Taste My Rainbow - Taboo Subjects (Suicide)
[147] – Taboo Subjects (Suicide)
Another branch to this socially unacceptable series you ask? Why not? When it doubt, stretch the shit out (or something like that). I believe it’s time we get to the specifics of self-slaughtering…
[suicide]
[soo-uh-sahyd]
noun, verb, -cid•ed, -cid•ing.
–noun
1. the intentional taking of one's own life.
2. destruction of one's own interests or prospects: Buying that house was financial suicide.
3. a person who intentionally takes his or her own life.
–verb (used without object)
4. to commit suicide.
–verb (used with object)
5. to kill (oneself).
Origin:
1645–55; < Neo-Latin suicidium, -cida, equivalent to Latin sui of oneself, genitive singular of reflexive pronunciation + -cidium, -cida-cide
—Related forms
an•ti•su•i•cide, adjective
A bit morbid for your taste I know. But c’mon now, dildos. This topic is commonplace amongst emo kids, bipolar musicians and men paralyzed below the waist (think it through…). Don’t pussyfoot around the issue just because it’s a touchy subject. Now for a more modern description, let us resort to UrbanDictionary.com.
________________________________________suicide death emo depression kill murder sad depressed life suicidal gaykurt cobain hell die cutting homicide goth sex shit hate pain nirvana stupid love drugs shotgun loser cutter fail bitch bomb emotional cutfag myspace sadness dead genocide school music boring scene an hero euthanasia alcohol lol torture pussy boredom internet blood
1. Suicide
Your way to say to God "You can`t fire me! I quit!"
Georgie put the gun in her mouth and pressed the trigger
2. Suicide
People say suicide is selfish and cowardly. That's bullshit. It's more selfish to expect someone to go through life feeling like shit, just so you can keep them around because they make you happy or some shit. It is not they're duty to keep you happy whilst they go through hell, you fucking morons.
Someone decided their live was no longer living, so when they killed themselves, all the sensible people who loved them felt very sad, but realised that it would be selfish to expect them to go on living, just for their own pleasure.
3. Suicide
Something which should always be the LAST item on your to-do list.
Before hate from various countries unfairly rains down on me, The Candyman wants to clear the air real quick. I completely understand how and why suicide is chock full of seriousness. Tragic events that occur in life are downright awful and have the ability to haunt those somehow related for decades. There’s humor to be found in it however. People need to fucking lighten up once in a blue moon. For instance, I ran over a cute cuddly rabbit whilst driving my sister to a party several years ago. Britt suddenly burst into tears and disowned me for treating the bunny like an ordinary suburban speed bump. Sir Fruity knew better though. I had watched with mild curiosity as the fluff ball sat idly in the grass just beyond the street’s edge. The rabbit saw me cruising down the road at a RELATIVELY slow speed mind you and chose last minute to end his life under my front left tire. Eons later, I simply refuse to take the blame for a crime yours truly never committed.
As for suicide knee deep in comedy, look no further than my adolescence. I can vividly recall when this pro life organization made an appearance at my high school and left quite the impression on young SkitZ. To the extent where me and my black chum, Randy, decided to make use of the 1-800-SUICIDE business cards handed out that particular morning. Our plan of attack? We devised a scheme, called the hotline number from my casa and acted out a crudely immature skit; depicting the negro as a pubescent female teenager fed up with the rampant abuse perpetrated by her dickhead stepfather (i.e. me). We roared collectively for a good twenty minutes after the fact but the woman who answered didn’t seem very amused by our antics. What a lame bitch, right?
[suicidal celebrity moments in world history]
1st. Adolph Hitler Falls Inches Short Of Humanitarian Award (1945) >>>Click Here For Visual Aid<<< Hated by Jews and often parodied, museums across the globe have cashed in on the Grandfather of all Nazis. I slept through World War II in History class and skimmed The Diary of Anne Frank so forgive my severe lack of knowledge here. Dammit I should’ve used the video of JBL doing the Hitler strut in Germany!
2nd. Marilyn Monroe Whores It Up & Bows Out Early (1962) >>>Click Here For Visual Aid<<< More than anything, M2 was one juicy slice of vagina. The blonde pin-up girl graced the debut edition of PLAYBOY; meaning Monroe would’ve reached Mae Young status by now and subsequently lost whatever firmness still remained in her tits. Nonetheless, you can chalk up JFK’s assassination in ’63 to successful revenge. Fuck suicide… the Kennedys clearly disposed of this slut!
