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1. Day 653 - Dear Gail Kim

2. Day 654 - You can't see it, but I'm shaking my head right now

2.5 Day 655 - Raw Running Diary

4. Day 656 - T-N-Awful? T-N-Awesome? (Contains Major Spoiler)

5. Day 657 - WrestleMania 28 Predictions

Beast mode, De. Beast mode.Day 653

Dear Gail Kim,

Hello. I think I need to take this time to contact you, based on recent happenings involving you and your wrestling career. It's just you and I here.. nobody else will know.. so I think we can carry an honest conversation here. Let me start off with some honesty..

You're not kidding anyone with your comments about World Wrestling Entertainment. As a great philosopher once said.. "We don't believe you, you need more people". You have to think about it from our point of view, Gail.. everyone on the planet knows that WWE has their backstage and management issues, but those are the same issues that they've had for years and years. Long before you even thought about becoming a wrestler. These are things that nobody will deny, whether they're fans, current wrestlers, former wrestlers, or just random people that worked backstage for the company at one point or another. This isn't even speculation anymore. They're facts, and you know it. With that said.. let me remind you of something..

You just got released from your WWE contract, but guess what? That wasn't your first time with the company. You spent two years, from October 2002 to November 2004, with the company before going off to TNA and spending time there. Now, with your second run, you've spent a total of just over five years with the company. Think about that very carefully. You're an Asian, so we all know that your brain is full of wrinkles. I'm going to pretend that you were a fan of wrestling before you first signed with WWE. Going on that, it would mean that you should know how the company operates. So, let's go over all of this real quick..

- You knew about WWE's "issues" before signing with them, and signed with them, anyway.
- You spent two years with the company, dealing with their "issues" and seeing it up close and personal.
- After spending three years away from the company and their "issues", you signed with them again.
- You spent two more years with the company, dealing with their "issues" and seeing it up close and personal.

I must ask you this, Gail.. why would you go to WWE, leave WWE, go to TNA and talk shit about WWE, go back to WWE, leave WWE, and then talk shit about WWE again? That doesn't make any sense. It doesn't even begin to make any sense. It doesn't even begin to begin to make sense. You sound like the typical scorned woman that doesn't get her way. Every guy I know has experienced those types of women, even if it's something they've seen from a far. You'll see a woman who is dating a guy, and she has nothing but great things to say about him. As soon as that guy does something bad, what do you hear from the woman? Nothing but bad things.. the guy is an asshole, he's broke, he has a small dick.. it's all slander. Then, the couple will make up, and it's right back to the woman having nothing but positive things to say about the guy. That's what you're doing right now. You told the world that WWE had a huge dick and gave you the best sex you've ever had, only to tell the world that WWE had a small dick and couldn't satisfy you.. only to tell the world that WWE had a huge dick and gave you the best sex you've ever had.. only to tell the world that WWE had a small dick and couldn't satisfy you. People see that and think that, at best, you're full of shit, and at worst, out of your mind. Why would you want the world to think that about you? Why would you go out of your way to make sure that the world of wrestling doesn't respect you or your opinion? That just doesn't make sense to me.

Now you're telling the world that you want to go back to TNA and end your career there. Clearly you haven't been watching the TNA product since you left the company. They don't spend anywhere near the same amount of time and focus on the Knockouts division as they did when you were there. The quality of the Knockouts roster isn't anywhere near what it was when you were there. If you go back there, you won't get the type of television time and attention that you're used to with TNA. I give it a month, at most, before you're doing an interview somewhere, talking about how "misused" you are. About that..

How "misused" can you be when it keeps happening to you? When multiple companies treat you a certain way, and it happens to you multiple times, it's more you than anything else. You aren't as good as you think you are, and you never have been. You have zero connection with live audiences. It really doesn't matter how many moves you know, or how many flips you can do in the ring. We've seen it time and time again with male wrestlers.. you can be a top notch amateur performer that can work various styles in the pro game, but if you can't cut a promo or if you can't find a way to make connections with live crowds all over the world, you're pretty much worthless in the world of mainstream pro wrestling. You can be a star on the independent scene with that, and it's pretty clear with people like Davey Richards, but when your promotion is on television and you have to get much more than just your in-ring work over, it's going to fail miserably. Charlie Haas is always the example I give for that. He was a fantastic in-ring technician, but couldn't connect with crowds to save his life. WWE tried to help him get over, and it didn't work. As soon as that became clear, he was kicked to the curb. Sure enough, now he's a member of the Ring Of Honor roster and is working at the top of the card and getting rave reviews for his work. I know you mentioned RoH in your interview, and I think that would be a great idea for you. As a relatively big name, the RoH fans would show you plenty of respect if you showed up, and you'd get more of a chance to showcase the worker that you think you are. Working with RoH could easily lead to working with SHIMMER, which would be like a dream come true for most female workers across the globe. I'm just saying, back to my original point.. if you're "misused" once, that's one thing, but if it keeps happening to you repeatedly, it's more of a "you" thing than the fault of anyone else.

I know I've talked to you before, but all of this was worth repeating. It is, however, the last time I'll be mentioning any of these things. I'm growing more and more tired of your act. While you aren't quite to the level of Matt Hardy, you still annoy the ever-loving hell out of me, and I must put my foot down at this point.. unless you do something like die, I probably won't mention you in my columns anymore, and even if you did die, I doubt I'd devote an entire column to it. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors, but in those endeavors, it might behoove you not to act like the typical crazy whore who is after that money, money, yeah, yeah. I'm just saying. Don't let that be your lasting legacy.

