[144] – SkittleZ vs. Super Chrisss

BA BA BOOM! Judging by the virtual calendar in the bottom right corner of my computer screen, it’s about time to crank up the competitiveness. Guess that means I should remove the tampon from my nether regions now that my cat fight with Pnk is officially history. Speaking of The Candyman’s female foe, can you believe that hobag out-predicted me in our WrestleMania 27 picks!? Dear lord I’m losing my winning touch all of a sudden. Pnk (6-2) finished one better than SkitZ (5-3) and pushed my overall deficit to dos. WWE management cost me a point by relegating Sheamus/Bryan to dark match duty. The Celtic Warrior would’ve retained the U.S. Title by hook or crook. Woo woo woo… You know it. As does fellow Main Pager Super Chrisss who stupidly accepted my challenge for Extreme Rules.

SkittleZ: 10.0 / The World: 12.0_____________________________________________

SkitZ: Please tell these fools that this collab isn't a payoff for me titling the Zack Ryder column in dedication of you....
..... I SAID FUCKING DO IT!

Chrissstopher: Oh we both know that's exactly what it is, Candyman! You've joined the Zack-Pack and are trying to make amends. How does it feel?

SkitZ: Dammit you've caught me red handed. Initially, I was cautious about publicly stating my fondness for the Long Island Iced Z but those YouTube videos were/are pure gold. I couldn't keep silent any longer.

Chrissstopher: Aren't they contagious? How John Morrison got his own talk show on WWE's website while Ryder’s confined to YouTube is something I'll never understand. #WWWYKI

SkitZ: Touché. But don't think I’m not aware of what you're trying to do. Butter me up like a hot biscuit so I take it easy on your mudhole during the ensuing predictions. Ha! Feeble attempt, pal.

Chrissstopher: Well, if I recall correctly, I went 10-2 for my Draft predictions last week. Now are we going to get this party started, or is there something you have to admit to the readers and Simone?

SkitZ: Very well, foreigner. Two can play that game.

Chrissstopher: Who you calling a "foreigner"? Isn't your favourite superstar - or should I say retired superstar - Canadian?

SkitZ: Oh we're gonna go that route, are we? Don't even get me going on your irrelevant fantasy boy toy. I may dig that New Yorker's personality and charisma but remember who's ass he whiped a few years back, bitch.

Chrissstopher: Learn how to spell, douchebag. How did you ever make it to the Main Page before me?

SkitZ: By schmoozing people... Duh. Now stop wasting space and start analyzing.

Chrissstopher: You're the boss. What's up first?

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes in a Falls Count Anywhere Match

Chrissstopher: For some reason, I'm not feeling this match as much as their Wrestlemania bout. Cody already got the win, and doesn't have much to prove. If anything, a loss against Mysterio will only derail his momentum. Thoughts?

SkitZ: Naturally, the buzz and allure of the program's died off a tad since WM27 but Rhodes has continued his awesomeness. With Rey Rey recently moving to RAW in the Draft, their feud's obviously set to conclude this Sunday. Logic would suggest that management puts The Dashing One over again at Extreme Rules but how often does WWE book competently? I'm worried they'll wanna send Mysterio to the red brand with an impressive PPV victory.

Chrissstopher: As much as it pains me to say it, I agree with you. Cody SHOULD win this feud, but since I doubt there will be a final encounter at Over The Limit, I have a bad feeling Rey will do his gay little Superman act and emerge victorious this Sunday. Even though it's been done to death, I wouldn't have minded a Mask vs. Mask stipulation added on. I kind of miss the "Dashing" one.

SkitZ: And you gotta remember that this type of stipulation favors The Mexican Jumping Bean somethin' fierce. He'll likely do the usual flippy spinny jumpy nonsense to score the three count. The mark in me will certainly be rooting for Rhodes but let’s be honest here... Senor 619 hardly ever loses a singles contest at consecutive pay per views.

Chrissstopher: And people wonder why I hate him so much. So in conclusion, Over-Rey-ted for the win?

SkitZ: Mmmm I begrudgingly agree. On a brighter note, I'd love to see Cody carry on with the mask shtick and enter a feud with SmackDown newcomer Sin Cara. Use the same strategy as the company did with Rhodes/Mysterio and just tweak it slightly. That shit would be money, son!

Chrissstopher: Nice to see you using your head for a change! But can we please speak about something other than Sin Cara? You know how I feel about him.

-- SkittleZ’ Pick: Rey Mysterio wins
-- Super Chrisss’ Pick: Rey Mysterio winsMichelle McCool vs. Layla in a
No DQ, No Count-out, Loser Leaves SmackDown Match

Chrissstopher: On one hand, it’s sad to see the greatest thing going for women's wrestling in the WWE come to an end. On the other hand, I think Layla will finally have the chance to succeed on her own as a face, even if it means losing on Sunday.

SkitZ: You summed up my thoughts exactly. Management's clearly turning Layla face and hitting the reset button on her character. Team LayCool was entertaining while it lasted, kept us sane and filled the void up to Kharma's debut nicely. Odds are McCool maintains her position on the blue brand because of hubby and the company feeds poor Layla to Kong in the near future.