3rd. Kurt Cobain Drains The Main Vein Alright… Via Gun (1994) >>>Click Here For Visual Aid<<< As my adoration for Nirvana continues to manifest, the exact opposite is true in terms of his widow – Courtney Love. Yuck city. It’s a crying shame to think Kurt secretly despised the music his band put out towards the tail end of their run because Nevermind was a fantastic album overall. And hell… In Utero was no slouch either. Lord have mercy on their (Cobain & Love) child’s tortured soul.
Ironic, yeah?
[spandex clad patients of the suicide ward]
-- Hanging By Yourself Is Sooooooooo NOT Awesome (2007): Mmmmm I’m accusing the wrestling business in general for the untimely loss of this ECW Alumni. I mean Awesome struck gold while working for Paul Heyman’s company in the late 90’s by basically showing up out of the blue and snagging the Heavyweight Title from Taz. Oh but fame comes at a costly price, doesn’t it? Ask “The Fat Chick Thrilla” if you disagree. WCW threw Mike under the bus with a terrible fucking gimmick and Awesome found even less fanfare in WWE as he served as Velocity fodder before getting canned. It’s rather unfortunate neither promotion gave the dude any sort of opportunity. Besides Latino Heat, Awesome was the only guy still rocking a mullet in the 2000’s. Four summers prior to this upcoming one, a group of friends found the former Hardcore Champion suspended in midair via rope inside his Tampa home.
-- The Houdini Of Hardcore Practices His Disappearing Act… Kinda (2003): Crash Holly’s death especially bummed me out because short stack was such a riot on television during the Attitude Era. The Holly’s were unique and fresh and each member of the trio could hold their own; whether it was between the ropes or cutting a solo/joint promo. However when Crash began branching out and competing continuously in the Hardcore Division, I jumped on the bandwagon without hesitation. Needless to say, Mike Lockwood singlehandedly made the 24/7 rule a hit and offered wrestling marks a whole slew of memorable segments. The 22-time titleholder became a main fixture of WWF’s programming practically overnight. Sadly, the shtick eventually grew old, Vince handed Holly a pink slip, Crash signed with TNA and nixed himself four months later with booze & prescription pills. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.
-- Family Drama Containing Horror Movie Dynamics (2007): Pretty much over analyzed nowadays but the double murder suicide warrants a spot in this column without question. You can attribute it to the ‘roids, twenty plus years of diving head butts & steel chair shots, bipolar disorder or a combination of the three. The Crippler (aptly named) ditched a few weekend house shows and scheduled pay per view match with CM Punk to visit the household. I’m still ticked off that we were robbed of a guaranteed gem by the way. As for what transpired at Casa del Benoit, I’m gonna assume you remember the details of Dad’s gruesome murders and cowardly lynching.
-- Out Of The Closet And Into The Casket (2010): Who better than Kanyon!? Uh I dunno… Any shmuck still alive and well for starters. To be honest, I saw very little of the guy during The Flock’s reign in WCW. Even though Kanyon’s booking in terms of the Invasion storyline was an abomination, I enjoyed the childish comedy and interaction with DDP. In retrospect, I’m disappointed the ‘E didn’t pursue Kanyon’s on-screen persona further as a strong midcard heel. Instead, management opted to mock his homosexuality by dressing the fag up as Boy George, singing karaoke and consequently suffering a savage raping from Taker. They call that an evening to forget ladies and gentlemen. Kanyon drowned his sorrows with a bottle of anti-depressants roughly thirteen months ago.
[career suicide for the lesser educated]
Moobs & Skin Flaps Beyond Your Wildest Dreams - Granted Big Daddy V was surprisingly agile for an obese motherfucker, the majority of the IWC were immediately disgusted by his wrestling attire. What good those suspenders did I have no Earthly idea. They sure didn’t protect opponents from Viscera’s swinging utters. Not to mention tattoos at that stage of the game seem altogether pointless. And whenever Big Vis flashed has stupid ‘V’ shaped hand gesture, all I could ever picture was him performing oral sex on a skinny white chick. It felt as if the character leant Viscera to continue his inhumane eating habits (which ultimately lost the porker his job). Wasted utilization of Matt Striker however; who incidentally has a promising managerial career ahead.