Sincerely,
Archduke Herschel Von Trapp Hustlington, IV Esq.

The HiPE Playlist: Nothing tonight.

Atta boy, Mac! Down with tyranny! Up with.. nontyranny!

Hustle
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-Team Sleep--------------------------Day 654
KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

I'm dreaming right now, aren't I?

I have to be dreaming. There's no way that the pay-per-view I just watched turned out the way it did.

TNA's Bound For Glory.. the company's biggest event.. the company's version of WrestleMania.. is now over, and well, it might be over for TNA, too. I'm not going to get into a match-by-match review of the show, because Joe Pesci knows that most of you don't care about who the Knockouts Champion is or what's going on with the Tag Team Titles. It's all about the big matches on the show.. Kurt Angle defending the TNA World Title against Bobby Roode, as well as Sting and Hulk Hogan having a "fight" for control over the company. That's all anyone is talking about, and that's all anyone wants to hear about, so that's all I'm going to discuss. Let's start with the "fight", because.. well.. just because.

For one, I was legitimately surprised that Sting/Hogan didn't get the final spot on the card. Looking back on everything that ended up happening, I'm even more surprised that it didn't get the final spot. The match itself was just about everything you'd expect. It was overbooked, featured a lot of "brawling", ended with both Sting and Hogan busted open and bleeding, and Sting won the match. To keep up with the point I've been making about him, that means Sting is now a mind-boggling 9-0-4 against Hulk Hogan in one-on-one matches throughout their careers. That's still insane to me, and I just.. oh, that's right.. the big story isn't that Sting won, or that Hogan lost. After the match, Immortal hit the ring for an attack on Sting. They were really working him over, and that's when we got what we were expecting to happen, based on various comments that Hulk has been making during mainstream interviews in the last few months.. we got the return of Hulkamania, as Hogan came to Sting's rescue. Hogan and Sting cleared house, they shook hands, and did poses in the ring, all while Dixie Carter was in tears at ringside. This really doesn't seem like the end of Hogan's on-screen career with TNA, and now, it doesn't even look like it will be the end of Hogan's in-ring career with TNA, which might be the saddest thing coming out of tonight's event. The match, while still being nothing I'd ever want to see again, was still better than most people expected it to be. At this point, who really cares about the match quality, though? It's all about the face turn for Hulk Hogan, and now where things go from here. This keeps Hulk (and Sting) squarely in the middle of things, and they'll continue getting a large chunk of television time. They'll continue to get a larger chunk of television time than most (perhaps even all) of the talent in the company, which isn't going to help anything. When your company's ratings are falling into the toilet, continuing to give viewers the exact same thing, month in and month out, isn't going to solve the situation. TNA should realize that. WWE should realize that. It just doesn't make sense. We'll get back to this, though. For now, let's move on to the main event.

TNA, I have a question to ask you. Just one question, right off the top of my head..

WHAT KIND OF RETARDED, DROOLING-ALL-OVER-YOURSELVES MONSTERS DO YOU HAVE BOOKING THE COMPANY?!?!?

You fucking fucks spent several months in building Bobby Roode up as the next main event star for the company. You put a lot of time and effort into taking him from being one-half of a tag team to being a singles star competing for the World Title. In one of the easiest money-making decisions a company could make.. one that is almost impossible to fuck up.. you give that guy the World Title (especially if it's at your largest show), and you move forward as a company behind the momentum that he has. Well well well.. even though it was almost impossible to fuck up, YOU FUCKED IT UP!!!!!

*ahem*

Not only did Kurt Angle retain the World Title, but the match wasn't even that long. It didn't even clock in at 15 minutes. That would be fine for an upper-midcard match, but the World Title match that has been built up for what seems like the entire 2011 calendar year? That's sad. If Kurt absolutely had to win, they could have at least had Roode take him to the absolute limit. Make it one of those 30-minute matches with Roode kicking out of and/or breaking free from every single thing Angle could send his way, to build the story of just how bad Roode wants the World Title. Have Roode come oh-so-close on multiple occasions, but have him fall just short. He'd lose, but even as a heel, Kurt would be able to cut a promo saying that Roode earned his respect and it helps to put Roode over, even in a loss. Now, even though there's some controversy (Roode's arm was under the bottom rope when the ref counted the fall), it was still a match in which Angle disposed of his top challenger in under 15 minutes. This was the shortest singles match on pay-per-view that Kurt Angle has competed in since July of last year, when he defeated D'Angelo Dinero in just over 12 minutes at Victory Road. Of course, this doesn't bury Bobby Roode. Knowing TNA's ass-backwards logic, look for Roode to defeat Angle for the World Title at this week's set of Impact tapings, since TNA has been about using pay-per-views to build towards television for a while now. It's still sad to see all of the months worth of promotion and build for Bobby Roode come to a fizzling end at the biggest pay-per-view of the year.

Right now, what we have is the absolute best possible scenario for Hulk Hogan, and something that, looking back on it, he's been telling us about for weeks now. Look at all of the promotional interviews he's been doing for tonight's event and what he's been saying. He said that Bobby Roode isn't ready to be the guy yet.. and Roode didn't win the World Title. He said that Hulkamania would be returning sooner than people think.. and Hulkamania returned tonight. The first thing I take from that is simple.. Hulk Hogan is a fucking idiot for basically ruining the results of the show. It's perfectly fine for him to go out and promote the event, whether he does it in character or not. That's great. TNA can use all the publicity it can get, especially if it's in the mainstream. However, when your most well-known name is doing interviews all over creation and damn near giving out spoilers, it hurts the hell out of the company. Why would anyone spend their money to order the show? It's not like TNA pay-per-views are setting all kinds of buyrate records to begin with. It's yet another move in TNA's history that is counterproductive to the point of near insanity. Back to the original point, though.. this is like a fantasy scenario for Hulk Hogan. In a single night, TNA not only kept their World Title on someone in his 40s, not putting over a new name in the process, but now the spotlight is right back on the Red & Yellow. I've seen more people discussing the Angle/Roode situation than the Hogan situation coming out of Bound For Glory, but let's be real.. that isn't going to stop TNA from pushing Hogan some more. He's bound to be involved in several segments on the upcoming episode of Impact..