Chrissstopher: Even though you're probably right, at least that means Layla will probably defeat The Bellas for the Divas Championship before WWE debuts Awesome Kharma. As for Michelle, maybe she'll renew her old friendship with a recently drafted Alicia Fox?

SkitZ: I'd beg to differ. McCool seems to have up/downgraded into full blown bitch mode which means alliances will be few and far between. Layla's been booked like a total pussy (keep it clean, folks) and that leads me to believe the Diva is doomed to fail. In regards to this Sunday of course.

Chrissstopher: Oh, there's no doubt McTaker is winning at Extreme Rules. Unless the rumors about Undertaker joining Raw are true and the Mrs. comes along for the ride? Aw fuck it I'll play it safe.

SkitZ: Atta boy. The Phenom shouldn’t even be exclusive to one brand if we’re getting technical. Same goes for Trips.

-- SkittleZ’ Pick: Michelle McCool wins
-- Super Chrisss’ Pick: Michelle McCool winsRandy Orton vs. CM Punk in a Last Man Standing Match

SkitZ: I was hoping like hell management would grow enough testicular fortitude in time for' 'Mania to have Randall do the job but no such luck. You've gotta figure this Sunday is when Cookie Monster exacts revenge and leaves Orton a bloody unconscious mess, right?

Chrissstopher: Uhhh, wrong. The Punk mark in me wants to see him get a decisive victory over Orton on Sunday, but I don't see it happening. Like Mysterio, I'm sure management wants Orton to debut on his new brand looking super-dominant. Unless of course Punk gets some unexpected assistance. Am I crazy for thinking we might see a Mark Henry run-in at Extreme Rules?

SkitZ: Yes. If the companies' planning a Henry/Orton program, we have far greater concerns. With all of these fresh new faces for The Viper to dominate on SyFy, there's no fucking need for him to bother with SkidMark. Nobody wants to see that. I don't in any aspect.

Chrissstopher: Well, when you think about it, Orton doesn't have many heels he can immediately feud with. He's faced Sheamus numerous times in 2010, and Rhodes isn't ready...yet. We might get Henry vs. Orton sooner than you think. Anyways, getting back on track, I'm going out on a limb here and picking Punk to be the last man standing on Sunday.

SkitZ: I assumed you were playing it safe and siding with The Viper... Stop reading my cue cards! You better believe Nexus' presence will be felt at ringside at some point during the contest. Orton can withstand superhuman amounts of punishment but fortunately, Punk can just keep throwing bodies at him until the method proves successful. WWE will toss Mr. Sobriety a bone to strengthen the stable's morale.

Chrissstopher: Damnit, looks like we agree again! Stop living in my shadow, you wannabe.

-- SkittleZ’ Pick: CM Punk wins
-- Super Chrisss’ Pick: CM Punk winsJerry “The King” Lawler & Jim Ross vs. Michael Cole &
Jack Swagger in a Tag Team Country Whipping Match

Chrissstopher: Every year, I spend a good portion of my paycheck ordering Wrestlemania, so it's rare I purchase Backlash/Extreme Rules. However, I was going to make an exception to the rule until I remembered about this match taking place. Tell me, when has a feud died such a horrible death? Even Bret vs. Vince concluded at last year's WrestleMania.

SkitZ: Lol @ your lack of faith. However I can't bring myself to speak otherwise. Being a Cole Miner doesn't make this storyline disaster any less painful to endure. I've had my fill and can't stand much more. Every time I convince myself that the worst has occurred, I'm proven wrong the following Monday night. Just let it end and quick.

Chrissstopher: The way I see it, there’s only two outcomes. Best case scenario: Swagger turns on Cole (turning face in the process), Lawler wins, Cole becomes exclusive to Smackdown!, and Swagger becomes a big babyface on RAW. Worst case scenario: Cole & Swagger win, and the angle continues into the next Pay-Per-View.

SkitZ: Why does Option B seem so much more plausible? I'm praying The All-American American finally blows up and assaults M.C. but it's mainly a pipe dream for yours truly. Like you mentioned previously, this impending botchfest is a major reason why I won't be coughing up fifty bucks for Extreme Rules. Especially since this bullshit will probably be as lengthy as the main event. Complete blasphemy.

Chrissstopher: Screw that. If Vince has any sense left in him, he'll pull the plug to this trainwreck on Sunday and let the "good" commentators get their long-awaited win. I hate to beat a dead dog, but how does Cole have a match at Extreme Rules while Ryder is forced to main-event Superstars?

SkitZ: Life is cruel like that I'm afraid. But if the sole purpose for the feud was to give Lawler his big moment, the program would've finished at WM27. The continuation nearly guarantees a different outcome this time around. Sir Fruity's backing Swagster & Co. Gool ol' JR will get his comeuppance for busting open Cole's mouth on RAW. You know there was some legitimacy behind JR's punch.