Santina Pleases Drag Queens Yet Nobody Else - Playing the villain for a second, Marella’s odds of shattering the glass ceiling were never really attainable. But given his popularity, positive attitude and similar experiences in the past, many of us held out hope that Santino’s crowning achievement remained possible. Those ill-advised fantasies vacated our respective realities during early ’09 when the Creative Team went overboard and strapped the Italian with utter dog shit. Feigning the identity of Marella’s twin sister, Santina won the Miss WrestleMania battle royal at WM25, inexplicably defeated superior competition such as Beth Phoenix and then entered a program with Vickie Guerrero. If your ears aren’t bleeding yet, visit a local doctor.
The Truth Shall Set You On A Quest For Equal Opportunity - Along with my Main Page counterparts, I’ve spewed venom in Ron Killings’ direction ever since his second WWE stint began. The “What’s Up” theme music irritates the hell out of me, Truth’s finishing maneuver is borderline laughable and he comes off as an uneducated thug from the wannabe projects. So my natural instincts were to resent K-Kwik’s heel turn but I cannot bring myself to play Devil’s advocate any longer. I’m digging present day R-Truth and the drastic change to his personality. The amount of mic time he’s receiving every Monday night blows my mind. Character development FTW! Placing Killings in a program with Mysterio is all kinds of brilliant. Put the negro over Rey Rey, keep building him and set the payoff for Money In The Bank. I wouldn’t slate him to capture the strap but a Cena/Truth WWE Title bout could be money if booked accordingly. Plus, you’ve got a readymade feud once Morrison gets healthy. Just to clarify, ol’ K-Kwik’s managed to escape this section’s stigma and therefore earned my approval.
Yo Saturn’s Been Out Of Orbit For Ages - Pfffft I’d avoid any relevance too if my boss made me portray a muscle bound retard emotionally attached to a mop. That’s a step above Hornswoggle and a peg below Eugene. As punishment for legitimately attacking jobbberino Mike Bell, Perrywinkle was assigned to this gig for a decent stretch in 2002 and fans ate it up. Wrestling tights clad in cow print, milk cartons featuring Moppy’s face on the back and a bony MILF with massive floatation devices. Company officials lost their cool when they discovered Saturn’s overness and hurled his material girlfriend into the wood chipper like a bunch of animals.
[suicidal tendencies: who’s on the brink?]
Think of Trivial Pursuit minus ¾ the brain power. I’m on borrowed time so this nonsense is gonna be semi short and sweet. Which superstars are teetering on the edge and ready to snap due to circumstances outside of their control? I’ve come up with a few names to get the ball rolling.
Christianity Ain’t Getting You Nowhere, Son* - OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE WWE WOULD DO THIS TO HIM! CHRISTIAN’S BUSTED HIS ASS FOREVER AND THEY REMOVE THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP FROM HIS WAIST TWO DAYS AFTER WINNING IT!?!? I’M SOOOOOOO PISSED RIGHT NOW AHHHHHHHHH!!! UGH FUCK RANDY ORTON AND HIS PUMPKIN FACE! What proceeded is your generic reaction to Captain Charisma dropping the belt on the post-Extreme Rules edition of SmackDown to The Viper. Firstly, you twat waffles need to chill the fuck out. I believe it’s painfully obvious what management’s planning to do here. Christian can’t get the job done as a protagonist, falls victim to the dark side and forces Randall to relinquish the strap towards summer’s end. Judging by my calculations, Captain Charisma’s fate is still pending. Hence the asterisk at the beginning of the paragraph.
Money In The Bank But Settling For Bankruptcy - Poor Shelton Benjamin. He wowed us for the better part of a decade with his insane athleticism and consistently outshined the competition every year in the annual MITB ladder contest. Then out of nowhere, the Gold Standard’s released from the company and searching for work elsewhere. Well as if that wasn’t bad enough, Shelton’s brought in to work a dark match recently, blows his load and prematurely posts on Twitter that he’s likely resigning with World W******** Entertainment. Not the smartest move, Benjamin. Best of luck in your future endeavors and please don’t invest in any razor blades.