- Dixie Carter will probably cut a promo now that she's back in charge of the company, and she'll probably bring Sting & Hogan out for it
- If not that, we'll get a promo from either Sting or Hogan, and he'll be involved there
- Eric Bischoff will probably cut a promo about Hogan turning his back on Immortal and how they now want revenge on him
- Expect them to rehash the recent Jeff Hardy segments, with Hogan backstage apologizing to random face workers for his recent actions

That's just the upcoming episode of the show. It will probably continue on in the other episodes that get taped this week, and that isn't what the company needs right now. I don't know how many more times I can say this about TNA, but they need to start building around their newer and/or younger talent. The people they've been pushing aren't working out whatsoever, and the numbers clearly don't lie about that. I just don't understand how a promotion can be so stubborn and so hard-headed that they'll continue shooting themselves in the foot until they eventually bleed out and die. Here I am thinking that the idea is to help your company and make it better, with ratings and buyrates going up, more money coming in, etc. What was I thinking?!?

I'm not going to be one of those people that is declaring TNA will be out of business in a few months. I've even seen some people go way over-the-top and say TNA will be finished by the end of 2011. No, the situation isn't that dire for them. Not yet, anyway. Tonight was a terrible night for them, though, and is already pushing some long-time TNA fans to look elsewhere for their wrestling fix. Get your shit together, TNA, and stop giving your fan base the finger like this. You might be the last hope that any of us have to get a truly improved wrestling scene. Without you as a viable threat, it sure doesn't seem like WWE will make great strides to improve their product, either.

Somewhere, Dana White continues to smile as he wipes his ass with crisp, brand new $100 bills.

The HiPE Playlist: Bound For Glory.

I always cry at weddings. You know, cause I know what it's like to be married.

-------------------------Day 655
#ThankYouJBL. This video never gets old.

9:03pm: Starting Raw off with an in-ring promo from John Laurinaitis is a terrible idea. It always is. Hell, having this fucking fuck talk, period, is a terrible idea.

9:05pm: Now this fucking fuck is stumbling over his own words? Wonderful. His promos weren't bad enough.

9:06pm: Just to further along his own personal record, Jim Ross is now back with the company for the 874th time. At this point, they're going to fire this guy on a weekly basis. Every week, he'll get fired towards the end of the show, only to be brought back the following week to be rehired.. until he gets fired again an hour later.

9:09pm: What.. the.. fuck.. we're getting John Cena & Jim Ross VS Alberto Del Rrrrrio & Michael Cole tonight. So, let me get this straight.. last week, they gave us one of the worst episodes of Raw that we've ever seen, and they figured the way to solve the problem for this week would be to make the fucking announcers wrestle again?!? You know what, WWE? I'm getting really sick of your bullshit. I've been watching your product, without any sort of stoppage, for over 25 years. Don't drive me away like this.

9:15pm: Tonight's first match is a six-man tag, with Randy Orton teaming with Sheamus and Job Morrison to face the team of the World Champion Mark Henry, the Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes and Christian. There's plenty of potential with this match, but will it be given enough time? That's the question.

9:19pm: Orton climbs to the middle turnbuckle and drops ten punches to Christian's face, and the crowd in Mexico calls out the numbers.. in English. That's not what I was expecting.

9:22pm: We go to commercial break as Orton chases Rhodes backstage. During the match. When neither of them was the legal man in the match. I guess that means we're down to Sheamus & Job Morrison VS Mark Henry & Christian. Alright then.

9:23pm: Bucky Larson, and now Jack & Jill? Adam Sandler is basically telling the world that he just doesn't give a fuck anymore and that all he wants is our money. Eat a dick, Sandler. What happened to you? You used to be a huge name. Now you're absolutely destroying your legacy by hanging around for way too fucking long, putting out some of the shittiest shit in the history of shit and trying to pass it off as good work. I'm going to refer to you as "The Excellence In Acting" now.

9:25pm: In what should be a clear sign to WWE management (should be, but won't be), this crowd was dead for just about everything involving John Laurinaitis, but has been nothing but hot ever since.

9:29pm: Morrison crawls to make the tag to Sheamus, but Christian pulls Sheamus off the apron. Instead of going back to make the tag, Sheamus chases Christian off into the crowd, leaving Job Morrison to live up to his name and take the World's Strongest Slam from Mark Henry. The heel team wins. The match was somewhat of a disappointment, in my opinion. There was more of a focus on two-thirds of the match brawling off into the crowd or to the backstage area, and not enough focus on the match itself. At least the crowd was hot. You know me.. always looking for the positives.

9:35pm: A new Brodus Clay video package, including words from the man himself. I love it. They're making him look like the monster that he is. Should be fun to see what he does upon his return to television.

9:36pm: lol @ the Bellas getting a huge pop when they appeared on-screen during a backstage segment with that worthless piece of shit John Laurinaitis, who got zero reaction.. again.

