victory in this match. Henry will be able to dominate the match for a while, but he'll make a mistake that Sheamus will be able to capitalize on for the win. After the match, as Sheamus is celebrating, look for Henry to attack him and get his heat back. I'd be shocked if this was the end of the feud, one way or another.

Kelly Kelly VS Beth Phoenix - Singles Match for the Divas Title
What I'd Do: If you've read any of my columns, the answer to this one should be pretty obvious. Sure, Kelly is feisty and spunky (more so than the usual spunk that she usually has sliding down her throat), and that's fine and dandy, but this is Beth Phoenix we're talking about. She's an absolute animal in the Divas division, and with this new edge to her character, giving her the title just makes sense. I would have Kelly try to put up a fight, but I wouldn't have the match last very long at all. No more than five minutes.

What Will Probably Happen: Just what I said I'd do if I were in charge.. Kelly puts up a good fight for a while, maybe even picking up the respect of many members of the WWE Universe in the process, but Beth gets the win and becomes the new Divas Champion when all is said and done, starting a brand new era in women's wrestling. Only time will tell how long that new era lasts, but it should begin at SummerSlam.

Christian VS Randy Orton - No Holds Barred Match for the World Title
What I'd Do: Ever since Christian dropped the World Title to Randy Orton the first time, and we saw Smackdown ratings continue to drop, you folks have seen me say that Christian should be given another chance to hold the title, just to see how much of the ratings drop was due to fans being upset over him losing the title in the first place. What happened when Christian won the title back? The Smackdown ratings went up. They continued to go up, reaching their highest points since WrestleMania. Yes, the rating went down a bit this past week, but I really don't think it's a coincidence that the ratings have been affected by Christian's booking like that. That places the company in somewhat of a weird situation. Wrestling logic and history would indicate that Orton will win his title back at SummerSlam. You'd have to think that runs the risk of losing more viewers for Smackdown. If it happens again, you'd also have to think that it won't be fixed by simply giving the title back to Christian. If the fans get pissed again, I would assume they'd be done with the show. However, on the other hand, you can't just be a hostage to that forever. Christian has to drop the title eventually. I wouldn't make that time now. He still hasn't had an entire month as the World Champion. He deserves an opportunity to build a strong title reign, as far as the duration goes. I think the next logical step to see about Christian's drawing power is to move him to a different feud.

What Will Probably Happen: All of the speculation surrounds Christian's comments to end this week's episode of Smackdown, where he said he just found something out, and all of a sudden went from being really worried about the match to being really confident about it. He then said that he has the "best thing going", and it sounds like he's talking about some sort of backup that will have his back at SummerSlam. I think, with the recent report that had Edge in town for SummerSlam weekend, that's who Christian is referring to. Christian thinks his best friend is there to help him, blah blah blah.. he is sadly mistaken, blah blah blah.. Randy Orton wins and becomes the World Champion again, blah blah blah. I really hope I'm wrong here, though.

CM Punk VS John Cena - Singles Match for the WWE Title - Triple H is the Special Guest Referee
What I'd Do: Give them another 35-40 minutes to work with. They've more than proved to the world that they have great in-ring chemistry and can handle matches that are longer than the average WWE main event. Is it finally time for that much talked about Cena heel turn? As I've said before, the main thing holding the company back from making Cena heel was the fact that there weren't any faces available to step up as the top guy, and that the company would lose a lot of money on merchandise sales without him. Well, with Punk's rise to meteoric heights, all that has changed. Punk has proven that he can be a top face, and his merchandise is selling better than anything in years. If there was ever a time to pull the trigger on a Cena heel turn, this would be it. I'd have the turn begin at SummerSlam, but not become official until later. Have Triple H screw Punk out of the match and the title, giving Cena the win, and then we can go from there. Have Cena see the Triple H interference, and not do anything about it. You know.. planting seeds. No need for a hug/handshake between Cena and Trips after the match. It adds more intrigue to Raw, and people will want to see what goes down. What will Cena have to say about Triple H's interference? What will the always opinionated Punk have to say about being screwed?

What Will Probably Happen: I'm past the point of predicting heel turns for John Cena. I'll just say that I'd get it started if I was doing the booking, but do I think it actually happens? No. I do think we'll get another lengthy match here, and I do think Triple H gets involved in the match more than just counting the falls. I'll say this, though.. the one outcome that absolutely positively cannot happen is Cena winning the match cleanly. No interference. No screwjobs. Just Cena pinning Punk, clean, to become the new undisputed WWE Champion. That will kill everything that has been built up in the storyline to this point. That might even kill CM Punk as an overall character. Like Cena said on Raw, if Punk loses this, people will view him as an overrated one-hit wonder, and it's going to be difficult to push him anywhere near this point again. Here's how I see it all going down..

- After another back-and-forth match, Punk pins Cena to win the match
- After the match, Punk begins to taunt Triple H with the WWE Title
- Triple H snaps and attacks Punk, laying him out with a Pedigree
- Alberto Del Rrrrrio comes out and cashes his Money In The Bank briefcase in
- ADR pins Punk to become the new WWE Champion
- Cena gets his shit together just in time to see ADR celebrating with the WWE Title in hand
- Trips stands off to the side with a look on his face like "What did I just do?"
- We go off the air with shots of ADR, Punk, Cena and Trips, and their various emotions

The HiPE Playlist: "Acura Integurl" by Frank Ocean.. "Bedtime Story" by Frank Ocean.. "Can't Be The Last Time" by Frank Ocean.. "Got The Keys" by Frank Ocean.. "Hardest Thing" by Frank Ocean.. "If I'm In Love" by Frank Ocean.. "Lonny" by Frank Ocean.. "Lost Angel" by Frank Ocean.. "No Love" by Frank Ocean.. "Open Air" by Frank Ocean.. "Ready" by Frank Ocean.. "Scared Of Beautiful" by Frank Ocean.. "When I'm Done" by Frank Ocean.. "Swim Good" by Frank Ocean.. "Thinking About You" by Frank Ocean

Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone.. but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery.

Hustle
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Source: lordsofpain.net