Unlimited Potential Can’t Push You Past These Obstacles - It took me a while to come to grips with reality but JoMo’s sexy self is just plain unfit to roam this planet much longer. Despite his Hollywood good looks and chiseled frame, Abtastic has about 381.7 things working against him. The head honcho doesn’t think you can realistically kick another man’s ass in real life. Your girlfriend’s handing out samples to random passerby in the locker rooms. Your male P.M.S. struck during ‘Mania weekend and prompted petty politics to offend a highly respected Diva. The neck’s acting up and now requires major surgery. Sweet Jesus you’re doomed to fail, dude. This saddens me greatly for what it’s worth.
Da Bad Guy For Any Number Of Reasons - Self explanatory. And don’t blame it solely on the addiction(s) if Scott Hall croaks soon. Not even his boy Kevin Nash can vouch for the hot mess.
SkitzLOP@aol.com
Taste My Rainbow - Taboo Subjects (Sh*tting)
[145] – Taboo Subjects (Sh*tting)
Hey gents. Feeling healthy? Awww that’s too bad. Anyhoo, let’s start off by examining the definition of deuce dropping…
[shitting]
noun, verb, shit or shat, shit•ting, interjection Vulgar .
–noun
1. excrement; feces.
2. an act of defecating; evacuation.
3. the shits. diarrhea.
4. Slang . pretense, lies, exaggeration, or nonsense.
5. Slang . something inferior or worthless.
6. Slang . a selfish, mean, or otherwise contemptible person.
7. Slang . narcotic drugs, especially heroin or marijuana.
8. Slang . possessions, equipment, mementos, etc.; stuff.
–verb (used without object)
9. to defecate.
–verb (used with object)
10. Slang . to exaggerate or lie to.
–interjection
11. Slang . (used to express disgust, disappointment, frustration, contempt, or the like).
—Idioms
12. give a shit, Slang . to care; be concerned.
13. no shit, (used to express amazement, incredulity, or derision).
14. up shit creek, Slang . in a desperate or hopeless situation; inserious trouble. Also, up shits creek, up shit creek without a paddle.
Origin:
(v.) variant (with short i from past participle or noun) of earliershite, Middle English shiten, Old English scitan; compare MiddleLow German, Middle Dutch schiten ( Dutch schijten ), Old HighGerman skizan ( German scheissen ); (noun) re-formation from the v., or continuation of Old English scite (in place names)
Mmmmhmm yep. Very informative. Even that last bit about pilgrims and Indians. Unfortunately, I’m somewhat afraid whether the information above has painted an appropriate picture for everyone. So to reassure myself and the masses that we’re on the same page, here’s a little helping hand from Urban Dictionary.
_______________________________shitting shit pooping poop crapping crap toilet poo dump dumping asssex farting bathroom turd diarrhea taking a dump fart feces shatdefecating pissing fuck blumpkin texting anal pooing sharting pissdefecation fucking asshole shart wanking shits shitter taking a shit pantsblowjob anus shitty head defecate eating scat dookie gay butt bootypeeing cleveland steamer
1. Shitting
- buy shitting mugs, tshirts and magnets
1. The elimination of fecal waste through one's anus.
2. The art of expelling feces from one's anus in a manner that exceeds the definition of "pooping" or "crapping".
3. The act of making incredulous, sometimes unbelievable statements.
1. I was just in the bathroom shitting.
2. Oh God how I love shitting!
3. No fucking way, you're shitting me!
Couldn’t have described it better on my best day (p.s. they’re pretty scarce). While birthing a brown baby boy may be common discussion amongst you and friends/family/other acquaintances, it’s no secret the topic is frowned upon in public areas and venues. The same can be said for farting in church but that’s a whole different story itself. We all unload doo doo butter on a daily average pretty much (although it changes depending on each person’s diet and physical condition) so what’s the issue? I’ve never quite figured it out to be honest. America, and the world in general, frequently blab about things far more gross and unflattering than popping a squat on the porcelain throne. Certain groups of females (see rich broads with wealthy husbands and spotless reputations) are mortified by the mere thought of shitting; let alone engaging others in various dialogue pertaining to human manure.