9:36pm: lolololol @ Ricardo Rodriguez not wanting to interrupt Laurinaitis' phone call, but still wanting to do his job, so he introduced Alberto Del Rrrrrio backstage by whispering his name multiple times.

9:39pm: You know what this show needed? Eve VS Natalya. ZOMG~! DAS WUT WE GETTENG RYTE NOWWWWW~!!! Break this heifer in half, Nattie. I know it won't happen because Eve has a Divas Title shot at Vengeance, but I'm still hoping for it.

9:42pm: Eve wins. Damn. Well, at least the match was short, and it continues the streak of the crowd being relatively hot for every single thing/person so far.. except for John Laurinaitis. Take the fucking hint, WWE.

9:49pm: So, The Miz is now doing his intro to R-Truth's song in Spanish? Word? It's like that now?

9:50pm: I'm telling you.. it's next to impossible to take Miz and Truth seriously with that stupid ring entrance. That's actually hurting their characters a lot more than it is helping them.

9:51pm: The Mexico City crowd chants numbers in English, but chants "asshole" in Spanish? lol @ "Culero" chants.

9:52pm: Triple H is out here to provide some backup for CM Punk, who was outnumbered in the ring by Miz and Truth. Michael Cole actually went ahead and mentioned that Trips is still the COO of the company, which pretty much kicks every fan in the testicles (or, the clitoris, depending on how your body is made up). I've said it on multiple occasions, but it's worth repeating.. they really do think their fans are stupid and won't catch on to things like that. They're outwardly insulting all of us.

9:54pm: MAKE IT STOP!!! KILL IT!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!

9:55pm: The match we're getting is CM Punk VS The Miz. Of course, both Triple H and R-Truth are at ringside.

10:00pm: Jerry Lawler, in describing how "mean" The Miz is, quotes a Taylor Swift song, followed by a remark from Cole that the reference makes sense because Taylor Swift is in Lawler's "age bracket". Ba-zing.

10:04pm: No, this punk bitch Laurinaitis didn't just come out here and STOP ANOTHER FUCKING MATCH.. no.. he.. fucking.. didn't.. just do that again. The company really doesn't give a shit if any of us watch Raw anymore, do they? This time, he stops the match to tell Triple H that he has "immigration issues". He isn't wrestling. Why does that mean the match has to be stopped?

10:10pm: We're back from commercial break and THE MATCH IS BACK ON!!! WHO THE FUCK IS WRITING THIS BULLSHIT?!? THIS IS ONE OF THE DUMBEST FUCKING STORYLINES IN WRESTLING HISTORY, AND THESE FUCKING TALENTLESS RETARDS ON THE RAW CREATIVE TEAM ARE ONLY MAKING THINGS WORSE WITH EACH PASSING WEEK!!!

10:12pm: Punk wins the match like a minute later, but now, with Triple H out of the building, Punk gets attacked by Miz and Truth.

10:13pm: lol @ the crowd popping because someone was running out from the back, but then they realized it was just referees, and the pop died out immediately. By the way, the streak is still going.. this crowd has been hot for everything and everyone, except for John Laurinaitis. They've had multiple opportunities to give heat for Laurinaitis, too, and it hasn't worked. The only way he'd get a crowd reaction is if someone put a shotgun barrel into his mouth and pulled the trigger, on live television. That would get a nice crowd reaction, without a doubt.

10:21pm: Did Jerry Lawler just refer to Vickie Guerrero as a "Mexi-Ho"? Something tells me that isn't TV-PG.

10:23pm: Every single match booked for Vengeance has been announced matter-of-factly. It's pretty clear the event isn't of importance to the company. Expect the buyrate to be horrible.

10:24pm: Jack Swagger going for the cheap heat, singing The Star Spangled Banner (and doing a terrible job) in Mexico.

10:25pm: Zack Ryder is out to interrupt Swagger's singing.

10:26pm: ..Ryder pins Swagger in 30 seconds. Actually, I'm not even 100% sure if the match even went that long. It might have been just under 30 seconds. Swagger is a former World Champion, by the way.

10:28pm: Mason Ryan waddles his way to the ring to prevent a two-on-one attack on Ryder, and then he informs Ziggler that they have a match next, which takes us to a commercial break. Even Mason Ryan got some crowd heat. You suck, Laurinaitis. I want you dead.

10:34pm: Ryan gets himself disqualified for not breaking the referee's count as he was attacking Ziggler in the corner. Yet another pointless match featuring this combination of people on Raw's midcard. It's painful to watch.

10:37pm: More promo work from Michael Cole. Exactly what we needed. Fuck this show.

10:45pm: I really wish they'd find a way to prevent those parts of the show that end up in a commercial break sammich, with absolutely nothing as a sammich filling. This time it was a run down of the Vengeance card, followed by some of ADR's ring entrance. Not even all of the entrance. Just some of it.

10:54pm: Remember back when Randy Orton did that weird dance before hitting Mark Henry with an RKO on an episode of Smackdown, and then he did that weird dance afterwards? Then, on the following episode of Raw, John Cena did a super-high jump in the air to celebrate winning his tag match? I think that was some sort of competition those two were having that week, to see who could have the strangest out-of-character celebration. I'm reminded of that tonight, because both Orton and Cena performed a really high-jumping leapfrog during their match tonight, and it's out-of-character for both men to do it, let alone both in the same night.

11:00pm: The crowd is really fired up for this. It's Cena, of course, but for once, a crowd is really hot for ADR, as well. Combine the two, and you have a crowd that is really into things.

11:04pm: Cena hits Cole with an Attitude Adjustment after ADR tagged Cole in and bailed, and JR makes Cole tap to an Ankle Lock. It still isn't enough to make me care, though.