Chrissstopher: That fool damn near broke his hand! It looks like JBL has been teaching him how to shoot, I mean fight. Anyways, I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for a fairytale ending on Sunday.

-- SkittleZ’ Pick: Michael Cole & Jack Swagger win
-- Super Chrisss’ Pick: Jerry “The King” Lawler & Jim Ross winChristian vs. Alberto Del Rio in a Ladder Match for
the vacant World Heavyweight Championship

SkitZ: Early MOTN candidate? It's no secret that Captain Charisma excels in this type of environment. Almost as much as my Edgykins (insert frown face). Nonetheless, I'm psyched for the high percentage chance of Christian finally getting his due. We both know the quality will be top notch but as for the result? I dunno, homie. Management could shaft the Canuck again and pull the trigger on ADR's crowning achievement instead.

Chrissstopher: See, that's the thing. With Del Rio being drafted to RAW and all three participants of the Steel Cage match being Monday Nighters, logic dictates Christian will win the title on Sunday. However, it seems almost too good to be true. Edge retires as the face world champion, and Christian immediately takes his place. One way or another, someone's getting screwed.

SkitZ: Watch your mouth. But yeah that seems to be the case. If WWE were so gun-ho on pushing Del Rio to the moon and beyond, the title switch would've happened at 'Mania earlier this month. I'm figuring Copeland's sudden retirement will force the companies' hand and they'll throw the belt on Captain Charisma. It's apparent that Edge wasn't going to drop the strap anytime soon. And he & Christian are basically one in the same. Therefore, where's the harm in rewarding blondie?

Chrissstopher: Simple: WWE likes swerving the fans for no reason. But there's a problem. Does management have enough confidence to let these two men main-event a PPV? Because a Christian win would definitely send the fans home happy. Ugh why can’t they BOTH be world champion?

SkitZ: Hey you're preaching to the choir, pal. I'm just not envisioning ADR bringing the World Title along with him to RAW next week. Nor am I confident about WWE featuring both champions on the same show. Besides, they just did so two(ish) years ago. Despite whether Miz retains or loses his respective belt, it makes sense for Christian to walk out of Tampa with the gold. I suspect he will convincingly.

Chrissstopher: True that. This may be Captain Charisma's last chance at winning the big one. So what if Del Rio was supposed to win the title at the last few PPVs or so? He can wait a little bit longer. #Christian4Champ

-- SkittleZ’ Pick: Christian wins the title
-- Super Chrisss’ Pick: Christian wins the titleThe Miz vs. John Cena vs. John Morrison in a
Triple Threat Steel Cage Match for the WWE Championship

Chrissstopher: Thank God R-Truth was removed from this match less than a week after he qualified. Face or heel, Truth does not deserve to tangle with the big boys. I know you've been pulling for a JoMo title push for months now. Think his time has come on Sunday?

SkitZ: Nada. After he cost me at the Rumble and EC, I vowed to never choose Abtastic in a pivotal bout ever again. And I'm sticking to my promise (for now at least). Compound that with all of this Melina/Trish drama and I sincerely doubt Morrison leaves the PPV satisfied. He'll probably steal the spotlight as per usual but that's about it.

Chrissstopher: Can't disagree with you there. It really comes down to Cena or Miz leaving with the gold on Sunday. Considering that WWE is heavily debating having Del Rio vs. Cena main-event SummerSlam, it would make sense for Cena to win the title at Extreme Rules. That being said, is it wise to take the belt off Miz weeks after his big Wrestlemania victory?

SkitZ: Nope. Plus, they don't wanna take away from Christian's career defining moment. Sir Awesome's put together a terrific rookie reign in my opinion. Why sell it short? Give Mizanin a few additional weeks to brag and showboat. Cenation's already donned the title what? Nine times? I'm sure he can manage without #10 until late May.

Chrissstopher: Amen, brother. I would rather see someone besides Cena dethrone The Awesome One but I suppose a Cena win is inevitable - just not yet. I expect The Miz to escape the cage and leave with the WWE Championship still intact.

SkitZ: Seconded. JoMo might've weaseled his way into this bout but that doesn't mean he's free of any lingering consequences from his unprofessional actions at WM27. Abtastic's there to give Miz an escape route so the champ can avoid a loss. Don't be surprised either if Truth (aka Chrissstopher's favorite person) pops up towards the matches' closing sequence.

Chrissstopher: In a Steel Cage? So he's going to pull a Kurt Angle and randomly scale the walls? Truth would probably fall off and break his back - not like that would be a bad thing, mind you.

Miz will retain, plain and simple.

-- SkittleZ’ Pick: Miz retains the title
-- Super Chrisss’ Pick: Miz retains the title

SkitZ: Ah you don't gotta be such a Negative Nancy, dude. The Artist Formerly Known As K-Kwik showed off some mild comedy this past Monday. Surely, you chuckled at the little Johnny segment?

Chrissstopher: Not really. It started off decent but like his attack on Morrison the week before, went on and on. Truth needs to start hanging out with Punk to learn how to be a good heel.

SkitZ: Bingo. Cookie Monster's Twitter account is a solid starting point.

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