It appears the average Joes such as you and I who don’t have our heads up the assholes of passerby feel most comfortable shooting the breeze about blasting the can. Some poor folks can’t escape it no matter what because of circumstances outside their control. For instance, I’m trapped like a rat. My father (God bless his intestines) shits and rips ass more than any other individual I’ve ever known or met. No joke. Yours truly works alongside the man Monday-Friday and there have been stretches where Pops literally floats air biscuits from 9 to 5. It’s repulsive yet admirable since I assume the gift(?) will surely come in handy down the road somewhere. But hot damn… those farts are often raunchy enough to burn the lining off your nasal cavity. Actually depositing the baked goods are a totally separate monster. I don’t know too many men who can bomb out a bathroom like SkitZ Sr. does routinely. Seriously, the bastard can initiate the poop chute during late morning, I’ll leave in-between, grab breakfast, hit up BEST BUY, visit an amigo, return home and the hallway STILL fucking reeks! Those are some intense bowel movements.
[fecal moments in wrestling history]
1st. Crapper 3:16 (Stone Cold Stunners Goldust And Goes Porter Potty Tipping) >>>Click Here For Visual Aid<<< When the hell was this? ‘97ish? This occurred before Sir Fruity began following wrestling and therefore cannot comment on this particular segment. It belongs on this list however.
2nd. El Burrito Loco (Latino Heat Pulls A Dumb & Dumber On Big Show) >>>Click Here For Visual Aid<<< From the early-mid 2000’s it appears. Must have taken place during my two year hiatus from WWE. Tis’ a shame. Again, can’t offer any additional insight since I didn’t see it live…. Or taped. You know what I mean, twat waffles!
3rd. Nuggets Of Joy From Mother Nature (DX Shower The McMahons & Spirit Squad With Artificial Turds) >>>Click Here For Visual Aid<<< Circa 2006. As it turns out, I did in fact watch this bad boy in real time. But like the nauseating stench of feces, this was awful and self explanatory. To suggest it did wonders for the careers of Nick Nemeth & Kenny Doane is… probably half correct.
[shittiest moments of 2011 thru april]
1st. Rocky’s 187 Minute Promo To Open WM27 - What? I don’t give a flying fuck if this is classified as old news. Absolutely terrible decision on management’s behalf. The People’s Champ had been cutting promos every week since mid February. I’m assuming unless Johnson’s working off another wrestler or celebrity with a microphone, there’s little worth mentioning to 71,000+ wily fans. For those taking notes, this is an excellent way to kill a crowd right off the bat. I want no part of ‘Team Bring It’ and nor should you.
2nd. Michael Cole’s Fifteen Minutes Of Fame - If you’re gonna get all technical on me, I suppose M.C.’s moment in the spotlight lasted a tad longer than 900 seconds but whatever. Facts are facts and the verbally abusive commentator stunk up the joint in Atlanta. Mix Steve Blackman’s haircut with Gillberg’s body frame, Vinnie Mac’s moveset, Harvey Whippleman’s personality and BLAMO – that’s Cole in a nutshell. If he were slightly younger and more active competition wise, I’d almost feel sorry for Lawler. Boasting this as your sole victory at the global phenomenon is nothing to brag about.
3rd. Ending ‘Mania In A Draw… Before Restarting The Match For 5.8 Seconds - Care to disagree? Of course not. You also realized long ago that WWE screwed the pooch (whoa easy there, animal rights activists / save it for the next column) in terms of ‘Mania’s main event. Despite what tomfoolery the company had planned for us afterwards, screwball finishes should be reserved for RAW and irrelevant summer PPVs. Not to mention the booking blunder landed Miz with a concussion. All that nonsense so Rock could exact revenge and drop Cena with a rock bottom. Big whoop.
4th. Dwayne Johnson’s Birthday Celebration On RAW - Am I a hater? Party pooper? Undisputed buzzkill? I tend to think otherwise but perhaps. In my opinion, last Monday night’s episode sucked horse dong; except for the WWE Championship bout. Stroking Mr. Hollywood for the majority of two hours is a cute idea but following through with the concept should’ve raised some red flags. Instead of concentrating the program on welcoming the brand’s newest members and beginning fresh storylines, management provided Johnson with one enormous ego boost after another. The show’s conclusion was more anti-climactic than my proudest bedroom conquests.
[nutty, corny, shitty decisions made lately]
1st. Derailing Christian’s World Title Reign 48 Hours Later - Clearly, there’s gotta be more to this than the IWC’s currently aware of. Nonetheless, I’m borderline shocked that management would press the eject button this soon into the Canuck’s stint as supreme ruler of SmackDown. You’re telling me the powers that be couldn’t at least wait until Over The Limit (i.e. 21 days)? The smarky side of me approves the move as it gives skeptics a newer target whenever the phrase ‘transitional champion’ comes into play. Yet I can’t help feeling as if somebody with backstage leverage laid down the trump card. Hopefully, Captain Charisma turns heel, brutalizes Orton and regains the gold in short order.