11:05pm: ADR tries to attack Cena on the outside, but Cena reverses it and hits an Attitude Adjustment, then grabs a mic and begins counting to ten. Pretty clear what type of match he's going to choose for the WWE Title match at Vengeance.

11:07pm: A shot with the ring steps, and ADR is down for the ten count. Cena gets in the ring, and sure enough, he announces that his match with ADR at Vengeance will be Last Man Standing, one of his specialties.

#ThankYouMillaJovovich: Brodus Clay video package/mini-interview.. The crowd was hot

#FuckYouGilaMonsters: John Laurinaitis.. Booking announcers in yet another match, continuing the same storyline that should have ended over six months ago.. The entire storyline with Triple H as COO being one of the single dumbest things I've seen in all my years of watching wrestling.. No focus on the in-ring action again.. Not a single fuck was given about Vengeance, which means the WWE Universe will respond in kind

Grade: F. Again. This is getting ridiculous. If I could give an F+, I would, because this episode, while still being asstastic, was still slightly better than last week's episode. Hooray improvement?

The HiPE Playlist: Raw.

Bananas in the refrigerator? What are you, Puerto Rican?

-------------------------Day 656
A decade later, this is still an epic promo.

Writer's Note: Today's column includes a major spoiler from this week's Impact Wrestling tapings, so consider yourselves warned if you continue reading on. Just have to get it out of the way. Alright. Here goes..

TNA has spent the last few months building up Bobby Roode as something like the "future" of the company. He went from being a tag team specialist to being pushed, and pushed strong, as a singles worker, and all of the signs pointed to him defeating Kurt Angle at Bound For Glory to become the brand new TNA World Champion. It's an easy money scenario to put a new star over. It's basically a fool-proof plan.

The people in charge of TNA are clearly next-level fools, because they were still able to find a way to screw it all up. Against just about every odd in the books, Roode was unsuccessful in becoming champion, and Kurt Angle walked out of the pay-per-view with the title.

What would happen with Roode? Would his push be thrown out the window? Would he go back to being a tag wrestler? Would he regroup and come after Angle again? I mentioned in my Bound For Glory "review" column that TNA would use their ass-backwards logic and have Angle drop the World Title at this week's Impact tapings, because the company uses their pay-per-views to build towards television, instead of the other way around, ripping off anyone who actually pays to watch the shows.

Guess what? I was right.

Kurt Angle did lose the World Title at this week's Impact tapings.

It's about time that they finally allowed Bobby Roode to become the new World Champion. They've spent months building him up, and have put a ton of effort into getting him even more over with live crowds. I guess it's better late than never, because..

Wait..

What's that?

Roode isn't the person that beat Angle on Impact?

It was James Storm that became the new World Champion?

Oh, alright then. That makes perfect sense. James Storm hasn't been on the winning end of a match in two months, and that was a tag match. The last singles match that Storm won by pinfall or submission was in December.. of 2008. Of course he's the new TNA World Champion! The best part about it is that Storm won the match in about a minute. Yes, you read that correctly. Another TNA World Title match that went about a minute long. Hooray! Actually, in something of a funny sign, I've seen two sets of spoiler reports.. one says the match was about a minute long, and the other says the match was about three minutes long. Someone needs to learn how to count, either way.

I've talked about this with a few people on Twitter, but I'm convinced of it now.. the TNA Creative Team and the Raw Creative Team are the same people. They just have to be. It all makes sense to me now. They're both completely inept and aren't interested in doing anything that makes any sort of sense at all.

Look, I'm a fan of James Storm. He's a solid worker. He's over with TNA fans. That's great and all, but look back to the stats I just gave.. the new TNA World Champion went nearly three years between legit singles victories. I don't care who it is.. you can't go from no singles victories in three years to being World Champion overnight. Even if you're one of the biggest and most established names in the business, it wouldn't work. When you're a new main eventer, it makes even less sense. Like I said, you can be established already, but if you went that long without winning a singles match and then became World Champion, people would be all over it. We see it all the time with the WWE product, where so-and-so will lose for a month, only to be moved into a main title feud, and people will complain that it doesn't make sense. Three entire years, though? Seriously?

On top of that, what does that say for Bobby Roode? Look at how much of a chump that makes him look like. Yeah yeah yeah, I know that this is probably going to lead to a Storm VS Roode feud, with either Storm becoming cocky that he won the title and turning heel because of it, or Roode becoming jealous that Storm did what he was unable to do (and turning heel because of it), but if Roode couldn't defeat Angle, and Storm could do so easily, how the hell is Roode supposed to be viewed as any sort of legit singles worker now? He looks like an asshole now, standing there while his best friend and teammate is the new World Champion. It just further destroys the push that he was given over the last few months.

On the other end of things, I am glad that someone fresh is the top guy in TNA. Storm isn't in his 40s or 50s. He isn't someone that WWE kicked to the curb. He isn't someone that received failed pushes in the past. He's brand new to this, and everything begins from this spot. Is he capable of carrying the promotion on his back and moving them forward? Who knows? He certainly doesn't have any experience in doing so, and he certainly doesn't have the most trustworthy writers behind him to help him out, so nobody can know for sure. He's just in an awkward spot right now, because he's a part of something that wrestling fans have been dying to see for TNA.. new blood getting the opportunity to shine.. but he reached that point in an mind-numbingly stupid way. Everyone that paid for a ticket to see Bound For Glory in person, or who paid to watch Bound For Glory on pay-per-view, was just slapped directly across the face by the company. Damn near everyone I've talked to that went in person or who ordered it at home did so because of Bobby Roode. They wanted to see Roode become the World Champion. Their money went straight down the tubes. (Tubes? What tubes? We don't have tube one. We are essentially tubeless.) Then, on top of that, a World Title change was given away on free television, in either one or three minutes, and to a completely different person.

This is just frustrating to me. It's not the worst move that TNA has ever made, but it isn't the best move that TNA has made, either. In the grand scheme of things, I suppose I don't really mind that James Storm is the new World Champion, but holy shit, I wish the company would have been smarter in finding a way to make that happen. There will be a ratings spike for this week's episode, without a doubt. People will read the spoilers and want to see it go down, but we can't trust TNA to keep those extra fans tuned in for beyond this week, can we? Hell, I'm half-expecting Storm to drop the title to someone at the very next set of Impact tapings, and knowing the way TNA operates, it'll be to Kurt Angle again. We shall see. Like I said, it's just frustrating.. even when TNA decides to finally do something "right", they fuck it up and do it "wrong".

The HiPE Playlist: "The Program" by Termanology, Slaine & Powda.. "Dead On Arrival" by Young Chris.. "Cocoa Butter" by Action Bronson & Nina Sky.. "Wishin" by Rittz.. "Parking Lot" by Pill & Twista.. "Ready" by Terrace Martin & Brittany Barber.. "South Central Blues" by Slim The Mobster.. "Turn It Up" by Freeway.. "Beautiful" by Talib Kweli, Big K.R.I.T., Outasight & Mela Machinko.. "Make My" by The Roots & Big K.R.I.T.

There's no such thing as good news until I've had my Grape Nuts.

------------------------Day 657
Dumbass ho..

*By Request*

As is the case every year, I get requests for WrestleMania-related columns all throughout the year. As soon as WrestleMania ends, people are already asking me about the next year's event. One of the most requested columns, of course, is to predict the next year's WrestleMania card, long before matches begin getting booked. We already have a match booked for WrestleMania 28, but people are still requesting the column nonetheless. I've already done a prediction column for WrestleMania 28, for goodness sake, but the requests remain. I'm going to use a catch that someone gave me, though. In this column, I'll be predicting WrestleMania 28's card, but only using people that are currently under some sort of contract with World Wrestling Entertainment. It could be a main roster talent, someone currently working in FCW or someone under a Legends contract. That means I can't bring in TNA talents who I predict will "jump ship" between now and then. That means I can't have any more indy talents sign between now and then. That means I can't bring Chris Jericho back for any sort of match at all. That just adds to the difficulty, but that's fine. Alright, no more wasting time. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!!

Let's get things started with the Divas Title, just because. While it's almost impossible to figure things out when it comes to how WWE handles the Divas division, you have to assume that Beth Phoenix could very well be in line for a lengthy title reign here. There just aren't that many legit and logical challengers for her right now, unless the company wants to go back to people that either get no crowd response or perform horribly in the ring.. which they could very well be set to do soon. For the sake of my own sanity, though, I'm going to give Beth a good title reign and have her as the champion going into WrestleMania. As for who should be the challenger, it's someone that isn't being used anywhere near to their potential. It's someone that can outwork most female wrestlers alive today. It's someone who is closer to Beth than anyone else on the roster right now. Yes, I'm referring to Natalya. I think I'll end up predicting this match at WrestleMania every year until it actually happens. As is the case with any team in the world of wrestling, there's going to be some sort of tension written into a storyline, and you'll see the team split up. In this scenario, I'd look for Beth to become more and more arrogant as her title reign gets longer. She'll probably start using Natalya more to help her keep the title, and will probably start ordering her around in the process. After a while, Natalya gets sick of being mistreated and realizes that she's being used. It builds and builds until she can't take it anymore, and she turns face by finally fighting back and going after Beth. It writes itself.

Beth Phoenix VS Natalya for the Divas Title

WrestleMania 27 featured the WWE Title and the World Title defended on the card. That's it. No other titles. The United States Title was defended in the event's dark match, but having only two title matches on a show with eight total matches is a sad statement. I think that will be a little different next year. I'm not saying that every title will be on the line, making it Night Of Champions on a grander stage, but this next match will be the second title match I have listed. It seems pretty clear that the Intercontinental Title will be getting some sort of extra focus in the coming months. Cody Rhodes, as the man who currently holds the title, is being pushed into the main event scene, and has brought back the old design of the title, back when the Intercontinental Title really meant a lot in the world of wrestling. The United States Title, on the other hand, has meant next to nothing for a while now, with current champion Dolph Ziggler being in more tag team matches recently than anything else. His title has taken a backseat to his interactions with Vickie Guerrero and Jack Swagger, which is a shame. At this point, there's no use in having both titles floating around. The company can do a lot with one major midcard champion, allowing him to go from show to show and to feud with new challengers. The question is.. will Cody and Dolph hold the titles that long? I don't think there's a chance that Dolph keeps the title until WrestleMania, but I do think that he wins the title back, at least once, between now and then, and will have it going into April. Cody is in an interesting situation because people actually can picture him retaining the title for that long. If he does, it will make him the longest-reigning Intercontinental Champion since Shelton Benjamin won the belt on October 19th, 2004 and lost it on June 20th, 2005. Call me crazy, but I think we could be looking at a Heel VS Heel unification match. *Kanye shrug*

Beth Phoenix VS Natalya for the Divas Title
Dolph Ziggler VS Cody Rhodes to unify the United States & Intercontinental Titles