2nd. Sin Cara’s Carnival Type Ring Entrance - Yuck city. Two of the Mexican legend’s initial appearances in WWE were clouted by botched acrobatics. This might not concern or enrage some fans of the sport but c’mon now. Flippy jumpy spinny shit is what this dildo is supposed to excel at, right? Huh? No. DON’T YOU DARE BLAME IT ON THE TRAMPOLINE STUNT GUY. I mean do you expect the dude to completely crawl out from under the ring because this clown can’t complete a springboard somersault? Bullshit. Throw a mini-trampoline in front of my feet and I’ll touch the sky.
3rd. Morrison Giving Trish The Cold Shoulder To Appease His Lady Friend - Correct? It’s not as if adhering to Melina’s womanly demands have brought JoMo any World Championships. If anything, the Hispanic Diva’s passed along nothing but a slew of sexually transmitted diseases. And while I love to poke fun at promiscuous females on television, word has it that Melina’s in a category of her own. Congratulations on sleeping with 90% of the locker room, slut. I bet the corporate suits in neighboring organizations commend such trashy behavior.
4th. Jobbing Punk Of Legitimacy & Assorted Perks - Obviously, management isn’t worried about the potential loss of Cookie Monster; arguably their most talented worker overall. Because if the company cared, The Straightedge Superstar wouldn’t be spending more time on his back than the chick from the previous paragraph. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if the rumor regarding Punk being unhappy with his booking over the last calendar year were accurate. That program with Big Show at the end of last summer was an abomination. I understand the logic of removing the belt from a wrestler preparing for vacation but to job him to death for no other reason is just plain retarded. I’m praying Cookie Monster disappears and doesn’t resume business until Vince slides a fat contract under his nose. Referring to Mr. Sobriety as a multi-time World Champion sounds fictitious nowadays.
[head scratcher: which shit fits the crime?]
Confused? Don’t be! The premise is basic… find the kayfabe character who you believe best matches each specific scenario. The Candyman will withdraw a few names from his hat but feel free to suggest alternative options. Did I forget any further levels of defecation? If so, direct them towards my email at the bottom of the page and I’ll respond accordingly.
String Cheese - Yes, sir. Those shits that you’d swear came from a monkey or large creature with wings. Wait scratch that… birds always crap out foamy whitish stuff. Kinda like shaving cream. Getting back on track, these are basically spray cheese from a can that you drizzle on crackers. If you’re lactose intolerant, try and picture an earthy colored tapeworm. My money’s on Justin Gabriel.
Pebbles In The Sea - Constipation can be a motherfucker. You go ages without pinching something off and then suddenly there’s pressure in your rectum but nothing happens. Turtleheads are no fun let me assure those who are foreign to the term. Several minutes of grunting and clenching for a couple puny marbles. Mark me down for the perennial unemployed, Ted Dibiase.
Salad Shooter - Yeesh I wouldn’t wish this punishment on my worst enemy. The best way I can describe it is… imagine you devoured a giant bowl of straight salad, the ruffage never digested and then came out your mudhole spray painted light brown. Very rough on the sphincter whilst exiting and guaranteed to shower the toilet seat’s lower half with debris. Grab the toilet scrubber, Chavo Guerrero!
Bloody Stool - Now hold on for a second before you get the wrong impression. The bloody nature of the poop comes from various hemorrhoids on the butthole’s outer rim. Caused from the recipient constantly forcing out shits the size of small boulders. Often frowned upon by skilled physicians but treated with the proper creams and antibiotics. I’m giving a shout out here to the massively overweight Brodus Clay.
Hot Water Haven - Ah the grandmother of gut busters. Usually a side effect from food poisoning (experienced firsthand by author), this cruel fate results in it’s’ victim doubled over in agony as the stomach becomes a gurgle factory. More than any other shit-driven episode, you wanna avoid this doom at all costs. Air bubbles course through your lower regions and shoot steaming liquids out of the ass at dangerous speeds. TIP: Grasp the seat to maintain balance and courtesy flush occasionally. Honors go to Mark Henry.
Oh and for you Pendleton’s battling with the endless wipe 24/7, just stop and surrender.
SkitzLOP@aol.com