I had to take a bit of a leap of faith with the last prediction, and I have to take another one for this match. We've already seen the rumors of the company trying to break a world record for most people wearing masks in a single setting. The original plan was for Rey Mysterio to face Sin Cara. When Mysterio had to sit on the shelf after knee surgery, the talk switched to a possible Sin Cara VS Sin Cara match. However, the dos Caras (GET IT?!?!?) feud won't last that long. It remains uncertain whether or not Mysterio will return in time to compete at WrestleMania, but it still remains his goal. I'll play the optimist here and say that he'll be able to return for what will probably be his final WrestleMania (he's about to be 37 and clearly has much more wear and tear on his body than the normal 37-year-old wrestler does). Going with the original plan of Mysterio VS Sin Cara at WrestleMania will allow the company to break that oh-so-special record they want, and will even allow for Sin Cara to be built up nicely, feuding with the one person on the WWE roster that could make him look better than anyone else possibly could. Hooray for the positive things in life. For added intrigue, they could even make it a Mask VS Mask match, which could be the end of either man's tenure with the company, if need be.

Beth Phoenix VS Natalya for the Divas Title
Dolph Ziggler VS Cody Rhodes to unify the United States & Intercontinental Titles
Rey Mysterio VS Sin Cara

Mainstream publicity. The wrestling world craves it. Most wrestling fans hate how companies go about achieving it. It's something we've come to expect from events like WrestleMania, and I don't think WrestleMania 28 will be any different. This was a match that was rumored for a bit at the beginning of the year, and it makes sense. These two have history together, going back to 2009, when the Raw Guest Host gimmick was in full effect. In one corner, we have Big Show, who doesn't necessarily have a bunch of big feuds left in his career. He'd be good in a "special attraction" role at this point. He's already done it once in his career, facing Floyd Mayweather at WrestleMania 24, but this one could be even bigger, both literally and figuratively. I take you back to August of 2009, when none other than Shaquille O'Neal was hosting Raw and confronted the JeriShow tag team. We got some physicality between Shaq and Show, and that's when everyone started thinking Shaq could legitimately do this when he retired from the NBA. Well, guess what? He has retired from the NBA, and since then, the rumors have continued on. Shaq has been one of the biggest athletes (again, literally and figuratively) on the planet over the last 20 years, which would certainly guarantee some of that.. yes.. mainstream publicity if he were to actually step foot into a wrestling ring to perform. He brought plenty of mainstream publicity to the company just by hosting Raw and getting into a brief skirmish with Big Show during the episode. Imagine how much he'd get if he were to actually wrestle at the largest event of the year. It's just something that makes sense for the company, even if they have to turn Big Show heel again. Technically, they might not even have to. He can just be himself, and Shaq can be himself. The crowd will make their own decisions, and things will go from there.

Beth Phoenix VS Natalya for the Divas Title
Dolph Ziggler VS Cody Rhodes to unify the United States & Intercontinental Titles
Rey Mysterio VS Sin Cara
Big Show VS Shaquille O'Neal

Next up, we have one of the show's main events, but one that will undoubtedly be earlier in the card if it takes place. If you've paid any attention to my columns in the last month or so, this match would be no surprise to you. I've already laid out the way that the company should book it to happen, months in advance. We have the current World Champion, Mark Henry, absolutely tearing things up right now, and with Smackdown's ratings being up, up, up since he won the title (just saying that he's a contributing factor, not that he's the reason for the ratings spike), it would damn sure behoove the company to do as I said in my column and keep the title on Henry, making him look stronger and stronger in the process. Ready for another leap of faith? I am. Daniel Bryan, who hasn't wrestled a singles match on television since last month (and hasn't won a singles match clean on television in two months), is still in possession of a World Title shot, thanks to his Money In The Bank victory. He said he's going to cash in at WrestleMania, and eventually, they'll start building him up for just that. Sure, it'll start happening much later than most people would like, but as long as it happens, people won't complain too much. There's not really a lot to talk about here, because I've already done an entire column on it, but again, if done correctly, Henry defending the World Title against Daniel Bryan could do major business for the company. I'm just saying. I have had a strange feeling about Randy Orton being thrown into the match, as well, making it a Triple Threat, and with the rest of the card shaking down the way it is, it's the best possible option to get Orton on the card. Sure, some people would love seeing WrestleMania without Randy Orton, but let's be real.. if he's healthy, he's on the card, and he's in a marquee match at that.

Beth Phoenix VS Natalya for the Divas Title
Dolph Ziggler VS Cody Rhodes to unify the United States & Intercontinental Titles
Rey Mysterio VS Sin Cara
Big Show VS Shaquille O'Neal
Mark Henry VS Daniel Bryan VS Randy Orton in a Triple Threat Match for the World Title

What's that? Another leap of faith? Sure, why not? When you think of WrestleMania these days, you think of The Undertaker. His undefeated streak is almost seen as being larger than the event itself. The question remains if he'll wrestle at WrestleMania 28. He's getting older, and his body is breaking down, but if he keeps getting the time off that he gets (he hasn't wrestled since WrestleMania 27, which was his first match in over five months, and if he does return, he probably won't wrestle more than a match before the event), it raises the chances of him performing again. At 19-0, Taker's streak is incredibly impressive, but the march towards "20" might be too attractive for everyone involved to ignore. With the catch that I'm working with in this column, that eliminates three of the top rumored names for a potential opponent that Taker could face at WrestleMania. It removed Chris Jericho, Mick Foley and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin from contention. When you look at the current WWE roster, there aren't a lot of names that could make for an entertaining match with an aging Taker. However, there is one name that continues to be built up very well, and who I recently referred to as one of the top overall workers in the entire company right now, able to step into the ring with any opponent of any in-ring style and pull off a good match. This person even gave us an entertaining match with The Great Khali, of all people. Of course, I'm referring to none other than "Great White" himself, Sheamus. If Sheamus can work with Khali and make it a fun match, he damn sure can work with Taker and give us something fun to watch. Sheamus is also a big enough name to be viewed as a legit threat to Taker's streak. I'm a fan of Chris Jericho, but he isn't as big of a threat to the streak as Sheamus would be. He just isn't. The story can be simple enough.. Sheamus is big and bad, and he wants to prove himself by facing the "biggest" and the "baddest" at WrestleMania. Again, it just makes sense to me.

Beth Phoenix VS Natalya for the Divas Title
Dolph Ziggler VS Cody Rhodes to unify the United States & Intercontinental Titles
Rey Mysterio VS Sin Cara
Big Show VS Shaquille O'Neal
Mark Henry VS Daniel Bryan for the World Title
The Undertaker VS Sheamus

This next match isn't going in this spot because it belongs this high up on the card, ahead of the World Title match or The Undertaker's participation. It's going in this spot because I've been trying to think of a spot for these guys, but couldn't until now. It seems like every WrestleMania has some sort of a multi-man tag match that is thrown together as an excuse to get a bunch of people on the card without having actual storylines for them. I don't think this will be any different. Let's just take random names.. on the face side, we'll go with Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, John Morrison and Zack Ryder. On the heel side, let's go with The Miz, R-Truth, Christian and Wade Bar-ruh. It doesn't have to make sense. It doesn't even have to start making sense. Like I said, it's just a randomly thrown together multi-man tag match, which is used as an excuse for several talents to get a WrestleMania pay day without having to make multiple matches and multiple storylines.

Beth Phoenix VS Natalya for the Divas Title
Dolph Ziggler VS Cody Rhodes to unify the United States & Intercontinental Titles
Rey Mysterio VS Sin Cara
Big Show VS Shaquille O'Neal
Mark Henry VS Daniel Bryan for the World Title
The Undertaker VS Sheamus
Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, John Morrison & Zack Ryder VS The Miz, R-Truth, Christian & Wade Bar-ruh

The WWE Title scene is weak. I'm sure I don't need to point that out to most of you, but I did, anyway. As proof of how weak it is, every single person that is doing any sort of WrestleMania 28 predictions has the WWE Title match listed as something that could be taking place right now, which says a lot about how little faith people have in anything being changed between now and then. We'll be dealing with the same two-to-four people feuding with each other every month between now and then, and I can't really say that I disagree with that too much. It's with that line of thinking that I came up with my choice for the WWE Title match here.. two men already involved in the current WWE Title picture, and who have faced each other on multiple occasions in the last few months, including main eventing pay-per-views with each other. It's a match that I don't even really want to see, but again, what else can you do when you've been dealt a certain hand of cards? CM Punk. Alberto Del Rrrrrio. WWE Title. Hooray.

Beth Phoenix VS Natalya for the Divas Title
Dolph Ziggler VS Cody Rhodes to unify the United States & Intercontinental Titles
Rey Mysterio VS Sin Cara
Big Show VS Shaquille O'Neal
Mark Henry VS Daniel Bryan for the World Title
The Undertaker VS Sheamus
Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, John Morrison & Zack Ryder VS The Miz, R-Truth, Christian & Wade Bar-ruh
CM Punk VS Alberto Del Rrrrrio for the WWE Title

The night's main event will, of course, be John Cena VS The Rock. Everyone knows that, and nobody will be surprised when it goes on last, even after the WWE Title match, the World Title match and The Undertaker's match. That gives WrestleMania 28 a total of nine matches, which is a mighty fine total for WrestleMania, even with an extra hour on pay-per-view to work with. Even though I'm the one that came up with the card, I can't say that it's the best thing since sliced bread. I think it has an incredible amount of potential, and should be very good, but there are definitely better "dream cards" out there. Again, part of that has to do with the "only currently contracted talent" catch I had to work with, and part of it has to do with how much of a mess half the WWE is at the moment. Here it is, though.. my final WrestleMania 28 card, on October 19th, 2011..

Beth Phoenix VS Natalya for the Divas Title
Dolph Ziggler VS Cody Rhodes to unify the United States & Intercontinental Titles
Rey Mysterio VS Sin Cara
Big Show VS Shaquille O'Neal
Mark Henry VS Daniel Bryan for the World Title
The Undertaker VS Sheamus
Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, John Morrison & Zack Ryder VS The Miz, R-Truth, Christian & Wade Bar-ruh
CM Punk VS Alberto Del Rrrrrio for the WWE Title
John Cena VS The Rock

The HiPE Playlist: "What Kind Of Man Would I Be" by Chicago.. "Will You Still Love Me" by Chicago.. "You're The Inspiration" by Chicago.. "Hard Habit To Break" by Chicago.. "Love Me Tomorrow" by Chicago.. "Hard To Say I'm Sorry" by Chicago.. "Baby, What A Big Surprise" by Chicago.. "Let's Groove" by Earth, Wind & Fire.. "After The Love Has Gone" by Earth, Wind & Fire.. "September" by Earth, Wind & Fire.. "Fantasy" by Earth, Wind & Fire.. "Open Arms" by Journey.. "Faithfully" by Journey.. "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac.. "Africa" by Toto

When did you start jogging?

I'm in training, brah.

Did he just say he's in a training bra?

Source: lordsofpain.net